Yearning Absolution (Yearning Series) (15 page)

Days passed quickly for Gwen. She
still slept quite a bit but she was gaining feeling back in her legs and having
therapist come in to help keep her strength up. Today was the day she was going
to try to stand and walk.

While her physical body was making
nice progress, she still was missing quite a few of her memories. But if she
could get mobile again she was hoping she could get out more and it would jog
her memory. The doctors agreed that different images, scenery and scents might
help.

She had also avoided talking about
what had happened that put her in this situation. She just wasn’t ready to go
through those memories yet.

“Okay. Ready?” The young physical
therapist had wrapped a belt around her waist and was standing right in front
of her as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“I suppose so.” Gwen looked over
his shoulder to see both Cole and McKayla watching her. Those were the memories
she wanted back the most. To remember McKayla. The woman spent many hours at
her bedside talking about things they had done together or playing card games
with her just to pass the time. Gwen had come to know think of her as a friend,
but absolutely nothing had come to her about their past.

“Now, slowly put your weight on
your feet and push off the bed with your arms. I am right here, ready to grab
you should your feet fail.” The young man once again brought Gwen back to the
present. She nodded and did as he instructed.

She pushed off the bed with her
hands and locked her knees. Pleasantly surprised, her legs held under her. She
actually felt relatively steady too.

“Good. That’s excellent.” The man
was saying. Gwen focused soley on her legs and balance. He moved a walker in
front of her and helped her place her hands on either side of it. “There you
go. Now move the walker forward just a bit and then try to transfer your weight
from one foot to the other as you take a step.”

“I can do this.” Gwen spoke to
herself as she looked down at her legs and feet. She took a deep breath and her
ribs zinged a bit but they were healing more each day. With a small grunt, she
pushed the walker forward and managed to slowly move one foot forward a bit,
then the other.

“Great job. Now lets try a couple
more, if you are up to it.” The man was saying again.

“Yes.” Gwen made painstakingly slow
progress to the door to the bathroom and back to the bed. It took a long time,
but she had stayed mostly stable on her feet. Once back at the bed, she
collapsed back into the bed, exhausted.

“That was great. I think you’ll be
up on your own before no time.” With that the young man slipped from the room.
Leaving Gwen with Cole and McKayla. A nurse would surely be checking on her in
just a minute. That was generally how they did things around here. Never more
than a few minutes rest without a nurse poking her. They were supposed to be
moving her to a different room soon since she was no longer in critical
condition.

“I want to go home.” Gwen blurted
out as the thought entered her head. “Can’t I do this from home? I’m tired of
being bothered all the time by the nurses. I don't know where home is but I'm ready
to go anywhere but here.”

“We will have to check with the
doctors but I’m sure we will be able to arrange something.” Cole didn’t
hesitate with his answer. He wanted her home as much as she wanted to be there.
"And home was my apartment before this all happened."

“I think I’m ready to talk about
what happened with the authorities.” Gwen nodded to herself. She was ready to
move on from it. Something about getting up on her feet again made her feel
stronger, more centered. It was like she had shown herself that she would be
okay after all. And maybe it would help get that monster off the street and
unable to ever do something like this to anyone else again.

“I’ll make a call.” Cole pulled his
phone from his pocket as he stepped from the room.

“Can you help me?” Gwen looked at
McKayla, who was still standing near the door. McKayla quickly walked to the
side of the bed.

“Anything.” McKayla smiled down at
her.

Gwen looked down for a moment,
thinking through her words. Sometimes it was still hard to form words, but most
were coming easier. “I would like to brush my hair and teeth before other
people see me. Can you help me? I know we were friends so I’m hoping this was
something we’ve done before.”

“Absolutely.” McKayla blinked back
tears. Such a simple task but Gwen still needed help with it. She dug in a
drawer near the bedside and came up with a comb. “Let me get some water so we
can calm it down a bit too.”

McKayla went to the bathroom and
filled a small tub with water. Grabbing a washcloth from the counter in the
room, she returned to Gwen’s side. She rested her hip on an empty spot on the
bed and faced Gwen. “Let's tame that beautiful hair.” She used the washcloth to
wet Gwen’s hair a bit before carefully running the comb through it.

Gwen closed her eyes and relaxed
while her hair was combed. She jumped a bit as a memory flashed in front of her
closed eyes.

“Come here.” Gwen sat on the counter
and pushed out the little vanity stool that had been tucked under the counter
with her foot. McKayla came and sat down between Gwen’s thighs on the backless
chair, her back to Gwen.  Gwen grabbed a brush and started carefully running it
through McKayla’s wet hair. Gwen’s feet rested on either side of McKayla’s hips
as she combed out her hair for her.  “I think you’d be very good at it.”

“Yeah?” McKayla didn’t sound so
sure.  She wrapped her arms around Gwen’s calves, hands resting on the top of
Gwen’s feet. “I’m just not sure I’d even know what to do.”

“You know more than you think you
do. I bet it’ll come natural. Your body is sexy as hell. You have beautiful
hair like a lot of models. Plus, you have the cutest damn smile.” Gwen said
dragging the brush through McKayla’s hair.

They had been talking about McKayla
starting a modeling career. They had been a couple. Gwen remembered that much.
She opened her eyes and looked into McKayla’s blue eyes.

“We were together.” Gwen spoke
softly. She didn’t have the feelings of love that she expected to come with
that admission. She only remembered they had been together and they had been
good together but the feelings weren’t there.

“I’m sorry?” McKayla blinked in
confusion.

“You and me. We were a couple,
right? I just remembered us talking about you starting your modeling career. We
had just taken a shower together and I was brushing your hair.” Gwen tried to
remember more but nothing came. It was so frustrating to feel like all her life
was right there. Just out of reach.

“Yes. That was about a year and a
half ago.” McKayla nodded but a sad looked crossed her face. “Things have
changed quite a bit since then.”

The next day, the sketch artist
came by with his laptop and Gwen was able to help him adjust the image on his
screen to be a fairly accurate depiction of Richard.

“The doctor should be in today to
talk about taking you home. I already spoke to him about having a nurse at home
with you and physical therapy coming by to help your progression.” Cole told
Gwen shortly after arriving. He had left for a few hours to see to the preparations
needed to get her home.

“Great.” Gwen smiled at him. She
was feeling down. She was still very upset about the loss of the pregnancy and
the babies. Her mind was being pulled in a million directions at once so she
tried not to focus on it. She tried to focus on getting back to a normal life,
finding her way back to her lost memories. “I’d like to try to go for a walk.”
She looked at Cole and smiled.

“Let me get the nurse.” He once
again escaped behind the curtain and out into the hallway. Gwen hadn’t even
seen what was out there. They always had her curtain pulled. She was hoping to
change that soon. She wanted to push her body.  Cole came back a moment later
with the nurse.

“Where are you wanting to walk to?”
The nurse asked her. “I can help you around your room, but if you are wanting
to go much farther, we need to wait for physical therapy.”

“Anywhere. I just want out of this
bed.” Gwen pushed herself to the edge of the bed. She pulled her IV pole
closer. “And when can I get rid of this?” She pointed at the hanging bags on
the IV pole.

“I will talk to the doctor about
that when he gets here.” The nurse nodded and jotted a note on a small pad of
paper before shoving it back in her pocket. She helped Gwen up and pulled the
walker close.

Gwen didn’t want the walker but she
didn’t know if she would be able to walk without it at this point. She was able
to make a quicker progress to the bathroom this time, then walked to the
window. While there she took a moment to look out and see they weren’t very
high up in the building and the view wasn’t anything spectacular. She turned
and made her way all the way around the bed back to where she had started. It
felt great. She felt much stronger, much steadier.

“How’d that feel?” The nurse asked
her. She had been right behind her the whole time, pulling along the IV pole and
ready to help Gwen in case she needed support.

“Amazing. It was much easier this
time.” Gwen smiled as she sat back in the bed. “Look, I’m not even exhausted.”

“That’s great.” The nurse pulled
her little pad of paper out again and made more notes. “You are progressing
wonderfully.”

“Is that normal?” Gwen frowned at
the nurse.

“Yes. Some people take a long time
to recover from being in a coma. Others don’t. It’s all about how your mind is
recovering from the damage it received. I’m sure we will have to take you for
another CAT Scan of your brain to make sure everything is looking good before
you go home. But I think you are very likely to be able to make that step, of
course the actual decision is up to the doctor though.” The nurse smiled and
left the room.

A few hours later, the doctor
stopped by. He said that as long as the scan came out good, she would be
allowed to go home. But she had to have a nurse living in their home until Gwen’s
check up in a week. At that point, they would reevaluate.

By that evening, Gwen was tucked
into Cole’s bed. Coming in the house had brought back more memories of Cole and
the beginning of their relationship. Those memories only helped her fall in
love with him all over again. Not to mention, he had been by her bed just about
every day while she’d been in the hospital and always jumped to make sure she
had the best care or anything that she needed.

He was even now sitting next to her
in the bed, typing on his laptop. Gwen was laying on her side, looking up at
him. He stopped and looked down at her. “Yes?”

“Just looking.” Gwen smiled at him.

“Well, don’t let me interrupt.” Cole
laughed and typed a few more words before closing his laptop. He placed it on
the nightstand next to him before sliding down in the bed to lay face to face
with her. “Is this better?”

“No. I can’t see my favorite part
of you now.” Gwen grabbed the covers and flipped them back off his chest. She
put her hand on the center of his chest. “Here. This is my favorite part of
you.”

“My pecs? Yea, they are pretty
nice.” Cole flexed them under her hand, making her laugh. “And here I always
thought my eyes were your favorite.”

“Mmm. Yes, those would be my
favorite physical thing about you. But it is your heart that is my favorite.”
Gwen’s hand slid up to his neck, her thumb rubbing the stubble over his jaw. “I
love you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done for me,
even when I didn’t know who you were.”

“I love you too. And I must say as
glad as I am that you remember me. I would have had just as much fun finding
ways to make you fall back in love with me all over again if you didn’t. There
wasn’t ever a moment that I doubted that I would have you in my life forever.
No matter what I had to do.” Cole brushed his fingers along her cheek, tucking
a strand of hair behind her ear.

Gwen inched forward in the bed and
slipped her leg between his and wrapped her arm over his back. Her face was
inches from his. Their breaths mingled as their eyes took in one another.
“Forever.”

“Forever.” Cole repeated back and
closed the gap, pressing his lips firmly to hers. Their first kiss since
everything had happened. He pulled back after a moment but she moved forward,
keeping her mouth on his. Her lips separated slightly. Her tongue flicked out
to rub across his closed lips. Asking for more.

Gwen groaned when his soft lips
separated and his tongue met hers. Her hand slid up his muscular back to sink
into his hair. She pulled him to her. Cole’s hand was resting on her hip, lightly.
He was letting her lead. Gwen could feel just how aroused he was as it was
pressing hard into her thigh. She pulled away and moved to lay on her back.
“Cole?”

“Yes?” Cole cleared his throat.

“Touch me. I want your hands on me
the way I remember them.” Gwen grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over
her head. Cole groaned and closed his eyes.

“Gwen. We can’t. Trust me I want to,
god how I want to. But I don’t feel right. You just got home.” Cole bit his
lip. He couldn’t even believe the words he was saying.

“Okay.” Gwen’s eyes teared up. She
rolled away from him, giving him her back. “Just go to sleep then.”

“No, no baby.” Cole moved up behind
her, pressing his whole body to her back. He kissed the side of her head and
sat up on his elbow. “No crying. I’m sorry. We can do whatever you want. Just
no more crying.”

“God. I just want my life back. I
want to be back where I was before all this happened. I want to make love to
you. I want to remember McKayla. I want to be pregnant with our babies. I’m so
tired of being this half person whose body forgot how to do mundane tasks.
Whose brain forgot my whole life and I’m having to slowly remember who I was,
who the people in my life are.” Gwen sobbed. She slapped her palm on the bed.
“I want him caught. I want him to stop being able to take things from my life.
I want to know why he chose me. Why is it my life he had to destroy over and over?”

Cole held her tight as she
continued to sob and shake as everything came out of her. When she had quieted,
he moved back and tugged lightly on Gwen’s shoulder so she rolled on her back. He
looked down at her. Using the tips of his fingers, he brushed away the tears on
her cheeks. “He will pay for his crimes. Trust me, I will not fail you twice.
Now forget about him, push him from your mind. Remember the good things in
life.”

“So easy to say.” Gwen sniffled and
tried to smile, but failed. “I wish it was so easy.”

Cole rolled on his back and tugged
Gwen’s hand so she rolled onto her side facing him. He smiled at her. “Just
think about…” He pulled her hand up to his chest. “This.” He flattened her hand
over his heart. “And if it helps, you can think about these…” He laid his hand
over hers and slowly pushed her hand down his chest and over his washboard abs.
“If these don’t help, I suppose you could think about this.” Cole pushed up and
kissed her softly. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. Pulling back just
barely, his green eyes meeting her brown ones. “Well, if none of that helps.
You’ll have to try really hard, but I know you can do it. Think about this.” He
pressed his lips to hers, opening them and sliding his tongue into her waiting
mouth. His hand returned to her hand still on his abs and slowly slid her hand
down over his shorts to stop on his throbbing erection.

Gwen instantly tightened her hand
over him and let out a moan. Cole’s hand rubbed up her arm to her shoulder, his
mouth never leaving hers. Gwen’s hand returned to his stomach, slowly tracing
over every bump and dip of his abs before returning to the place over his
heart. Then it slid up to his neck. She pulled back. “I don’t want to make you
uncomfortable, especially if it is just to comfort me.”

“Gwen? Just kiss me.” Cole pulled
her head down to his. It was never that he didn’t want her. He just wanted to
make sure she was ready to be that intimate with him. Cole pressed up against
her so she rolled to her back again. He kissed down her neck as his hand
skimmed down from her neck to her breast. He gently cupped it in his hand.
Gently sucking on her neck, his fingers brushed over her nipple.

Gwen bowed her back in pleasure
from the sweet light caresses of Cole’s fingers and mouth. He was trying to be
so careful with her, it brought a smile to her face. Her smile faded as a moan
escaped her lips when he pinched her nipple. His kisses moved down her chest to
her unattended breast. Gwen’s hand threaded into his hair as his tongue traced the
outer line of her nipple. It made achingly slow circles that got smaller and
smaller until finally he took her nipple in his mouth.

Cole’s fingers lightly brushed
against her stomach, moving lower until they found the band of her shorts. They
followed the line of her shorts to the other side of her stomach before
brushing back up her stomach. His head kissed down the center of her stomach as
he moved his body between her bent thighs. Once his kisses reached her shorts,
he knelt between her thighs. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever set
my eyes on. Especially when you look at me like that.”

“Topless?” Gwen raised an eye brow
at him.

“No. When you look at me with as
much love in your eyes as I have for you inside my heart.” Cole smiled as his palms
moved up and down her thighs. “Although topless does make it better.”

Gwen laughed and reached up to tug
at his shorts. When he hesitated to help, she sat up and moved her knees under
her. She reached up to place both hands on his chest before letting her hands
run over all the hard muscles in his chest and abs. Her hands slid around his
waist to push under his shorts. She gently squeezed his firm ass then pushed
his shorts down.

Cole started to say something, but
she stopped him by taking his hard length into her hot mouth. She sucked him
deep as her hand came up to cup his balls. When she pulled back, her other hand
slid up his shaft. She flicked her tongue around the thick head of him. Getting
a little taste of his precum, she took him all the way back into her mouth and
sucked hard. Cole had his hands in her hair to keep his balance as she moved up
and down on him slowly. “Oh god, Gwen. I’m not gonna last like this. It’s been
too long.”

Gwen frowned but pulled off him.
She didn’t have nearly long enough to enjoy sucking him, which she really did
enjoy. Cole lifted her up under her arms so that they were both kneeling on the
bed. His lips smashed into hers as his hands sank into her hair roughly. After
their tongues mingled and pressed against each other for a moment, he pulled
back and motioned for her to lay back.

Cole slid down the bed as she was
moving to lay down and had his mouth between her legs before she had fully
relaxed back. His tongue circled her clit as he slowly pressed two fingers into
her. Instantly, her back arched off the bed.

“Oh yes, Cole.” Gwen moaned,
fisting her hands in the sheets. He moved his tongue slowly back and forth over
her clit. His fingers sliding all the way in and out of her. She could already
feel the sizzle of her orgasm starting deep in her. As he continued to thrust
his fingers and flick his tongue, she got hotter and hotter. When his fingers
curled up to hit her G-Spot,  her orgasm burst over her and pleasure rushed
through her body. She moaned as every muscle in her body tensed and then
relaxed as pleasure unlike any other rolled through her entire body.

Cole slid between her thighs and
reached for the night stand. Gwen watched as he rolled a condom over himself
even as she was still coming down from her orgasm. “If it hurts at all or you
want to stop, tell me and I’ll stop immediately.”

“Okay.” Gwen smiled at him. She
cupped his face in her hands and brought his face down to hers as she felt the
pressure of him starting to press against her. Cole was oh so careful and slow
to enter her. Once he had slowly pulled back from her, Gwen wrapped her legs
around his waist and pulled him back into her. “Stop being so careful.”

That was what Cole needed to hear.
He started thrusting harder into her, as they looked into each other’s eyes.
After only a few thrust, they were both panting and moaning. “God, you feel so
good. I’ve missed this.”

“Me too.” Gwen was gripping his
shoulders tightly as he continued to thrust in and out of her. Her orgasm
rushed over her quickly and she moaned out, “I love you.”