Yolo (11 page)

zoegirl:

is she still loopy?

mad maddie:

ohhhhh yeah. she kept making her crutches talk to me. as far as puppet shows go, it left much to be desired.

zoegirl:

she is so funny about those crutches. she's so proud of them! how many selfies did she post on Instagram of her and her crutches? twenty? thirty?

mad maddie:

dude, she has a hole in her foot. I think she's earned the privilege.

zoegirl:

yes. true. oh, and I sent her some chocolates from both of us, just so you're in the loop.

mad maddie:

excellent idea. thx.

zoegirl:

hey, I'm meeting Holly and Gannon in half an hour, or maybe just Holly if Gannon hasn't gotten far enough on his history paper. (omg, workload here is crazy!)

zoegirl:

and guess what else? yesterday I went to the student center with the two of them and watched a Japanese movie called “My Neighbor Totoro,” which made me cry.

mad maddie:

aw

zoegirl:

Holly's good about finding off-the-beaten-track sorts of things to do. it's cool.

zoegirl:

I feel so much better about myself, and just plain happier, now that I'm getting out and doing stuff—so thanks for making me.

zoegirl:

what about you? do you have plans?

mad maddie:

um, it's Monday, the most boring day of the week. do I need plans?

zoegirl:

I read yr tweet about how you haven't left your room except to go to class, that's all.

mad maddie:

ahhh, yr worried I'm a big fat loser. gotcha.

zoegirl:

ha ha

zoegirl:

I'm just hoping things are still going well with Zara and the Esbees, cuz I also read your earlier tweet, which was funny but also sad.

zoegirl:

who said you looked like death?

mad maddie:

Neesa, but I'm sure she meant it in a kind way. plus, I tweet for effect, you know that.

zoegirl:

“You look like death, but I mean it in a kind way”???

mad maddie:

humor! it is called humor! and she was right. I did. it happens, ok?

mad maddie:

however, altho I *was* in my dorm room for most of the day, I am now sitting in the parking lot of Roller Land, looking Very Stylish in shorts and knee-highs. my hair is even in pigtails, and I've gotta go, chickie. time to clock in for the roller derby jam I signed up for.

zoegirl:

roller derby jam?

mad maddie:

Zara begged me to. they needed a fifth skater cuz Taylor—one of the Esbees—wimped out.

zoegirl:

you, on a roller derby team. omg, that is so perfect. you will ROCK it, Mads.

mad maddie:

course I will. it's all about grabbing life by the horns, right? I am a girl of my word.

zoegirl:

you are my hero. I am in awe.

zoegirl:

what's the right way to say good luck to someone before a roller derby? it can't be “break a leg” . . .

mad maddie:

how about “knock 'em dead, tiger!”

zoegirl:

knock 'em dead, tiger!

SnowAngel:

(whisper voice) there's a dumpster behind our dorm, and guess who I just saw walking mysteriously toward it and then mysteriously away from it?

zoegirl:

I don't know! (why are we whispering?)

SnowAngel:

so that nobody hears us, silly!

SnowAngel:

IT WAS LUCY. my roommate was mysteriously lurking around the dumpster, and I must know why!

zoegirl:

maybe she was throwing away trash?

SnowAngel:

*snorts*

SnowAngel:

that's cute, Zo, but I saw no trash bag swinging casually from her hand.

SnowAngel:

also she was whistling a merry little tune. who whistles merry little tunes when she takes out her trash?

zoegirl:

how do you know she was whistling a merry little—

zoegirl:

wait a sec. Angela? if you were close enough to hear Lucy's merry little tune . . . are *you* lurking around the dumpster?

SnowAngel:

no, I'm watching from my dorm room window.

zoegirl:

then why are we whispering? ARE we still whispering?

zoegirl:

and how could you have heard Lucy's merry little tune from your dorm room window?

SnowAngel:

maybe I have extraordinary powers of hearing. did you think of that?

SnowAngel:

her mouth was pursed in an “O” shape and she was, like, nodding her head in a merry tune sort of way.

zoegirl:

wait a second. you are NOT in your dorm room, you liar! three minutes ago you updated your FB status to “soaking in the warm fall sun.” you just want me to think you're in your dorm room so I don't yell at you for not taking care of your broken foot!

SnowAngel:

perforated, not broken. and I'm using my crutches, so I am so taking care of my foot.

zoegirl:

you're only supposed to use your crutches when you have to. otherwise you're supposed to rest!

SnowAngel:

I'll rest when I die.

SnowAngel:

anyway, I like my crutches. they make ppl do things for me. and I'm not in my dorm room. fine. but I'm sitting down, which means I'm not standing on my perforated foot, so hush.

zoegirl:

wait. huh? where are you then? are you behind the dumpster too?

SnowAngel:

dude, you're complicating things unnecessarily.

zoegirl:

*I* am? *I'm* complicating things unnecessarily???

SnowAngel:

I was coming back from a meeting with my biz prof. as suspected, she didn't like my first business plan proposal, so she made me come up with a better idea. one that has to do with utility instead of goods.

SnowAngel:

do you know what that means?

zoegirl:

no. do you?

SnowAngel:

it means I shld capitalize on my capacity to be useful to others. it means I'll be providing a service instead of a product, which is lucky, since cute bra straps are easy to talk about but hard to make.

zoegirl:

you sound so smart, Angela. I love it.

zoegirl:

does this mean you're actually liking your business class now?

SnowAngel:

let's not go that far.

SnowAngel:

let's just say it's kinda sorta *maybe* more interesting than I first thought.

SnowAngel:

and I don't hate my prof quite so much anymore either. not that I ever HATED her, but let's just say her sensible shoes no longer bother me as much as they shld.

zoegirl:

gasp!

SnowAngel:

I know, right? anyway, she says I have ingenuity, which is crucial if you want to be an entrepreneur. it made me feel good.

zoegirl:

awww

SnowAngel:

so. was hobbling from prof's office back to my dorm room, and that's when I spotted Lucy. as I am a curious sort, I hid in a sunny spot by the dumpster to see what she was up to.

SnowAngel:

she's gone now, but I'm happy here, so . . . *shrugs*

SnowAngel:

also I'm hiding from my sorority sisters until dinner is over.

zoegirl:

why?

SnowAngel:

cuz the pledges aren't allowed to eat anything but white bread and American cheese sandwiches for an entire week. I'm only one day in, and . . . yeah. not working for me.

zoegirl:

is this another hazing-that-isn't-hazing ritual?

SnowAngel:

I assumed it wld turn out to be fake, just like the bikini/Jell-O shot night. I assumed that when we showed up at the Zeta house this morning, there'd be a fabulous breakfast buffet waiting for us.

zoegirl:

but no?

SnowAngel:

but no. just packs of cellophane-wrapped sandwiches. each pledge gets six a day: two for breakfast, two for lunch, two for dinner.

zoegirl:

disgusting

SnowAngel:

yeah, so I ordered chicken fingers, fried dill pickles, and a steak from the Blind Pig Tavern. plus peanut butter pie. plus a 32 oz Diet Coke.

SnowAngel:

they don't normally deliver, but I sweet-talked the guy who took my order into making an exception.

zoegirl:

where is he going to deliver it TO? the sunny spot behind the dumpster?

SnowAngel:

NEAR the dumpster, and yeah. I said to look for the girl in the sparkly tank top with crutches.

zoegirl:

two things: 1) drop out of your sorority, and 2) I'm glad you ordered some real food, but you need to eat a fruit or vegetable!

SnowAngel:

yr so funny. a pickle IS a vegetable, silly!