Wounded Courage (Lucky Thirteen) (20 page)

The bed dipped as his knees moved on the bed, but still he held himself over me.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I whispered. Emotions, too many to count, whirled around inside me. An ache began between my legs, but I couldn’t clench my thighs together. He was kneeling between them. Why did he always bring that feeling out in me? He made me a wanton sex kitten when he was around.

“Don’t I? You’re always getting into trouble.” He was so close to me, so dangerously close. And yet, not close enough. I wanted him against me, on top of me, in me. 

“Yeah. I’m the screw-up.”

“Addison.” His tone had softened, a sensual, deep caress over my body. Instead of clenching, I opened my legs to him. “You’re not a screw-up. Not to me.”

His hand slid under me, lifting me to a sitting position, straddling him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing all of me against him. My chest was crushed against all of his hardness and strength. The ache turned into throbbing agony. I was wet, for him. Only him.

My need for him rose up like an out of control mare, bucking and demanding. I could feel his heartbeat against mine, calm and even. He swelled against me, between my legs. I opened them wider, wanting him inside me. He stiffened, drawing in a sharp breath as my hot center rubbed along his hardness, only two thin pieces of fabric between us.

“Why don’t you trust me to take care of you?” he whispered, dropping his head to my shoulder. He brushed my hair from my shoulders, and pressed a tender kiss to my collarbone. I tilted my head to give him more access to my neck.

I didn’t want to talk. I wanted him to make me feel special, to make me feel like I was somebody. “I’m scared.” The admission forced needed air from my chest, creating a vacuum.

“Am I that scary to you?”

His hand gripped my thighs and pulled me closer to him. His thumbs caressed my inner thighs. The action wound me up tighter. I wondered if I’d explode if he kept doing that.

“I’m just scared.” A small sob escaped me. His hands slid around me, holding me tight.

“What are you scared of?”

Really? We were talking? Now, while I wanted him to rip off my panties and fuck me into oblivion? And yet, I kept talking, spewing out words I’d never dare say aloud if I were sober. “That Simon Giroux will find me, that he’ll kill me. That I’ll end up on the run from all the enemies that Alex made in his life.” I dropped kisses along Murphy’s neck, tasting him, testing him. “That somehow, because I inherited Alex’s money, I am as guilty as Simon Giroux. I’m not good enough to be with you.” Tears began to fall, unbidden, uncontrolled. I barely realized I was crying at all. I clung to Murphy tightly, holding to him like a lifeline.

His lips touched my ear, but instead of kissing it, he whispered, “I will protect you. No one will hurt you, not ever.”

He held me tightly, his fingers skimming up and down my spine. The movement lulled me, calmed me, until I didn’t want to move away, for fear that he would stop. We stayed together like that for what seemed like forever, until I finally cried myself to sleep with the knowledge that this, whatever it was, was over.

~*~*~

Murphy

I lowered Addison back down to the mattress, softly resting her head against the pillow. I wasn’t sure when she’d fallen asleep. She’d cried in my arms for a good thirty minutes before she hiccuped her way into unconsciousness.

I’d never been good with affection, but she brought out a fierce protective urge in me. All I wanted was to make things better for her. If I could, I’d take an assault rifle, march right into Simon Giroux’s home and kill every last one of them hunting for her or trying to hurt her. But even I knew the trouble that would cause. The problem with Giroux Enterprises was that they had high political connections in several countries, which meant the United States couldn’t make a direct move against them without repercussions.

But for Addison, I would have done it. Because she had no idea of what was going to happen to her. Hardy was sure he’d maneuvered her free of it, but her actions had ruined any chance that she’d ever have a normal life again. She had inherited billions of dollars from a known criminal. She’d never be able to walk around freely again, not without looking over her shoulder.

I knew what would happen once the lieutenant got his way. She’d be taken into a protective environment with others like her. She’d vanish from public record. Her parents would never see her again. I clenched my fists. I would never see her again.

I pulled her covers back up around her. I’d seen Urban walking back with her slung over his shoulder. He’d done what he promised and delivered her back to her room safely. But she was drunk and emotional and I hated seeing her that way.

She was stressed. I could see the worry lines, even in sleep. I straightened, looking down at her sleeping form. Tear tracks streaked her face, her cheeks red and blotchy, and the areas beneath her eyes were puffy. She was an ugly crier. Funnily enough, I liked that about her.

I meant it when I told her that I would protect her. Even if I had to protect her from herself, or from my own government. I loved her, but I understood why she was keeping me away. After tonight, I wasn’t going to let her go through any of this alone.

I ran one finger across her cheek as she slept, and smiled. My stomach was all tied up in knots when I looked at her. Was that what love felt like? A combination of nausea and elation. I could handle feeling like this with her. Easy day.

I turned to leave, so I wouldn’t disturb her sleep, or be the creepy guy who watched her sleep, and froze in my tracks. Hardy stood in the doorway. I hadn’t even heard the door open. His arms were crossed, and he leaned easily against the frame.

Shit. How much had he seen?

“She sleeping?” Hardy’s voice was low, barely above a whisper.

I nodded and walked to the door. Hardy didn’t move to let me through and he wasn’t a small guy. He pretty much had the entire doorway blocked. I was not going to let him make me feel guilty for being with Addison. I met his eyes, my body tensing on instinct. I didn’t know if he was going to punch me right then or not.

“Good. She needs it. She still has a lot of healing to do.” His pointed look at me wasn’t lost. “Let’s talk… next door.” He jerked his head toward the empty office next door. He turned and walked out. I shut Addison’s door behind me and followed him to the next room.

Hardy was pacing the length of the room when I came in and shut the door behind me. I felt bad for deceiving him, for not telling him I’d fallen in love with his sister. And the sheer fury on his face when I shut the door confirmed to me that he’d evidently seen enough to guess that there was something more than friendship between us.

“Chris—”

“Are you fucking my sister?”

“Ooookay. We’re getting the accusations out early.” I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t want to use crude terms when it came to Addison. She wasn’t just a fuck. “It’s not about that.”

“What did I just see? That was not just a friendship thing there. That was the picture of a person with carnal knowledge. What are you doing with carnal knowledge of my sister?” Hardy’s accusing tone darkened with rage.

I sighed. I didn’t have an excuse, nor did I want to give one. I loved her. I wanted her next to me for a long time. But keeping it from Hardy had been wrong. Honest was all I could be. “I don’t know what it is. I… like her, Chris.”

Love, you moron. Tell him you love her.
But I just couldn’t get the words out.

Hardy’s eyes narrowed. I felt as if Chris was stabbing me straight between the eyes. “You don’t know what it is. With my sister. You don’t
know
.”

“I just want to keep her safe.”

“She watched her last boyfriend get shot. Whether I liked the bastard or not..” Hardy said, matter-of-fact and calmly, “…I don’t think she really needs to see that happen again.”

“I know. I care about her.”

Hardy pinched the bridge of his nose, between his eyes, and shook his head. “We don’t have a safe life, Murphy. I don’t want to see her hurt because you died on her.”

“I have no intention of dying anytime soon.” I told him.

“We don’t always have control over that.”

That was true. What was that saying? There’s already a bullet out there with our name on it. We just spend our lives trying to avoid it. Some of us make it, and some of us don’t.

Hardy shook his head, frowning. “I don’t like you near my sister.”

“Really? But you were okay with Alex Giroux.”

“I didn’t know about him.”

Anger reached deep into my belly, turning my stomach. Did he really know Addison at all? She’d never been the type to sit down and take orders. She was a free spirit. If someone ever tried to tell her what to do, it likely guaranteed that she’d do the opposite. It was just who she was.

I rounded on Hardy, stepping into his personal space on purpose, inviting my friend to hit me. Because if he did, I’d feel better about what I was going to say. “Tell me something, Chris. Honestly, now. How many times did you call your sister in the last year?”

“Don’t you fucking try to change the subject!” Hardy took an angry step toward me as well so our chests were almost touching.

But I didn’t move. I’d never backed up from Hardy in my life, not even when I was the scrawny kid, and I wasn’t about to start now. “I’m not changing the subject. I’m proving a point. How many times?”

Hardy stopped, blinking, and his shoulders sagged. “I didn’t. I didn’t want to have to lie to her about work. She’s my sister. She’d have known I was lying.”

“So, you just didn’t call. And that means, your parents probably didn’t call, because they’ve always been hyper focused on you.” It was the one thing that bugged me about their family. Growing up, they’d doted on Chris much more than they had Addison. I’d watched her try to catch their attention. She’d gotten straight A’s, gotten on the cheerleading squad, run for student council and they still focused on her brother.

“My parents love her. They only want the best for her.”

“Yes, but they’ve never really seen her. I don’t think you have either, honestly.”

“You don’t know anything about it, Murphy!”

“Don’t I? How long have we been friends, Chris? And then you’re going to judge her, judge me, because she found comfort with someone who gives her just a little affection when she’s starved for it.” I had never hit my best friend before,  but the more I talked the more I wanted to. Protective urges flared inside my gut, demanding that Hardy pay his penance.

“You’re using her.” He said the words, but the fight had bled from him. The anger in his expression slipped away, followed by anguish. “I don’t want her hurt.”

“She’s using me.” I replied, surprised by the truth in my words. “She wants to feel safe. She’s been terrified of her own life for months. She’s been alone with a man that kills for a living, helping him, and thinking she’s doing the right thing. No one has shown her any affection or love. You know Alex didn’t love her. He used her, and made her a target. She needs love. She craves it.”

Hardy shook his head. “You… love her?”

I paused. Hearing it from Hardy’s lips put a whole new shine on the situation. I did love her. I hadn’t been able to say it out loud to him, but hearing him say it… I nodded. “I do.”

“This isn’t right. You’re… screwing my sister, man! I don’t want her to get hurt. You’re right… she’s been through enough. And if she gets attached to you…”

If only. But Hardy had a point.

“She’s always had a thing for you,” Hardy said. I blinked. “I thought she’d gotten over it, but this just proves that never happened.”

“I don’t want to hurt her. I love her.”

“You didn’t tell her yet, did you? About what LT said?”

I swallowed. “No, I didn’t tell her.” That was the real reason I’d hit the gym instead of coming back to her right away. To run the frustration off. To figure out a plan. “She was upset, and I didn’t think it would be good to upset her more by telling her Lt. Nelson has extended her stay here indefinitely. I think that needs to come from her brother, from her family.”

“I know.” Hardy pinched the bridge of his nose. He was as frustrated as I was. “Fuck, I know! Goddamn, Murphy!” Hardy snapped, still taking care to keep his voice down. I didn’t blame him. “What are we going to do?”

“She’s in so deep with Simon Giroux. She’s right, though. He won’t kill her. It’s the others we have to worry about. Nelson’s going to shit a brick if we do this.” His grey eyes, so like his sister’s, flicked toward the closed door.

I nodded. “Yeah, but it’s the only way.”

“So we’re doing this? Getting her out?” Hardy sighed, running his hand down his face. “We’re fucked after this, you know.”

“If we do this right, you’ll be fine. I’ll be the one in trouble. It’s my responsibility.”

“Then we’re both fucked,” Hardy grinned.

“Asshole,” I said, but my heart wasn’t in the insult. I didn’t want to let Addison go on her own, but I recognized this was unfinished business for her. And right now, Giroux would protect her where we couldn’t.

Hardy swiped his hand over his face again. He glanced at me. “Do you make her happy?”

I was startled by the question. “I… think so.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I loved her. I craved her, but I had no idea if I made her happy. We’d had fantastic sex, but I wasn’t about to tell Chris that. He’d murder me.

“Does she love you?”

Yet another question I didn’t know the answer to. She said she did, but did she really? Suddenly, I was feeling very unsure of myself, and exposed.