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Authors: Edie Claire

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I smiled and nodded. His foot stayed where it was,
and so did mine.

The doorbell rang, and Matt's father excused himself
to go get it. Playing footsie under the table made me feel like a small child
misbehaving, but the sensation was too pleasant to give up. There was something
to be said for the power of a friendly touch.

"Matt?" the Colonel announced, returning
and taking his seat. "Rod Lee's out front for you."

A dry lump rose in my throat. I swallowed.

Rod? Here now?

"Okay," Matt said matter-of-factly,
swinging his legs out from under the table and rising. He offered a perfunctory
wink in my direction, then headed off toward the front door.

"Excuse me," I mumbled weakly, wiping my
mouth with a napkin. I would have made more explanation, but I had none to
give. I only knew I was going to see what was up, no matter what anyone
thought. Luckily for me, the adults' conversation continued without concern.

Why on earth would Rod confront Matt here? I had
been so sure I had gotten through to him…

Heart pounding, I swept through the folds of shadow
fat engulfing the only route out of my chair, and followed Matt as he went out
the open door and stepped onto his front lawn.

Rod was waiting on the sidewalk, hands in his
pockets, one foot idly kicking a small stone off the concrete and onto the
grass. He was dressed in nice jeans and a school jersey; his hair was neatly
combed.

"Hey, man," he said casually.

"Hey," Matt returned, his own tone
slightly stiffer.

My eyes darted nervously from one to the other. I
was still standing in the doorway; if Rod noticed me there, he gave no
indication of it. And if Matt's dad hadn't announced the name, I might not
recognize him, either. The burning anger I had felt from him so acutely last
night was gone, and its absence had changed his entire aura. Although I was
sure he was still awash with emotion, there was nothing left that I could feel.
I could read him no better, or worse, than I could anyone else.

"Hey, uh…" Rod continued uncomfortably.
"You might hear some stuff about last night. I was pretty messed up. You
know—about Sofia."

My body tensed. I didn't know what Rod was up to,
but I didn't like the fact that his hands were hidden in his pockets. Still, he
seemed… well, calm.

He took an exaggerated breath. "I know you
didn't have nothing to do with it," he said seriously, looking Matt
straight in the face. Then his lips twisted into a smirk. "Should have
known that all along. Wuss like you couldn't beat up a fourth grader."

"Wouldn't be fair," Matt quipped, his tone
even. "Not since second grade, anyway."

Rod's smirk deepened. "I just wanted to make
sure we were cool, you know?"

I couldn't see Matt's expression. But I was proud of
his words.

"Sure, man. We're cool."

Rod's face broke, unaccountably, into the faintest
of genuine smiles. The effect was transforming; he looked like another person
entirely from the knife-wielding maniac of last night. This Rod was rational.
This Rod also was, now that I had the inclination to notice, quite devilishly
cute.

"Awright," he returned, taking a step
closer to Matt and extending his arm in the air. The guys didn't shake,
though—what followed was some weird, football player thing that started with
fists and ended with a shoulder bump, one-half the force of which would have
sent me sprawling into the grass.

My eyes rolled.
Guys
.

"Hey, Kalia," Rod said offhandedly,
noticing me for the first time—or maybe not—in the doorway. I stepped out onto
the lawn beside Matt, intrigued by his use of my whole name. Being a local, he
must have heard it before and assumed it from my nickname. I liked the sound of
it.

"Didn't expect to see you here," he
continued, glancing sideways at Matt. "But whatever. Look, what you said…
about that number?"

The domestic abuse hotline? I nodded.

"I looked it up and gave it to Sofia's mom.
She's going to try to get her to call."

I felt a flush of warmth. "That's
fabulous," I said sincerely. "I hope it helps."

Rod's dark eyes met mine, and in their depths I
could see a flicker of gratitude—a gratitude that would go unspoken. That was
fine by me.

An awkward silence followed. Rod took a step back.
"Well, that's all, man," he said, his attention back on Matt.
"Later."

"Later," Matt returned.

We watched as Rod walked away down the street. There
was no Mustang in sight. "Does he live near here?" I asked.

"About a half mile that way," Matt said,
tossing his head to the west. Then he looked down at me and smiled. The subject
of Rod, I knew, was already off his mind.

He pulled me into a quick bear hug—an undemanding,
comforting gesture that felt so good my eyes watered. It lasted for only a
second or two, but I didn't want it to end. Maybe just because I had had such
an emotional day, and any strong arms would do. Maybe because I was so
frustrated at not being able to comfort Zane the same way. Or maybe, because I
cared about Matt for his own sake.

I honestly had no idea.

Matt released me, but kept one arm loosely around my
shoulders. We were still standing in front of his house with the door wide
open, and he made no attempt to kiss me. Given my present state of mind, I was
grateful.

"Been wanting to do that all evening," he
said lightly. "So… you're coming back into Honolulu tomorrow to see a
house?"

I nodded. My eyes were still watery, and I didn't
entirely trust my voice. But Matt didn't seem to notice.

"I tell you what," he continued.
"I've got dibs on the car tomorrow. How about if I come up to the North
Shore and pick you up… say, around noon? We can do lunch, and I can show you a
few more things around Honolulu. Then I'll take you to meet your parents at the
house. I'd do dinner instead, but I have practice tomorrow night. What do you
say?"

His arm around my shoulders was warm and solid, his
blue eyes optimistic and sincere. A couple more hours of Honolulu sightseeing
did sound like fun, and I had no good reason not to go. No reason except a
creeping, uneasy feeling that lay somewhere between guilt and fear of impending
doom.

Neither made any sense to me. Both my mind and my
heart were all over the place, and I stood there, not answering, like a total
flake. Only this time I couldn't blame the belching Buddha.

Matt looked at me for a moment, waiting patiently
for an answer. Then he hugged me to his side and dropped a kiss on the top of
my hair. "You can think about it for a while if you want to," he said
easily. "No pressure." He dropped his arm and turned as if to walk
back into the house.

I stopped him with a hand on his wrist, my stupid
eyes getting watery again. "I don't need to think about it," I
answered. "Tomorrow sounds great."

 

Chapter 20

 

I knew my mother planned to corner me. It was only a
matter of when and where. The when turned out to be as soon as we reached the
condo and my father headed into the bathroom for a shower. The where turned out
to be the deck, on which I was pacing anxiously, searching for Zane.

"All right, Kali," she began, closing the
doors behind her and seating herself at the table. "Let's have it. I don't
know why you've been so secretive lately, but it's not like you, and that
worries me. You've met somebody here on the beach, haven't you? Somebody you'd
rather your father and I didn't know about?"

I drew in a deep breath. My mind turned cartwheels.
I had been thinking all day about what I could say to her, and I hadn't come up
with a thing. But her theory—which, for the record, was amazingly accurate—provided
a helpful idea. "I told you I met some other kids my age who were
tourists," I began carefully. "Up at Turtle Bay. I've enjoyed hanging
out with them because they're fun; they make me laugh. But they're… not like my
usual friends."

I was doing well. If you forgave my inaccurate use
of the plural, it was almost all true. Which was fortunate, because I was a
whole lot better at white lies than bald-faced ones.

"And why not?" my mother inquired.
"What's so terrible about them that you felt like you couldn't tell
us?"

A tougher question.

I bit my lip.

Sweet inspiration
. "Some of the things
they do are… well… dangerous," I explained, picturing in my mind Zane's
balancing act on the tail of the glider. I felt a strong urge to smile, but
squelched it. "Not that I ever did anything dangerous—you know me, I'm a
total wuss around the water."

Whoops. A partial lie. Zane did send me in the ocean
after that toddler…

"What are we talking about, Kali?" my
mother interrupted. "Drinking? Drugs? Something else illegal?"

"No," I said, immediately wishing I
hadn't. If I had any sense I would let her make up her own story. "I mean,
nothing like that around me. But they're just not the type of people…"

My heart suddenly skipped a beat. Zane was on the
deck, standing behind my mother. He was filmy and only partially solid, but he
was
here
.

"Let's just say if I had a daughter my age, I
wouldn't want her hanging around with them," I finished, releasing a
pent-up breath with a whoosh. I wanted to throw a Zane secret
I don't mean
you
look, but couldn't take the risk.

"Then maybe you shouldn't be hanging out with
them," my mother suggested mildly.

"Probably not," I agreed. "But it's
really not an issue anymore. They're leaving tomorrow."

The words passed my lips on a wave of sadness so
fierce it nearly caused my knees to buckle.
Please, no. I didn't mean that
about you, either.

My mother stood up. "Well, that's good to hear,
I guess," she said, sounding anything but settled. "It seemed to me
like you and Matt were getting along well tonight. Wouldn't it make more sense
to hang out with him and his friends, who you might actually go to school with
next year?"

"Of course," I agreed, relief setting in.
I was going to get out of this mess after all. Amazing. "I told you, Matt
and I are going out again tomorrow."

"Yes, I know," she said, still looking at
me somewhat suspiciously. She took a step toward the doors, then turned.
"Do you like him, Kali?" she asked, her emphasis on the word
"like" making her meaning clear.

My eyes caught hers, and it occurred to me that up
to now, I hadn't really looked straight at her. I wondered if she had noticed
that. I wondered if I was really getting away with everything I thought I was.

"I'm not sure, Mom," I said honestly.
"Right now, I really just don't know."

My mother smiled. But it was a smallish, sad little
smile. "Okay, Kali," she said heavily. "We can talk more later,
if you want. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mom."

She walked into the condo and closed the doors after
her, and I sunk down into one of the patio chairs.

Quite suddenly, I was exhausted.

"An Oscar-worthy performance," Zane said
without humor, slipping into the chair opposite me. His expression was grave.

"What do you mean?" I said, irritated by
his downer tone even as I was, in fact, deliriously happy to see him again.
"I didn't really even have to lie… much."

"You shouldn't have to lie at all."

I took a good look at him. He looked terrible. Aside
from the fact that he was so translucent I could make out the features of his
chair through the majority of his torso, his hair was an unruly mess and he was
wearing slacker clothes again—a gray hoody and baggy sweats. On another guy the
look might be grungy and unattractive, but Zane could look good wearing trash
bags. What bothered me far more was the morose expression on his
flickering-solid face.

"What's wrong with you?" I demanded, my
heart beginning to race again. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened. Nothing earth-shattering,
anyway. I remembered some more, but I wasn't really trying."

He looked up at me, catching my gaze firmly with
his. "Kali, there's something I’d like you to do for me. After… well,
after I'm gone."

I didn’t want to think about that. I couldn't.

"What's that?" I asked, trying to lighten
my own tone. Knowing, even as I asked, that I would do anything for him.

He continued to hold my gaze. "I want you to
tell your parents the truth. About your gift."

My eyes widened. "About my
gift
?" I
sputtered. "Are you crazy? I told you, I could never do that! It would
kill them. It would kill me!"

He leaned forward. "I understand what happened
before," he said earnestly. "You were a child, and your parents were
frightened. But can't you see that things are different now? You're practically
an adult. You're well adjusted in every way. Do you really think that if you
told your parents the truth, they would believe that you were mentally ill?
Please, Kali. Give them some credit. If you explain
everything
,
including how you lied on purpose back then just to make everyone stop worrying
about you, they'll believe you now. How could they not? They know you're smart,
they know you're sane. But they've seen for themselves how you react when
you're in a place with strong emotions attached. They'll put it all together,
and they'll know you're telling the truth. They may not understand it any
better than you do, but they'll
believe
you, Kali. And they can help
you."

I pushed back my chair and stood up. I couldn't
believe he was laying all this on me now. How dare he try to fix
me!

"Help me?" I repeated angrily. "How
can anyone help me?"

Zane stood up with me, bending down to make his face
level with mine—still holding my gaze, not giving an inch.

"By listening to you!" he thundered.
"By being there for you to talk to. By letting you know that you're not
crazy, and you're not alone. By stopping you from having to lie to everyone you
love every day for the rest of your life!"

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