Writ on Water (2 page)
Authors: Melanie Jackson
Do you own golf clubs, Thomas Kincaid prints, or The Bee Gees' Greatest Hits?
   Yes
   No
Does your state of residence have the death penalty?
   Yes
   No
Do you live in Salt Lake City, Bangor, Duluth, or anywhere in California or Hawaii?
   Yes
   No
Are you a member of PETA, a country club, or the Republican Party?
   Yes
   No
Part 2
For every “yes” in this section, give yourself 1 point. For every “no,” subtract 1 point.
Do you play a musical instrument?
   Yes
   No
(If you play harpsichord, bagpipes, zither, cello, castanets or the glockenspiel, subtract 5 points)
Do you own a suit?
   Yes
   No
(You may give yourself 5 points if the suit is from two or more decades ago and stolen from the man you killed in Memphis. If it's Armani, you must subtract 5 points)
Do you have any physical infirmities that would lend themselves to a stage name (i.e. Two-Fingers or One-Eye)?
   Yes
   No
