xanth 40 - isis orb (27 page)

The others passed on by the shack, but Hapless and Feline paused to knock on its warped door. In barely one moment it opened to reveal yet another surprisingly well-formed woman wearing a heavy kerchief, dark glasses, a short skirt, and a light halter. “Yes?”

“Uh, we are travelers looking for the gorgon,” Hapless said, fighting off the distraction of the well-filled halter. The woman seemed somehow familiar. “Could you direct us?”

“You’re looking for the gorgon?” the woman demanded, amazed. “She’s dangerous. Everyone knows that.”

How much should he say? Lying was not in his nature, but neither did it seem smart to advertise their mission.

Feline stepped in, knowing his limitation. She could lie when she needed to. “We want to interview her for a special project.”

The woman turned to Feline. “And you are?”

“Feline. I’m a cat woman.” She changed briefly. “And this is Hapless. He’s on a Quest to discover a musical instrument he can play.” She grimaced. “So far everything he has tried is awful.”

Hapless found her technique interesting. She was lying by indirection. What she said was true, but it was a diversion from the reason they wanted to find the gorgon.

“Maybe he should try the foghorn,” the woman said with a third of a smile.

Something about her dismissal of his ability annoyed Hapless. So he did what he knew better than to do: he conjured a foghorn and blew it. POOOO-POO! The noisome sound smelled like conjugated poop. Worse was the fog that poured out of it, filling the area with its putrid stench.

“As I said, awful,” Feline said with the other two thirds of the smile after the three of them had finished coughing and the air cleared.

“So I see,” the woman agreed. “I am impressed.” Her gaze returned to Hapless with a certain guarded appreciation. “May I try it?”

He handed the foghorn to her. She put it to her mouth and blew. This time it made a loud, deep, melodious sound, as of a wind blowing across a scenic waterfall, and the fog didn’t smell.

“Exactly,” Feline said. “Everyone else can play them, but not him.”

“Perhaps a water drum,” the woman suggested. “Or the water bowls. Can you conjure those?”

“Sure.” Hapless conjured the water drum, which was a large half gourd shell filled with water, with a small gourd floating in it, tapped with the fingers to make the sound. Then the bowls, which were several open glassy bowls filled with water to different levels. When the woman leaned forward to tap their rims with bamboo sticks, they made different notes.

“I never played these so well before,” the woman said.

“That seems to be part of his talent,” Feline said. “Other folk play the instruments he conjures very well. Isn’t that true, Hapless?”

Hapless remained frozen.

Feline snapped her fingers at his ear, bringing him out of it. He had freaked out when he saw down inside the woman’s marvelously shapely halter. “Uh, yes,” he agreed belatedly.

“You intrigue me,” the woman said. “You have nice magic. I may have a use for it, between bouts of ellipses.”

“Uh—”

“Bouts of what?” Feline asked in a deceptively neutral tone.

“You heard me, catnip. The Adult Conspiracy censors out the details, leaving only suggestively trailing fragments.”

“We’re not interested in that.”

Actually Hapless was interested. What did this shapely creature have in mind?

Instead of responding to Feline, the woman faced Hapless. “Let me show you the surf.”

“Uh—”

“We’re just looking for the gorgon,” Feline said sharply. “We don’t need to see the sights.” Hapless wasn’t sure which sights she meant. He had become to a degree acclimatized to the bare breasts of some of the Companions, but that halter was potent.

The woman pointedly ignored her. “Just let me put on my water moccasins,” she said, lifting one foot high to set it on a bench so she could put on the slipper. Her short skirt slid back along her thigh, heading for neverland.

Hapless knew what was coming. She was going to freak him out with her panties. Feline wouldn’t like that. He started to jerk his eyes away—and saw a faint glitter touching her heel.

He recognized that glitter. It was the path. It led to the woman’s feet.

This was Carmen, the gorgon. The path had looped around, as it sometimes did, touching itself without being complete. Carmen must have seen them coming and set herself up to intercept them. She intended to make him her boy toy for a month or three before discarding him. Feline didn’t know it, so he couldn’t conjure her kit and have her fascinate the gorgon; by the time he explained, they would both be washed out. Or he would be in a freak-out trance and Feline would be water.

They needed to get out of here. Now.

“What did you say your interest in the gorgon was?” Carmen asked Hapless, as if to distract him from what she was doing.

Despite his realization of their imminent peril, the sight of that exposed thigh was messing with his mind. It made him speak more freely than was wise. “We need her for our Quest. We need her to be a Totem.”

“A Totem! Never!”

Hapless made a supreme effort. He tore his gaze away from those luscious legs just before the panty showed, and lurched against Feline. “Go!”

“What?” she asked, annoyedly confused.

He grabbed her about the shoulders and shoved her away from the house. “Away!”

“Hapless, what are you doing?”

“It’s Carmen!”

Now she recognized the name. “The gorgon? This is mischief.”

“So you caught on,” the gorgon said, removing her dark glasses. “That’s too bad. Now I’ll have to treat you unkindly.” She pulled off her kerchief, and the uncovered snakes hissed in unison. “I will make a wave.”

They ran from the house. Hapless saw Zed and Faro waiting for them a short distance ahead. “Get out of here!” Hapless yelled. “It’s the gorgon!”

But the centaurs ran the wrong way, back toward Hapless and Feline. Before he could protest they caught up, and Zed swung Hapless onto Faro’s back. Feline turned cat and jumped onto Zed’s back. Then both centaurs galloped madly away from the house, not looking back. They knew what was what.

“No you don’t!” the gorgon cried. Suddenly a wave was forming in the water, rising higher as it rushed for the shore. The gorgon was the guardian of water; she could make it respond to her command. It was clear that it would crash on the shore and wipe them out.

“You go ahead,” Faro called to Zed. “She’s after Hapless.”

Zed nodded, then increased his speed. He was very fast when he put his mind to it, thanks to his zebra heritage. The wave might not catch him before he got out of its range. Faro didn’t race; instead she spread her wings and leaped into the air. “Guide me!” she told Hapless, closing her eyes.

“Turn right,” he said. “Climb.”

She did so, and in about 2.1 moments was sailing over the incoming wave, barely skimming over its hump. The water beyond was calm; they had escaped the trap.

“What happened?” Faro asked as they glided on, more relaxed.

“We stopped to ask directions from a pretty woman,” Hapless said. “Only she turned out to be the gorgon in disguise. She liked my talent, and was going to freak me out and make me her boy toy. But we ran.”

“And there wasn’t time for Feline to enchant her with violin music,” Faro concluded.

“That’s it. Had we but known, we could have been prepared, and Totemed her right then.”

“Ever thus,” Faro agreed. “It seems to me that gorgon is dangerously canny.”

“Yes, this may be more of a challenge than we thought.”

Hapless saw Zed and Feline on the sand safely beyond the wave. The dragons were gliding down to join them. He directed Faro, and they landed close by. “I knew you could get me there,” Faro said. “I trust you.”

“You fly beautifully when you are blind,” he agreed.

They walked and slithered as a group, discussing what had happened. “I wonder what Colorado thought of?” Hapless asked.

“I believe I can answer that,” Zed said. “He thought of the gorgon.”

“The gorgon?”

“She was impersonating him, to talk with us anonymously, as it were,” the centaur said. “She wanted to know what we were up to, and we told her.”

“But she said she was Colorado!”

“She lied. Did you ever see her actually change color?”

Hapless realized that it was true. The woman had described the condition, but not actually performed it. He remembered the kerchief that would have covered her snakes. “We could have nabbed her!”

“The box led us right to her,” Feline said. “And we let her get away.”

“We did not think outside the box,” Hapless agreed. “We just assumed the gorgon was far away.”

“Then it led us to her again,” Feline said. “And she fooled us again.”

“And now she knows all she needs to about us,” Hapless said. “And what we want to do to her.”

“We’ll never catch her after this,” Feline said. “She’ll wipe us all out if we ever get near her again.”

“There is an aspect,” Faro said thoughtfully. “Didn’t you say she was playing up to Hapless?”

“She bent low to freak him with her halter,” Feline said indignantly. “Then she was going to flash her panties. She was going to stun him long enough to wash me out, so she could have him all to herself.”

“Could she be the bad girlfriend?”

That made them all pause a good three quarters of a moment. “Oh, no!” Feline breathed. “Carmen could love him for a while, and it would be the end of him.”

“Literally,” Faro agreed. “That seems to be a feasible definition of a bad girlfriend.”

“So there’s the answer,” Faro said.

The others looked at her blankly. “Isn’t that the problem, rather than the answer?” Zed asked.

“The problem is avoiding her gaze,” Faro said. “The solution is making her jealous. She’s getting a thing for Hapless. That makes her vulnerable. She won’t want to wash him out yet. So she’ll keep her specs on.”

“But he can’t just go to her,” Feline protested. “Even if she wants to play with him a while before washing him out, it will ruin the Quest.”

“He won’t go to her. She will come to him.”

“I’m still not seeing this,” Feline said.

Faro spelled it out. “You will go with Hapless to a place near Carmen, to be sure she can overhear you and perhaps see you,” Faro said carefully. “The path will show you where. You will play up to him in an obvious effort to seduce him. She will have to act to prevent that, because she doesn’t want a used man, she wants a fresh one. She’s an imperious creature; you know the type. She will be furious that you are interfering with her target. Common sense will dissipate, leaving blind outrage. When she charges foolishly in, concentrating her deadly gaze on you, you will greet her with your music. That will be the end of her.”

Feline nodded, seeing it at last. “Something about your reasoning appeals to me.”

“I thought it might.”

“The rest of us will keep our distance,” Zed said. “This is your challenge, Feline.”

“It is indeed,” Feline agreed.

They moved on until they found a suitable campsite. The others set about foraging for pies, blankets, and milk pods, while Nya in naga form quietly slithered along beside the path ahead, out of sight. Naga were very good at slithering unobserved, especially in the dark, and if she got caught she could use her Fire Totem to make a distraction and escape.

In due course Nya returned. “She has a secluded beach she uses to entertain men,” she reported. “It is stocked with food and things men like, such as swords, cans of beer, and pictures of nude women. Between bouts of whatever, she retires to a deep neighboring pool where she can rest while keeping an eye or two on the men. They can’t see her in the pool, but she sees them via her snakes peeking just over the surface. It seems the men are mostly so befuddled by the mere thought of being with her that they don’t even try to escape. But when they do try, she quickly washes them out.”

“She certainly knows how to handle men,” Feline said almost approvingly.

“In the morning, follow the path to that beach,” Nya said. “She will be in the pool beyond, resting. Pretend not to know she is there; you are merely looking for a private place to play with Hapless. Then strike when she emerges from the pool and comes at you.”

“Strike?” Hapless asked, as slow on the uptake as usual.

“Conjure Feline’s violin. Give it to her. Close your eyes, both of you; you must not look at the gorgon. Chances are she won’t recognize the significance of the music until too late.”

“But what if she does recognize it?” Hapless asked.

“Then you are lost. It’s a calculated risk.”

“I’m not sure I—”

“We’ll take it,” Feline said.

“I don’t know,” Hapless said as he lay with Feline under their blanket. “This seems awfully risky.”

“Just play your part,” she said. “You know you have to be in the scene so that my music will be competent.”

“Still, if our timing is at all off—”

She kissed his ear, pleasantly delivering a quarter stun. “Then I might succeed in seducing you before she arrives. Would that be such a horror?”

“But—but—what about Merge?”

“She will surely have her turn.”

“Are you teasing me?”

“Hapless, I have not yet begun to tease you,” she said, taking his hand and putting it somewhere on her body that was remarkably soft yet firm. That freaked him out, and he disappeared into a pleasant slumber.

ooOOoo

He woke in darkness. Feline lay beside him, softly sleeping, his hand still on her bare bottom. He loved the way she trusted him. In fact, he loved
her
. If only he could be sure that it was something other than her curves that compelled him. And what about Merge, and little Myst? He loved them too. How could he be so emotionally jumbled?

But that wasn’t what had awakened him. There was an eerie yet compelling sound.

ooOOoo

What was it? It was coming from the lake. He had to find out its source. He carefully crawled out from under the blanket, naked—had Feline removed his shorts? What a tease she was!—and made his way to the shore.

ooOOoo

It was clearer now, coming from the water. There was a figure there, a shape in the shallow surf, illuminated by the moonlight. A female face, magnificent breasts, a slender torso. She switched her flukes, moving toward him. It was a mermaid.