Wrecked (Clayton Falls) (11 page)

I didn’t respond right away. I finished getting washed up and slipped into bed with a book. I never had time to read anymore, but I needed a distraction.

Finally, when my eyes got heavy, I put my mystery down on the bed stand and picked up my phone.
You didn’t react like an idiot. You reacted like most guys would. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
I wanted to add more, but I didn’t.

He responded right away, like he was sitting with the phone.
How about the second chance?

I wanted to say yes. If I was just thinking of myself I’d say it in a heartbeat, but I had Noah to think about. Could I really get involved with a guy who reacted the way he did?
I don’t think so. There are plenty of less complicated girls out there. Have fun.

I don’t want uncomplicated. I want you.

My stomach knotted when I saw the words. Why did it matter so much to me that he wanted me?
I want you too, but it’s not just me.

How old is Noah?

I smiled. He remembered his name.
Almost two.

He didn’t reply. Instead, my phone rang. I hesitated but decided to pick it up. “Hi, Jake.”

“Hi, Emily. I wanted to hear your voice.”

“I see.” I leaned back against my pillows, enjoying the familiar feel of my childhood bed.

“So almost two…that’s cool.”

I smiled. “Yes, very cool.”

“I like his name. Did you name him after the guy in the bible?”

I laughed. “The guy in the bible? I suppose every Noah is named after him in a way, but that’s not what I was thinking.”

“So you picked it?”

“Yes. His father wanted to name him Ted, but I won.”

“Oh. I like Noah better. I guess you have better taste than his dad.”

“Maybe.” I had a feeling this was Jake’s way of getting me to talk about Noah’s father. I didn’t want to, but holding it back wouldn’t help anything. “Noah’s never met his dad.”

“Oh…that sucks.”

“It does. Tim died in Afghanistan a few months after Noah was born.” I could still remember hearing the news. I felt like I’d been pulled under by a wave. How was I supposed to raise Noah alone? But then another side of me was relieved, and I felt horrible for feeling that way. Austen was right about me liking to see the best in people, because I never accepted that Tim’s anger issues were more than a short temper until I was already pregnant. I didn’t find out about the gambling until after he died.

“Afghanistan? He was in the military?”

“Yes. But before you start calling him a hero—he wasn’t. Or at least not before. He only joined because it was that or jail.”

“Jail? Geez…”

“Yeah. He had a crazy temper.” I was glad we were having this conversation on the phone because it was easier, but I wished I could see Jake’s face. I needed to know how he was reacting. “He got in some bar fight.”

“Oh?”

“All I know is that it had something to do with him smashing a guy’s head through a table.”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this…”

“No. It’s good. Or not good, but better than I thought.”

“What did you think?”

“I thought maybe his dad was back home and you were always planning to go back to see him. Like you used me or something.”

“Used you? Because girls use you for sex all the time?” I thought about what Mel had said about his reputation. Maybe it wasn’t so far off.

I expected him to laugh but he didn’t. “Ordinarily I wouldn’t have cared, but I do care. I don’t want to be a guy you had a one night stand with.”

“It can’t be more.”

“Why not? You made it sound like you wanted it to be. That note you left sure hinted at it.”

I heard rustling and wondered if he was in bed. I wanted to be in that bed. “I can’t believe I wrote that. I can’t believe I slept with you.”

“I can. I relive it in my dreams.”

“You aren’t ready to deal with someone like me. You have enough to worry about.”

“So this is about me? This isn’t about you?” He sounded defensive. I couldn’t blame him.

“It’s about Noah. It’s about what’s best for him.”

“And it’s bad for him if you date me?” The way he asked made me think he didn’t really want to hear my answer.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “I need to make a stable life for him.”

“So you’re just going to stop dating until he’s eighteen?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does he like to watch football?”

“Football? He’s not even two.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s too young. Does he like junk food and crowds?”

I laughed lightly. “Yes, I guess so.”

“If you’re not working Friday, would you guys want to come to Clayton Falls? It’s the first home game I’m coaching.”

“Come to your game? That’s the date you want?”

“I’ll take you both out for ice cream afterward.” I could picture him smiling as he said it.

“Even if you don’t win?”

He laughed. “We’ll win, but either way you two get ice cream.”

I thought about it. Noah might like the game, and I’d get Mel to come. I missed Friday night football games. My brother played and I was at every game. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Enjoy the rest of your time at home.”

“I’ll try. Have a good weekend.”

“Whoa. Not so fast. You’ll try? Don’t you like visiting home?”

Great. Why did I have to say that? “Maybe I just miss you.”

He laughed. “I know that’s a complete lie, but I’ll pretend it isn’t. Good night, Emily.”

“Good night, Jake.”

I hung up and replaced the phone beside me. I was far too antsy to sleep. I peeked in at Noah. He was peaceful and sleeping away. I went back to my bed and lay awake. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of Jake—again.

I’m not sure why I invited them to the game. I could have come up with a better suggestion, but at the time it seemed smart. I knew the kid was young, but most boys liked watching sports, right?

Texting Emily had been an impulse—but calling took a lot more nerve. I never chased girls. They either came to me, or I forgot about them. Of course, there was the stupid thing I did to Ben and Molly, but that had more to do with jealousy than trying to get a girl. Maybe I was delusional, but sitting back and waiting was usually a good plan. I’d never had a problem getting girls, and I’d never played their games. That was for pathetic guys who were desperate. Maybe I was desperate.

Emily wasn’t going to come to me. If I wanted her, I was going to have to do the work. It may have taken a few days, but eventually I realized I liked her too much to stay away. My biggest worry was that she wouldn’t want me around Noah, but that was for her to decide. I had to at least try.

As soon as she said my name, I knew it was worth the effort. I had to see her again. The question was how I was going to convince her of the same thing.

I hung up with her on a mission. She said she might come to the game. If she did, I’d have to make sure I made the right impression. I had no idea how to make that happen. I needed advice, and there was only one person I wanted to ask. I only had one female friend, and she was back in Boston finishing up law school.

Becca picked up on the first ring. “Hey, Jake. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Did I wake you up?” I glanced at my watch. It was eleven thirty, still early for a Friday night.

“Nope. We’re up.”

I heard some mumbling in the background. I laughed. I’d definitely woken Gavin up. I had no problem with that. There was no love lost between her boyfriend and I, but he made her happy.

“Good.”

“How are you feeling? I’ve been so worried.”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the flowers and card, by the way.”

“Of course. I wish we could have been there.” I didn’t doubt it. Becca really cared.

“It’s fine.”

“Okay. So what’s going on?”

“I need girl advice.”

“Really? Ohh, this is going to be so good. Hold on a sec.” She tried to muffle the phone but I heard her talking to Gavin. “I don’t want to keep you up. I’ll go talk in the other room.” I’m guessing he said something like, “don’t take too long,” because she continued, “Jake’s never asked for girl advice, I have to talk to him.”

I heard her moving around, and waited as patiently as I could.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“What exactly did you need to get ready?”

“A sweatshirt and a glass of water.”

“Okay…because that’s not random.”

“Do you want to make fun of me, or do you want advice?”

I could practically see her glaring at me. “Advice.”

“Good. Now what’s up? Who’s the lucky girl?”

I sat back against the couch. “Her name’s Emily, and she’s incredible. Absolutely, incredible.”

“Incredible meaning the sex is good or…”

“Seriously? That’s the first question you’re going to ask me?”

“Okay. Good. That response means it’s more than that. Keep going.”

“Like I said, she’s incredible. In bed and out.”

“Jake.”

“Okay, you started it. So things were going great until she dropped a bomb on me and I didn’t exactly have the response she wanted.”

“What kind of bomb?” Becca’s voice got kind of high. She was probably on the edge of her seat.

“She has a kid.”

“Wow.”

“Wow? Is that all you’ve got?”

“It’s just surprising. Is she older or…”

I yawned. Either I was getting old, or it was an after effect of the accident, but I got tired so much earlier than I used to. “She’s twenty-one.”

“How old is her kid?”

“Almost two. She had him young.”

“How did you react? Or do I not want to know?”

I ran a hand through my hair. I didn’t want to repeat this again. “Not well. But how could I have acted? It was surprising.”

“But you’re still interested?”

“Very. I don’t care whether she has a kid. I like her.”

“Do you know anything about the dad?”

“He’s dead.”

She didn’t say anything for a second. “Oh…wow.”

“Yeah. Wow.”

“Does she know about what happened?”

“She was my nurse.”

“You picked up your nurse? Are you kidding me? Wait. Scrap that. It doesn’t surprise me at all. But that means she knows about you drinking and driving. You’re going to have to work extra hard then.”

“Extra hard?”

“To convince her you’re mature enough to be with her. You have to be the man she needs for herself and her son.”

“What, like be his daddy?”

“No, Jake.” She sighed. “But no mom wants an overgrown adolescent around her child. Does that make sense?”

“I guess. But how do I show her I’m mature?”

“Be patient, be respectful and be what she needs.”

“How do I know what she needs?” I put my feet up on the ottoman.

“You need to figure that out.”

“How?”

“Jake?” A gruff, pissed off voice took over.

“Hi, Gavin.”

“Do you realize it’s almost midnight?”

“Yes.” I held back the snicker that wanted to come out.

“I think it’s time you said good night to my girlfriend.”

Before I could respond, I heard Becca. “Give me the phone.” I could just picture Becca pouting.

“Sorry about him.”

“As much as it pains me to say this, he’s right. I’ve kept you up enough. Thanks for the advice.”

“No problem. Call anytime.”

“Thanks. Have a good one.”

“You too, and good luck. It might be hard, but if she’s really as great as you say she is, it’s worth it. Love’s worth it.”

“Love’s worth it? Maybe if the law school thing doesn’t work out you can get a job at Hallmark.”

“Shut up, Jake.”

“Now that’s the way to end a conversation. Bye, Becca.”

I hung up and decided I might as well get some sleep.

Noah had a hard time leaving my mom. It shouldn’t have surprised me at all, but I found myself torn by his reaction to being buckled into his car seat. I was thrilled he’d gotten so close to his grandmother, but I also felt jealous that he’d built that bond with someone when I wasn’t there. It made no sense, and I pushed myself to focus on the good part.

“We’ll be home in a few hours.” I glanced back at him in the rearview mirror. He looked so comfortable, holding a dinosaur toy in each hand. It felt so much more normal having him back there. Driving around without a car seat in the back had felt strange.

“Home.” That was a new word for him. He hadn’t been talking much, but his pediatrician assured me he was on the normal pace.

“Your room is all ready for you.”

He smiled, and I hoped the ride would go quickly.

We pulled into the garage and took the elevator up to my apartment. We had a two bedroom, but his bedroom was pretty tiny. I figured it wasn’t a big deal considering how young he was—but I think every mom just wants to give their kid more.

Thankfully, Noah woke up when the car stopped. It would be hard enough to lug our bags up holding his hand. I couldn’t have done it while holding him. We finally reached our door and I set everything down to unlock it. Just as I was about to push the door open, Noah took off running down the hall.

“Noah!”

He turned and laughed before continuing his run. I caught up with him and picked him up. I’d almost forgotten how fast he was. Eventually, I got Noah and all of our stuff inside.

I made lunch, Noah’s favorite Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, before collapsing on the couch while he played with his toys. At least they were exciting again after he’d been away for so long. I’d give him the new ones I bought when the novelty wore off.

***

The lot at Clayton Falls High School was nearly full when we pulled in. I found a spot and immediately dialed Mel. She’d come to town earlier to catch up with some friends. She picked up on the first ring. “Are you here?”

“Yeah. In the parking lot.” I looked out the window at the swarms of people all wearing red. My high school color was also red, so in a weird way I felt right at home even though I didn’t know anyone.

“I’ll walk back toward you. See you in a sec.”

I walked around and unbuckled Noah. He struggled in my arms, preferring to walk, but it was way too crowded for that. I slowly made my way over to the entrance.