You Make Me (24 page)

He felt it, clearly, giving a low growl before exploding himself. I felt the hot invasion and I held onto him, squeezing my inner muscles instinctively. Speechless, we stared at each other, breathing hard. His lips moved, but he didn’t actually say anything. Finally, he tilted his head back and exhaled deeply. “Holy shit, gorgeous. That was unreal.”

“Totally,” I whispered. Then I eased my heels back down to the ground, jeans cutting into my calves, muscles straining from the position. “You didn’t use a condom.” I’d never felt what it was like to have him come inside me without one, and it felt intimate, exciting. Way more satisfying. But it was risky and crazy.

I needed to go on the pill. After that, I didn’t want to go back to latex, and given the look on his face, neither would he.

“So?” He pulled back, giving a sigh when our bodies separated. He tucked himself back into his pants and zipped.

“I could get pregnant.” It was stating the obvious. Bending slightly, I tugged up my jeans.

“So?” he repeated.

I was about to tell him how stupid and irresponsible that was, when he put his hand on the back of my head and drew my mouth to his. His kiss was soft, trembling. “Cat. No more jealousy, promise me.”

That made me feel guilty. I had been irrational, accusatory. I’d demanded answers, then had refused to accept them. There was no way for him to win when I did that. I had to either trust him or it would destroy us. “Promise.”

“You have no reason to worry. Ever.” He brushed my hair back. “And if you ask every girl I’ve been involved with, and there weren’t many, she will tell you I’m a cold-hearted bastard. That’s what girls say when you refuse to lie to them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I always made it clear I was in love with you. So they knew what they were getting in to.” He unlocked the door behind me. “Ready?”

“Yes.” I was. Ready to put my doubts behind me. Ready to accept that time had passed and I couldn’t undo the lives Heath and I had led apart. I could only go forward from there.

I wondered what would have happened if I had been like Heath and told Ethan right from the start that there had been a boy who had captured my heart and still hadn’t let it go.

Chances are there would have never been an Ethan and me. But I hadn’t known that Heath would come back. I had been afraid that if I didn’t try to reinvent my life, and approach it practically, the hole in my heart would never be filled.

It should have felt awkward walking back out into the bar, since three pairs of eyes watched us. They’d all seen me throw Heath’s phone, him drag me off. I felt we looked totally obvious, holding hands. Heath went back under the bar and picked up his phone. Dialing it, he put it to his ear.

“Who are you calling?” I asked.

“A cab. You’re not walking home. And don’t argue with me. I’m done with arguing with you for tonight.” He gave me a smile that made my insides melt like warm chocolate.

I didn’t like to argue either. “Sorry,” I said.

He leaned over the bar and kissed me. “No, you’re not. Not really.”

“I’m sorry I threw your phone,” I amended. “I hope you don’t get in trouble.” That I was sorry about. I wasn’t sorry that I had confronted him about texting Aubrey. We had needed to clear the air. Or I had needed to clear the air.

“I think my boss is undressing you with his eyes,” he murmured. “So I don’t think I’m going to get fired. But maybe next time wait until I’m off work. I don’t want to have to hit him.” Then he turned his attention to whoever answered at the cab company, ordering one for me.

Tucking my hair behind my ear, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I’d gotten more than I expected when I had shown up at the bar.

As Heath walked me to the front door to wait for the cab, I felt a warm rush between my thighs. I paused awkwardly, fighting the urge to clamp my legs together.

“You okay?”

Realizing what exactly that sensation was, I nodded. It should have plunged me into terror that I was pregnant, but it didn’t. It just felt sexy, intimate. Territorial.

“I don’t have to work tomorrow night. Stay with me.”

There was no question about it.

For either of us.

Out on the sidewalk in the crisp night air, we kissed as the taxi pulled up.

It was a deep, burning, passion filled embrace.

I was never going to doubt him again.

Over the next few days, I packed up most of my clothes and took them to Heath’s. Neither of us wanted to be apart, and seeing Aubrey was awkward. I wanted to repair our friendship, but I didn’t know how, and I thought maybe if we weren’t always bumping into each other in the hallway, we might have a better shot at that.

Besides that, I had heard Janice talking to someone else and discussing how Ethan had gotten loaded again and gone home with a freshman. It was so unlike him I felt guilty just hearing it. Like it was my fault. That I should have been more upfront with him. Not kept my past from him.

But there was nothing I could do about it.

As I was leaving the sorority house on Friday I did see Aubrey in her room with some guy. Her door was open and while I didn’t want to look, I glanced in and saw them making out on her bed. Before, I would have taken it upon myself to close the door and give her privacy, but if I did that now she would just get pissed. She would think I was judging her.

It made me incredibly sad to think that the person I had spent so much time with, who I had laughed with, and eaten countless pints of ice cream with, was basically unavailable to me anymore.

The guy glanced up and met my gaze. I started, embarrassed to have been seen looking, even if I wasn’t really
looking
. He gave me a smirk and very purposefully slid his hand down between Aubrey’s legs. Nice. That was enough for me to reach out and yank the door closed. She was already pissed off at me, what difference did it make? I would want her to do it for me if the roles were reversed.

As I went down the stairs, on my way to go get some groceries for Heath’s apartment, my phone rang in my pocket. I pulled it out and lifted the side of my knit hat so I could put it to my ear. It was an unknown number and I thought it might be Tiffany with a new phone. I hadn’t talked to her in a few weeks and she hadn’t returned my calls. It was starting to worry me.

“Hello?”

“Um, is this Cat?” a girl’s voice asked.

My heart sank and I paused in the foyer of the house. No one in Orono called me Cat. If something had happened to Tiffany I didn’t know what I would do. I swallowed hard. “Yes. Who is this?”

“I’m Kerri, Brian’s girlfriend?”

She posed it like a question, requesting confirmation that I knew of her existence, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief. It wasn’t someone calling with horrible news about Tiffany. But then I did stop to wonder why the hell my brother’s girlfriend would call me. Maybe she was calling with terrible news, not about Tiffany, but about Brian. “Oh, hi. How are you?” It was an inane thing to say, but I was caught off guard, and a tiny bit of fear crept back in. I might despise my brother most of the time, but I didn’t want anything horrible to happen to him.

I pulled the front door open.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but Brian is having, um, a problem tonight.”

“What do you mean?” So he was alive. That was a relief. Annoyance replaced fear.

“He’s drunk and he’s angry. I locked myself in the bedroom, but I was hoping maybe you could come and calm him down.”

Wonderful. I sighed. “If you’re locked in the bedroom, maybe you should call the cops. Has he hurt you before?”

“No! Of course not. He just you know, like throws things sometimes. But never at me.”

I started down the sidewalk. “Look, Kerri, I’m the last person who is going to be able to calm him down. I’m sure it hasn’t escaped your attention that he and I don’t speak to each other.”

“But… he’s ranting about you tonight. That’s why I thought maybe…” Her voice trailed off and she sounded timid, defeated.

I didn’t want it to be my business, but he was still my brother whether I liked it or not. “About me? Why, what is he saying?” I felt sorry for Kerri. Brian was a complete and total dick when he drank. Actually, he was a dick the majority of the time.

“Something about money and the house and someone named Heath.”

Hold up. “He is talking about Heath?” I had actually managed to successfully ignore what Ethan had said, that Brian went up to the Tavern and Heath gave him drinks.

The last few days had been amazing with Heath and I hadn’t worried or wondered or doubted. I had been too busy enjoying being with him, in love. He was at work, it being a Friday night, but I was going back to his place after shopping and he would be home later to wake me up in a way I could never get used to, but found intensely sexy, romantic. “What about Heath?” I asked Kerri.

“That Heath played him and he’s going to kill him.”

That changed my plans. “Where do you and Brian live? I’ll come over. But if he gets violent with me I’m calling the cops.” After I slapped him. I had to admit I’d always wanted to do that. I’d fantasized about it after the scene at my father’s funeral, and I hadn’t even felt guilty for wanting to do it. I wouldn’t now either, not if he was trash talking my boyfriend for no reason.

It was Brian’s fault that Heath had left me four years earlier. Whatever Heath had done, and I doubted he had done anything, couldn’t be as awful and evil as Brian’s phone call to social services.

I could hear a loud pounding through the phone. Kerri gave a small sound of distress.

She gave me their address and I hung up so I could map it. It was only a few minutes walk to the apartment building. I ran up the stairs and rang the bell for apartment five. The door swung open and Brian glared at me.

“You’re the last fucking person I want to see.” He started to shut the door again but I inserted myself between the door and the frame.

Unfortunately he was so drunk that his actions were nonsensical. The door bounced off my shoulder painfully as he kept trying to close it. “Let me in. I want to talk to you.” I shoved at his chest, knowing it would make him stumble backwards.

It did. He swore. I went into the apartment and rounded on him. He was wearing sweats and a T-shirt that looked like he hadn’t washed it in about six months. The whole apartment smelled like sour milk. Brian’s eyes were glassy, his jaw unshaven. I’d seen him like this before. This was probably day two or three of a bender if he was that loaded at eight o’clock.

There was a bottle of whiskey on the counter of the kitchenette and I went over and grabbed it. You would have thought I was dangling his newborn child over a bridge the way he lurched forward.

“What are you doing? That’s my last bottle!”

I put it behind my back. “You’re scaring your girlfriend. Promise me you’ll save this for tomorrow.” The goal was to just keep him away from it, and then calm him down until he passed out for the night. By the looks of him, if I could get him to sit down, he would be out in five minutes.

But first, I needed some answers.

“You can’t just walk in here and confiscate my booze. Fuck you.” He reached for me.

I took three steps backward. “I’ll pour it down the drain! Back off, Brian.”

He knew me well enough to know that I would do it. “Shit. Don’t. What do you want?”

“I want to know why you’re talking shit about me and Heath. Didn’t you do that enough four years ago?”

He snorted. “I should have followed through on it and had his ass thrown in jail for statutory rape. Would have saved me some trouble.”

“But I hear you’ve been drinking on Heath’s tab, so what are you whining about?” I only had Ethan’s word on that, but this was the only way to find out if it was true or not.

“Yeah, well, I thought he was just being nice. You know, brotherly. I was an idiot to fall for that. That motherfucker has no loyalty, Cat. None. He’d sell his own mother for a buck.” He cleared his throat and drew up some phlegm, which he turned and coughed into an empty pizza box.

I tried not to gag. “What are you talking about? If he was giving you drinks, he was risking his job for your sorry ass.”

“No, he was trying to manipulate me. Soften me up.” Brian stumbled over to the couch and picked up a legal envelope packed thick with papers. “Look at this.”

I took it from his hand and pulled the papers out. The address to the house in Vinalhaven was prominent in bold near the top. “What is this?”

“Your ex-boyfriend got me shitfaced and talked me into selling him the house. He fucking ripped me off. He’s a shit sucking asshole and if I see him I’m going to put my fist into his face.”

I could feel the blood drain from my own face. It was the deed to the house, which Brian had signed over to Heath. “Why…”

“Because he’s a dick!” Brian ripped the papers back out of my hand. “And when I told him I changed my mind, he laughed. He laughed at me. He told me he’d been waiting a long time to get back at me, but it was worth it.”

I felt sick that Heath hadn’t discussed it with me. That he hadn’t bothered to mention something as totally absolutely enormous as being the new owner of my childhood house. “Did he… pay for the house?” I didn’t see where Heath would get the money. It wasn’t worth much, but it wasn’t worth nothing either. More money than I owed in student loans, and those were terrifying enough. I couldn’t imagine Heath taking out a mortgage on a place that was a glorified shack.

“He gave me three grand. But I would have never agreed to that if I were sober. He took advantage of me.”

“Three grand?” What the hell? That was definitely screwing Brian. But I wasn’t concerned about Brian. I was wondering why my boyfriend wouldn’t tell me something that important. “Jesus.”

“I know. It’s nothing.” Brian’s expression changed. “Hey, where is that three grand? I bet Kerri has it. I need that. She better give it back to me.” He stumbled over to a closed door and started pounding, “Let me in! You can’t steal my money, you fucking bitch.”

Considering he’d been mooching off Kerri for who knew how long, I figured she had the right to at least half that money, but I wasn’t going to argue with him. “Leave her alone! You can talk to her when you’re sober.”