Yesterday, Today, and Forever (14 page)

It was Friday late in the afternoon when I arrived in San Francisco. When we approached the airport and I could discover the people waiting for the airplane down there, I looked for red stockings in the crowd, but there were none. Then I looked for a Roman collar or a driver’s cap, thinking that Father Wasner or Dave might have come, but there was no collar and no cap to be seen. How would I get the 50 miles to Los Gatos, where we had the concert that night? What a happy surprise it was then when an officer approached me with outstretched arms and a warm smile, and I recognized Father Saunders, the army chaplain who had for years helped us most generously in our Austrian relief work when he was stationed in Salzburg. While he was driving me to Los Gatos, I told him all about Martina, and then we talked about heaven.

I had just an hour to tell the family all about the last days, and then it was time for the concert. Afterward, Father Saunders joined us, and then at midnight, with the beginning of Saturday, we sang “Holy God, We Praise Thy Name,” congratulating Martina on her true birthday.

The weeks passed, and when the concert tour was over, we returned home. There is an empty place at the family table now, and an empty room, and there is a fresh grave in the cemetery, which we visit every day. The wound is wide open again.

When the cross gets very heavy, it is good to remember what St. Aloysius Gonzaga wrote to his mother 11 days before his death: “I beg you, my honored Mother, be careful and don’t withstand God’s infinite goodness by bewailing as dead one who will live in God’s presence…. Our separation will not last long. We shall see one another again in heaven and rejoice incessantly, being united with our Redeemer.”

And now, my dear friends, we want to thank you also in Martina’s name for all your prayers and words of comfort. Let us continue to pray for one another, especially for the one who will be next in our midst.

Yours gratefully,

The Trapp Family

It was about six weeks after Martina’s death. We were at home by ourselves. It was in the evening at what we call our “social hour.” We made up our family mind to spend the time between supper and evening prayer every night together around the fireplace, instead of vanishing into our different private quarters. We should really not have been in Stowe, but on the ship on the way to Australia. But the only one leaving from Vancouver was canceled, and for the second time, our tour to Australia and New Zealand was postponed. This unforeseen vacation we enjoy wholeheartedly. During the day we help finish the new wing, carpeting and painting, and in the evenings we spend a most comfortable hour together. Some are knitting or mending stockings, Verner is weaving belts on an ingenious handmade loom, which got him the nickname “Navajo Chief.” Johannes is either whittling or playing with Flockie, his Airedale terrier. Father Wasner is copying music, which doesn’t hinder him from listening to what is being talked about or read aloud, because he can do more than one thing at a time. I am either reading aloud from the day’s mail, or knitting on Maria’s sweater, a rather belated Christmas present.

On one of those evenings it was that Johannes suddenly asked, “Can Martina see us now?”

That started it.

“Yes,” I said, “I’m sure she can. Aren’t you?” And I looked questioningly from one to the other.

“Sure I am,” said Lorli. “But what I want to know is how that works. If the body is buried, how can the soul see and hear?”

“Does Martina remember everything from her life here on earth, or — does she care to remember now?” asked Hedwig.

“And if she is in heaven now, exactly what might she be doing all the time?” inquired Johannes. “Can she play with her little baby, or does she have to stand before the throne of God all the time?”

“How would she recognize Father in heaven without a body?”

“What do children do in heaven — the same as the grownups?”

All of a sudden each single one of us discovered a great many burning questions inside, but just at this moment the bell rang for evening prayer in our chapel. Someone suggested looking into Holy Scriptures for whatever answers we could find. So we divided the different books of the New Testament among us, leaving the whole Old Testament to Father Wasner. Each one was to search his portion for whatever references he could find to life after death.

All of us say most earnestly every day when we recite the Apostle’s Creed that “we believe in the resurrection of the body and life everlasting, amen.” But now we had seen how many “what,” “where,” “when,” and “how’s” there are still left to ask. Together we now looked for the answers.

Chapter 21

Blessed Are the Dead

When we met again and each brought what he had found on “life everlasting” in the pages of Holy Scriptures, we were perfectly amazed at the amount to be found. If we only listed quotations, it would make many, many typewritten pages. Once the interest is aroused in “the last things” — death, judgment, heaven, and hell — one cannot stop pondering about it. We looked through our library. We found some highly interesting books:
In Heaven We Know Our Own,
by Blot;
What Becomes of the Dead
by Arendzen; and a little old-fashioned-looking book in German by Dr. Robert Klimsch:
Leben die Toten
(“Do the Dead Live” — a collection of sworn testimonies in beatification processes).
¹

When we talked these things over — not only in one evening but during weeks and months and ever since then, now and again — there were always two effects noticeable in the soul: first, a great consolation; and second, a greater awareness of the fact that what we are pondering about now, we are going to meet one day. There is nothing really certain in our life — except death. This is the only thing I can really be sure of. I will die some day. And how will that be?

I am most grateful now for a personal experience of my own of some years ago: I
almost
died. I had been very sick, and now the end — as the doctor thought — had come. One understands that time is running short, and only in time can we do anything for Him, so every moment is precious to express one’s love and one’s complete resignation to the will of the Father.

People don’t realize how cruel they are in their wrongly understood “consideration” when they keep the priest away as long as possible from their beloved sick in order “not to excite them.” They don’t know that they deprive their beloved ones of the greatest consolation. “Is any among you sick?” writes James the Apostle. “Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven” (James 5:14–15).

I was alone in the hospital in Vienna, my family hundreds of miles away sailing in the Adria. As I lay there with eyes closed, waiting for death, I heard the doctor say to the nurse that it wouldn’t make any sense to try to contact the family. It was definitely too late for them to reach me. Although the doctor talked in a whisper, I could hear him very clearly. All my senses seemed to merge and concentrate into the one sense of hearing. I noticed that while I was opening my eyes wide, I could see nothing, although it was ten o’clock in the morning. Sight was gone. I heard the rustle of the sheets as the nurse removed them from the foot of my bed, and I heard her hand gliding over my feet and her voice when she said, “Her feet are already cold,” but I couldn’t feel it. Touch was gone.

I heard the doctor say he would give a camphor injection, and I heard the click of the needle; and although camphor has such a strong odor, I didn’t smell it. That was gone.

“Am I dying?” I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. And then hearing also stopped, and there was a silence more intense than any silence I can remember. The body might have been helpless, but the soul was wide awake and in full possession of its faculties. Undisturbed by the outside, memory was keener than ever before. And in this anguish of a last agony, the soul passed once more through it past life, seeing everything so much more clearly. Although nothing is to be seen, the soul senses very sharply the presence of an evil power which wants to influence it to give up: the sins are too many and too horrible to allow any hope. But it also senses another spiritual power present. It may be the guardian angel, soothing the soul, reminding it, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isa. 1:18), reminding the soul of the bottomless mercy and love of the Heavenly Father whom it is to meet very soon now.

And then? Well, I did not die. But for the rest of my life I shall be grateful for those most precious moments. The nurse told me afterward that for a little while they thought I was already dead.

Afterward, I found out that this seems to be a general occurrence and not just my private experience. They say the senses die slowly, one by one. Therefore, we should take great care what is said and done in the presence of the dying. While they are fighting their last decisive battle, it would mean such a help if they could hear us talk to them about the mercy of God, about having trust and confidence. One day we shall have to take that same step, too. This might be the best preparation. And when everything is over and one of our beloved has died, we should remember the words of the Revelation of John: “I heard a voice from heaven saying, ‘Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord henceforth.’ ‘Blessed indeed,’ says the Spirit, ‘that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!’”(Rev. 14:13).

Maria with Johannes at the new lodge. (Photo: Yankee Images)

Chapter 22

The Judgment

And just as it is appointed for men to die once, and after that comes judgment” (Heb. 9:27), writes Paul to the Hebrews.

The Judgment! What do we know about it? We know that we shall face two different judgments, one immediately after death, the particular judgment, and one at the end of time, together with all mankind, the general judgment.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). At the very moment after our death we see ourselves
exactly
as we are. If during the last moments while we were still breathing, our life has passed by in review, then after death our whole life is seen at once as in a flash, and it is seen
sub specie aeternitatis
— “as it will be seen for all eternity.” Happenings and things which may have been of great value to us while we were alive may dwindle into nothingness, and what we had thought of as little trifles may take on giant significance. At this very moment we shall perceive the justice of our future. The damned will be completely convinced that hell is the only place for them, and saints will want to fly to God like a particle of iron to a strong magnet.

At this decisive moment we shall not only be judged, we shall also meet our judge. The righteous ones will meet Him right away face to face. The damned will also recognize Him, and at the same instant they will want to flee from Him in terror. Who will “the One” be: the Triune God, or Christ?

Let us look at what Paul has to say:

We would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the archangel’s call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first; then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words (1 Thess. 4:13–18).

About the Last Judgment we are quite informed by our Lord Jesus Christ Himself.

When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. Then the King will say to those at his right hand, “Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?” And the King will answer the, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.” Then he will say to those at his left hand, “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.” Then they also will answer, “Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?” Then he will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.” And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life (Matt. 25:31–46).

“Why must we be judged again if we are judged immediately after our death?” asked Johannes.

The answer is that on the last day we shall rise from the dead and the Last Judgment will be after the resurrection of the body. Body and soul will be reunited, and we shall be judged as full men. After the ascension of our Lord, the angel said to the Apostles, “This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven” (Acts 1:11). “And they will see the Son of man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory” (Matt. 24:30) to judge “the living and the dead” (Acts 10:42).

All of mankind, from Adam and Eve to the very last one, shall be assembled, and the hearts of men shall lie bare for all to see. Tradition says that the Last Judgment will be on earth on the very scene of our Lord’s greatest humiliation, between the Garden of Olives and Calvary. From the Scriptures we know that all the angels, the good ones and the evil ones, will be present. “The angels that did not keep their own position but left their proper dwelling have been kept by him in eternal chains in the nether gloom until the judgment of the great day” (Jude 1:6). All of God’s intelligent creation will be there. Christ will sit on His throne, and His Apostles will also sit on 12 thrones to judge.

Then I saw a great white throne and him who sat upon it; from his presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Also another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, by what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead in them, and all were judged by what they had done. Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire; and if any one’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband; and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 20:11–21:4).