Young Lies (Young Series Book 1) (38 page)

She nods, her own eyes widening. “Yeah, of course,” she says. “I just didn’t realize...” Her brow furrows briefly and I know she’s about to change the subject. I prepare myself for what I know is coming next. “What the hell, Matt? How are you even here?”

Sighing, I scoot my chair closer to the bed. “It’s a very long story,” I tell her softly, tentatively reaching out to run a finger down her cheek, inwardly smiling at the way her eyes flutter close at my touch. “One I plan on telling you in full, but right now I don’t want to upset you. For now, can it be enough to know that I’m here and I’m not leaving again?”

She swallows hard, considering my words carefully. “For now,” she agrees in a whisper. “I missed you.”

I smile, bringing her uninjured hand in my own. “I missed you too,” I say hoarsely. “More than I can say.”

“You found us.”

It sounds like she’s both stating a fact and asking a question. I nod. “I’m just sorry it took so long,” I tell her. “If I’d known just how much trouble I’d gotten the two of you in, I would have been back sooner, despite all the advice I was getting to stay away until this shit sorted itself...” I shake my head at her troubled expression. “We’ll talk. I promise that. In the meantime, we have a couple other things we need to discuss.”

I don’t miss the sudden movement of her pulling her uninjured hand from mine to rest it protectively over her belly. In this moment, I fall back into my chair, realizing she already knows about the pregnancy. Part of me is relieved; I wasn’t really all that certain how I was going to bring it up. Part of me feels sick to my stomach; I have no idea how to proceed from here. “You already know,” she states quietly.

I nod. “The doctors mentioned it the night you were brought in,” I tell her, trying to force a smile. “I suppose they assumed I already knew.”

Her eyes close and we sit in silence for a few minutes until I think she’s fallen asleep. I sigh disappointedly and make to stand and pull the blankets around her to keep her warm before heading out of the room to make a few phone calls. To my surprise, she’s not asleep. “I don’t want you to think you’re obligated to do anything,” she says, her voice barely above a breath. “There’s so much going on in your life right now and this is probably the last thing you want to deal with...”

My heart skips a beat at her words. Is this her way of telling me she’s going back to Tom? Damn. Though I’d half-joked about it with Claire, I was really hoping to find out Tom really is sterile. “I know I’m not obligated,” I tell her painfully. “But that doesn’t stop me wanting to be there for you. I’ve spent too much time without you, Samantha. And I don’t want to waste another second; but of course I will support you however you want me to support you.”

Her eyes close as though she’s in pain, which probably isn’t far off the mark at the moment, and lets out a long, shaky breath. “I spoke to Tom this morning,” she whispers, staring at the hand on her belly.

Goddammit. Here it is... “And?” I ask a little more sharply than I intend.

She gives me a half-shrug. “He wants to fly out to see me,” she informs me. “But I managed to convince him it’s not necessary right now.”

“And he just accepted that?” I ask incredulously. I have to assume she’s told him about the pregnancy and I’m suddenly livid at Tom Saunders. What kind of dick does that? I don’t give a fuck where I am; if Samantha had told me about the pregnancy when I was away, I would have dropped every last fucking thing and gotten to her side as quickly as possible.

“For the moment,” Samantha says, looking at me in surprise at my tone. “But he did say if I need it, he has a room for Tyler and me...”

I close my eyes, hoping to hide the fact that she’s breaking my heart by informing me that she and Tyler will be leaving. An argument can be made that she’s taking my son from me again, but I’m not sure how much water that will hold; if she stays with me, she’ll be taking Tom’s child from him and as much as I loathe the bastard, I can’t imagine putting anybody through that pain. Besides, with another child to consider, the last thing she needs is to surround herself with the dangers of my life. Not to mention the possibility that I’ll be hauled into a courtroom and charged with several counts negligent homicide. She’s better off with the simple life Tom can provide her. And after everything, I don’t think there will be any arguments about whether I’ll be able to see my son whenever I want.

“Matt?” she whispers, pulling me back to reality. “What’s wrong?”

I force a smile onto my face. “Nothing,” I lie. “If you want, I can arrange to have Tom flown out until you’re well enough to travel. You’re welcome to stay with me as long as you wish.”

Her face pales and her mouth drops open a little. “Oh,” she says in a small voice. “Sure. Thank you.”

I nod once and suddenly have the desperate need to separate myself from Samantha before I break completely. “I should let you rest,” I say gruffly, getting to my feet. “I’ve got meetings and things to get to.” That’s a complete lie. I’d cleared my entire schedule to spend the day here with Samantha. Not that there was really much
on
my schedule; everything that needs to be done has been delegated to Leo or someone else on my staff.

Samantha says something in response, but I can’t hear it over the pounding in my ears. I mutter something about seeing her later, and walk away from her as quickly as I can.

-------------o-------------

As Matt walks out the door, I’m left feeling lost, confused, and extremely hurt, and that’s not even considering the physical pain I have. His total dismissal of the pregnancy is devastating. I don’t know what I thought would happen. That he’d be as happy as he had been when he found out about Tyler. That he’d kiss me and hold me and convince me everything would be all right. Definitely not this.

But I have to take into account everything he’s been through. He’s been legally dead for nearly two months. I obviously don’t know the whole story, though I am imagining him cut off from everyone and everything he cared about. Maybe he’s come to the conclusion that I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I’m suddenly regretting letting Claire leave with my son; with them in the room, there was a buffer between Matthew and me, and I was able to pretend everything was fine between us. Then I remember the night before he left and the time we spent together, and his unspoken promise that we would be able to work things out and get to where we were supposed to be.

Apparently that’s not even a consideration anymore.

To my relief, the doctors arrive to check me over and give me a dose of pregnancy-friendly pain medication, and a few minutes after they’ve gone, I’m falling asleep, trying to control the tears streaming down my face.

It’s been two days since I’ve seen Samantha. I can give any number of excuses as to why I haven’t been back—I’ve been locked in offices with lawyers to change my status from dead to alive; I’ve been assisting the federal investigation in Sam and Tyler’s kidnapping; I’ve been searching for the mystery woman apparently behind what happened; I’ve been searching for Frank Marone; I’ve been dodging the media that’s been following me around since my return was leaked a day and a half ago. This last one is probably the closest I have to a legitimate excuse. The people trailing my move
s have been staking out the hospital because someone mentioned seeing me there after the incident the other night and returning there could risk them trying to sneak in and ultimately find Samantha. Logically, I know the hospital security wouldn’t allow for something like that, but I don’t want her bothered, especially by those vultures.

I feel like an asshole avoiding her the way I’m doing, but I don’t know what else to do at this point. She all but confirmed my concern that Tom Saunders is the father of her child. What am I supposed to say to that? All I can do is make her comfortable and give her whatever she needs until the time she is well enough to return to Tom. Even if that means flying the bastard out to be with her. Though if she had agreed to that, I’d never be able to set eyes on him without putting my fist in his face. And it’s got nothing to do with him not being able to keep his mouth shut after a couple
of drinks. The bastard is getting everything I want, everything that is mine, and that pisses me off.

In order to keep my mind distracted, I’ve returned to work today. The walk inside the building was amusing—every person I passed looked as though they’d seen a ghost, which I suppose they did. Not enough time passed that the company
transferred over to the board of directors which would choose the appropriate replacement; though I’m sure they started the consideration process. Several of the faces I passed on my way to my office looked almost resentful at my presence; I wonder which of them might have taken over my job if a few more weeks had gone by. I sure as hell don’t feel guilty for bursting their bubbles; it’s my company and that won’t be changing until my actual last dying breath. This is an eye opener, though; I’m starting to realize how many people are after my job. Well, fuck them. They can want to their heart’s desire, but the moment they start trying to push me out will be among the last moments of
their
lives.

For the first time since my arrival at Young Technologies, only Leo and I are in my office. All the others that had been lined up to welcome me back have returned to their jobs. We’re eating sandwiches we ordered for lunch while Leo brings me up to speed on the security upgrades we’re having done on both Young Technologies and at my home. The fact that so
meone bypassed all my security without alerting anybody makes me incredibly uneasy and I will not allow Samantha or my son to step one toe into that house until I know they will be safe if I’m not there with them.

I’m still rather irritated with Leo for putting his need for a quick fuck before keeping my family from harm like I asked him to do, but if he was there, he might have been killed as well, so on some level, I consider it a good thing that he wasn’t there.

Balling up the paper that had wrapped my sandwich and throwing it into the trash can beside my desk, I start to tell Leo to have the head of the military development department brought in, and my door is thrown open. Both Leo and I are on our feet immediately, not knowing whether somebody got past security to find me. I expect to see guns drawn and threats shouted. When I see the person who’s barged into my office, I only relax slightly. It’s only Claire, which can easily be more frightening than anyone pointing a gun at my head.

“What the hell was that?” I demand as my sister enters my office and slams the door shut. “Do you not know how to make an appointment?”

“I’m not making an appointment to see my own brother,” she informs me coolly. “Besides, I have the feeling that if I had made an appointment, you’d refuse to see me.”

Well, she’s not wrong. While avoiding Samantha, I’ve had to avoid Claire as well, knowing she’d be pissed with my behavior. And she has every right to be. In fact, I don’t even need to ask why she’s here right now. “Leo, can you give us a few minutes?” I ask quietly, sitting back down. The look on his face suggests that as my head of security and the one in charge of heading off threats he doesn’t want to leave me alone, even if it is only my sister.

Claire glares at him when he hesitates and I almost laugh at how quickly he leaves the room. She barely waits until the door is closed behind Leo before starting in on me. “What the fuck is your problem?” she snarls. “I just left the hospital after sitting with Sam all morning and most of it was me watching her cry. She actually called me last night asking me not to bring Tyler to see her because she didn’t want him worrying about her.” I flinch. She doesn’t even need to hit me to hurt me. That image is enough to kill me. “She thinks you don’t want her so you’re shipping her and Tyler back to Tom the same way you shipped her off to me.”

“I don’t want her?” I repeat incredulously. “Of course I want her, Claire! She’s everything I’ve ever wanted! But if she doesn’t want to be with me, I’m sure as fuck not going to force her. And I’m not going to stop Saunders from being in his child’s life.”

The room is so silent that I’m waiting to hear crickets. “I’m sorry, what?” Claire says quietly, her eyes wide.

“I know what it’s like to not be in my child’s life and I won’t do that to him,” I say quietly, every word costing me something. “He might be a dick, but if that is who Samantha wants, I won’t stop her.”

Claire is still staring at me as though I have two heads. “You’re joking, right?” she asks quietly. When a few moments go by and she realizes I’ve never been more serious, I don’t know whether she wants to laugh at me or slap me. Maybe both. “Oh my God. Matt, you are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met in my life! I’ll tell you right now: I love you both dearly, but if you don’t get to that hospital and talk to Samantha and sort this shit out, you’re both going to make the biggest mistakes of your lives.”

My jaw is dropped as I stare at my sister. “What are you talking about?” I ask cautiously.

She shakes her head. “No,” she says softly. I think she feels sorry for me for some reason. “Talk to Samantha. Please.”

I can only nod as she stands and leaves the room. Samantha thinks I don’t want her? Well, I suppose I can see how she would get that impression, but that couldn’t be further off the mark. Samantha has spent the day crying? Fuck. She doesn’t deserve that. I suddenly have an image of her lying alone and scared in her hospital bed, wondering what she’s going to do next. I can’t let her stay like that.
Knowing that I’m the one who caused her to feel that way...

I fire off a couple
of text messages, one to Leo telling him I’m taking off for the day, and leave my office as quickly as I can. I fucked this up and now I need to fix it.

-------------o-------------

I hate hospitals. Ever since my mother got sick when I was a teenager. The sterile environment. All the sick and dying people. The coldness of the doctors. The food. That feeling hasn’t gone away over the years and now I hate them even more. I want out of this place. And when I get out of here, I just want to go back to Matthew’s, pack my and Tyler’s things, and leave New York behind for good. It’s a depressing thought, considering everything that’s happened, but I don’t see what other choice I have. We can’t keep living in Matthew’s house, now that he’s somehow back in the land of the living—and I really need to get the whole story on that. Aside from being in such close quarters with him day in and day out after he all but told me he thinks it best if I go back to Tom, I just can’t face him. Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel at the thought of seeing him again.

I’m angry and hurt and miserable. And I don’t understand what seems to have changed since the night we spent together at Claire’s. Well, other than the whole faking his death thing and then the kidnapping. But I would have thought that would bring us closer together. I suppose I can’t really blame him; he’s spent five years alone without having to answer to anybody. He can tell me all he wants how much he wants me and Tyler in his life, how much he wants us to be a family again. But now all of a sudden there’s a baby involved. Apparently he’s not ready for another child. I’m not even sure
I’m
ready for another child.

The days in the hospital are much easier to handle than the nights. During the day, doctors and nurses and visitors come freely into my room, keeping my mind distracted for the most part. But during the night when all is quiet, my mind goes into overdrive and I find myself thinking things that disgust me when the sun rises again.

Claire has been a Godsend. I’m glad she suggested taking Tyler back to her house; he needs to be around other kids again right now, not sitting in this hellhole worried and scared because I’m hurt. She is beyond pissed off at her brother right now and I’ve had to talk her out of hunting him down more than once. Her concern is sweet, but this has to be Matthew’s decision to make. I won’t be the one to force him into doing something he doesn’t want to do. No matter how much I may want to.

Claire also took it upon herself to call my brother. Jimmy dropped everything at home and flew out to check on me. Of course I had to explain what’s been going on, or at least what little I understand, and his opinion on the situation doesn’t shock me in the least.

“I told you from day one Young is bad news, Sam,” he tells me in a slightly menacing tone. “Did you listen to me? No. Now look at you. Look at what he’s reduced you to.”

I glare at him. “Don’t start with me right now,” I threaten.

He ignores me, of course. “When you’re out of this hospital, you and Tyler are coming home with me. Where you belong. And I’m not going to listen to arguments. Now I don’t know what happened with you and Tom and frankly, I don’t care. He’s the one you should be with, Samantha, not Young. If you stay here, you’re going to end up heartbroken or worse.”

I begin to argue, but someone clears their throat from the door. Jimmy and I both look up and I feel a blush creeping up my neck at the sight of Matthew standing just inside the room looking as though he hasn’t slept in days—something I can empathize with—with as many days’ worth of stubble on his face. That look shouldn’t turn me on, but dammit, I can’t help it. To see him standing here after days’ worth of maintained radio silence is both a relief and cause for anger. Relief because it shows he hasn’t forgotten about me completely like I’d feared; anger because... Well, that should be obvious.

“Young,” Jimmy practically spits as he stands. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”

Matthew only raises an eyebrow, his gaze moving from me to my brother. “I came for the gourmet meals,” he says sarcastically. “Heard the powdered eggs in this place were the best in the state and wanted to try them for myself.”

I manage to hide my twitching lips, not that either of them has noticed what with them being so preoccupied glaring daggers at one another. My amusement only lasts a moment as I realize the testosterone level has built to an almost dangerous level and with two men who are both fiercely protective of me, there are only a handful of possible outcomes, all of which involve one or both of them being checked into the hospital as well.

“Haven’t you caused her enough pain and grief?” Jimmy snaps. I glance at Matthew in time to see his expression harden in anger. “You just can’t leave her be, can you? Every time you come around, it gets worse. I’m not letting it happen again, Young. Get out and leave her alone.”

“Jimmy, stop,” I say quietly, glaring at my brother. “You don’t get to make those decisions for me.”

“Samantha, this piece of shit is the reason you’re in here!”

“Fuck you!” Matthew shouts.

“ENOUGH!” I shout over whatever my brother’s response was going to be. “Jimmy, get out and let me talk to Matt.”

Jimmy stares at me as though I’m completely insane, which might not be too far from the mark. “You can’t really expect me to—”

“I can and I do,” I reply. “Please leave. If I need you I’ll tell you. But I’ll be fine.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Jimmy mutters darkly. Regardless, he stands up, kisses my forehead, and walks past Matthew who steps sideways to get out of his way. “Hurt her again and you answer to me.”

Wisely, Matthew remains quiet, but I see his eyes roll as Jimmy leaves the room. The moment the door shuts softly behind him, the awkwardness I was afraid of sets in as Matthew and I stare silently at one another. “Sorry about him,” I say quietly. “You know what he’s like...”

Matthew nods slightly and takes a couple steps forward. “I’ve come to expect hostility from your brother,” he says matter-of-factly. “Besides, it’s not like he’s wrong.”

I flinch at his words. “Matt, you don’t—”

“What good have I given you, Sam?” he asks quietly. “Honestly. I took you from your family and yes, we had some very good years together. Years I wouldn’t trade for anything. But it doesn’t matter what I seem to do; every time I turn around you’re hurting or upset. How many times have you worried that I might not come home? Or that you and Tyler are in danger. This is my fault. If I’d left you alone like I should have done in the first place, you wouldn’t be in that bed right now.”