Read You Wouldn't Be Dead for Quids Online
Authors: Robert G. Barrett
âLes. This is Colette.'
âHello Colette. Nice to meet you.'
âHello Les.'
Up close Colette was even prettier again. Her hair was beautifully styled and apart from some light lipstick and a little eye-liner she wore hardly any make-up. She had high, angled cheek-bones which gave her an almost Slavish appearance, quite unlike her sister, and for such a small girl she had a very deep, very sexy voice which because of it's unusualness absolutely fascinated Les.
He introduced Billy to Francis as a waitress appeared and Billy ordered some more drinks â the same again for Les and Francis but a bourbon and Coke and a black russian for him and Colette.
While they were waiting for the drinks Francis said she was going out to powder her nose asking Colette if she'd like to join her. The way she said it, it sounded more like a hint that it might be a good idea if she did.
âWell, what's happening?' asked Les as soon as the girls had moved away from the table.
âMate, I'm as sweet as a nut with the little blonde,' replied Billy. âThey're only staying round the corner at the Crest. I put it straight on her that we get out of here and go back there for a drink.'
âWhat'd she say?'
âSweet. We're going straight back after these drinks.' Billy winked at Les and rubbed his hands together gleefully. âMate, I'll have that little blonde's pants off in about five minutes. Colette baby, you little beauty.' Billy laughed wildly and rubbed his hands together again.
âYeah. She looks like she's got the hots for you all right.'
âOhh mate, you should have seen it on the dance floor. She was all over me like a cake of soap. It was unbelievable.' Billy paused and smiled slyly at Norton. âHow are you going with the big one anyway. Fran' baby?'
âAll right. She's not a bad scout to tell you the truth.'
âYeah, she's all right. Why don't you whip her Reg Grundys off too when we get back there. Do her a favour.'
âI don't know about that.'
âGo on, give her one. It might be all right once you get under the rolls of fat. She's got a big set. You always reckon you like big tits.'
âMmmhhh.'
The waitress arrived with the drinks, Norton went for his kick but Billy paid for them, giving the young red-haired waitress one of his big flashy smiles and seeing he was in a jubilant sort of a mood a big tip as well. The young waitress was very impressed and took her time wiping the table, poking a fair bit of cleavage, from where she'd undone the top buttons of her blouse, right under Billy's nose.
While they were sipping on their drinks Norton told Billy what Francis had been telling him about their hair-dressing salon in Brisbane and about the operation her sister was going to have. He didn't want to dampen Billy's enthusiasm but he thought that it might be a good idea to mention it just in case.
âAn ovarian-cyst,' chuckled Billy, âthat's nothing. Might even make it better. Give it a whole new twist so to speak.' He took a large gulp of his bourbon and Coke and smacked his lips. âIt'll take more than a lousy bloody cyst to stop me throwing Colette up in the air tonight, I can tell you.'
Norton smiled as he looked across Billy's shoulder. âHere they come now anyway,' he said quietly.
The girls returned, sat down at the table and took a sip from their drinks. There seemed to be a little bit of tension between them on their return â Colette had a smug sort of a look on her face, whereas Francis seemed a bit concerned about something. It was obvious words had been exchanged in the ladies room.
Norton sensed this but Billy seemed completely oblivious, or if he wasn't he certainly wasn't letting on and got straight to the point.
âWell, what do you reckon girls?' he said, looking directly at Colette. âWe finish these and head back to your place eh? Its starting to get awfully hot and smoky in here.'
âOkay,' said Colette brightly.
âYou got anything to drink back there?'
âThere's some Bacardi and a bottle of Coke in the fridge,' said Francis. For some reason or other she didn't sound all that enthusiastic.
âThat'll do,' said Billy, almost finishing his bourbon and coke in a swallow; it was obvious he was keen to get moving.
âI might just have a quick snakes,' said Norton rising from the table and heading for the gents.
He got back just in time to see Colette finish off her black russian and barely had time to get his backside on the seat when Billy spoke.
âWell, what do you reckon?' he said. âWe get going?'
âYeah righto,' said Les finishing his can of beer. âLet's hit the toe.'
The girls picked up their handbags. Billy took Colette by the arm and like a true gentleman ushered her gently through the
still-crowded Mandrake Room towards the front door. Francis fell in behind, waiting for Les but he discreetly let a couple of people who were heading in that direction get in between them; you might be a nice friendly Queensland girl, thought Les, but there's no way I'm going to be seen walking through the place with you. I mightn't be Brian Ferry but you're just a bit too ugly.
They got to the entrance where Big Danny was standing just inside the door, patiently opening and closing it for whoever wanted to leave, and although it was late he was doing his best to be pleasant to the patrons as they left. As he saw the four of them approaching, his eyes lit up and a superfluous grin spread across his face.
âAhh Mr. Dunne. Mr. Norton,' he said warmly. âSo wonderful of you to come. It's always a pleasure. And ladies,' he nodded his head and half bowed towards the girls, âI trust everything was to your satisfaction. Mr. Dunne. The wine. Service, etcetera?'
âYeah, it wasn't too bad,' replied Billy.
âOh I'm so pleased. I really am. And don't even bother to book gentlemen, there's always a table here for you.' Big Danny bowed and scraped a bit more and graciously opened the door for them, letting the girls out first, and giving Billy a knowing wink as Colette unravelled herself off his arm and stepped daintily outside, followed closely by Francis. âHowever, there is just one thing I'm afraid I must ask you,' he said, taking Les, who was bringing up the rear, discreetly by the sleeve of his tuxedo. âPlease Mr. Norton. Next time you're in here would you mind not tipping so heavily. It embarrasses the staff. Thank you sir.'
âThat's quite all right. I understand.' Norton took 20
out of his pocket and pressed it into Danny's palm. âHere you are, my good man, a little something for you,' he said, checking out the top of Big Danny's head where the crown was starting to thin out. âSlip down to Sirs and put a deposit on a toupee for yourself.'
âOh thank you sir. Thank you. Your generosity is exceeded only by your good looks.' Big Danny let Norton out and started to close the door slowly. Just as it had about two inches to go a rather loud raspberry came vibrating through the crack, then it clicked shut leaving the four of them standing on the footpath.
âDo you know that guy?' asked Colette.
âNever seen him before in my life,' replied Billy. âSeems a decent enough sort of a chap though, I must say. Come on, let's go.'
The short walk from the Mandrake Room to the Crest was fairly uneventful; it was almost 4.30am and the crowd had started to thin out noticeably. Billy and Colette were walking arm in arm as they threaded their way happily through the people along the footpath, but Norton was keeping a circumspect distance between himself and Francis â though he did talk to her and point out a few little things of interest. Before long they were in the foyer of the Crest, Colette had picked up the key and the next thing they were listening to the piped music as they rode the lift up to the girls' room.
âI hope they've given me the right key this time,' said Colette as she slipped the key in the lock and gave it a turn. âThat dill of a desk clerk gave me the wrong one last night.' It was the right key, Colette opened the door and they followed her inside as she turned on the light at a switch near the door.
âNot a bad sort of a joint,' said Norton, casting a quick eye round the tastefully furnished room.
âHhhmph. It ought to be for the money it's costing,' replied Colette.
The room was fairly spacious, about half as big again as your normal hotel room. As well as a bedroom there was a small lounge room where a brown velvet night-and-day plus a lounge chair faced a tiny curtained-off sun-deck across matching shag-pile carpet. The soft interior lights reflected gently off a glass topped Manilla-cane bar with a built-in fridge; a TV sat next to this and on top of it were the control for the stereo-radio.
âBacardi and Cokes do you?' said Colette from down behind the bar as she rummaged around for some ice and glasses.
âYeah. Good as gold,' said Les, settling back on the lounge and crossing his legs. Billy sat on the lounge chair while Francis headed for the bathroom which ran off the bedroom. She got back just as Colette had made the drinks and handed one to Les, sitting herself down clumsily on the lounge next to him. Colette handed Billy his drink and he reached up and pulled her gently down on to his knee.
Norton took a sip of his drink and eased back on to the lounge, trying not to feel too awkward and embarrassed as Francis inched cautiously towards him along the ottoman. She had a dreamy sort of romantic look on her podgy face and any trepidation she might have shown earlier about bringing the boys back to the
room appeared to have been forgotten; she was just about frothing at the mouth waiting for Les to grab her on the knee.
âYeah. Well. What do you reckon Francis?' said Norton, sort of fumbling for the words. âNot a ah â bad sort of a night eh?' He felt a bit gauche with the other two in the room.
Francis just looked pie-eyed at Les and smiled. âMmhh,' she sighed absently. âIt's wonderful.'
âYeah. Bacardi and Coke's nice.'
âMmhh.' Francis sighed again and wriggled another inch or two closer.
Norton stole a quick look out of the corner of his eye at Billy and Colette sitting to his right on the lounge chair. Billy was nuzzling the side of her neck and gently caressing the back of her head with one hand â the other hand was half way up her dress rubbing the inside of her thigh. Colette had her eyes closed and was running her fingers lightly through his thick brown hair.
âYeah. Well, it â certainly is a top night,' repeated Les, turning to face the starry-eyed Francis.
âMmhh,' she sighed again, âand you're a top man too, Les.' She wriggled forward another inch or two.
âYeah.' Norton laughed lightly, feeling slightly embarrassed again at Fran's last remark. A sudden movement caught his eye and he turned around just in time to see Billy leading Colette tenderly into the bedroom. Well, you're sweet son, he thought, as the door clicked shut. Now that just leaves me and Fran. But he did feel a little better with the two of them out of the room.
He took another sip of his Bacardi and Coke and winked at Francis who was sitting on the lounge like a smiling Buddha. Well, what am I going to do with you âFat Fuck'? he thought. Will I throw you up in the air or not? You're a beast, there's no two ways about it, but it wouldn't really hurt me I s'pose. He took another sip of his drink. Ah, bugger it. I may as well give you one, it won't kill me. It might even be all right.
Francis, by now, was starting to breathe a bit heavily and being left alone on the lounge next to big Les she was also starting to get very hot and sticky round the violet crumble.
Les reached over to Francis and put his hand lightly on the back of her head. âYou know what I miss most since I left Queensland, Francis?' he said, gently massaging the muscles around her neck.
âOhh what, Les?' Francis almost moaned. She was a shot duck now.
âQueensland girls, Fran. I can get Queensland beer, I can get Queensland papers. I can even get Queensland food if I want it. But I can't get Queensland girls, Fran, and these NSW chicks don't do a great deal for me.' He smiled and winked at her. âGive me a nice Queensland girl anytime.'
He placed his drink on the floor, lifted Fran's chin up and kissed her gently on the lips. Fran's eyes spun around like two bubbles in a piss-pot. She gave an audible moan and wrapped her fat arms around Les's neck as her tongue darted hungrily into his mouth. Norton closed his eyes and kissed her avidly in return.
He stroked her throat softly for a moment, then ran his hand carefully over her ample breasts, which although they appeared to be just big and fat, turned out to be quite firm and sexy for their size. He ran his hand over her stomach and up the inside of her dress. Francis spread her huge legs and Norton placed his hand over her by now steaming crutch and started rubbing her ted through the silkiness of her flimsy knickers, giving her clitoris a firm but exciting stroking with his middle finger. Francis, by this time, was starting to cough and backfire like a lawnmower with a dirty spark-plug â she gave another loud moan and started rubbing at Norton's fly.