Yorkshire (22 page)

He pushed, gently at first, then gave one hard thrust.

Pain shot through me and I cried out into his mouth. He broke away, gazing down at me with concern. “Never again. I’ll never hurt you again, my sweet love, my angel. I swear it.” He soothed me with words and hands, stroking my hair, softly kissing my face.

He shifted to let me know he was still inside me, but didn’t try to move any deeper until I kissed him back, in an attempt to let him know my desire for him had grown again. “Richard. Love me.”

“I do. I will.” Smiling, he did as I asked, and thrust deeper, until he was fully seated inside me, then withdrew, only to push inside again. The heat that suffused my body became more focused on the place where we met, where his body invaded mine and radiated out once more, sending shivers through me. I braced my body against the bed, used my feet to gain purchase to push up as he drove into me, until we achieved a rhythm.

His movements became stronger, more urgent as my body dampened and made his passage easier. I rejoiced in his power, his control. The waves of warm ecstasy, strengthened, grew and spread until they racked my whole body with agonising joy. I could only feel, gasp and arch my body under him. He watched me as I laughed in delight before the thrills cascading through my body escalated to one hard wrench and my body convulsed in response to his thrusts.

He seemed relentless. He caressed and kissed me, pushed me to greater and greater heights until I thought I would die of pleasure, but I didn’t care.

All at once, with a great cry, he closed his eyes and gripped me tightly as he sank down over my body, engrossed in his own little death. His shaft pulsed inside me, urging me to another climax of sensation.

It was as well we were alone on this floor, or someone would have heard us for sure.

We lay still, panting, then he moved to one side and, took his weight off me. He gathered me back into his arms and kissed me lovingly, murmuring endearments I heard properly now. “My heart’s treasure, oh my dearest love.”

I felt warm, wanted, feelings entirely fresh to me. I lay against him, and luxuriated in the newness of my body.

I shivered when the sweat chilled on me, and Richard drew the covers over us, returning to hold me. He kissed me again, slowly, then opened his eyes and gazed at me. We stared at each other.

I smiled. “And this is it?” I knew full well it was.

“Yes. This is it. This is why I’ll never let you go, why I’ll love you until I die. If you planned to capture me completely, you’ve achieved it now.”

“No, that wasn’t my plan, I only wished to know why I felt like I did. Now I know. I understand some other things too. My whole world has changed.” Wonder filled me when I realised that was no more than the truth. I understood him, understood myself and I would no longer doubt his intentions. He gave himself to me just as much as I did to him. Naked and open to each other, I knew what he’d told me was nothing less than the bare truth.

He laughed then, a long slow chuckle of sheer pleasure. “I adore you. Leaving will only be bearable if I’m sure you’ll welcome me back.”

I studied his dear face; short, fair hair tousled, nothing but love in his eyes, he seemed much younger than his thirty years—very different from the creature who had amazed and intimidated me on our first day here. “How can you say such a thing?” I was sure of him now as never before. “Wherever I am I’ll always welcome you, in my heart and in my bed.”

“That’s more generosity than I’ve any right to expect.”

I laughed. “Pooh! Many women opened their beds to you before. This isn’t new to you.” But my words were more in the nature of a tease than a demonstration of the doubts I’d had before we’d made love.

He kissed me tenderly. “No one with as much to lose, no one who showed me such trust before. But you won’t lose, my sweet life. I promise you now—in six months we’ll be married. We’ll spend every night together, if you wish it.”

I caught my breath, sure something would go wrong, to stop this pure delight we found in each other. This couldn’t possibly be for me. The obstacles waiting outside this little room might defeat us yet, but I would always have this. I was so glad I’d had the courage to go through with it.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know if you wanted me forever, but it didn’t seem important any more.”

“It’s important. I’ll write it down for you, if you like. Would that help you? Give you some proof of my intentions while I’m away, something to be sure of?”

I shook my head. “I don’t need proof, other than this.” I meant it, too. I was as sure of him now as I was of myself.

He touched his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, passion assuaged for the present. “We might cause scandal, but I don’t care any more. My family will have to look to themselves. God knows, I owe them nothing. Except, perhaps, for my sister, Maria. I’ll be sorry if she suffers because of anything I might do.”

I, too, would be sorry to bring his younger sister trouble. But when I looked at him, relaxed and happy, I couldn’t regret what we’d done.

He smiled. “I haven’t been this out of control for years, if I ever was. We shouldn’t be here, should never have done this. But I needed you so much. You took all my senses with your first kiss, and after that, I was yours. Could you bear this, in the years to come?”

“Oh yes.”

He kissed me deeply in response, his tongue caressing every part of my mouth.

“I won’t believe it until it happens,” I said then.

“Should you mind
where
it happens?”

I didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”

“If we cause unpleasant gossip, if scandal erupts, we might be better going away, for a while. Then I’ll be the disgraced brother. I don’t want you to enter the bear pit in London without some experience behind you and I won’t subject you to that kind of attention. If Julia still won’t cry off, but makes me break the contract, would you come to Venice with me after a quiet ceremony somewhere?”

“Venice? I always wanted to see Venice,” I said happily.

“I’ve a small apartment there. It’s mine, bought with money I earned. I’ve never taken anyone else there before. It’s always been my sanctuary and I’d like to share it with you.”

“It sounds wonderful.”

He drew me to him, punctuating his words with small kisses, on my mouth and throat. “I have a great desire to make love to you in the bedroom there, with the windows open to the sound of the water, and the church bells, and the light.” I blushed, a different kind of heat suffusing me. He laughed softly. “How can you blush? Not a stitch on, and still you can blush!” He lay back on the bed, drawing me closer into his arms, one arm behind my head, the other softly caressing my body, as if he couldn’t stop touching me. I knew how he felt. I traced an imaginary line on his chest. Touching him was a joy, everything I’d thought it would be when I’d lain awake during those lonely nights since we arrived at the Abbey.

He looked around at the sparse little room. “‘For love, all love of other sights controls; And makes one little room an everywhere.’ I never knew what he meant before, but it makes sense now.”

“Who?”

“John Donne. I’ll read the whole poem to you one day.”

I was relaxed and happy, ready to explain something to him. I took a breath. “I wanted to do this now because I wanted to give you my maidenhead. I didn’t want you to take it as your right, as a husband does, I wanted it to be a gift.”

He turned his head to look me in the eyes. “The most precious possession you have.”

“Had,” I corrected him.

“It will most likely take me a lifetime to pay it back. Have you thought of that?”

I laughed. “Then you mustn’t try. I give it to you freely.”

His caresses became less gentle as the answering tingle rose within me. His skill meant I could enjoy his loving more than once—even now, my first time. I lay against him, enjoying the sensations, trying to remember them for when I was alone, though now I knew for certain he would come back for me. I watched his tender smile when he saw my reaction to his loving, and reached my hand up to him, touching the slight roughness of his cheek. He moved his head to kiss my palm.

Desire rose again within me when I felt his shaft harden against my body. I had never known anything so exciting in my life before. He leaned over to kiss me and love me again and I seemed to know what to do in return, as if it had always been there inside me and he released it all. I touched him and felt triumph when his soft groan told me just how much my touch affected him. His hands released all the sensuality I never suspected I owned.

Smiling, he paused, his hand resting on my stomach. “Can you do this? I love you so much, want you so badly but I’m afraid I’m forgetting your well-being. I’m not so far gone I can’t think of your welfare first.”

I smiled back at him, taking his hand and placing it on my breast. “I can do this.”

This time, we were not so frenzied. He had more time to love me and I him. I touched him, felt his eager response, knowing it was all for me. He kissed me, slowly, lingeringly. He kissed a nipple, suckled until it stood hard for him, leaving me gasping with desire. His hands, his graceful, mobile hands moved over me, caressing, exploring, making me feel complete.

Lifting over me, he entered me again, laughing softly when he heard my contented sigh. I opened my eyes and watched him loving me, felt his hands on my body, reached my hands up to touch him. He helped me to heights more sustained than last time, but just as wonderful. I could mark the climb, instead of plunging straight into mindless pressure. I was glad he had so much experience, so he could bring this confidence as his gift to me. Even then, I guessed it must be rare for a woman to achieve so much joy during her first encounter. I couldn’t have loved him more.

Curling my legs around his, I pulled him close when I felt his body tremble, invited him to thrust as deeply, as hard as he needed to. I had never felt so at one with anyone before. He rolled to one side, taking me with him, settling the covers over us.

Overwhelmed by ecstasy and exhaustion, I fell asleep, safe in his arms as he murmured words of love.

It was a singularly foolish thing to do.

I awoke with his hand pressing my face against his shoulder. I knew a moment of panic before I heard what he had—footsteps coming up the corridor outside towards us, the occasional opening of a door, as though someone was exploring. Then I panicked even more.

Richard prevented me from lifting my head and being recognised by whoever approached the door. He put his mouth by my ear. “Stay still, say nothing.” I rolled on to my stomach, and he pulled the covers up around me. He drew my loose hair over my face, and we waited.

I heard the door to the corridor open, and I knew someone stood there, looking at us. A breathed, “My God,” told me who it was. I moved involuntarily, but Richard’s hand pressed into my shoulder in warning.

Richard turned his face to the door. “Good afternoon.” I nearly laughed at the formality of his greeting.

“Good afternoon, my lord,” said Steven.

Chapter Fifteen

I heard Steven breathing heavily, recovering from the shock of discovering us like this. “As you can see,” Richard said calmly, once Steven had regained some self control, “your presence here is rather
de
trop
.”

“I cannot believe you would do such a thing, my lord,” Steven gasped. Agitation coloured his voice.

“Believe it,” Richard said firmly, but without heat.

“Who is it? Tell me which girl, my lord.” Typical of Steven not to forget Richard’s title.

“No. You will most likely get her into trouble with her mother or Lady Hareton. She’s mortally afraid of either eventuality. Aren’t you, my dear?” He was lucky I didn’t giggle. Shock had given me that strange impulse to laugh that comes over people sometimes. I said nothing.

“This is abominable!”

“I fail to see your reasoning, sir. True, I have taken a girl from her proper work for the day, but she didn’t object. I’ll see her well rewarded for it.”

“My lord, you have abused her ladyship’s hospitality.”

“Really? I shall apologise to her then. But I think that may cause more embarrassment than if we kept silent, don’t you think?”

I knew that Steven, having got over his initial shock, would try to make something of the situation. “As a man of God, I do not feel equal to that proposal.”

Richard laughed. “If you were a true man of God, I doubt you would chase after quite so many skirts yourself.” He had given Steven a facer, a deliberate provocation to put him on the defensive, to block further questions. It didn’t matter if it were true or not, only that Steven responded.

Steven rose to the bait. “I beg your pardon, sir, you can have no such information.” The very air bristled with his indignation.

“I’m not blind, Drury. And neither is my brother. You seem to have designs on half the females in this house. And don’t tell me you’ve not made a play for at least one of the maids, because I won’t believe it. However, I’ve beaten you to it this time, so kindly take yourself off and close the door behind you.”

“His lordship shall hear of this immediately upon his return.”