Yon Ill Wind (20 page)

Mom had evidently heard and adjusted in the smooth way of her kind.  “We shall be glad to come in, Electra.

But we do have important business, so can't stay long.”

“Yes, the Good Magician sent Grey Murphy to attend to it,” Electra said.  “He will talk with you as soon as you're ready.  Come on; I'll show you where.”

They piled out of the RV.  Karen lifted Trenita carefully down to the floor, and then to ground outside; the imp lady had made it clear she appreciated such no-fuss assistance in the giant human realm.

“Oh, an imp lady!” Electra exclaimed happily.

“I am Trenita Imp of Erial Village,” the woman said formally.  “I guided the Mundane family here.  I will not be able to return immediately, so I hope it is not an imposition if I remain for a few days.”

“Oh, no, it's great having you,” Electra said.  “We have lots of space, and you won't take up much of it.” She turned to the prince.  “Dolph, why don't you give Trenita Imp a ride to the magic mirror, so she can tell her village she's safe?”

The young man became an imp-sized centaur.  “Get on my back, and I'll carry you there,” he said.

“Thank you so much,” Trenita said.  Karen lifted her to the creature's back, where she got a good handful of mane to steady herself.

“But don't get fresh with me, because my wife would screech,” Dolph said, smiling.

“I will not!” Electra screeched after them.  Then she broke out laughing, and the rest of them joined in.  Princess she might be, but she was obviously a fun person.

“If you don't mind my saying, you are the happiest Princess I have met,” Mom remarked.

“Thank you,” Electra said happily.

They followed her to the castle.  Karen looked longingly back at the pie trees, but realized that they would have to wait, though she was suddenly ferociously hungry.

As they approached the moat, a horrendous green head rose out of the water.  Karen screamed, and the others stepped back.  “Oh, that's just Soufflé,” Electra said.

“Castle Roogna's moat monster and baby-sitter; he loves children.” She raised her voice.  “It's okay.  Soufflé; the Good Magician knows about these Mundanes.” The monster nodded and disappeared back under the water.

They crossed the drawbridge and entered the castle.  It was huge, with stone passages leading in assorted directions.  There were tapestries on the walls and thick rugs on the floors.  Karen loved it at first sight.

“Right this way,” Electra said, stepping into a side passage.  In a moment they were in a nice bathroom, with sinks and mirrors and all.

“We really should change our clothes,” Mom fussed, “if we are to meet royalty.”

“We already met it,” Karen reminded her.

“Wash your face and get your hair done,” Mom snapped.  But her tone had no edge.

Soon they were reasonably ready.  They returned to the main hall, where Electra waited.  “The King and Queen will see you now,” she said.  “Then you can have breakfast.”

Karen was glad of that, and knew the others were too.

They entered a spacious hall.  There were a number of people there.  “How are we supposed to address them?” Dad whispered urgently.  “We don't wish to give offense, but—”

“Just speak when spoken to,” a voice said beside them, startling them.  Karen looked, but there was only a vase.

There turned out to be no difficulty.  The King was striding toward them, with Trenita Imp on his shoulder.

“Hello, Mister.  Baldwin,” the King said, extending his right hand.  “I am King Dor.  We are very glad to see you.”

“You can say that again,” the voice said.  This time Karen was sure it was the vase.  There must be something in it.

Dad shook hands with the King.  “Thank you, your majesty,” he said.  “We—”

“Oh, just call him Dor,” the vase said.  “Everybody does.”

The King smiled.  “I should explain that my magic talent is speaking to the inanimate, and having it answer.  At times it gets rather impertinent.  But the vase is correct; we prefer informality, especially since our business is urgent and vital to the welfare of Xanth.  Standing on ceremony takes too much time.”

“Thank you—Dor,” Dad said.

“This is my wife, the Sorceress Irene,” the King said.

A rather pretty woman of about Quieta Imp's age stepped forward.  Her hair was distinctly green, much more so than Chlorine's yellow-green, but less luxuriant.

Dad introduced the members of the family, but it appeared that the King already knew them, or at least Trenita was whispering them in his ear.  Even the pets.

Then the King got to business.  “The Good Magician informs us that you and a woman called Chlorine are able to help Xanth in a way that no others can, but that you need a guide to Mount Rushmost, where the winged monsters congregate.”

“Winged monsters!” Mom exclaimed.

Queen Irene touched her arm reassuringly.  “They are not our enemies, in this crisis; they wish to save Xanth as much as we do.  Indeed, Roxanne Roc herself is now fetching your friends to that place.”

“A rock?” Mom asked.

Karen nudged her.  “The big birds.”

“But the winds are now so high, and the magic dust so pervasive, that it isn't safe to let the rest of you travel that way,” King Dor said.  “So we are arranging for you to use one of the demon tunnels.  However, not all demons can be trusted, especially in heightened madness, so we are trying to locate one who can.”

“I can do it,” a handsome man said, stepping forward.

The King shook his head.  “We must keep you here at Castle Roogna, Prince Vore, as liaison with the demons. We can trust no one else in this particular crisis.”

The man nodded and stepped back.  “He's a demon,” the vase murmured.  “Wait till you see his wife.  Princess Nada Naga.”

“So we shall now adjourn to the dining room, while we wait for the demoness to arrive,” the King said.  “We realize that all this may be somewhat confusing to you, especially the children, so Jenny Elf will assist you.”

A girl no taller than Karen stepped forward.  Her ears were pointed and her hands had only four fingers, including the thumb, but apart from that, she seemed normal.

She even had freckles, like Electra's.  “I was new to Xanth too,” she said.  “I'm Jenny, from the World of Two Moons.”

Karen seized her opportunity.  “Can you find us chocolate pies to eat, instead of healthy adult stuff?”

Jenny glanced conspiratorially around.  “Sure.  I'll tell the kitchen.” She slipped out.

They took places at a huge table.  Dad, Mom, and Sean were absorbed in deep discussion with the King and Queen, not paying attention to anything else, which was a good sign.  They didn't notice when a maid brought chocolate pies and chocolate milk for Karen and David, and dishes of dog, cat, and bird treats for the pets.  Jenny Elf joined them, having some pie herself.  And her cat, Sammy, joined the pets, seeming to get along well enough with Midrange.

Soon they were full to bursting with pie.  Boredom was hovering like a specter.  The adults remained oblivions.

“What's there to do around this joint?” David asked in his crude boyish way.

“Joint?” Jenny Elf asked, perplexed.  “Joy'nt Bones is not here.”

“A Mundane term for a lovely castle,” Karen said quickly, shooting a dark look at her half brother.  Sometimes she wished he were a quarter brother, or eighth brother.

“Would you like to meet the children?” Jenny asked.

“No!” David said.  He was Being Difficult.

“No, he would rather see the Magic Tapestry,” Karen clarified.  “But I would love to meet the children.”

“Right this way,” Jenny said.  She set off across the hall, and they followed her, and the four animals followed them, and the adults never noticed their departure.

Jenny showed them upstairs to a pleasant room.  There on the wall was a huge Tapestry, depicting endless scenes of Xanth.  “It will show anything you want,” she explained.  “Just concentrate.”

David concentrated.  Suddenly the entire Tapestry went dark and stormy, with angry flickers of lightning.  There was the odor of burning hemp, and a faint fuzzy image of a pair of scorched panties.

“Except Adult Conspiracy stuff,” Jenny added.

“Oh.” David did not look pleased.  It was all Karen could do to keep from giggling.  Served him right!

Midrange looked at the Tapestry.  It clarified into a picture of the cat-a-pult, a monstrous cat with a basket on its tail.  Then Woofer looked at it, and a pack of wolves appeared, turning human as they came upon a human village.

Then Tweeter looked, and the Tapestry sky filled with great birds, orienting on some hapless land-bound creature below.

Jenny drew Karen away.  “That will amuse them for some time,” she whispered.  “Sammy will find more interesting things for them, if they don't.  He can find anything but home.”

But Tweeter saw them going, and flew to rejoin Karen.

That pleased her.

They went to another room, and received a cheery “Come in!” in response.  They went in, and there was Princess Electra braiding the hair of two sweet little girls not a whole lot younger than Karen herself.  One had golden light hair, and the other had shadowy dark hair.

“These are Electra's children.  Dawn and Eve,” Jenny said.  “Dawn can tell anything about any living thing, and Eve can tell anything about any inanimate thing.  They are both Sorceresses.”

“Hi Dawn; Hi Eve,” Karen said.  She was amazed that they could be Electra's, because Electra seamed so young and carefree.

The two little girls turned suddenly shy, letting half a titter escape.  Electra smiled.  “They don't see many little girls here.  Ask them to tell you about something animate or inanimate.”

“What about my bird?” Karen asked.

Dawn smiled and lifted her hand.  Tweeter flew to it.

“Oh!  You are from beyond Xanth,” the girl said.  “You were hatched from the third egg in your mother's nest and taken to a nasty cage, where Karen rescued you, two years ago.” It was clear by the bird's reaction that this was accurate.  “Since then you have been happy, except that she goes away every day and leaves you in a cage.”

“I have to go to school,” Karen protested.  “I'd rather take Tweeter with me, but the school won't let me.”

Tweeter nodded, forgiving her, and flew back to her hair.  Now Karen dug into her pocket and brought out her nylon comb.  She passed it to Eve.

The girl focused on the comb.  “You are strange,” she said.  “You started as a blob of goo buried deep in the ground, until a big pipe sucked you up, and you got run through something like a dragon's gut and then got squeezed out into the form you have now.  Karen found you in a drawer with many other combs just like you, but now you are the only one for her.  Once she lost you under the—under a moving house—but found you the next morning.  You have combed out forty-one snarls, a hundred and forty-two tangles, and several thousand curls, but are ready for more.  None of them lived, for some reason.”

Karen was impressed.  She hadn't counted the snarls and tangles, but the numbers sounded right.  And she had indeed once lost the comb under the RV, and found it by chance in the morning.  Eve had gotten all that just from holding the comb for a moment.  “The snarls and tangles didn't live because they weren't in Xanth,” she explained.

“In Mundania, they are just pulled hair.”

“Oooo,” both twins said with big-eyed horror.

“Why don't you girls go see the triplets?” Electra suggested.  “I have to get princessly.”

“Sure!” the twins said together, and dashed for the door.  All their shyness had vanished after they demonstrated their talents.  Jenny and Karen followed.

They went to another room.  There was a big basket swinging gently from a tripod.  In it were three little babies.

“These are Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm,” Jenny said.

“They are too young to show their talents, but we found out anyway.  Whatever they sing and play together will become real.  When they are separate, their individual talents will be less.  But since they'll mostly be together, it's a very strong talent.  The centaur tutors will have a time making them behave!”

“That's a lot of magic,” Karen said, impressed.

“Hello.” It was an adult woman whose waist-length hair was light and very faintly green.

“Oh, hi.  Princess Ivy,” Jenny said.  “We were just admiring the triplets the stork brought you.  This is Karen Mundane.”

“So I gathered,” Ivy said.  “With a bird.”

“He's Tweeter,” Karen explained shyly.  “My brothers have a dog named Woofer and a cat named Midrange, so—” But she saw that the woman didn't understand.

“They're Mundane words.”

“I can see why the dog and bird would be named as you have them,” Ivy said.  “But shouldn't the cat be Meower?”

Karen tried again.  “In Mundania, a speaker system— that is, something that makes sounds—has a big cone called a woofer, and a small cone called a tweeter, and a middle cone called a midrange.  So—”

“Oh, I see!” Ivy exclaimed.  “Midrange.  How clever.”

But she seemed a bit uncertain.

“Let's go see Demonica,” Dawn said brightly.

“Yes, she's more fun,” Eve said darkly.

They headed for another room.  Karen paused.  “ 'Bye, Mrs.  Ivy,” she said politely.

“You're welcome,” the Princess said with an obscure smile as they left.

“When it's the wrong time of the month, we call her Poison Ivy,” Jenny confided in a whisper.  Karen would have laughed, but she wasn't sure it was funny.  What did the time of the month have to do with anything, unless it meant a holiday?

Demonica turned out to be the half-demon daughter of Prince Demon Vore, whom they had seen downstairs, and Princess Nada Naga, a woman who would have popped Sean's eyes right out of their smoking sockets.  She was rocking her baby as they entered, but was willing to let Karen hold her.  “But aren't you afraid I'll drop her?”

Karen asked.

“No, she would just bounce back up,” Nada said.

Karen was set back.  “Is that a joke?”

Nada smiled.  “No.  Demonica's demon heritage prevents her from being physically harmed by such things.

She can become tenuous or solid, as she chooses.  She can't do it as rapidly as her father can, of course, but it does protect her.  However, I agree; it is better not to drop her.”