Written in the Scars (30 page)

My heartbeat starts to quicken and I feel my cheeks heat further.

Cord’s chair pushes out, the legs dragging against the floor. I look up at him and he smiles.

“Cord . . .” My mouth goes dry before I can say anything else.

“Reading people is a remnant of being a foster kid. You learn to read people, notice little things because if you don’t, you’ll get your ass kicked,” he shrugs. “If you are, congratulations. And if you’re not . . . it
will
happen,” he says, tossing the hood of his jacket over his head. “Now I’m going to go show those boys how to work on a truck.”

He winks and heads out the front door, leaving me in the kitchen with my jaw hanging wide open.

ELIN

“What?” I look up as Lindsay rounds the corner. Her hand still holds her phone, as her face mars with confusion. “What?” she asks again.

I laugh, a sound of disbelief married with anxiety. “I’m not sure.”

“Dude, you’re scaring me,” she says, coming towards me. “What’s the matter, Elin?”

My hand trembles as I raise it from my side. The bangle bracelets on my wrist rustle prettily together. As if on auto-pilot, it heads to my stomach but I stop it, hesitate, before it lands. With a deep breath, I watch my palm meet my stomach.

My eyes fly to hers. “Linds?”

“Yeah?”

“Um, I don’t know if this is even possible. I mean it’s possible, technically,” I say hurriedly, the brownie I ate starting to creep up my throat, “but I’m not sure . . .”

“Elin?” She closes the distance between us, her eyes drifting to my hand on my stomach.

I giggle nervously. “I’m probably not,” I say. “I mean, I never thought about it. But maybe?”

“Oh my God,” she breathes, her eyes flying wide. “Seriously? You think so?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if I want to know.”

“Of course you do!” she says, dragging me down the hall. “I mean, I do, so you do. Oh my God! This would be the best thing ever!”

My heart squeezes, nearly cutting off my oxygen. Knowing that it would be the best thing ever for the both of us to have babies with the men we love, but also knowing that if things had worked out, we already would be on that path, makes a hot set of tears sting my eyes.

We reach the bathroom door, the one where I ran into Ty at the night of the bonfire. Lindsay spins me around to face her.

“Do you want to know?” she demands. “I mean, you’ll have to know sooner or later. And I want to force you in there to take a test, but I also know how personal this is and maybe you want to wait and do it with Ty?”

I imagine his face if it turns out I’m not. Looking down at my stomach for a few moments before up at my friend again, I say, “Let’s do it.”

Lindsay lets out a squeal and flips on the light. She rummages through a cabinet. No words may come out of my mouth, but a million emotions swirl together in my body creating a beautiful, dangerous chaos that I’m not sure I can navigate.

“Ta-da!” she exclaims, standing up and wielding a little box. It rattles as she shakes it. “I knew I had an extra!”

She extends her hand, offering me the device that will either change my world or ruin an excitement that, despite my best efforts, has already started to take root.

“Am I really going to do this?” I ask, taking the box.

“Yes, you are. I have to know.”

“Well, get out of here and let me pee on the stick.”

Lindsay laughs, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Okay, but I want to watch it turn with you. Okay? I mean, I don’t even care if that’s gross.”

“Out,” I laugh, shoving her towards the door gently. Once she’s gone, I shut it and lock it for good measure.

The package ripped open, I toss the box and directions away. Forcing a swallow, I study the little white gadget.

“Be good to me,” I whisper, pulling down my pants.

It takes forever to actually urinate, and I try to guide the thin piece of plastic into the stream. Finishing up and getting myself together, I sit it on the counter and refuse to look at it.

I can’t.

A ball sits in my throat as I open the door and face my friend. I think I might pass out.

“Well?” she asks.

I press my lips together and fight to hold back tears. Even though I didn’t expect this situation, now that I’m in it, I want it. Oh, dear Lord, do I want it. I’ve never wanted anything more than this.

“Let’s look,” she whispers, laying a hand along my shoulders.

In unison, we turn. Together, we suck in a hasty breath. At the same time, we fall into each other’s arms, tears dotting our faces.

“It’s positive,” Lindsay gushes in my hair.

A reply won’t come past the sobs racking my body. My knees shake, a smile etched across my cheeks as I grab at the counter to hold myself up. I place both hands on my belly and look down.

It looks the same as it always does, Ty’s shirt hanging loosely over the round curve from the Freshman Fifteen I never lost. Still, I feel it. A sense of wonder, a feeling of fullness that it’s not just me right now. It’s . . . us.

A baby.

“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, not to anyone in particular. My head snaps up. “When was the last time I drank?”

Lindsay laughs and places her hand on my belly too. “They’ll grow up together. Just a few months apart. My girl and your boy.”

“What?” I laugh.

She shrugs. “Ty would be awesome with a boy. When are you telling him?”

I want to tell him now. I want to run to the barn and jump on him, kissing him senseless as I try to put this into words. But Jiggs is there and Cord too, and after everything . . .

My stomach flip-flops as ice water fills my veins, and I shiver at the thought of losing yet another baby.

“They’re off after tomorrow,” I say, thinking of their schedule. “They’ll be home for two days.”

“You want to wait till then? Can you manage to keep it a secret for another whole twenty-four hours?”

I imagine seeing him in bed, his early morning hair all ruffled. I’ll come in with his coffee and watch him give me his sleepy smile. I’ll climb in bed beside him and nuzzle against his solid chest and give him the news. Just the two of us.

Besides, it’ll give me time to get my head wrapped around this and to convince myself it’s going to be okay.

“I’ll try,” I say. “I really want it to be special. Maybe I’ll play a game or something, I don’t know. But I want it to be something we remember. Maybe if I do it different, we’ll have different results.”

Lindsay makes a face at my insinuation, but chooses to disregard it. “So I have to keep it a secret?” she moans instead. “I’m so bad at that!”

“Don’t you dare tell a soul. Not even Jiggs,” I warn her, my finger wagging in her face. “I mean it, Linds.”

“I won’t,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Of course I won’t. But, Elin,
you’re pregnant
!”

“I’m pregnant,” I whisper.

The door opens and closes, the sound echoing through the house. We look at each other as Lindsay heads for the bathroom door.

“I’ll go stall them. Clean up your face or Ty’s gonna know something is wrong,” Lindsay instructs.

“Lindsay!”

“What?” she hisses.

“You are so not moving to Florida.”

She gives me a look, one I’m not totally convinced means she’s going to stop the push for the move, but I’m too amped up to think about it. It’s a conversation for another day.

I splash some water on my face and pat it dry. Tucking the test in toilet paper, I stash it in a cabinet and make a mental note to come back and get it later.

I head down the hall, trying not to touch my stomach and not smile like the loon I feel. Everyone is standing in the kitchen when I arrive.

“You okay?” Ty asks immediately, reaching for me. His brows are pulled together.

“I’m good. Lindsay was just, um, telling me about the baby and I just got a little worked up. It’s so exciting, you know.”

I glance at my brother and he’s oblivious, devouring the rest of the brownies on the plate. But when I look at Cord, he’s grinning.

As subtly as I can, I nod. He winks, his cheeks breaking into a wide smile.

“Ready to go?” Ty asks, pulling me into his side.

I place a hand on his back, feeling his raised scar through the material of his shirt.

He’s here. I’m here. And, maybe, finally, so is our baby.

TY

Slate-colored clouds roll overhead, a low rumble of thunder noticeable every few minutes. The ground sloshes beneath my boots as I make my way to the entrance of the mine alongside Jiggs and Cord.

“Not a bad first week back,” Jiggs notes, swinging his lunchbox beside him. “We met goal. Nothing broke down—”

“And I didn’t kill Pettis,” Cord laughs.

“I reported his bullshit from last night,” I note, thinking back to twelve hours before. “No miner can go any farther than we’ve prepped for. Fucker has a death wish, and while I’m not entirely brokenhearted about
that
, I kinda wanna live.”

“Me too,” Jiggs snorts. “I got a kid on the way. Would like to be around to teach him how to make a jump shot like his dad.”

“Better let Uncle Ty teach him that if you want him to be the best,” I joke as I spy Pettis and Grunt up ahead. “I have a feeling Pettis is going to get fired tonight once we’re done. When I reported him this morning, Percora said he’d take care of it. You know what it’ll look like if something goes wrong right after we re-open.”

“It’ll close us down and we’ll go without a paycheck again,” Cord says, tinkering with his flashlight. “I think this thing has a loose cable or something. It keeps going off.” He shakes it in the air and mutters under his breath.

“Shit’s breaking already,” Jiggs laughs as we approach Pettis and Grunt. “You boys ready?”

Grunt makes the sound he makes that means yes, no, and maybe. Pettis nods, eyeing us all warily.

I watch the cart come up the ramp. Grunt and Pettis get in first and descend into the darkness.

“Let’s do this and go home for a couple of days.”