You Are Here (12 page)

“It’s okay. You can stop. Just breathe,” she said, reading me expertly and gingerly taking my face between her hands.

I let my head fall from between her fingers to settle back on the couch. Lucie pressed more firmly against me, leaving no space between us. With an elbow on the back of the couch, her fingers twirled in my hair. She completely relaxed me, and that feeling was so alien, it was almost an out of body experience. I turned my face toward her. Her mouth curved upward.

“You’re better off with
me
,” she said softly. “I’ve seen our future, Grey.
Together.
And it’s going to be amazing. No matter what you’ve done or how you got here, you’re here. You can start over with me.
Like
me.”

She pressed a kiss on my lips. “I have no memory of my life before the coma, all the details of which I promise to tell you. The point is, someone hit reset on my life, and I’m hitting reset on yours. Do-over,” she singsonged. She was so sweet.

I wanted to confess it all, but my tongue nailed itself to the roof of my mouth. I’d never been so open with anyone, but I couldn’t carry the guilt of unloading my sins onto her shoulders.

“You look so tired, why don’t you sleep? This sofa is ridiculously good for naps. I like to sleep in the red chair, but I don’t think you’ll find that as accommodating.”

I raised my eyebrows, questioning. The idea of sleeping with someone else in the room was barely tolerable, if not for that someone being her.

“Go ahead! Take your boots off, get comfy.” She stood when I failed to answer, bending down to pull on my boots. She was absolutely right about me being exhausted, though it had little to do with my incredible lack of sleep.

“I got it,” I told her, my voice shockingly gentle as I leaned down to take off my boots.

She took them and set them next to the fireplace, immediately returning to me and swatting my legs to put my feet up. Before I lay back, she kissed me first and then hugged me. Anxiety danced around the edges of my sight, but I was too distracted by the scent of her filling my head. I surrendered and wrapped my arms around her, the feelings of dread and discomfort disappearing. She hummed, seemingly willing to stay there forever, so against my better judgment, I let her. She pushed a little and we leaned back together. It didn’t go unnoticed how perfect she felt against me or how easy it was to let the world dissolve around us. Sooner than I would ever have expected, I fell asleep.

Lucie

Connection

My veins thrummed with love. Or was it just adrenaline? Maybe lust. As I swept my eyes over the sleeping body of the man I’d been aching for, but didn’t really know, I felt certain. My soul sensed its match. Of course, that didn’t mean it would be easy.

He and I coming together had every solace of coming home. The connection between us was practically corporeal, wrapping us up inside it, and with every touch, I was validated. A calm soothed and a fury ignited with just his hand in mine, and the mere thought thrilled and terrified me. Until him, I had nothing left to lose.

What would happen outside of us? He was here now, but neither of us had arrived unscathed. If his interactions with Charlotte were any indication, reintegrating with his family—my adopted family and new friends—would be nothing short of painstaking. Emphasis on pain.

I’d been so sure of it all, I blindly charged the second I saw him. The blink of time we’d had today was powerful. Even he couldn’t deny that, though he kept trying.

Realizing my mind was running in circles, I pushed my worries away for a bit and rested my cheek on the pillow to stare at my man sleeping on his side pressed up against the back of the couch. His face was so serene; I wanted so much for him to keep that when he woke. There was something dark about him. I wondered about his impromptu search of the apartment and jumpiness when I had touched his arm.

I tickled my fingers over his hair onto his face, careful not to wake him. I was desperate to touch him, my hand floating over his cheeks, the planes of his neck, chest, and shoulder. He unconsciously adjusted to pull me closer and hold me. Rushed with euphoria I was happy to become familiar with, I snuggled up and kissed his forehead, eventually settling back on the pillow. I fell asleep to his deep rhythmic breaths.

~

I woke to a dark room. We had barely moved, though his forehead touched mine. I became increasingly aware of his hand on my ass. Grey seemed to be asleep, but he was rubbing tiny circles on my butt. I smothered a chuckle, but apparently not well enough. He moved his head back, his hand halting its attention. His lids lifted to unveil those gorgeous baby blues. The humor fell from my cheeks as we stared at each other, time and space pausing as I fell in. Under fathomless depths, among the debris of his doubts, I found and lost him over and over.

Carefully, I cupped his cheek, his eyes blinking slowly while his hand moved to cover mine. The heat from his palm seared my skin, releasing a sigh that broke in the middle. Something in his expression solidified and darkened, and it was then I saw the face of a man who knew what he wanted. And he wanted me. Replying in kind with a mirroring appetite, I darted my tongue over the tender skin of my lower lip, my teeth lightly scraping after it.

He maneuvered us so that he hovered over me and settled his weight onto his arms. His eyes took in my face slowly, longingly until he seemed to break. He leaned in to brush his lips along the edge of my chin from one side to the other, eventually finding their way to mine.

The kiss was slow and intense. His mouth owned me, sending a quake from the tip of my tongue through the ends of my toes. A blast of heat rolled from the center of my chest out into my limbs.

I could feel him everywhere as we devoured each other, lost in the tactile awareness of mapping each other’s bodies. I was easily distracted by his muscles as they flexed and shifted under my fingers.

Continuing a circuit, I lightly traced around his nipple a few times before pinching lightly and rolling it between my forefinger and thumb. That broke his concentration, because he tore his lips away from my neck and sat back on his knees to tear off his shirt.

I sat up swiftly to meet him halfway, my arms wrapping around him as we reconnected. I wrapped my left leg around his waist with my right pushing against the back of the couch. Though it was a roomy couch, it wasn’t
that
roomy. I didn’t care, but as I struggled to pull his hips against mine, lack of space sent us tumbling onto the plush rug covering the hardwood floor.

I laughed until I caught myself, suddenly aware that it could break the bubble. In the parking garage, he was in a zone until that asshat coughed. To my extreme delight, he pulled me against him tightly and kissed me harder, pinning me to the floor. I moaned into his mouth and reflexively bucked against him. Then he flipped us so that I was straddling him and he helped me out of my top. I reached back, unhooked my bra, and tossed it across the room—maybe into the fireplace, I didn’t know.

A corner of his mouth turned up, earning me the appearance of a delicious dimple on his left cheek. He looked at me, really taking his time. I thought for a moment I should be self-conscious, but the fire in his eyes as they drifted over me made that impossible.

My mouth opened in a desperate gulp for breath, and his gaze snapped back to my face. Pulling me closer, our open mouths touched, sharing breath as he slipped his hands carefully up my sides to my breasts. Attentively, he caressed them gently, brushing his thumbs over my nipples and sweeping across the underside, all the while staring into my eyes. My heart pounded, my hips impatiently moved in erratic circles, and my jaw opened again from the relentless teasing.

Finally, he fused our mouths together for another ferocious kiss. It was faster, hungrier, deeper. Grinding my hips down onto him, I could feel him, firm and ready. He thrust his hips up against me and I broke, my head falling back to release an uneven cry.

Lips danced down my neck and collarbones to adore my chest and tease my nipples to attention—I could hardly catch my breath. I was on my back again when he pushed forward over me. Panting beneath him, I tried to focus on feeling what he was doing to me, and allow myself to enjoy it. But it wasn’t long before I needed more. My hands reached for his zipper, but he had moved too far down so I was just scratching at the thin treasure trail along his lower abs. He let out a chuckle, reaching down to release the button and climb out of his jeans. I glanced down and—

Fuck me, he rides commando. I just came.

A playful, lopsided grin plastered itself on his face. I realized I was unconsciously licking my lips again. Wide-eyed, I smiled and he dove in to kiss it off my lips.

I worked off my skirt as quickly as I could until he wrenched it the rest of the way off. I watched him breathing for a moment, intoxicated by his urgency as he yanked down my panties, finally working them off my legs.

No longer encumbered by our clothing, it was my turn to look. I pushed him backward to drink him in fully. Appeasing me, he sat back on his knees, gently running his fingers along the tops of my legs. Even with glimpses of him in my previews, I was much more affected in person, gazing over every facet with purpose. I sat up, moving to stand on my knees, too. I reached out, sliding my hands down his chest and stomach. He inhaled sharply as I took him in hand, wrapping my fingers around him and sliding them up and down. He closed his eyes and trailed his hands up to my shoulders.

“Shit.” His hands dropped, mine didn’t.

“That’s not sexy,” I murmured.

“I don’t have a condom.”

I giggled, happy to have a solution. “I said I was expecting you,” I said. I kissed him quickly before jumping up and running to the bedroom. I returned with a handful of condoms. He sat back on his heels and locked eyes with me. With one hand he grabbed a packet, the other pulled me back down to him.

“Fucking hell,” he said with a groan. One of his hands tangled in my hair, urging me closer. He pushed forward, leading with his chest. I grappled for leverage as I fell back again, but he had me secure, cradling my head as he set my back on the floor. My legs parted instinctively, and he took the invitation to rest between them.

With my body alit with anticipation, I kissed him breathlessly. Fingernails digging into the skin at his waist, I flattened my palms on his hips to bring him closer. He shifted and slid his fingers along the wetness before he positioned himself and slowly slid into me. I was shattered in the best way.

As natural and amazing as it felt, it was then that I realized I did not remember sex. Essentially, this was my first time—even if it wasn’t truly. I could only wish every girl felt this good losing her virginity.

“God, Lucie,” he said, his breath hot on my ear.

I dug my heels into his perfectly taut ass, but he pushed my legs higher, changing the angle and thrusting deeper. He clutched my waist with one arm, forming me to his body as we moved together. With his every thrust, I got progressively louder, and I bit at my lips to stem the volume.

But then he kissed me delicately behind my ear and said, “Go on, baby, let me hear you.”

The gravelly whisper sent shivers up my spine and with the tension coiling in my belly, I acquiesced with a howl. I was so close to the edge, holding him tighter as I drove my hips against him in a delicious collision. An animalistic noise rumbled from deep within his chest. I threw my head back to one side, willing the exquisite torture to split me in two. At that apparent invite, he sucked on my neck, lightly scraping the skin with his teeth. I fell. Waves of satisfaction pulsed through me as wildfire in my veins. He was only moments behind me, his tense body stilling above me.

He collapsed onto his elbows, and I held him against me, my breath rattling unevenly. We were both sucking in air as if it might actually go out of style.

He shifted us to our sides, holding me close. “I … I don’t …”

I searched his eyes for a moment, but impetuously interrupted him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

He looked sad as he stared at me, and I worried I’d somehow said something wrong. Then his expression softened. “I don’t know how to do this.”

There was no way I could contain a laugh. “I beg to differ. You know
very
well how to do this.”

He grunted, but I caught his grin. “That’s not what I meant. It’s … we—
this
is crazy.”

I smirked, my breath still heavy. I rolled away, reaching up on to the sofa for the warm gray afghan hanging over the back. Pulling the cover over us, I told him, “Crazy’s relative, sweet lips. I’m not faint of heart.”

He pulled me in and held me close, carefully poring over my face. I felt whole in his arms. He was my
home
and I never wanted to move. I threaded my fingers around his ear, swiping his cheek with my thumb. He searched my eyes for the longest time. I watched the same sadness morph and swirl between darkness and cold, stubbornly evading eradication. It wasn’t a mild trauma he carried, so I knew his heart wouldn’t be so easily unfettered. Not that I wouldn’t try.

“I’m sorry,” he said so quietly, I knew it wasn’t meant for my ears.

He shook his head minutely, closed his eyes, and pressed his forehead against mine. I moved my hand to rest my palm on his neck. I lifted my head to kiss him in the same spot he’d claimed on me—just behind his ear. Burrowing deeply into his embrace, I quickly fell asleep, each of us tangled in the other.

When I woke, he was gone.

Grey

Run

I freaked out.

When I woke up with Lucie attached to me with her face buried in my neck, nothing could get me out of there fast enough. What the hell had I done?

Carefully as I could, I extracted myself from her embrace, slid backward, and stood. She had shifted a little, but otherwise appeared dead to the world. I did my best to avoid scrambling around the room in a panic and thereby making tons of noise as I collected my clothes. I paused once or twice to make sure she was still sleeping. There was an unfamiliar discomfort in my chest. I was so anxious to get out, so I attributed it to the massive mistake I had made here.