Written By Fate (18 page)

Settle In

As the months pass, Dom and I fold Allie into our world and
she smiles more and more until she’s finally just my Allie again. I notice over
time that Dom slowly has built my trust in him. He’s protective and thoughtful.
He hates, ironically, that Allie and I are home alone at night. Whenever he
visits he always checks the house and instructs us to lock the doors when he
leaves. He never sleeps over when Allie’s home. His consideration for her
surprises me. No matter if our days took us separate ways, when we could we
slept together, and if we couldn't, he never missed a goodnight text or call.
He's bossy and I’m a smartass but somehow we balance each other out. He sends
two arrangements every week. One to the house for Allie and one to work for me.
We’ve both become so accustomed to it that I race to work Tuesday mornings and
Allie races home from school to see what he’s sent. He definitely knows how to
woo two girls. Allie and I giggle at her card each week. He always writes a
riddle that usually results in the two of us having to work together to solve
it. It’s brought us closer and I’m thankful for it. To celebrate six months of
dating, Dom treats Allie and me to a day of shopping, spa treatments, and then
a wonderful fancy dinner out that really knocks Allie’s socks off. She still
spends every other weekend with Sawyer but she’s really grown to like Dom and
actually asks when we’ll see him next. Things couldn’t possibly be working out
any better. It makes my heart swell to think that I might actually be able to
have the life I’ve always wanted and that it will not only make me happy but
that Allie is content, loved, and happy as well.

Sawyer and I are another story. We’ve been bickering lately
over stupid shit, like Allie’s bedtime, her grades, and how the holidays will
be spent. We still have split shifts at the shop so that we don’t have to run
into each other, and his hands still ball into fists whenever I bring up
Dominic. He keeps telling me he just needs time to get over me but it seems
like he’s unwilling to let go. He hasn't even dated any of the usual girls that
he used to see on and off. Sometimes I ask Allie about how he’s doing but she’s
pretty tight-lipped on her time with him and I can’t push that. Wednesdays
after school she’s started going to his apartment after her homework's done, to
have dinner with him. Since he’s only a couple miles from the house I let her
ride her bike over. Dom bought her a new bike with a headlight when he found
out, worried that riding home in the dark was unsafe. Both of us had laughed at
him, seeing as our neighborhood has virtually no traffic, great sidewalks and
street lamps every forty feet. He holds me while we sleep, he’s an amazing
kisser, even more amazing in bed, and can give me three orgasms in thirty
minutes. It’s crazy but true.

I pick up a picture of us taken a few weeks back and feel a
smile playing at my lips. It’s of me, Allie, and Dom at a neighbor's cookout just
after I’d finished his tattoo, which is amazing. I’m sitting in Dom’s lap, arms
around his shoulders, his arms at my waist. Allie stands in front of us, her
hands animatedly waving in the air. My head’s tipped back because I was
laughing at her story and Dom’s looking at the camera, laughing too. It’s a
great picture. Dom sneaks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and
resting his chin on my shoulder. “Love that picture,” he says and kisses my
neck. Things progress rather quickly from there and we’re suddenly on the bed.
Adding his fingers to the workings of his mouth and tongue, my hips surge up.

“Dom!” I moan. My body shakes as orgasm number two rips
through me. My knees are hauled up and he’s suddenly inside me. Driving deep,
hard and fast, I wrap my limbs around him tight. His hand goes between us,
finger back to that sensitive spot and my body jolts. ”Dom,” I cry out. His
head comes up and he looks down at me. He’s so gorgeous but even more so
pounding into me, touching me and pressing his weight into me. He thrusts,
rolls his hips, and his mouth touches mine. My hips buck up, my limbs go tight,
and my back arches as I come yet again. “I felt that,” he groans. I hold on as
his lips slide down to my ear where he grunts, and moves his hands to my hips.
He pulls up and thrusts deep before he finally plants himself inside me and
stops. “Hot,” I breathe into his ear.

“You are capable of wicked things Clara...wicked things,” he
pants, making me chuckle.

He rolls us, my back to his front, and slings an arm across
my belly. Nuzzling into my neck he lets me know that he has a late meeting
tomorrow and won't be able to come over. He’s been spending more and more time
at his lake house to be near me and Allie, but a lot of his meetings need to
happen on site at the clubs or in Boston.

“I’m flying out tomorrow but I should be back Wednesday,” he
says softly.

“Sounds good. I’ll be here,” I can feel his smile on my
neck.

“Sleep, baby,” he murmurs and for once, I do what I’m told.

Too Many Casualties

Dominic is in L.A. this week and Allie’s at Sawyer’s house
for dinner so I’ve a Lean Cuisine for myself. I take the steaming pile of bland
food to the living room, plop onto the couch, and click the TV on when a text
lights up my phone.

Dom: How’s my girl today?

Missing you.

Dom: Allie at Sawyer's?

Yeah

Dom: Feeling lonely?

Yeah.

Dom: What are you wearing?

WHAT?!

Dom: Hahhaa... just trying to distract you.

Dirty...dirty boy.

Dom: Can't help myself

Well try for my sake while you’re surrounded by gorgeous
women all week

Dom: you’re the only gorgeous woman I want

Best line ever.

Dom: I try.

As the six o’clock news ends my phone chirps. Sawyer’s text
is brief like always.

“Allie just left.”

I push off the couch and head to the front porch. I like
watching her ride her bike towards the house, blissfully unaware that I’m
watching her. She always looks so happy. Sitting on the porch swing I watch her
headlight appear around the corner. Smiling, I watch her skinny legs pedal and
the headlight bob over the cracks in the sidewalk. A car comes around the bend
a little too fast. It’s weaving all over the street. I stand instinctively,
feeling that panic that moms do. I start down the steps knowing I’m being
ridiculous as the car speeds along in Allie’s direction. She’s on the sidewalk,
she’ll be fine. I’m just over protective.

Mr. Anderson’s cat darts into the street and the car swerves
to avoid it. It jumps the curb and my heart jumps into my throat. Shit. The
tires squeal against the pavement as the breaks try to slow the car down. I’m
sprinting, screaming her name. Allie doesn't have time to get out of the way
and the last thing I hear is her blood-curdling scream as the car hits her and
she’s tossed in the air, bouncing on the hood of the car. Glass shatters and
there’s more screaming.

It’s coming from me.

As I get to Allie’s body I can hear Sawyer screaming. He’s
running towards me full throttle as neighbors creep closer to Allie and me.
Someone must have called 911 because sirens ring out and lights strobe as they
come down the street. I can’t move from where I am. Where Allie is. There’s so
much blood. My baby is covered in so much blood. I’m violently shaking and
can’t stop. I can't breathe or speak. I think I’m going to vomit. Sawyer pries
me off Allie as the paramedics load her onto a gurney and into the ambulance.
Nothing registers in my brain. I feel like I’m watching it all through a
stranger's eyes. Everyone’s words sound garbled, like I’m underwater, before I
collapse.

When I come to in Sawyer’s arms, we’re at the hospital. He
looks ragged and tired. I have no idea what time it is or what’s happened but
something is very, very wrong. A strangled cry rises from me and snaps Sawyer
out of his thoughts.

“You’re awake,” he states. “She’s in surgery still. You
passed out.” I can't yet form words so I just nod at him and scoot out of his
arms and into the chair next to him.

“I saw it, Sawyer,” my voice cracks and tears roll down my
cheeks.

“I know. Mr. Anderson told me. He’s the one who called 911.”

“She has to be okay,” I say determinedly. He rubs slow
circles on my back as I break down sobbing. Scooping me into his arms again, he
holds me tight.

“I called Dom for you,” he says, clutching me to his chest
as I fall apart. “He should be on a plane by now.”

“Sawyer. She’s going to be all right, right?” I ask quietly.

“I don't know. She wasn't breathing on her own when they got
here.” His voice cracks and it sends me into another fit of tears.

Two hours later the surgeon comes out and I practically jump
him, demanding answers.

“Please, Ms. Lord, try to calm down.”

“Calm DOWN?! ARE YOU INSANE!” I screech. Sawyer physically
restrains me so he can talk to us. “She has a few broken ribs and a concussion.
It’s her kidneys that we’re worried about. One was damaged so badly we couldn't
repair it. The other we managed to repair for now but it’s not a permanent
solution.”

“What does that mean? She needs a kidney? You can’t live
without a kidney. What the fuck are you saying?!” I scream. Two big arms wrap
around me from behind. “Shh. Let the man talk,” Dom’s deep voice whispers
calmly in my ear. When did he arrive? Thank God. His arms squeeze a little,
calming me only slightly.

“We will need to get her on a donor list for a transplant.
She can undergo dialysis for a while to keep the kidney working while we wait,”
the doctor relays.

“I’ll give her mine,” I blurt. “Take mine!”

“Ms. Lord, we will most certainly test you for a match. Her
father too.”

“Test me,” Sawyer says.

“Me too,” Dom adds.

“Okay, let’s go. NOW,” I all but scream frantically.
Dominic’s arms tighten around my shoulders as I try to break free.

“We can start the process after you see her. She should wake
up soon,” the doctor explains. The three of us follow a nurse to Allie’s bed
and Sawyer and I rush through the doors. Beeps and whistles fill the silence of
her room. She’s pale, too pale, and her body looks defeated and limp. I
collapse at her bedside sobbing. Sawyer gently picks me up, wiping his own
tears from his eyes and pulls a chair over to sit me in.

“Allie, baby, please wake up. Mommy’s here. Please. Wake
up.” I hold her hand and brush her hair off her face before face planting on
the bed next to where I hold her hand. Dom enters a few minutes later, giving
Sawyer and me time to adjust. His face blanches when he sees Allie. His hand
covers mine and squeezes gently.

Allie wakes but is in so much pain that they sedate her
again, after only a few moments with her.

With kidney failure comes decreased appetite and food
sensitivity. Allie’s appetite decreased drastically and she became increasingly
inactive. She began to lose weight rapidly while in recovery. Dom cleared his
schedule and never leaves my side. Sawyer and he seemed to reach some kind of
momentary truce during all this which makes life much easier. I refuse to leave
the hospital. I spend every day and night with Allie, sleeping in her room on a
cot. For weeks I play endless board games and card games with her while she
recovers from her injuries and undergoes dialysis. Dom and Sawyer both try to
get me to take a night off to go home and rest but I just won't have it. My
baby needs me and I will not leave her for anything other than to shower or use
the bathroom or order some food.

Truths

Within a month I had gone through all of my tests to be an
organ donor. Sawyer and Dominic, too.

“Ms. Lord,” Dr. Brandt greets and motions for me to take a
seat next to him on the couch.

“Are we good to go?” I ask nervously.

“You aren’t a match,” he says sadly.

“What? I’m her mom, of course I’m a match,” I blurt.

“It’s possible, yes, but not always a guarantee. Her father
could be a match. Can you contact him?” he asks.

“I’m on it,” Dom clips, pulling his phone from his pocket.

“NO!” I shout, stopping him in his tracks.

“What?” Sawyer barks. “Clara, this is Allie’s life!”

“I’m aware,” I say flatly. How can I possibly explain this?
My life has never seemed more complicated than it is right now. Everything is unraveling.

“I’ll give you all some space,” Dr. Brandt interrupts and
leaves. We move to the waiting room so we don't wake Allie from her nap.

“Don’t call Daniel. Please,” I beg. My whole world is
spinning out of control. How can I not be a match? Why is this happening?

“What can we do? If she doesn’t want to ask him we can’t,” Dom
defends me.

“I’ve already been tested and I’m not either,” Sawyer bites
out. “This isn't funny anymore. If you or Clara won't call Daniel then I will.
I will not let Allie suffer and possibly DIE because she doesn't want Allie to
know. I will hunt him down with or without you,” Sawyer finishes in a deadly
tone. Dom and Sawyer continue to go back and forth as my head spins at the
impossibility of this moment ever happening. I can’t take their bickering
anymore. This has nothing to do with Daniel and it’s time I tell them.

“STOP!” I scream. Both men turn to me, jaws set, looking
angry. “Daniel can’t help because he’s not her father.” My voice falters as
both men's faces twist into disbelief.

“What the fuck are you talking about Clara?” Dom shouts.

“What?” Sawyer booms.

“Please. Stop. I’ll explain,” I say, sucking in a ragged
breath. Both men sit arms crossed over their chests and wait patiently.

“Charlie is her father,” I breathe the one thing only I
know.

“Daniel’s father? Senator Hollingsworth?” Dom’s voice is
unusually high-pitched. Sawyer sits in silence trying to take it all in.

“Daniel and I attended a party with them, his parents.
Charlie…he… raped me in the bathroom. He told me if I ever told a soul he would
‘end me.’ Daniel and I hadn't slept together for weeks at that point, and
Daniel would have never believed me anyways…no one would have. I was a
nobody…I… I was just cheap trash that Daniel picked up and groomed into
something,” I relay, complete with air quotes. The air around us in unbearably
quiet and I don't dare breathe. Sawyer’s jaw ticks with rage and his knuckles
are white as he stands. His fist connects with the waiting room wall and
plaster tumbles to the floor. Dom stares at me, gaping, before standing and
striding out of the room without a word. I can’t control the trembling as the one
secret I never thought would see the light of day lingers in the air around me.
I pull my legs up under me and tuck my head between my knees. Sawyer’s arm
wraps around me. “I’m so sorry, Clara,” he says softly. I let myself lean into
his lean frame and, for what feels like the millionth time this month, I sob
quietly.

Hours later Allie sleeps peacefully in bed and I’m reading
on my cot. Dom walks briskly into Allie’s room and pulls me by the wrist from
my cot into the hall without a word. I stand before him waiting as he clenches
and unclenches his jaw.

“I called Charlie,” he finally says. My lungs refuse to pump
air and I can feel myself pale.

“Wh..what?” I stammer.

“It had to be done. Allie’s life is too important to wait on
a possible donor.” His hand grips the back of my neck and holds me firmly in
place as my legs start to liquefy.

“I...”

“He’ll be here tomorrow,” he says gently but firmly.

“How?” I choke out.

“Clara. I own one of his biggest investments. I made it
clear that I would let the hotels tank if he didn't get tested.”

“No. No, Dom. I can’t see him. Allie can’t see him.” My
vision starts to blur and I feel dizzy. Dom’s arms wrap around my middle,
holding me up.

“There is no other choice. It’s done. If he’s a match, Allie
gets a kidney,” he states quietly.

“And a dad?” I question.

“Never. I made it very clear that he’s to stay out of both
of your lives or I’d personally report what happened to you,” he says gently.
My legs finally betray me and I start to go limp in Dom’s arms. This isn’t
real. None of it is real. My brain is at maximum capacity and I just can't wrap
my head around what's happening. Effortlessly he scoops me up, carries me back
into Allie’s room, and lays me on the cot. “Everything will be okay,” he
soothes, rubbing my back. I can’t stop trembling until Dom lies on the tiny cot
with me and holds me tightly to him, whispering in my ear that everything will
work out. It takes hours but eventually, with Dom’s arms around me, I fall
asleep.

When morning arrives Dom is gone. Sawyer and Allie are
quietly going over some of her school work together since we’ve been trying to
keep her up to speed so she doesn't get held back. A smile tugs at my mouth
watching the two of them together. I stretch and crack my neck, trying to get
rid of the way my body hurts from sleeping on the tiny cot night after night.

“Morning, Mom,” Allie chirps at me.

“Mornin’, love. How are you feeling?” I coo at her.

“Mom...I’m okay,” she rolls her eyes at Sawyer while they
snicker at me and continue on. I give her a kiss on the head before hitting the
bathroom to freshen up. Standing in front of the mirror I am horrified. There
are dark circles under my eyes and I look like I just survived the Holocaust.
It’s not a pretty picture. I splash my face with water in a lame attempt to
bring some life back into it and head back to Sawyer and Allie.

“How’s the school work coming along?” I ask mostly to
Sawyer.

“She’s still struggling with math... she’s totally your
kid.” He smiles up at me. His eyes scan my face and, noticing my haggard
appearance, snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me into a hug. “You don’t
have to see him you know,” he says quietly into my ear.

I nod into his shoulder and straighten. “Has Dom been around
this morning?” I ask.

“Yeah, he’s ahh...in with Dr. Brandt,” he informs me.

“He’s here then?” I ask and Sawyer nods.

“Who? Who’s here?” Allie asks watching us.

“No one, baby,” I smooth her hair and head for Dr. Brandt’s
office.