Writing a Wrong (15 page)

I shook my head, trying to clear Lily's words from my memory. I didn't doubt the truth in them. I'd been around Lily enough to know she was honest to a fault. What I couldn't believe was how they were getting it on with Lily in the next room. How wrapped up in each other were they? Just plop your kid down in front of the TV and get down to business? Bile rose up in my throat as I fought to remove the image of Alec and Candace from my head.

Anger surged through me. That son of a bitch. For weeks I'd been beating myself up for not trusting him, blaming myself for allowing another guy to crush on me. I was disgusted over all the wasted energy I had turned on myself.

I surged from the chair, forcefully shoving my phone into my purse. I needed a drink. Hell, I needed several. Within seconds I found my group at the bar and wasted no time getting the bartender's attention. I tapped my fingers impatiently on the counter while he took his time checking my ID.

The moment the shot of bourbon hit the counter, I downed the contents without pause, much to the astonishment of my friends.

"Damn, girl. You're not playing around," Tina crowed, signaling the bartender for another round. "You okay?" she asked, getting a look at my face.

"Fine." I tipped my second drink up to my mouth, welcoming the warm fuzzy feeling that spread from my tongue to the back of my head and down my body.

Michelle appeared at my side, elbowing me with concern."Nicole?"

"I'm fine," I repeated, downing the rest of the shot. The amber liquid burned its way down to my stomach, but I welcomed the pain."I'll take another one," I said, waving the bartender over again.

"Are you sure you want another one?" Michelle asked.

"He's in the shower with her," I blurted out, chuckling. I couldn't fathom why I was laughing. Nothing about the situation was funny.

"No," she whispered, horrified. Monica and Tina looked on curiously, but it didn't take a genius to discern who I was talking about.

"Yep." I tried swallowing the sudden knot that had appeared in my throat. "Lily said they told her to watch Tinker Bell while they took a shower. Those were her words." My voice shrilled in my ears. I clamped my lips closed, not wanting to hear myself anymore.

Without pressing for details, Michelle guided me to one of the booths and ordered another round of drinks. It wasn't a shot of bourbon, but I didn't care. It could have been acetone and I would have drunk it. I just wanted to escape. The liquor didn't seem to help though. Even with the better part of three drinks floating around in my stomach.

Monica and Tina joined us in the booth and tried initiating light conversation. I didn't even bother to participate. I was too far gone in my dark place. With the last of my drink finished and my heart still aching, I stood up to leave, finally feeling the effects of the liquor in my system. I was a lightweight drinker and usually became slightly buzzed from a glass of wine. Michelle called the bartender to order another round, but I was done. The drinks had not given me the relief I needed. I reached into my purse and threw whatever money I could grab onto the table. The room had tilted slightly from when I stormed in earlier.

"I'll go with you," Michelle said, standing up.

I waved her off. "I just need to be alone for a little while," I said, gripping the back of the booth. "I'm going to head up to my room."

"Okay, sweetie." She patted my hand. "We'll talk in the morning."

I left the bar, taking mindful steps toward the elevators. Everyone's rooms were on the third floor, so the ride was short. Short was good. Short didn't provide the opportunity to dwell on things. Stepping off the elevator, I trudged down the hall with the alcohol swimming through my bloodstream. I felt numb.

I pulled out my key card and started to slide it into the lock before changing my mind. Turning back around, I moved three doors down and raised my hand to knock on the door.

I waited a few seconds and knocked again.

It was a sign. Even in my slightly drunken state, I could see that. I turned to leave just as the door opened. Greg stood in the doorway in nothing but a towel, looking puzzled to see me standing there.

My throat dried up at the sight of him in terry cloth. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.

"Nicole?"

I lurched forward before I could lose my nerve. My arms wrapped around his neck, dragging his lips to mine.

Chapter 16

Greg stood rigid in my arms for a moment before gathering me close. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, deepening the kiss. The thin towel did nothing to hide the evidence of how badly he wanted me. My hands moved to his chest, wanting to slide lower to rip the towel from his body. His tongue slid past my lips as his fingers weaved into my hair. I waited for the fireworks. The spark of intense heat that never failed to burn through my body anytime Alec kissed me. I pressed closer to grind against him, trying to spark the fire to life. Nothing. It was as if my hormones were broken. The lying, cheating bastard broke my libido.

I pulled away in defeat. I shouldn't have started this. In my misery, I shamelessly dragged Greg into my pit of despair.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling me closer.

I shoved him away with as much strength as I could muster. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here," I turned to leave, but he snagged my wrist.

"Obviously you've had a few too many. What happened?" Surprisingly, he didn't look upset, but more concerned.

Sighing, I slumped against the doorframe, losing the will to hold myself up. "Alec is cheating on me." The words felt as heavy as bricks trying to push me down and break me.

"Shit," Greg muttered, wiping his hands on the towel wrapped around his waist. "So you came here for revenge."

Tears of embarrassment streaked down my cheeks. "You're right. I'm an awful person. No one ever wants to believe it, but deep down I'm pond scum."

He chuckled. "You're not pond scum. You just overreacted. Believe me, I would have preferred you knocking on my door because you couldn't resist my animal magnetism."

I started to laugh, but it strained and died before fully developing. His ego might have felt differently if he knew his kiss really did nothing for me. "I am pond scum."

"Would it make you feel better if I said the kiss was good for me even though you're a little tipsy?" he asked, plucking the thoughts from my head.

More tears coursed down my cheeks. I shook my head. "Not for me. I'm sorry. I swear I wanted it to feel good. I think that bastard broke me," I sobbed.

"Ouch," Greg said, clutching his chest. "I was giving you my best stuff there too." He led me away from the door and sat me down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. Here it was my job to take care of the talent, but this one was out of my control," he said, calling me by the nickname he and Olivia had coincidently come up with together. "I'm going to throw some clothes on. Eat this," he said, handing me a candy bar. "I'm guessing you drank on an empty stomach, right?"

I nodded, accepting the candy.

He shook his head, exasperated. "Give me a second to change and then we'll talk. Don't go anywhere," he added, closing the bathroom door behind him.

I stared at the closed door, rubbing my teary eyes until they became blurry. I wanted to leave. Forcing Greg into my melodrama was unfair.

I stood up on shaky legs, catching my hideous reflection in the mirror. The evidence of pain was etched in every feature on my face. My shoulders slumped from the weight of my despair. I reached a finger toward my reflection, hardly recognizing the person staring back at me.

Greg opened the bathroom door to intercept me just as I made the decision to leave. "Whoa, where you going?"

"I shouldn't be here. It's not fair to you," I mumbled.

"Because I'm shamelessly in love with you and you just left me with blue balls?" he joked.

"See? Not love. Maybe lust," I muttered. The L-word was now forbidden to me. It was a meaningless term that people tossed around without really meaning it. I remember reading a dystopian novel where the ability to love was removed from people. At the moment it sounded like a keen idea.

Greg chuckled, leading me away from the door again and into a chair. "You sit there and I'll sit here," he said, sitting on the edge of his bed, where I had just been. "Now talk." 

"I don't want to talk." I wanted to punch myself in the face at how insolent I sounded.

"Okay then, I'll talk."

"Now all of a sudden you want to be Dr. Phil? For two weeks you've barely said anything."

"Blame it on my ego," he said, holding up his hands to surrender. "I'm not used to being shot down so effectively. Usually I'm able to get by on my charm."

I smiled at the way he wagged his eyebrows. "You didn't need to charm me. It was nice just being friends."

"You're right. You never showed that you wanted to be any more than friends. Anything beyond that was on me. You can't blame me for trying though, right? I mean, you are extremely attractive. Guys have to notice you wherever you go."

I sat for a moment, processing the sincerity of his sentiment. He was sweet. Under different circumstances there may have been more between us. I smiled in appreciation until he began to smirk slightly. "Wait a second. You're still trying, you jerk." My mind was still buzzing from my drinks at the bar, but I could tell when I was being hit on.

He clapped his hands, laughing. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Do you forgive me?" he asked as I slapped his shoulder. "Okay, seriously now. Friends?" He held out his hand, waiting for me to accept it.

I eyed him warily before sliding my hand on top of his. "Promise? Nothing more?"

"I swear. You'll be nothing more than a passing phase. I won't even picture you naked anymore."

"God, you perv," I said, slapping him again as he nearly fell off the bed from laughing. "Is that supposed to be your way of making me feel better?"

"All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just too much fun messing with you while you're drunk. Speaking of which, when we say friends, are we talking like fuck buddies? 'Cause I'm all in."

A startled laugh mixed with a snort bubbled out of me. "You're such a pig."

"At least I got you laughing," he said, giving my hand a squeeze.

"That you did. You really did," I said, shaking my head. I began to cry as the crushing reason why I had even knocked on his door reared its ugly head again. My phone call to Lily had taken me on an emotional roller coaster and now I was riding the down slope.

Greg handed me a box of tissues from the nearby table and settled back down on the edge of the bed. "Hey, come on now. I just got you cheered up. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

I was a snotty mess but couldn't summon enough will to care. Greg waited patiently while I pulled a handful of tissues from the box and blew my nose loudly. After mopping up my face, I was able to collect myself enough to spill the sordid details of Alec's betrayal.

Greg was an intent listener. A skill he claimed he had perfected from growing up with sisters. He offered a sympathetic ear, reacted when appropriate, and gave me plenty of space to cry it out when my second wave of tears became impossible to hold back.

We talked long into the night. Eventually, we crawled onto the bed and he continued listening until my voice became rough and my red swollen eyes could no longer produce any more tears. We drifted to sleep, innocently holding hands. He had provided the comfort of friendship I desperately needed.

I woke up suddenly to complete darkness. My feet were already on the ground and yet, I couldn't remember standing up. I reached out for something to get my bearings—the bed, the nightstand, but nothing came into grasp. I felt trapped under the weight of the vast darkness surrounding me. The only thing teasing my senses was a persistent buzzing that filled my brain. No matter how much I shook my head, the noise wouldn't clear. Something inside me told me to run, but I felt afraid. There was no sense of direction. The buzzing continued. I dropped to my knees, covering my head with my hands. Then I heard a voice. It was muffled but definitely talking to me. My arm began to shake and my heart painfully ached. My hands moved from my head to my chest as the voice became more discernible. It was Greg.

My eyes sprang open, fluttering as they struggled with the sun shining through the hotel room window. Greg stood over me, but his face was slightly blurred. I rolled over and pulled the pillow over my head, trying to block the light, but Greg yanked it away. "Nicole, you have to wake up."

I groaned, opening my eyes a crack to focus on his face as he shook my arm.

"It's Alec," he said, holding out my phone.

My head spun around as I raised myself to a seating position. I eyed the phone warily. Part of me couldn't believe he had the balls to call me. I couldn't help but wonder how long I'd been a sucker to his lying, cheating ways. I clenched my hands into fists, struggling to resist the urge to throw the phone against the wall.

"I think you should talk to him," Greg said, practically pressing the phone into my hand. He wasn't going to allow me to hide from this.

I glared at him before reluctantly taking the phone. He grabbed his wallet and room key and left the room, offering a smile of encouragement on his way out.

"Hey," I said drearily. Asshole would have been a more appropriate greeting, but that would come after I let him hang himself.

"Why the fuck is Greg answering your phone at seven o'clock in the morning?"

I recoiled at his accusatory tone. A film of red blurred my vision. How dare he accuse me? He was out of his ever-loving mind. The sheer craziness of the situation made me laugh manically. "Oh my god," I snapped. "Hey, pot, this is kettle. Guess what? You're black."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The confusion in his voice was a nice touch, but I wasn't buying the brand of bullshit he was peddling anymore. "It means you can stop lying, Alec. I know the truth. Do us both a favor and give me the courtesy of owning up to it, and while you're at it, clear all your shit out of my apartment. If that goes beyond your abilities, I'm sure my brothers will be more than willing to help out." It was a veiled threat, but I knew someone of his intelligence would have no trouble figuring it out.

"Nicole. What the hell are you talking about?"

I sighed as tears of anger sprang to my eyes, but I furiously swiped them away. "Alec, I called last night." The statement spoke for itself.

"Okay. And?"

Oh my god. He was seriously kidding me. Did I have to say it? Was that part of his torturous game? "Lily told me you were in the shower with Candace!" My voice shook with barely suppressed rage. "I can't believe you thought so little of Lily that you told her to watch a movie while the two of you were in the next room fucking your brains out. You couldn't at least wait until your daughter went to bed first?" I was so angry my entire body seemed to be humming.

"Nicole, you don't understand." 

"I don't understand? Well, you are right about that. I don't understand how I could have fallen for your bullshit and let you string me along." I debated ending the call, thus putting an end to this diabolical relationship. My finger hovered over the end call button on the screen. It would be so easy. One push and this torment would be over.

"Nicole, please. Just give me a chance to explain," he pleaded.

I expected some lame, meaningless apology or even a little groveling, but when he laughed I had reached my breaking point. Talk about the ultimate slap in the face.

"Oh, now it's funny? Goodbye, Alec." I pulled the phone away from my ear, ready to end him for good.

"Nicole, wait. I was fixing her shower."

At first I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I held the phone in my hand, staring at the screen.

"Nicole, honey? Are you still there?"

"Don't call me honey," I said through gritted teeth.

"Did you hear what I said? I was fixing her shower."

"How convenient. Snaked her plumbing is more like it," I said, rolling my eyes so dramatically I was surprised they didn't get stuck.

He sighed heavily into the phone. "Hold on a sec." He called out for Lily who I could hear running into the room. "Lily, tell Nicole what I was doing in Mommy's shower."

Seriously? His proof was the same child who had already given away his secret? I wasn't even sure why I continued to play along, but if he wanted to bury himself deeper, so be it.

"You were hammering it," Lily said.

"Talk right here, so Nicole can hear you," he said, coaxing her along.

"But I was playing with my doll."

"I know, honey. It'll just take a second."

For a six-year-old, Lily already had dramatic sighs down pat. "Daddy was hammering the water thingy while Mommy held the bucket," Lily said into the receiver.

My heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings as I digested her words. Lily must have dropped the phone by the sound of it hitting the ground. "Lily, didn't I tell you to be more careful?" Alec chastised her. "Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered as a new cold reality hit me. I had assumed the worst and basically hung Alec without giving him the benefit of the doubt. The only cheater in our relationship was me. I was the biggest hypocrite on the planet. Check that. I was the human equivalent of a fecal treatment plant.

"Good. I thought you hung up. Anyway, the pipe burst in Candace's bathroom last night. Her parents are away on vacation, so she called me. I can't say I was much help. As a matter of fact, I most likely caused more damage. We told Lily to watch her movie because she was in the bathroom splashing around like we were at a water park. I'm so sorry, babe. I know how it must have sounded, but you gotta believe me. I'm not a cheater. Never have been. Never will be. It's just not in my DNA."