You Will Die: The Burden of Modern Taboos (16 page)

In many parts of the United States these Puerto Rican children could be removed from the home by the government for fear of the children becoming “over-sexually stimulated and [preferring] sexual behavior to sports, dance, or other more appropriate activities,” and becoming “promiscuous as adults.”
¹¹⁰
The perpetrators could be incarcerated and then registered as sex offenders for decades under Megan’s Law.
¹¹¹

Due to America’s sexually repressive climate, scientific study in the area of children’s sexuality is lacking,
¹¹²
and there is much that is not yet understood. It is not clear at what point mere pleasure-seeking and curiosity is replaced with the cognitive desire for the opposite sex. However, two things stand out in contrast to popular perception. One, the line between enjoyable sexual play and sexual abuse is not always clear, and two, childhood sexual encounters that are motivated by curiosity are positively perceived by the participants later in life and are associated with better self-esteem and later sexual functioning.
¹¹³

1.
        This is a prevalent view in the scientific community. Some prominent advocates include William James, Sigmund Freud, and Abraham Maslow. For an overview of the literature see Pamela Regan and Ellen Berscheid,
Lust
(1999), pp. 22–31.

2.
        David Weeks, “Sex for the Mature Adult,”
Sex. Relation. Ther
., 17(3), 2002, p. 235.

3.
        Andrew Walters and Gail Williamson, “Sexual Satisfaction Predicts Quality of Life,”
Sex. Disabil
., 16(2), pp. 103–115; Ibid., pp. 235–236; and Edward Laumann, et al.,
Social Organization of Sexuality
(1994), pp. 351–368.

4.
        Barry Komisaruk and Beverly Whipple, “Suppression of Pain,”
Annu. Rev. Sex Res
. (1995), pp. 151–186.

5.
        David Weeks and Jamie James,
Secrets of the Superyoung
(1998), pp. 21, 82–83, 144.

6.
        G. Davey-Smith, et al., “Sex and Death”
BMJ
, 20 Dec. 1997, pp. 1641–1644; and S. Ebrahim, et al., “Sexual Intercourse and Risk . . .”
J. Epidemiol. Community Health
, Feb. 2002, pp. 99–102.

7.
        Laumann,
Social Organization of Sexuality
, pp. 351–368.

8.
        S. Brody and T.H. Kruger, “Post-Orgasmic Prolactin Increase Following Intercourse is Greater than Following Masturbation,”
Biol. Psychol
., Mar. 2006, pp. 312–315.

9.
        Robert Michael, et al.,
Sex in America
(1994), pp. 10–12.

10.
      A narrow survey of AIDS-related questions was nixed by Sen. Jesse Helms in 1991. (Ibid., p. 28.). Note that in 1992 the federal government spent almost $40 billion on non-defense research, and while studying human sexual behavior was unacceptable, only four years earlier it spent over $107,000 to study the sexual behavior of Japanese quail. (“Golden Fleece Award,” Taxpayers for Common Sense, ret.
Taxpayer.net
, 14 Aug. 2006.)

11.
      Mary Jane Sherfey,
Nature and Evolution of Female Sexuality
(1966), p. 11, announced this belief. For the ensuing political climate see Anne Moir and David Jessel,
Brain Sex
(1991), p. 12.

12.
      Moir,
Brain Sex
, pp. 9–10.

13.
      Sex drive is defined as the desire to have sex.

14.
      In a study of adulterers, unfaithful men far outnumbered women in the category of one-night stands (twenty-nine percent vs. five percent), whereas unfaithful women outnumbered men in the category of long-term love relationships (forty-one percent vs. eleven percent). Graham Spanier and Randie Margolis, “Marital Separation and Extramarital Sexual Behavior,”
J. Sex Res
., Feb. 1983, pp. 23–48. For more support see the literature overview in Paul Okami and Todd Shackelford, “Human Sex Differences in Sexual Psychology and Behavior,”
Annu. Rev. Sex Res
., 12, 2001, pp. 201–205.

15.
      Roy Baumeister, Kathleen Catanese, and Kathleen Vohs, “Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive?”
Pers. Soc. Psychol. Rev
., 5(3), 2001, pp. 242–273.

16.
      Sect. from Moir,
Brain Sex
, pp. 106, 107.

17.
      J.M. Bailey,
Man Who Would Be Queen
(2003), p. 94.

18.
      A former
Playgirl
editor estimated its readership is forty percent men. Judy Cole, “Playgirl’s Gay Canard.”
Nerve.com
, 27 Nov. 1997, ret. 16 Sep. 2010.

19.
      Moir,
Brain Sex
, pp. 106–107.

20.
      Okami, “Human Sex Differences,” p. 197.

21.
      Moir,
Brain Sex
, p. 109; and Robert Michael, et al.,
Sex in America
(1994), pp. 123–124.

22.
      Any sexual arousal releases oxytocin in females, though higher levels are released at orgasm. Only orgasm and ejaculation release oxytocin in males. Oxytocin reduces and prevents stress. David Weeks, “Sex for the Mature Adult,”
Sex. Relat. Ther
., 17(3), 2002, p. 235.

23.
      Michael,
Sex in America
, p. 123.

24.
      The clitoris has the body’s highest concentration of nerve fibers—twice as many as the much larger penis. Tina Miracle, Andrew Miracle, and Roy Baumeister,
Human Sexuality
(2002), p. 33.

25.
      In 1992 four percent of American women over the age of eighteen had never had an orgasm. Michael,
Sex in America
, p. 128.

26.
      A study asked how willing people would be to have sex with someone they knew for an hour, a day, a week, six months, a year, two years, or five years. Men were more willing at every stage but the last, where it was equal. Okami, “Human Sex Differences,” pp. 202–203.

27.
      Ibid., p. 203.

28.
      In the 18–44 age group ten percent of women found sex with a stranger somewhat or very appealing, and thirty-four percent of males concurred. Michael,
Sex in America
, pp. 146–147.

29.
      In Australia, where there is legalized prostitution, 15.6 percent of men had ever paid for sex compared to .1 percent of women. C.E. Rissel, et al., “Sex in Australia,”
Aust. N.Z. J. Public Health
, 27(2), 2003.

30.
      Edward Herold, Rafael Garcia, and Tony DeMoya, “Female Tourists and Beach Boys,”
Ann. Tourism Res
., 28(4), 2001.

31.
      David Barash and Judith Lipton,
Myth of Monogamy
(2001), pp. 20–21.

32.
      David Schmitt, “Universal Sex Differences in the Desire for Sexual Variety,”
J. Pers. Soc. Psychol
., July 2003, 85(1), p. 90.

33.
      Roy Baumeister, Kathleen Catanese, and Kathleen Vohs, “Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive?”
Pers. Soc. Psychol. Rev
., 5(3), 2001, p. 251.

34.
      The respective numbers are eighty-two percent to twenty-eight percent. Ibid.

35.
      After ten years in committed relationships almost half of lesbians, but only a third of gay men, were having sex less than once a month. Ibid., p. 247.

36.
      Brown was not alone. Robin Morgan announced to 1,500 at a lesbian conference in 1973, “Every woman here knows in her gut the vast difference between her sexuality and that of any [male’s] . . . That the emphasis on genital sexuality, objectification, promiscuity, non-emotional involvement, and tough invulnerability, [was] the male style, and that we, as women, placed greater trust in love, sensuality, humor, tenderness, strength, and commitment.” David Allyn,
Make Love, Not War
(2000), pp. 251, 253.

37.
      James Dabbs and Mary Dabbs,
Heroes, Rogues, and Lovers
(2000), pp. 45–46.

38.
      “Sex Cues Ruin Men’s Decisiveness,”
BBC.co.uk
, 19 Apr. 2006.

39.
      Anne Moir and David Jessel,
Brain Sex
(1991), p. 108.

40.
      Sect. from Okami, “Human Sex Differences,” pp. 219–220.

41.
      Sect. from Anne Moir and Bill Moir,
Why Men Don’t Iron
(1999), pp. 221, 222.

42.
      An erection, “morning wood,” often greets waking men. Lou Schuler, et al.,
Testosterone Advantage Plan
(2002), pp. 45, 53.

43.
      Correspondingly, autumn has more sexual assaults.

44.
      Dabbs,
Heroes
, p. 16.

45.
      Men still want sex more frequently in all age groups and at all stages of marriage. Baumeister, “Gender Difference,” p. 246.

46.
      J.M. Bailey,
Man Who Would Be Queen
(2003), pp. 171–172.

47.
      Women have better hearing and night vision. They are also more sensitive to taste, smell, and physical contact. Moir,
Brain Sex
, pp. 17–19.

48.
      Steven Rhoads,
Taking Sex Differences Seriously
(2004), p. 48.

49.
      The
LiveScience.com
Sex Quiz by Heather Whipps that has been linked from science articles on sites like Yahoo! News and MSNBC since at least 2006 calls this a “cultural misconception.”

50.
      Richard McAnulty and M. Michele Burnette,
Sex and Sexuality
, Vol. 1 (2006), pp. 185–198; Janell Carroll,
Sexuality Now
(2009), pp. 94–96; and Baumeister, “Gender Difference,” p. 243.

51.
      Moir,
Brain Sex
, p. 105.

52.
      Baumeister, “Gender Difference,” pp. 242–273.

53.
      Ibid., pp. 245, 269.

54.
      A common critique is that men, as a whole, consistently report more sex partners than women, as a whole. This disparity has been used to argue that men exaggerate their sexuality while women downplay theirs thus creating an illusion of innate difference. However, when sex surveys’ under-sampling of prostitutes was considered this disparity disappeared. D.D. Brewer, et al., “Prostitution and the Sex Discrepancy in Reported Number of Sex Partners,”
Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences
, 24 Oct. 2000.

55.
      Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield, “Gender Differences in Receptivity to Sexual Offers.”
J. Psychol. Hum. Sex
., 1989, 2, pp. 39–55.

56.
      No females reported fear as a refusal reason, and studies have repeated the results when safety was assured. David Schmitt, et al., “Are Men Really More ‘Oriented’ Toward Short-Term Mating?”
Psychol. Evol. Gend
., Dec. 2001, p. 226.

57.
      Baumeister, “Gender Difference,” pp. 247, 251.

58.
      Russell Knoth, Kelly Boyd, and Barry Singer, “Empirical Tests of Sexual Selection Theory,”
J. Sex. Res
., 1988, 24, pp. 73–89.

59.
      Steven Gold and Ruth Gold, “Gender Differences in First Sexual Fantasies,”
J. Sex Educ. Ther
., 1991, 17, pp. 207–216.

60.
      Men with ring fingers longer than their index fingers have high testosterone levels. “Sex Cues Ruin Men’s Decisiveness”
BBC.co.uk
, 19 Apr. 2006.

61.
      Steven Rhoads,
Taking Sex Differences Seriously
(2004), p. 50.

62.
      Baumeister, “Gender Difference,” pp. 265–266.

63.
      Ibid.

64.
      James Dabbs and Mary Dabbs,
Heroes, Rogues, and Lovers
(2000), p. 101.

65.
      Baumeister, “Gender Difference,” p. 266.

66.
      Katydid example from Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan,
Mean Genes
(2000), pp. 131–132.

67.
      Penises and semen are designed to compete with other men’s semen inside the reproductive tract. When a woman has sex with two different men within a five day period, the sperm battle it out to fertilize the egg. David Barash and Judith Lipton,
Myth of Monogamy
(2001), pp. 161–172.

68.
      David Schmitt, “Universal Sex Differences in the Desire for Sexual Variety,”
J. Pers. Soc. Psychol
., July 2003, 85(1), p. 85.

69.
      Dabbs,
Heroes
, pp. 134–135, 149–150.

70.
      Women’s arousal patterns are significantly more bisexual in nature, that is, less bifurcated between male body and female body stimuli, and lesbians self-report that their sexual orientation is a choice more than gay males. Marco Costa, et al., “Gender Differences in Response to Pictures of Nudes,”
Biol. Psychol
., May 2003. pp. 129–147.

71.
      This is often presented as there being a “gay gene.” This is an inaccurate oversimplification of the issue.

72.
      This was up from thirteen percent in 1977. “Poll Majority: Gays’ Orientation Can’t Change,”
CNN.com
, 27 June 2007.

73.
      When asked his view on homosexuality President George W. Bush said, “I am mindful that we’re all sinners, and I caution those who may try to take the speck out of the neighbor’s eye when they got a log in their own.” Naftali Bendavid, “Bush Calls for Law Defining Marriage,”
Chicago Tribune
, 31 July 2003.