Yellow (The Safeword Series, #2) (2 page)

And the truth wasn't something I was ready to admit to her...or myself.

I heard Kara's high pitched voice before I saw her and felt a measure of relief. Mallory smirked when she saw what made me relax. Kara should have had the opposite effect. My nerves should have been on edge, battening down the hatches for the invasion. If I was trying to downplay the gravity of this mystery woman, turning towards a woman I saw as my arch enemy like she was my savior wasn't the way to do it.

Kara's eyes were on her phone, completely oblivious to everything, but she somehow navigated to our table without running into any tables or unsuspecting waitstaff.

While she was oblivious to the rest of us, not noticing her wasn’t an option. She towered over most at 6’1. She kept her hair dyed cobalt blue and favored rainbow colored sundresses and combat boots, though she could hold her own in a boardroom against any opponent in a suit. Her voice was as loud as her personality, and right now, all conversation on the patio stalled as she breezed in like a tornado, uprooting everything in her path.

“Actually, I don’t care that she’s missing her kids,” Kara growled. “You should remind her that she signed a contract, and the fact we allow her to call them every night and sing them lullabies at all is a gift, not a right.”

Our waiter was on the ball, leaping to action now that the third in our party had finally arrived, but his smile stalled when Kara held out her hand, literally inches from his face, silencing him before he could get a sound out.

“I swear to God, if you tell me that Nita told that woman flying her kids in was an option-” She pulled the phone away from her ear with a scowl, then snapped it back into its permanent position: attached to the side of her head. “I’m sorry, I had to make sure you were still there because you’re silent, and you know I hate it when you go silent.”

I grit my teeth as Kara drilled the point home, repeating ‘Hello?’ with ever increasing volume, though I knew her poor assistant was still on the line. He wouldn’t dare cross Kara; she ruled the production staff with an iron fist.

“Oh, there you are. Stop apologizing. Do
not
say sorry one more time or you can pack up your shit and go back to Tacoma.” She finally turned her coal gray eyes on our waiter. His face was officially the same color as Mallory’s hair. “A vodka cranberry.” When the waiter didn’t heed her wishes without hesitation, she whipped her head to the left, asking my sister a rhetorical question. “Did I stutter?” She turned her ire back on our waiter. “Maybe English is your second language.”

“The full bar isn’t open yet,” he stammered, but I could tell his embarrassment was quickly becoming justified anger.

Kara’s hand made a reappearance. “If you can make a mimosa, you can crack open a bottle of vodka.” She pulled out the chair between me and Mallory, but she wasn’t done yelling into her phone. “No, I’m not talking to you. Just handle it. I’m busy.” She dropped her phone on the table with a clang. “Sometimes I wish I could set this thing on fire.”

“Well, if you did that, who would you yell at?” It should have been a joke, but there wasn’t an iota of humor in my voice.

Kara threw it right back at me. “And the critics say you don’t have a sense of humor.”

Mallory was usually stuck in the middle, left to referee the two of us. “Let’s not go there today, you guys,” she said evenly.

I’d never admit this to Kara, but we bumped heads because our personalities were so similar. We weren’t wrong, ever, even when we were. “I’m not going anywhere. Trust me, there’s a million other places I’d rather be, and I showed up. On time.”

Mallory frowned at me, but didn’t call me on the fact that I wasn’t being very helpful. “It’s a beautiful day-”

“Ugh,” Kara scoffed, snatching her shades over her eyes. “It’s hot, we’re all busy people, and there are no cameras rolling here.” She directed her last sentence at me. “Let’s not pretend these little meetings are pleasant. They’re not.”

Since we weren’t beating around the bush, I sank to her level. “If you weren’t damn good at your job, I would have gotten rid of you several seasons ago.”

Kara’s bottom lip jutted out in faux sadness. “Is that supposed to make me sad? That we’re not besties? I don’t care that you’re hot, or that you’re the one that gets all the glory-”

“The glory?” I snorted, not sure I was going to make it five more seconds at this table, let alone long enough to sit through her list of grievances. “You want my job? You want to look people who actually deserve to win in the eye and-”

“Tell them how the sausage is made?”

I locked my jaw, deciding that we’d just go for it. We were here, and already making a scene. I decided to embrace the madness. “I guess the meeting has begun.”

The waiter shuffled over, holding Kara’s drink and an expression so tight with anger that I felt him trembling from several feet away.

Kara didn’t wait for him to lower it to the table, plucking it right out of his hand. “Now, we can begin.” Her choppy strands flew around her head like blue flames as she whipped her attention to the waiter. “Is there a reason you’re still breathing my air?”

The kid looked ready to quit, or worse. Mallory jumped in, flashing him a smile and drawing the fire in her direction. “My egg sandwich was delicious, could you recommend anything for...” She glanced down at the menu on the table. “Dessert?”

The waiter threw a final glare at Kara, then took my sister’s olive branch. I took the opportunity to get to the point.

“I assume you didn’t ask us here today so we could catch up, so let’s get on with it, Kara.”

Kara took a loud, obnoxious slurp of her drink before she burned holes through my skull. “Can’t sneak a thing past you.” Her voice darkened, practically blotting out the sun. “And just in case it needs to be said, you can’t sneak a thing past me.”

“The word ‘sneak’ implies some degree of fear,” I fired back. “Let me assure you, I don’t sneak—and I’m not afraid of you.”

I knew that fact drove her insane; she was used to the power that fear gives, to having people scramble when she entered a room. She wanted her words to hold the same weight as if God himself was speaking.

I wasn’t capitulating to her and the fact that she nearly crushed her glass was proof that she was pissed about it. “I’m not here to argue with you, Desmond. I’m here to stress that when you go rogue and do your own thing, the rest of us are left to clean up the mess.”

She had a flair for the dramatic. “Rogue? Me finally telling a talented cook that, to be frank, is leaps and bounds more skilled than any of the five that are left, the truth-”

“If you want the truth, reality TV isn’t the place for you. The truth is painful, unhelpful, and since we’re being frank, boring.”

I tuned out the rest of the conversation, present in body only. I didn’t want to give Kara the satisfaction of knowing that she was right.

I was the one that pulled out my cellphone, scrolling to the entry I’d created for Sin. All the reasons this thing could end horribly paled in comparison to my need to explore. To figure out what it was about this woman that had gotten under my skin, closer than anyone had been in years.

I crafted my text, letting her know that this time, I wouldn’t hold back.

This time, I’d make her scream.

“I
should end this interview right here. You’ve clearly lost your damn mind.”

Haunting music drifted like smoke from the speakers overhead. The doors of the elevator were like a fun house mirror, turning our reflections into shapeless, faceless caricatures. The walls seemed to creep in with every passing moment, like some sort of tomb. None of it was nearly as frightening as the glares I was getting from Mary - and the realization that my first swing at this covert stuff had blown up in my face.

I had no idea how long until we reached our destination; the office, or the roof so she could hurl me from it...

I bit my lip and cast a cautious eye in her direction. She was a far cry from the grinning woman who greeted me with a smile as big as her curly locks. She’d even hugged me, clucking her tongue at my extended hand, surprising me with how strong she was when she nearly lifted me off the floor. She stared straight ahead now, like she was ready to get out of the elevator before she went off on me.

“M-Mary,” I stammered, wringing my hands because honestly, I had no idea what else to do with them. “I’m sorry I lied about the bathroom thing-”

“What else are you lying about, I wonder?”

Her question was rhetorical, but I answered anyway, probably too quickly to be trusted.

“N-nothing,” I said weakly. “I...I wouldn’t lie to you...”

I didn’t finish. I was literally lying right that moment. I wasn’t there to interview because I was an eager sub with bills to pay and kinky itches to scratch. The other reason I didn’t bother wasting her time with excuses and reasons was because she struck me as a woman who could weed out BS, and had zero respect for people who insulted her intelligence, or wasted her time.

So I told her the truth.

Well, most of the truth.

“I did lie.”

My voice was tentative, conciliatory, but I didn't shy away when she cut her eyes in my direction. I needed to show her that I could be trusted. Avoiding her like I had something to hide would just make her more suspicious.

“I don’t have nearly as much experience as I said in my email.”

Her ebony eyes narrowed until they were slits of skepticism. She reached past me to the control panel and I expected her to punch the ‘L’ button and hustle me right out of the building. Instead, she yanked the emergency stop button, bringing the elevator to a shuddering halt.

She got in my face, crossing her arms against her ample chest. “This is your final opportunity to convince me that you’re the right fit for Hush.” She made a decapitating motion with her pointer finger, her crimson, razor sharp nails glittering. “We can’t have hostesses kicking ass while they’re on the clock.” Her midnight eyes softened. “Even if they deserve it.” She relaxed her arms, but she didn’t move an inch, making me take a small step backward.

She didn’t have to spell it out for me. This was my shot, and not just my shot to prove that I belonged, but that I could do this; could do what it took to write this story.

I wiped my clammy palms on the front of my skirt, my nerves trying desperately to do me in. They listed off all the reasons I would fail; that I wasn’t tenacious enough. Sexy enough. Just...
anything
enough.

When I silenced my insecurities, I knew exactly what I needed to say.

“My ex-boyfriend is the one who introduced me to the lifestyle.” It was a lie, but the negative energy that his memory evoked was very real. Powerful enough that she, or anyone who had given their all to a man who didn’t deserve it, could instantly relate. “I thought being submissive was always saying yes; to let him use me and if I let him hurt me, maybe he’d love me.”

Tears blurred my vision and I had no idea whether Mary was buying it or waiting for me to finish so she could get on with her night. I was lost in the fact that the bits of truth hiding in the lie, that my ex used me, and made me feel like I was worth less than nothing if I wasn’t his version of perfect, still had the power to bring me to tears - and I’d ended things over two years ago.

Realizing that the only story I’d given Mary confirmed that I wasn’t stable enough for this job, I sniffled and rolled my shoulders back. I put the past behind me and focused on the future.

“But my story has a happy ending. I finally found the strength to leave him and met a guy who showed me that my ex wasn’t a Dom at all. He nurtured my need to give over control and taught me to trust again.” I fast forwarded to tonight and my altercation a few minutes ago. “That man tonight, he triggered something in me when he grabbed me like he owned me. He reminded me of my ex.” I clenched my teeth, letting my very real disgust flicker all over my face. “I didn’t speak up until my ex nearly ruined me and...’not again’ screeched through my head. I dropped my chin to my chest. “I’m not proud of what I did.”

Silence followed my confession and when I drew my eyes from the floor to meet Mary’s, the smile she’d first greeted me with was back with a vengeance.

“Between you and me, that man was overdue for an ass kicking. That you were the one to do it is something you should be
very
proud of.” Her smile remained, but a bit of the glow dimmed. “We all have baggage; pasts that haunt us. Sometimes it’s just a whisper here, a jump scare there, a full on paranormal mess that drags you back to some really unpleasant shit.” She disengaged the emergency stop and the elevator rumbled back to life. “But the minute you let the past possess you, that sucker who broke your heart wins.”

We stopped on the fifth floor and she stepped out first. I waited, still unsure of where I stood with her.

Mary perched a hand on her hip, giving me a steely look. “You still want this job, or do you want your ex to take this chance from you?”

“Hell yeah, I want this job,” I answered without hesitation. I followed her, excitement popping in my chest like fireworks.

I passed the test.

****

“G
irl, the Doms are gonna eat you alive tonight.”

I was in the office with Mary, blushing like crazy. Considering she was the personification of sexy, it was quite the compliment. Her dark hair was in chunky, thick plaits that weaved around her head. Her makeup was perfect, accentuating her high cheekbones and rosy red lips. She wore a lacy, black mask that enhanced her big, brown eyes and a black dress that put every other black dress to shame. She was
Beyoncé
level gorgeous, with the personality to boot, and she was telling me that
I
would have problems keeping men away?

I fixed my wig, even though I knew it wasn’t out of place. That led to me tugging at my skirt, even though it wouldn’t go down any further unless I was pulling it off altogether. It stopped below my buttocks and suddenly that seemed way too short. “You’re just being nice.”