Wounded (In My Dreams) (3 page)

Not that I thought most people ever felt that way.

Jasper set down his bag as I glanced over my kitchen table, covered in my crap. “The counter okay to eat at?”

“Sure,” he chuckled as he helped me push aside even
more
of my shit, including the dead plants I’d tried so desperately to keep alive.

“Yeah, apparently I don’t have much of an indoor green thumb. But I had a killer vegetable garden at my last place.”

“Not here?”

“No, not at all,” I snickered as I set the food down and pushed out a stool for him. “There’s only one spot on the side of the house where I could have one, and it’s downhill, and I’m not climbing all over the place to plant and pull off vegetables. Plus, it’s all crappy clay and it would take way more energy than I have to clear it out and put in real dirt, plants, besides
weeds
could grow in.”

“I’d help. I love fresh vegetables.”

I shot him a smile as I pulled out a couple of mugs for tea. “Be careful with those offers. I love fresh vegetables too so I’d totally take you up on that.”

“I meant it.”

“Cool. Thanks.” I opened the cabinet with all my teas and knelt down. “Tea would be good for your throat. Is there any kind you like in particular?” I went to glance at him again, and flinched when he squatted down next to me. He looked them over and raised an eyebrow at me. “Yeah, I’m kind of a tea whore. I like a lot a variety and I love trying new things so I always pick up something when I see it and don’t always finish it before I go get something else.”

“Trying new things is good. I’ll trust your judgment. I don’t know what any of this is but I like tea.” He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck. Yeah, that much talking had to hurt.

“Let’s start with Starbuck’s Refresh,” I suggested as I picked out two bags. “I find it helps whatever ails me. Your stomach has to be raw too given you probably haven’t had the most stable diet.”

“No, not even close,” he agreed.

I shrugged as I picked out another one of my favorites, raspberry hibiscus, and stood. “We’ll fix that. Do you have any special dietary needs? Anything you don’t like.”

“I hate beans,” he offered as an answer as he sat down at the counter.

“Me too. I’m allergic to coconut and lemongrass. I’m not sure lemongrass is ever in food, but coconut’s the new fad so it’s everywhere. Please don’t ever bring it in the house. It could kill me.”

“Fair enough.”

I closed the cabinet and grabbed him a bottle of water so he could start eating. He shouldn’t be drinking scalding tea after all. Then I heard some crunching of tacos as I made his tea, my back to him. When I was done and had both mugs with hot water and tea bags soaking, I turned around to see he’d finished off one whole variety pack of
twelve
tacos.

“Well, I guess you’re a growing boy,” I joked, again wanting to smack myself at how stupid I sounded.

“They were great, thanks.”

“Do you want more?”

He shook his head and pushed the full box towards the empty spot on the counter. “Those are yours.”

“Jasper, I’m not really even hungry. And even at my hungriest, there’s no way I could ever eat more than four tacos. Normally I eat two,” I admitted. He blinked at me and I shrugged. “You had to be hungry. I figured you wouldn’t just let me get food for you, so I said I was too. Eat them all if you want so they don’t go to waste.”

“You’re really sweet.”

“No, I’m not,” I snickered as I sat down. He still didn’t touch the box so I sighed and pulled one out. “Here, I’m eating. Save me one more and the rest are yours.”

“You
are
sweet.”

“Okay, well don’t tell anyone that and snitch on me,” I drawled, shaking my head. I took a bite of my taco as he finally started in on the other box. I didn’t think living on the streets was the only factor to his appetite. He was a big guy, six-three and about one ninety even malnourished. I would really need to feed him. “You’re not a vegetarian or anything are you? I grill out a lot in the summer and I don’t know how to make any vegetarian meals besides pancakes.”

He chuckled deeply and held up the taco.

“Right, I’m an idiot.”

“Why do you keep asking me about food?” he hedged, studying me in that same way as if he saw too much, more than I’d want anyone to see at least.

“It’s not because I’m fat,” I blurted, hating myself in that moment for being a moron. “I mean, it’s not like I’m addicted to food and that’s all I think of. I do more than eat. Most meals I actually forget. This is the first time I’ve actually sat down and eaten not at my computer in a while.” I nodded to the kitchen table. “That should prove it. I stand eating most of the time because it’s faster, and by the time I remember to eat, I’m starving.”

He smirked at me, his eyes full of amusement. I took a deep breath and pulled my preverbal foot out of my mouth.

“I’ve not lived with anyone since college,” I admitted with a half shrug. “And most of my visitors come from out of town. I guess I just defaulted to what I normally think of before my mom comes to visit. I go to the store and get food I know she’ll eat, her favorite creamer, her kind of milk, that sort of thing. That’s where my mind went. I don’t want to feed you crap you hate.”

“I’m not a picky eater. I prefer meat.”

“Me too.” I smiled at him until his eyes went wide.
Oh god. I did
not
just make a sexual innuendo like a goober.
“I’d grill burgers tonight but the gas needs to be replaced on the grill and that thing is heavy. I have to drag it all the way from the garage and through the house—”

“I’ll do it. We can have whatever you want, Lily.”

I nodded and took another bite of my taco, trying not to smile at how he said my name. God, I was hopeless.

We finished eating, and Jasper cleaned up, waving me off when I tried to help. He found the garbage and even folded the boxes up for the recycling. I pointed to under the sink when he glanced at me. He stuffed them in there and then wet the washcloth in the sink before wiping the counter to make sure nothing was left.

“Wow, you have better manners than I have,” I muttered as I stood. He chuckled from behind me as I went over to his bag. When I lifted it onto my shoulder, his hand rubbed against my arm as he was suddenly there and took it from me.

A man that big shouldn’t be that quiet. Maybe he was part cat or something?

2

Jasper followed me downstairs, carrying his two mugs of tea I’d forgotten about. I showed him the family room, the big bathroom, and then the guest room.

“At least this room’s picked up. I don’t really use it.”

“You act like you’re a slob,” he chuckled as he set the mugs on the nightstand.

“I’ve been called that.” I shrugged and walked out of the room, heading to the bathroom. I closed the toilet lid and stepped up there so I could reach the shelf with the guest towels. When I turned around, he was standing there watching me. “I don’t keep towels hanging just to get dusty when I don’t have guests. Plus, the shower in the master bath sucks balls, so I shower down here. Sorry. I’ll try and stay out of your way.”

“It’s
your
house,” he reminded me as he took the towels from me.

“Not really. I rent.” I pulled back the shower curtain and winced at the four built-in shelves in two corners of the shower. “Okay, so I don’t have a
lot
of girly stuff, but yeah, I kinda take up residence everywhere. I’ll clear some of this out for your stuff.”

“I don’t have any stuff.”

“Right, yeah—sorry.”

“No, this is great. I can’t tell you the last time I had a real shower. I clean up in gas stations that let me.”

“Oh, that’s what you were doing there today,” I surmised, glancing at him. He nodded and focused on his feet. “I didn’t even think about that. Well, no more of that. I have a big hot water tank so have fun. There’s a razor in there if you want. I—um—don’t have a guy’s one. But I figure it works the same.”

“Probably.”

“I’ll find you something clean to wear if you don’t mind girls’ pants. I have regular T-shirts though.”

“Whatever is great. Thank you.”

I hurried out of there when he set down the towels and started the water. Right, he wanted to shower and no one ever wanted to listen to me ramble.

Not ever.

I headed upstairs to my room and pulled a few T-shirts that would more than fit him off hangers. Then I grabbed two pairs of cotton shorts, wincing when I realized he’d probably have to synch them tight just to keep them on his body. The only pants I had that weren’t jeans that he’d never fit into or yoga pants that didn’t seem to be his style were the men’s Christmas pajama pants I loved to wear when I was bummed.

Or around Christmas.

I picked out a couple of the nicest pairs and hurried back downstairs. I set them on the guest room bed, glad that I’d had the cleaning lady change the sheets a few weeks ago and no one had used them since. Okay, they were rarely used, but still I had her change them once a month. I don’t know why. It just seemed like they could still get nasty and needed to be freshened up from time to time.

Or I was a freak. Six of one, half a dozen of the other probably.

I heard the water shut off and just stood there a moment, not really sure what to do. I mean, I had a man in my house. And he was in my shower. That was definitely something that hadn’t happened in forever. And he was a stranger. I shook my head as I walked out of the guest room. Just as I got to the stairs, the bathroom door opened and Jasper stepped out in nothing but a towel.

I tried not to ogle him, but
damn
he was hot. I cleared my throat and gestured to his face. “So that’s what you look like behind all the beard.”

“Yeah, I won’t miss that,” he chuckled, rubbing his hand over his clean chin.

Neither would I. I mean, he wasn’t bad to look at before, not by any means, but now he was
hot
. I’d already thought that but it needed to be repeated.

“Do you want me to throw your clothes in the laundry?” I offered when we just stood there a few awkward moments.

He shook his head and then glanced in the laundry room right off the hallway. “I can do it. Most of it’s trashed, but it’s not like I’m going to keep taking over your closet.”

“We can get you some new stuff.” I shrugged. As much as I wouldn’t complain about him walking around naked, I wasn’t going to be a cad to the man who’d saved me and I invited to stay with me.

It hadn’t been
that
long since I’d gotten laid. Okay, it had, but I could still control myself for god sakes.

“No, it’s fine. You said I could stay here if I helped out. Clothes weren’t part of the deal.” His voice started sounding painful again so I let it go, knowing full well I wouldn’t listen, but not wanting to argue with him.

“I’ve got laundry to do anyways,” I lied, walking back into the guest room and grabbing his bag. “You should rest. And drink your tea. You voice hurts me it sounds so raw.”

“You’re very mom-like.”

“I’ve been called worse, normally pushing and overbearing, but yeah, I coddle my mom when she’s here and sick. It’s the Polish way. I don’t have any kids though. It’s just me.” I shrugged as I walked into the laundry room. I crouched down and opened the bag, careful not to wince at the smell in case he was watching.

Jasper hadn’t been kidding. All the clothes in there were
toast
. But I still stuffed them in the washer, checking sizes of his shirts, boxers, and the one pair of jeans in there. I set the cycle to heavy duty and hot water before adding the stronger Tide I had over the Woolite detergent. I pushed the bag off to the side, thinking I needed to wash that next.

“Liar,” Jasper drawled as I stood up and turned around. “That was all my clothes.”

“Hey, I do have dirty clothes that could be washed,” I argued, pointing to the dirty hamper I kept in the laundry room since it was right off the shower I used.

He let out a snort and headed to the guest room. I hit the start button of the washer before closing the door to the laundry room and stepping into the hall. It wasn’t that loud but the furnace was so it would be hard for him to catch a nap if the house fan came on.

“Just hang them anywhere?” he asked from the bathroom.

“Yeah, I’m not finicky.” I glanced over my shoulder when I got to the stairs. Jasper only had on the pajama pants, black with candy canes, which just added to the craziness of the situation. “Sleep tight.”

“I will. That bed is awesome.” He smiled widely at me and I just about melted. Damn, he was good-looking. I nodded and hurried up the stairs, heading to my office to check into something.

While Jasper was coming around, he still had some
really
severe reactions to talking to the police, the idea of being in Omaha, and a few other things. I’d known friends with PTSD and Jasper seemed to be a candidate. Whatever had happened in the service somehow turned into him being homeless here. That alone would have someone messed up.