Yes, No, Maybe (15 page)

Fuck, Nick groaned inwardly. He really needed to learn to shut his big mouth. “It was nothing.”

“You know why she went out with that girl, don’t you?” Nick stared at him in silence. “Nick, I need your help here! She’s been behaving strangely ever since that night. I need to know what happened!”

“Strangely how?”

“She’s...it’s like she’s cut herself off from everything. She’s here but she’s not. We haven’t kissed in days, haven’t had sex. I...I tried to make love to her yesterday and she agreed but she just laid there.

Laid there! Mia! Do you know how unbelievable that is? And here I was, doing everything I know she

likes but she wasn’t responding. She wasn’t even moving! She was just lying there, like a freaking doll!”

“Kev—“

“And you know what? I tried, I used a toy and it worked. Yeah me. I got her to come. And it was

pathetic. It was like...not even a wave, it was so weak! And then I fucked her and it was as if I was

raping her. My own wife!”

“Kevin, stop—“

“So you see, I really need to know what happened that night. I don’t know what you’ve been hiding but

you have to tell me. Something needs to happen before I blow a fuse. I love her but I’ve reached my

limit.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do. I love her but I’ve been living with a ghost for the past few days and I can’t take anymore. I

can’t.” His voice broke on the last word.

“I’m sorry.” Nick leaned forward. “I’ll tell you everything that I know.”

And he did.

“What is this? An intervention?” Mia tried to slam the door in their faces but they were a lot bigger

than her. It was yanked out of her hand as they pushed it open once more and stepped into her office.

“Yes, it is. We’re going to talk.”

“No.”

Kevin stared back at her, hoping to see fire in her eyes but there was nothing there. Just that blank

expression that he’d grown accustomed to over the past week. “I’m not giving you a choice, Mia.”

“Why is he here?” She didn’t turn to look at Nick but her voice was frosty.

“Because he’s involved in this. Isn’t he?”

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Nick tried to grab her left hand in his but she took a quick step back and

avoided his touch.

“Don’t call me that!”

He blinked, startled by her obvious anger. “I’m sorry I was rude last time. I didn’t deal with the

situation very well, I mean I should have explained why I didn’t want you there but—“

She cut him off, “I don’t care. You need to leave.”

“He’s not leaving.” Kevin came to stand in front of the door, barring the way.

Mia shot him a glare but he didn’t back down. “I was talking to the both of you. I want you to leave this room. This is my office and I have work to do.”

“Cut the bullshit, Mia. You don’t order us around—“

“Like you do me?” Her voice rose and finally, finally, he could see a spark in her eyes.

So maybe this was the way to go. Anger her so much she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from

reacting. ”I’m your husband. It’s my right to order you around if I want to. You pledged it on your life, remember?”

“I didn’t do any such thing! Fuck, who do you think you are?”

“Your husband?” he replied, his tone sarcastic.

Her eyes widened. “Get out of here.”

“No.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “We’re going to talk about this, Mia. Nick told me about your

plan, what you wanted to do with that girl. Al’s girlfriend.”

“He what?” She whirled around and was on Nick in an instant. “You told him? You fucking told him?”

She slapped her palms on his chest, taking him by surprise and sending him bumping into the nearest

wall. His head crashed into a painting with a loud sound and he groaned in pain. “Nick?” She stopped

short in the middle of the room, staring at him as if he was a ghost. “Nicky? Did I hurt you?”

“Ouch.” Nick’s eyes were still closed as he cupped the back of his head with a shaky hand. “Fuck, that

hurt.”

“Nicky?”

“I’m okay,” he replied, opening his eyes to look back at her. “You pack a punch, babe.”

“I’m sorry. I…I overreacted.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You didn’t. You were right to get mad at me. I hadn’t thought I’d need to

ever tell Kevin about what you’d planned but look at you, baby. You’re not yourself, can’t you see?”

She wrapped her arms around her and turned her head so she could look out the window.

Kevin sighed as he took in her countenance. He’d thought what’d just happened with Nick had gotten

through to her, that she was back with them but no. One mention of that night and she was gone.

Again. “Mia?” He stepped behind her and dropped a soft kiss on her hair. “Stay with me. Stay with us.”

She sighed. “I don’t understand.”

“Just tell me your version of that night, that’s all I want to know.”

“And then you’ll leave?”

Her tone was so hopeful, he felt his teeth grind together. Did she really want out so bad? Maybe

leaving her was the right thing to do after all. “Yes, I promise. We’ll leave once you’ve told us what

happened that night.” And how it managed to affect her so much she’d changed radically in the matter

of a few hours.

“Fine.” She walked around her desk and sat down in her chair. She eyed them over the expanse of

wood, her fingers laced together on top of her sketch pad. “So?”

Kevin motioned his friend to sit on the other chair and leaned back against the wall opposite her. “So,

speak.”

She took a deep breath then licked her lips before finally saying, “I thought you’d like a threesome too so I contacted Bella and asked her. She said yes but she thought we should get to know each other

better first. So I went out with her and it…let’s just say it backfired.”

“What happened?” Mia glared at him but he didn’t care. “You said you’d tell us everything, Mia.”

She had? Her mind felt blank. Maybe she had. Sighing, she traced the edge of her pad with a fingertip

and continued, “She thought it’d be a good idea to go to that supersexshop. I’m sure you know the one

I’m talking about.” He nodded but she didn’t even look up at him. “Anyhow, she wanted me to try

some stuff on and I freaked out. I suck, what can I say?”

“You don’t suck.”

“That’s exactly what I told her too.” Nick leaned forward, elbows propped on his thighs. “Don’t you

remember what I said that night, baby? That you were amazing just thinking about giving Kevin such a

present? You’ve gotta stop berating yourself!” She snorted and clearly that hadn’t been the reaction

he’d been hoping for. “What?”

“Whatever you say. Can you go now?”

“No, this isn’t everything. Is it, Mia?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t you?” Kevin advanced towards her and propped his palms on the desk, bending down so their

faces were level. “You freaked out that night. You had a nightmare, I remember that clearly. What was

it about?”

She looked away from him. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You don’t have a choice, Mia. You promised you’d say the truth, remember?”

Had she? She couldn’t remember, damn it! The fog was trying to clear inside her head and she hated

the sensation of not having that comfort blanket anymore. “Stop harassing me!”

“I’m not harassing you, I’m just asking questions. Right, Nick?”

“Right.” Came the hesitant response from their friend.

No, no, no. Nick wasn’t her friend. He was the enemy. He’d proved that when he’d pushed her out of

his house, then he’d reappeared in their bed and had told her how Bella was so much better to his

liking. How beautiful she was in comparison. How he loved her. Kevin had too. She remembered that

quite clearly.

Hold on a second. She blinked but Kevin’s hand on her chin interrupted her thoughts. “What?”

“I asked you a fucking question. What happened that night?”

“I just told you!”

“No, you forgot to tell me that Nick didn’t want you to stay in his house because he couldn’t control

himself around you. You forgot to tell me that the girl wanted to fuck you before the threesome, that

she wanted you to try on nipple clamps and that’s what made you freak. You forgot to tell me that you

thought you were a bad wife only because you couldn’t go through with it. Who do you take me for,

Mia? Do you really think I would hate you because you couldn’t let another woman touch you?”

“Yes.” Her voice had been low but he heard it clearly.

“What? You thought…what?” He felt himself lose ground. She really thought he was that insensitive.

What the fuck?

“You love Bella more after all,” she quietly added.

“Who’s Bella?”

“Al’s girlfriend,” Nick helpfully supplied, his gaze focused on her. “Why would Kevin love her more,

Mia?”

“I don’t even know her name! I’ve never even talked to her before, let alone fucked her!”

“What?” Her head jerked up at his words and she blinked, the fog clearing once and for all. “What did

you say?”

“Why do you think I love her more? Are you fucking crazy? I’m married to you, aren’t I?” Kevin’s face

had reddened and you could see a vein jerk in his neck. He looked nearly out of control.

“But you said so. You did, I remember it clearly. You made all those nasty comments about how she

looks so much better, how hot she is, how—“

Kevin roared, “I never said that! I didn’t even know about her until Nick told me the whole fucking

story!”

Mia gasped, her eyes rolling in their sockets. Oh god. “I’m sorry.” She stood up abruptly and fled the

room; nothing could stop her whirling thoughts however.

She’d gone into hibernation because of everything that’d happened that night, how bad she’d felt for

ruining it all. But the rest of it, the worst part of it, hadn’t been real. It hadn’t been, right?

She was that insane, it appeared. A sob broke out and she ran up the stairs, intent on hiding

somewhere safe. Somewhere where she could cry in peace and curse herself for the days she’d

wasted. For the pain she’d caused her husband.

And all because she’d hated herself, just like always.

“I give up.” Kevin plopped himself down on the sofa, bourbon splashing on his fingers.

“No, you don’t,” Nick replied as he sat down opposite him, eyeing his friend over his glass. “She needs

time to come to terms with it.”

“She thought I’d fucked that…that whore!”

“No, she dreamt about it. There’s a difference.”

“No, there isn’t,” Kevin ground out. “Her subconscious told her I preferred that girl and why? Because

she’s thin and has perky tits? Because she’s bi? What the fuck? I’m not that fucking shallow!”

“She knows that, Kev. Just give her time.”

“I’m tired of giving her time.” He downed his glass and got up to serve himself another. “She obviously

doesn’t think she’s good enough for me and I’m fucking tired of proving it to her.”

“Kev—“

“No, Nick, I know you want to see her happy but she’s gone too far.”

“She wasn’t in her right mind, come on! What are you gonna do? Throw away all these years because

of one little mishap?”

“One little mishap? Fuck you, Hamilton! Do you know how hard it’s been all these years, reassuring her

left and right that I loved her? That she was good enough for me? And for what? For her to believe the

contrary as soon as something bad happens?”

“I get that you blame yourself for it, Kevin. I know you, you hate being the one instigating all this—“

“I didn’t instigate anything!”

“Yes, you did. You were the one who came up with the List. You were the one who ordered her to go

to a sex party, knowing perfectly well what would happen there considering you’d been to Charlie’s

before!”

“Fuck you.” Kevin glared at him but he didn’t leave.

Nick considered his stern expression and sighed. “Come on, man, you knew how she was before you

got married, didn’t you? And yet, you still loved her.”

“And what did that get me?”

“Stop being so fucking dramatic.” Nick finally snapped, his blue eyes stormy. He stood up and started

pacing the room. “I don’t know why you’re so mad about this. So what if she’s not sure of herself in

public? You know she lets go once she knows people well. And come on, it’s not like she’s like this all

the time. She’s a fucking sex goddess!”

“A what?”

“Stop interrupting me! You knew she wasn’t like any of the usual girls you dated, you knew she

wouldn’t fit in your group of friends but you married her anyway!”

“Because I loved her!”

“My point exactly!”

Kevin stared back at him, his fingers clenched so tightly around his glass it shattered, broken pieces

drifting down his legs to pool on the floor.

“Just think about the rest of your life, Kevin. I know sex is important to you and all but she’s more than that. She’s your wife, the mother of your future children. She takes care of you when you’re sick. She

even got a nurse outfit just to please you!”

“I know.” Kevin sighed, his eyes downcast. He was trying to think where the broom was but for the life

of him, he couldn’t remember when she usually put it.

“It’s not like she’s like this all the time. I get that she’s insecure around our group, I mean they’re not the easiest people on the planet. All the guys tend to date bunnies or whoever had the biggest tits or

shortest skirt in the club last night. Mia’s different. She only lets go in private and really, man, you should be pleased.”

“Nick, you can stop now.” Kevin’s voice was tense.

“What? Oh, sure. I just wanted to help.”

“It’s okay, you’ve done your bit. That was a very nice speech and I know how much you love her but