Wrangling the Cowboy's Heart (10 page)

She laughed, resting her elbows on the table, looking genuinely interested. “Tell me.”

“I'm renting it right now. As for what I plan to do with it, I think I'll save that for when you come over to visit.”

She looked as if she was about to say more when Finn heard someone calling his name.

Brooke came walking toward them carrying a stack of papers. “Do you have a minute?” she asked, looking at Jodie, then him.

He was about to say no, but didn't have a chance. Brooke just barreled on.

“I'm so stuck,” she said. “I was supposed to make decorations for the church festival, but Anita ducked out on me. I can't find anyone to help. Abby is busy taking pictures. Keira, whom I can usually count on, is too pregnant. Heather is gone all next week.” She pushed her hair back with one hand. “Do you know anyone?”

Finn looked at Jodie, disappointed that Brooke didn't even glance her way. Brooke was one of the kindest people he knew and probably didn't intentionally freeze her out. But he saw from the way Jodie looked down that she might have felt the unintended slight.

“What about you, Jodie? Would you be willing to help?” he asked.

“She probably doesn't have the time,” Brooke protested.

“Actually, I do have time,” Jodie said, surprising him and Brooke, too, judging from the way her eyes widened. “What do you need help with?”

“Um, well...are you sure?” she stammered.

“Yes. Just give me a glue gun or sewing machine. I'm sure I can't mess it up too badly.” Jodie's smile seemed false, and as Finn glanced from the one woman to the other, he felt a tension between them. He had noticed the same awkwardness when Brooke had come to the church. At that time he had chalked it up to the kiss he and Jodie had just shared.

But now he wasn't sure. It seemed as if something else was going on.

“Okay. I guess that could work. Can you come Monday?”

“Sounds good.”

“Will you need me?” Finn asked.

“Not until we're ready to set up, which I wanted to do on Thursday, the day before the actual concert.” Brooke turned her attention back to him, but Finn could tell by the way she wrinkled her nose that she was uncomfortable.

“I'll need to check my schedule, but I should be able to make it.” This concert cut deeply into his horse training time, but, he had to admit, so did spending time with Jodie. And training her horses didn't get him any income, either.

But as he glanced over at her, he knew it was well worth it.

“I'll leave you two alone, then,” Brooke said, clutching her papers to her chest, her expression confused as she looked over at Jodie. Then she left.

Finn watched her leave, surprised to see George standing outside the kitchen, doing the same. He retreated back to his domain, whistling.

“Looks as if things are on again between those two lovebirds,” Finn said, turning back to Jodie. But she wasn't looking at him; she was looking out the window, following Brooke's progress down the street. “So how do you and Brooke know each other? You didn't go to school here.”

“I saw her off and on over the summers. She was friends with Keira, and Keira would hang out with Lauren and Erin.” He saw a glimpse of sorrow in Jodie's face. “Part of a past I don't want to talk about,” she said.

The determined tone of her voice told him he wasn't getting any more out of her. He also knew he didn't have the right to push for more information.

But if she kept all these secrets, how was he to get to know her better? How were they supposed to get anywhere in this relationship?

And could he even call what they had now a relationship?

Chapter Eleven

“S
o here's my share, tip included,” Jodie said, pushing some bills across the table.

Finn looked at her as if she had given him something contagious. Then he shoved the money away. “Take this back right now,” he said with a note of disgust.

Jodie laughed as she pushed it back at him. “Seriously. I want to pay my share.”

“I'm sure you do, but I don't want you to.” He ignored it, got up and walked to the front counter before she could say anything more.

She grinned, pocketed some of the bills and left a few behind for her own tip. She'd worked as a waitress enough to appreciate how welcome a good tip was. She suspected Finn would tip as well, so Allison would be well paid by them.

She joined him at the counter while George rang up their order. The tall, lanky man was smiling, another surprise. He used to run the diner with his father, and Jodie remembered a sulky twenty-year-old who looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else but in Saddlebank.

She had always identified with him.

“Have a fantastic evening,” George chirped as they left. “Thanks for choosing the Grill and Chill.”

Clearly he was in a good mood, and Jodie wondered if it had anything to do with Brooke's visit.

While they were inside the diner, the sun had dipped below the mountains and dusk had fallen over the town. The streetlights were beginning to glimmer on. Jodie felt a sense of settling down, as if pulling a blanket around oneself, getting ready for the evening.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” she asked. “Down to the river? I haven't been there in ages.”

“That'd be great. Hopefully I won't have to bust up a party there,” Finn said.

Jodie caught his grin, but behind that came a surge of shame at the thought of all the parties she'd attended farther down the path.

They walked past her car to the end of the street, then turned left toward the river. The street curved, and soon they arrived at the walking trail the Chamber of Commerce had set up in a bid to get more tourists to Saddlebank.

Jodie lifted her face to the sky, letting the cool breeze coming off the water wash over her.

“Did you miss this place? When you were away?” Finn asked.

She glanced sidelong at him, then nodded. “Knoxville was home, in a way, but my first recollections are of the ranch and this town.” She laughed. “In fact, when I stopped by Mercy Park, I had a good memory of me and my family. Eating ice cream there with my mom and dad. Laughing.”

“Just one memory?”

The question in his voice bothered her. “For now.”

“Was it that hard? Coming here every year?”

“I guess every year I hoped it would be different, but it wasn't. In fact, the last few years it was harder than ever. I know I wasn't the best daughter, but it's hard to build a relationship when you are constantly being told what a horrible person you are.” Jodie's voice faltered and Finn slipped his arm around her.

She wanted to pull away. Everything she said broke down another bit of Finn's esteem of her father.

“Was it always bad? Your relationship with him?”

She sensed another underlying question in his voice.

Was he truly that bad or is it just your skewed idea of the relationship?

Jodie held Finn's gaze and tried to see the situation through his eyes. Party girl who was out and about every night. Solid, dependable man who was part of the community. A sheriff who was good at his job.

Doubt shimmered in the back of her mind and she tamped down the temptation to tell Finn everything. She doubted he would believe her and she couldn't stand to see that on his face.

“Anyway, that was a good memory.”

“I'm glad you're remembering some good ones,” he said.

“Maybe after two months here I might remember more.”

“Or make a few more,” Finn said.

She gave him a sidelong glance, disconcerted to see him looking at her, his expression intent. She felt hope and possibilities building up in her chest.

“Always good to have those.”

They walked along in silence, Finn's presence comforting and appealing at the same time. Then, after a few moments, he stopped. She turned toward him, anticipation thrumming through her.

“I don't think I told you how beautiful you look today,” he said, stroking her hair away from her cheek, fingering her earring.

Jodie couldn't stop the blush warming her face. “Can't hear that too much, I guess.”

“I could say it again, if you want.”

She just smiled, knowing that asking would make her seem vain.

“I know there's something else I'd like to say again.” He paused a moment. “Come to church with me.”

“Church? I don't know...” In spite of her hesitation, she held the idea, testing it.

“I know you used to go,” he continued. “I'm sure that something, in all those years, stuck. Some glimmer of God and of how He sees you?”

“Well, that's part of the problem. I'm not sure how God sees me.”
God and the rest of Saddlebank
, she thought, remembering how Amy Bernstein had spoken to her.

“Come and find out,” Finn urged. “At least come and sing some songs. I know you love music.”

This meant a lot to him. Finally, she conceded. “Okay. I can do that.”

Finn wrapped both his arms around her. “Great. And then lunch at my place.”

Her heart fluttered at the thought. Suddenly things seemed to be moving quickly. She was just catching her balance in this new place she had come to.

But as she looked up at him, saw the hope in his expression, she knew her attending church was important to him. Right now, she didn't want any more barriers to their relationship.

She grew still, her heart slowing.

Was that what was happening? Did she dare think that far?

Then Finn stroked her hair, as if easing away her questions.

She had to let go for now, she reminded herself. Just take it one step at a time.

“Sure, I'll come to church and then to your place,” she said. “How could I miss out on the chance to have a deputy sheriff cook for me?”

“Cook might be a stretch. But I know how to handle a frying pan.”

Jodie laughed and nodded. “This I've got to see,” she said.

“I look forward to amazing you.”

Then, to her surprise and pleasure, he bent and brushed a sweet, gentle kiss over her lips.

She felt her heart quicken, but then a tiny whisper of concern flitted through her mind.

Be careful. You don't know what lies ahead.

* * *

Finn stood in the foyer of the church, his anticipation growing as the doors opened, then sinking again when a husband, wife and two children entered. The clock over the elevator told him that in two minutes he would have to go into the service by himself.

He checked his disappointment. He had been so sure she would show up. Though he knew it would be difficult for her, he had hoped Jodie would come to church anyway and find some comfort.

And maybe, just maybe, she could find her way to forgiving her father.

The door opened and this time he saw the silhouette of a young woman, but it was only Brooke. She gave him a brief greeting, hurrying past him to the stairs leading to the basement, carrying a large plastic tub full of colorful paper. He guessed she was teaching Sunday school to the youngsters this morning.

When he heard the singing group starting up, he knew it was time to go. He pushed down his own disappointment, trying to be understanding. He had time, he reminded himself. Jodie wasn't leaving for at least another month or so.

The thought made his stomach churn. They weren't there yet, and if he were honest with himself, he still had some concerns. But for now, he was willing to see where things went.

Just before he turned to walk into the sanctuary, he saw a head of dark hair, a flash of purple, and then there she was.

“Hey there,” he said, happiness suffusing him when Jodie walked up to him.

She wore her hair loose, flowing over the shoulders of a bright purple sleeveless dress shot through with shining threads. Over her shoulders she had thrown a gauzy scarf edged with silver. Hoops hung from her ears, matching the silver shoes she wore.

She looked exotic and beautiful.

“I like your dress.”

“Mumbai,” she whispered, glancing nervously around the now empty foyer. “Am I too late?”

“Just on time,” Finn said, offering his arm.

She took it, smiling, and together they walked up the stairs and into the church sanctuary.

The usher led them to an empty spot, and as Finn stood aside for Jodie to enter, he saw her falter. He glanced down the pew, wondering what had made her hesitate.

Amy Bernstein was looking at them, her brow furrowed.

Finn remembered what Jodie had told him about her relationship with Amy and her daughter.

But there was nothing he could do now. He glanced over at Jodie, who to his surprise lifted her head and gave Amy a cool smile. The woman's frown deepened and she looked away.

Finn noticed the flush on Jodie's cheeks, and he prayed that Amy's seeming disapproval didn't take away from the service for her.

Then he looked over at Jodie and felt it again. That peculiar connection holding her to him. He knew on one level he had to be careful, but he couldn't deny how he felt about her.

Then the singing group started a new song, encouraging everyone to stand and join them.

As they did, Jodie leaned over to whisper in Finn's ear. “Can't believe my aunt is okay with drums and guitars in church.”

Finn caught her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Your aunt is cooler than you realize.”

“Clearly,” Jodie said, adding a grin. Then she joined in the singing, her voice tentative at first, but then as she caught the tune, clear and melodious.

Finn watched her, hope whispering in his heart.

They sat down and the pastor invited them to open their Bibles to Psalm 32.

“‘Therefore let all the faithful pray to You while You may be found, surely the rising of the mighty waters will not reach them. You are my hiding place, You will protect me from trouble...'” These words were familiar to Finn. He'd clung to them when he was alone, waiting yet again for his mother to come home. Words he'd wrapped himself in after Denise's death. He prayed regularly that God would be his hiding place and protection.

Because the reality was his mother was never around. Always gone. And Keith had become his protection.

Finn wondered if Jodie would ever understand what his life had been like. In spite of the difficulties she'd had, there had always been someone around for her. Either her grandmother or her father.

It wasn't until Keith had come into his life that Finn had felt the same sense of being taken care of that he had before his father died.

As he glanced at Jodie, he prayed that she, too, would come to know that the Lord's unfailing love would surround her, as well. That she could think of positive things about her father.

Then he felt her slip her hand into his and he squeezed lightly.

She was here, with him, in church.

It was a start. He just had to pray that she wouldn't hurt him.

Because the reality was he was growing more and more attached to her. The idea both excited and frightened him at the same time.

She had let him down once before, had let her father down.

Would she do it again?