Young, Allyson - Broken [Running to Love 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) (13 page)

“I waited that night in your hotel room and planned to use our kink to get you to talk to me. I didn’t know any other way. I was angry because you ran and because I didn’t want to accept that I had done something so wrong. Most of all, I couldn’t face how much pain I caused you. Then I tried to let you go. I told myself that was what you needed, but it isn’t true. I’ve come to tell you how sorry I am, and to beg you to be my wife. I’ve come to fix this.”

Tabitha stood and walked to look out the window, folding her arms across her breasts, hugging herself.

“I’m living my ‘after Kyle life,’” she said, “and while it isn’t a happy life, I’m living it on my terms. I have enough money, I have my painting, and I have the animals. I don’t need anything else.”

She turned and looked directly at him, the silver in her hair catching the light.

“It was a pretty speech, Kyle, and really quite intuitive. But it changes nothing.
You
want, and
you
need.
I
don’t.”

Kyle surged to his feet and made to approach her.

She held up her hand and said, “You can’t fix this because you can’t fix me. I’m broken. Tabitha is broken. Forever. Now go.”

She was totally calm and resolute and looked at him with empty eyes.

Kyle nearly staggered through the door as he heeded Tabitha’s edict. He felt totally powerless against her and knew it was because he was guilty. There was no room for misunderstanding. By the time he reached the car, Kyle had accepted the truism of actually feeling one’s heart break. He had lost her forever and now had to live with that fact. He wondered at the years ahead and how he would fill them, if he had anything like her courage.

* * * *

Tara Larson sat on the porch and watched the dust from Kyle’s vehicle gradually fade as it settled back to the roadbed. She had nearly let him back into her life. Part of her believed him and longed for him so badly that she felt ill from the loss. She didn’t know what would have happened if he had taken her offer of sex and wished he had seen through her defenses. But the past had intervened. She had taken the chance with him and found him to be false and as untrustworthy as the people in her life before him. Only that time,
she
had chosen to take the chance. She had trusted
herself.
She hadn’t had the choice before where her family was concerned. So she blamed herself even more than she blamed Kyle, having had lots of time to reflect and self-flagellate. It was better that he had left. She would re-bury Tabitha and continue to mark the days. People in the Witness Protection Program did it all the time. She dropped her face into her hands and wept.

* * * *

Kyle got up from his seat in the VIP lounge at the airport. He was a total fucking coward. How could he have just walked away from Tabitha for the second time? How had he let his woman, his perfect submissive, push him away? Again? She was in a terrible state, and it had undermined his intent. She hadn’t adjusted, hadn’t found a new life. She had regressed in order to cope and had pushed him away just like she had done with everyone else all those years just to survive. He had plucked her from an empty life, occupied only with a career, and taught her the pleasures of intimacy and love. He had changed her life totally, become her life, and then let her down. He had torn away everything. Tabitha was in no frame of mind to listen to reason. That therapist had been both right and wrong. Tabitha was indeed broken. She had regressed back to being the shattered child from her past and adopted a persona to protect that child. But he had made a grave mistake in not forcing his will upon her and helping her cope.

Tabitha was nothing like the young woman his cop friend was married to, him and his friend. Not even close. Although Alexandra had been right in urging him to find her. He, Kyle, was the Dominant and had stepped out of his role with his submissive. While Tabitha essentially had the power in their relationship, she could only wield it when he was being who he truly was. The betrayal she experienced because of his carelessness aside, the terror she must have felt when she used up all of her reserves to escape him and plan a life without him was on him, too. He only hoped that he had the strength to bring her back to him. He cursed his weakness and decided instead to have the strength, no matter what it took. Tabitha was about to be trained once again and return to being that secure, loving, wonderfully sexual woman she had become until she saw that film clip of herself and believed herself to be betrayed, that she had betrayed herself in giving him her trust.

Kyle waited impatiently at the car rental kiosk, furious that he had missed two opportunities to sort the matter through that very night. Tabitha might not have been able to sit comfortably for a week, let alone walk without a sore pussy the next day, but she would have seen reason and not allowed her past to overwhelm her. Their relationship would have withstood his carelessness and have been forged in love and passion. The car rental woman looked surprised to see him, clearly remembering when he had dropped off the SUV earlier.

“Sir?” she queried.

“I want a long-term rental,” he brusquely advised. “A bigger SUV, for maybe a month.”

He managed to be patient as she sorted through options and spoke of rates and insurance, finally scrawling his name across the contract and sealing it with his gold card. Then he was on the road to Tabitha’s, pulling out his phone to call his manager and arrange for a month’s vacation. He didn’t expect his mission to take as long as that, but there was the property to dispose of or at least rent, and the animals to place. He would take of everything. Kyle was sure there was no store in the near vicinity to provide some of the items he thought he might require to deal with Tabitha, but he was always good at improvising. And he could have things couriered if he needed them. He planned as he drove, the miles fading behind him.

* * * *

Tara Larson wearily pulled herself to her feet and made her way up the stairs to her monk’s cell. Her house no longer felt the haven that she had tried so hard to construct. She wasn’t sure that she could continue to fill her days and avoid thinking. Kyle’s arrival had Tabitha wanting more. Yet she hurt so badly. She also felt sickened by the memory of Roger Bend and wondered at her resolve to kill him. Kyle’s reappearance in her life had turned her carefully constructed new reality upside down, and even now, her hands itched to touch him, and her pussy ached emptily. She searched for the anger she should be feeling for his presumptuous interference in her life but could only find a sense of sadness and deep loss. How on earth was she to go on now that she had again been reminded of what she had lost, given up, when she left Kyle? His explanation and apology echoed in the empty places in her brain, and she remembered how badly she wanted to run after his car, to tell him she accepted it. And him. God, she would die thinking this way. She would sleep and start tomorrow rebuilding from the inside out. She was strong enough. She had to be.

The barking of the dogs woke her, and she struggled to her feet, reaching for her robe. Roger Bend. It had to be. And he might have brought his cousin. She wouldn’t let him touch her again. Kyle was the only one she wanted to touch her, and he was gone forever. She took the pistol from the dresser drawer and loaded it, prepared to shoot Roger and anyone else with him. If necessary, she would kill herself, something that seemed more attractive by the minute as the pounding on the door started.

“Tabitha! Tabitha, open the door!”

Tabitha stared blankly toward the top of the stairs. She was known as Tara. How could Roger Bend…oh God, it was Kyle. She made her fingers loosen to let the gun fall to the bed and then forced her feet to move. Slowly, she descended the stairs, holding onto the railing with a death grip as Kyle’s shouts for her to wake up and open the door resonated along with the dogs’ whines and howls. Tabitha threw the door open just as Kyle must have decided to kick it in. He half fell across the threshold and took her down with him to crash onto the floor. He somehow managed to turn with her enough to avoid crushing her, and they came together face-to-face. She knew her eyes were telling him of both her fear and her need, and Kyle didn’t hesitate. He took her mouth with a kiss that told her of every strong emotion that he had for her. He possessed her mercilessly, and she softened against him and opened her mouth to allow him entrance.

Kyle struggled to his feet with her, still kissing her, and kicked the door shut in the startled animals’ faces. He made his way to the couch and lowered her, his hands stripping the robe away then tearing the fine lawn of the nightgown from her body. He lifted over her and freed his erect cock from his jeans, then forged up inside her. He didn’t test her readiness. It didn’t matter. She was his and would accept him.

Kyle’s cock dragged against her sensitive tissues, and Tabitha struggled to catch up with his passion. Moisture that she hadn’t felt in all the intervening months flowed to facilitate his invasion, and the bite of pain swiftly changed to pleasure. She thought she must be dreaming. Kyle bit down on her shoulder in that oh, so sensitive spot as he thrust harder and twisted his hips. Tabitha began to pant at the familiar coil of sensation building within and felt Kyle reach between them to pinch her clitoris just as he spent himself within her. She cried out his name as she climaxed and arched into him. He collapsed and pinned her to the cushions with his heavy weight, and she reveled in the feeling. Kyle kissed her sweaty temple and pushed up and off of her. He crouched beside the couch and just looked at her. She stared back at him. For a long moment, silence reigned.

“You are coming home, Tabitha,” Kyle decreed.

Tabitha just continued to stare at him.

“I will help you sort out things here, for as long as it takes, but then you are leaving and returning to live with me as my wife.”

Tabitha began to breathe rapidly. Kyle fixed her with his gaze and shook his head. “There will be no debate, Tabi-cat. We will talk further in the morning once you have been disciplined.”

Tabitha felt her mouth set in a stubborn line. “I’m different now, Kyle. Don’t think that a quick fuck changed anything.”

Kyle yanked her off the couch and set her on her feet. He pushed her toward the stair and slapped her buttocks to move her along.

“Get to bed, and watch your mouth, Tabitha. I won’t tolerate such language from you.”

When she turned to protest, Kyle gave her another gentle shove and slapped her again for emphasis. She looked hard at him and then reached to touch between her legs as his seed flowed from her body and onto her thighs. She looked into his eyes. Kyle shrugged and pointed upstairs. She grudgingly began to climb them ahead of him and felt his eyes on her, studying her body. She knew she was really thin and wondered that he still found her attractive.

Tabitha washed up in the bathroom while Kyle readied himself for bed, in
her
bedroom! He had fucked her without a condom, although he must have considered that she wouldn’t be using protection anymore. So he either didn’t care if she became pregnant or his need for her had overcome his control. No, Kyle never lost control. She touched her belly and wondered, then went to join Kyle. He was standing by the narrow bed, holding her Glock.

“Why do you have a hand gun, Tabitha?” he asked.

Tabitha shrugged then flinched before his hard look. “There is a man in town who is bothering me. He is threatening to shoot my animals if I don’t, well, if I don’t have sex him.”

Kyle’s face darkened with rage, and Tabitha felt a moment’s real fear.

“Who is he?”

Tabitha told him and looked away in shame.

Kyle instantly held her close and spoke tenderly in her ear. “I’m furious with
him
, darling, and I’ll take care of it. It has added to your punishment because you didn’t have to put yourself in the position of having to fend him off. You didn’t have to run away. But I don’t care what you had to do with him. That is over now.”

He slipped her beneath the covers and got in behind her to fit himself closely to her back. The bed barely held them both, but Tabitha welcomed the close quarters. She felt safe and loved and protected. She felt like she belonged. She wasn’t happy about the pending punishment because she suspected Kyle had a lot to express, but resigned herself to it.

Chapter Twelve

When Tabitha awoke the next morning, she found Kyle had been busy. The smell of coffee enticed her downstairs after she had showered and belted her robe around her. The sight of him so comfortable in her kitchen took her breath away and brought tears to her eyes. Could it really be so simple? He had said he was sorry and explained himself. If she accepted, would things go back to the way they were, only better? Once he provided her punishment. Against her better judgement, Tabitha allowed her arousal to grow. Kyle might punish her but would never really hurt her, and she longed for the pleasure that would follow. And maybe the punishment would cleanse her. She decided she would accept it, although Kyle seemed very sure of himself and a perverse part of her wanted to mess with him, shake that certainty.