Young Revelations (Young Series) (35 page)

I snort a laugh and nod. The first time she called me on my cursing was actually quite amusing. Nobody since my mother has scolded me the way Dr. Morris did and I learned quickly that if I have any intention of continuing these sessions, I need to watch my mouth. “Sorry, Doctor,” I say, duly chastised.

“Who was she sitting across from that you reacted so strongly?”

“Dr. Mark Reilly,” I say through gritted teeth. At her prompting, I go into the explanation of Dr. Dipshit, explaining how I returned from Germany to surprise Samantha only to find her fast asleep holding another man’s hand while that other man had his free hand resting on her pregnant belly. I should have beaten the shit out of him that day… “Samantha insists they’re just friends.”

“Do you believe that?”

“I want to,” I reply. “I really, really want to, but knowing she’s having lunch with him while she and I are on a break or whatever this is isn’t setting my mind at ease. If the circumstances were different, he’d probably be perfect for her. Attractive, successful… Even my sister likes him.”

“I suppose this goes back to whether you trust Samantha. Do you believe she is attracted to this man?”

I shrug. “She told me herself she’s attracted to him, but she has no intention of anything but friendship with him. She told me she loves me and she couldn’t rightfully be with anyone else and be happy.”

“Has she demonstrated that to you?”

I think about everything she and I have been through together, including our time apart when she was living with Tom Saunders and I was with a number of women in my attempt to replace her the way she replaced me. Something about that stops my thoughts dead and I feel my brow furrow. “Yes,” I say quietly, slowly looking up at Dr. Morris again. “She has.”

“How?”

I swallow hard. “When she left me the first time, right before our divorce, she went to a friend of hers, Tom, who she’s known all her life. He proposed to her last year on her birthday and I know he wanted to marry her and have a family with her, but she never gave him an answer. At least not until I came back into her life. She admitted to him and me and herself that she couldn’t be in love with Saunders the way she was in love with me and she couldn’t marry him, couldn’t settle for him when she felt so strongly for me.”

“I think you’ve got your answer about whether she still wants to be with you, Matthew,” Dr. Morris says. “Friendships between men and women don’t need to be sexual; it’s insecurity in one’s relationship that makes a person question whether their partner is seeking affection or anything else from that friendship. Your situation is a textbook case of that. Samantha has been trying to prove to you that she’s in your relationship for the long haul, but you have to realize that and trust her completely if you stand any chance of keeping her in your life.”

By the end of my session, I’m exhausted, but at the same time, I’m hopeful. Looking back at the scene at the restaurant, remembering in vivid detail exactly how Samantha looked sitting across from Reilly, I see it differently. While she did seem to be enjoying herself, there was still a hint of intense sadness in her expression and body language that didn’t register with me at the time. Any outsider would have looked through that window and would have seen two friends having lunch rather than the midday romantic rendezvous I believed it to be. I still don’t like Reilly and I think I would take any opportunity to smash his face in with my fist, but for the first time I truly trust that Samantha isn’t falling in love with him and that she never could, because she loves me.

And with that realization in my head, I know what I have to do to get her back.

I have never been so nervous about a Thanksgiving dinner in my life. For the last five years, Tom would drive us from Omaha to either his parents’ house or mine the night before and it was a group effort to cook and clean while the men all tried to sneak away and play football. I’d gotten to the point only last year where I was able to do a much better job at hiding my sadness about being away from Matthew for yet another holiday, and faking my way through the day without Tom sending me concerned glances every five minutes. Since I’ve been back in New York and realized I’d be spending this day with Matthew, I’ve been looking forward to it. At least until a few weeks ago. I didn’t even know until yesterday whether Matthew would be here today—Claire told me while we did our last minute shopping. That’s also when I realized she’s known he’d be coming for a few days and seemed to take pleasure in my panic when I reminded her Bonnie was bringing Mark as well. I’d asked her if she realized that by having Matthew and Mark in the same room there was a possibility of bloodshed. She’d only grinned at me and went about picking out dinner rolls that weren’t completely smashed on the shelves.

At the same time, I’m very much looking forward to finally seeing Matthew again. After the last few weeks, I know there is so much we need to discuss and what better time to do that than now? Part of me wants to grab him the moment he walks through the door and drag him upstairs to get everything out in the open, then maybe take care of a few other needs I’m sure he shares with me so we can get back normal. The other part of me wants to see if he takes the lead for a change. Then there’s part of me who wonders how long it will be between the time Matthew gets here and the time when he puts a fist in Mark’s face. Because that is honestly the only outcome I see at this point, and while I know that’s unfair to assume, I know Matthew and his jealousy.

Bonnie and Mark have already arrived, and are in the living room with Danny and the kids while Claire and I work in the kitchen—not that I’m actually getting any work done as I look between the hallway to the clock wondering whether Matthew is even going to show.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re actually nervous about this,” Claire teases, grinning at me from where she’s leaning against the island counter, a glass of wine already in her hand even though it’s not even noon yet. I glance down at my baby bump, desperately wishing I could join Claire in her alcohol intake.

“Of course I’m nervous,” I shoot back at her. “I haven’t seen him in weeks. I probably look terrible. For all I know, he’s got a girlfriend already.”

Claire’s eyebrows shoot up. “Well, we both know
that’s
bullshit. The part about you looking terrible and him having a girlfriend, I mean. He’s not going to see anyone but you and Tyler today, and you know it.” She glances out the window where the snow storm that started this morning is getting heavier. “It’s probably the weather keeping him.”

I nod and start to respond, but the front door opens and I hear four little squeals coming from the living room. “And there he is…” I say quietly when I hear Matthew’s laugh.

“Go say hi,” Claire urges softly.

I hesitate and she rolls her eyes.

“Samantha, it’s Matt,” she reminds me. “He’s a simple man. You can handle him…”

Sighing, I nod and quickly check my reflection in a mirror next to the kitchen door, very carefully ignoring Claire’s snort of laughter into her wine. Stepping out into the hallway, I hear all four kids vying for Matthew’s attention and as I come around the staircase, I see the only one he has eyes for is Tyler. There is a huge smile on his face and his eyes are bright and watery as he kneels on the floor to give Tyler his full attention. Tyler of course takes full advantage of this by pressing against Matthew and talking in rapid speed about everything he’s done in the last several weeks. I take the opportunity to take in Matthew’s appearance. I’m not certain what I expected, but given the brief description Claire had given me when she visited him, I thought maybe he’d be scruffy and thin and exhausted-looking. Damn, was I wrong… He looks incredible, more so than he did when I last saw him. His black messy hair is a little longer than he usually keeps it, but it suits him. Even from where I’m standing, I can smell his cologne and I feel myself smiling at the scent.

Claire walks past me and nudges me forward slightly. “All right, my three, go bother your father for a while,” she calls. “Leave Uncle Matt alone for now…” She smiles at her brother. “Hi, Uncle Matt. Glad you could make it.”

Matthew turns his attention to her briefly and kisses her cheek when she leans forward. “Sorry I’m late,” he tells her. “Traffic was a b…” He glances over at Tyler. “A witch.”

Claire snorts a laugh. “Right, well, you three take your time,” she says, shooting me a look as she heads into the living room.

My eyes follow her until she disappears around the corner, then look back at Matthew who has stood up with Tyler in his arms and is staring at me with undisguised longing and love and lust and a hundred other emotions. “Hi, Matt,” I say quietly, walking forward to close some of the distance between us.

“Hi,” he whispers back, his eyes roaming my body almost hungrily. His lips twitch up into a smile and he adjusts Tyler on his hip. “You look great.”

I smile back, feeling shy for some reason. “Liar,” I mutter. “I’m getting fat.”

Matthew huffs a laugh. “Definitely not,” he says firmly, looking down at my baby bump. I know he’s taking in the fact that at this point in my pregnancy with Tyler, I’d barely gained any weight at all, and I can’t help but believe this is a good sign. “Our daughter is getting fat. There’s a difference.”

Rolling my eyes, I give him a full smile. There are so many things I want to say to him, but right now, I can’t think of a single one. Judging by the look on his face, he’s in the exact same boat right now. “Happy Thanksgiving,” I say lamely.

His eyes glimmer in amusement. “Happy Thanksgiving,” he repeats. When Tyler seems to grow bored of our conversation—or lack thereof—Matthew lets him slide to the floor and he rushes off into the living room with his cousins. Matthew watches him go with a fond expression. “He’s gotten bigger.”

“That’s not saying much,” I reply. “Kid is shorter than your three-year-old niece.”

“True,” Matthew concedes. “Doesn’t make him any less adorable.”

I smile in agreement and we fall into several long, tense moments of silence that’s only broken by Bonnie shouting for Matthew to get his bony behind in the living room to meet her nephew. And that’s when I’m reminded that Mark Reilly is here for Thanksgiving as well and Matthew probably has no idea.

“What’s the nephew like?” Matthew asks conspiratorially. “I’m thinking tweed suit jacket, suspenders, and a bowtie.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “Really?” I reply. He grins at me. “Actually, no. And you already know him.”

His grin fades. “Do I?” he asks warily. “Who is it?”

I gesture towards the living room. “All I ask is that you behave. And remember Claire did all the dinner invitations.”

He narrows his eyes suspiciously at me, then heads into the living room and I follow him. On the couch, Mark is sitting between Danny and Jessica, his date today, and Matthew’s niece Abby seems to have attached herself to his lap, her head resting on his chest as though she has no intention of moving anytime soon. It’s actually very cute. But judging by the way Matthew’s body tenses and the annoyance rippling off his body he doesn’t agree in the slightest. I was actually relieved when I heard Mark was bringing a date—my hope is that Matthew might actually realize Mark and I really are just friends, despite appearances, if his attention is directed towards Jessica. And so far, I really like her. She’s very down to earth and outgoing and funny, and from what I’ve seen, she really cares about Mark. The only hitch in the day so far came when Claire asked her what she does. Apparently by complete small world coincidence, she works at Young Technologies in one of the development labs and interacts with Matthew on a daily basis. She’s a little nervous about spending Thanksgiving with her boss, but I have the feeling her boss will be more concerned with other things—namely me—to really make a big deal out of the situation. Not that I really think he would; Matthew runs a rather casual atmosphere at work and as long as the job is being done correctly, he’s not usually bothered with how his employees spend their time away from work.

“Just my luck,” he mutters under his breath so that only I can hear before he plasters a smile on his face and reaches out to shake Mark’s hand. It’s only then he sees the redheaded woman sitting beside Mark and suddenly his mood picks up. “Jessica! This is a surprise.”

“Jessica is Mark’s girlfriend,” Claire helpfully announces.

Matthew looks between Mark and Jessica, then over towards me with surprise. “Oh,” he says, and I see his entire body relax slightly. Now I know he was worried about what might have been going on with Mark and me while he was essentially out of the picture for a few weeks. I swallow my disappointment at the thought that he believed I could move on from him so quickly. “Well, the more the merrier!”

Several expressions seem to clear with relief that Matthew won’t be making a scene at the very presence of Mark in his sister’s home and everyone goes back to their previous discussions, leaving Matthew to turn around and look at me again. He takes a step closer to me, then speaks, “Can you and I talk later?” he asks softly, almost pleadingly.

I can only nod in response.

He sighs with a relieved smile. “Thank you,” he says, reaching up to run a finger down my cheek. Again, I nod. With a wink, he turns back to the others in the room.

Without realizing I’m doing it, I feel my hand lift and touch the place Matthew just touched with an almost reverence. The moment I realize what I’m doing I roll my eyes, mentally scold myself for being such a girl, and join the party in the living room to watch the parade on television. Tyler is happily sitting in his father’s lap and Matthew is happily holding his son in place. I glance over at Mark who is carefully keeping up conversation with Danny and Jessica about something related to Danny’s work. Claire and Bonnie are contentedly sipping at their wine glasses. The twins are sprawled out on the loveseat near the fireplace. There is only one empty spot in which to sit if I have any hopes of ever standing up again, and it’s right next to Matthew. I wonder who set this up; judging by the smirk on his face when I cross the room to sit beside him, it was Matthew himself.

After a while, the kids get antsy and demand to go out and play in the snow. None of the adults seem willing to venture out into the cold, Matthew especially as he tries to covertly put his arm on the couch behind me. When I turn a glare on him, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit apologetic, and as normal as it feels to sit beside him like this with his arm behind me, I need distance for the moment, at least until Matthew and I have had our talk.

“Everyone get their coats on,” I announce, rising from the couch. I hear Matthew sighing behind me in what I presume to be disappointment, but I follow the kids out into the hallway as they get on their coats and gloves and snow boots, then lead them out the backdoor.

––––-o––––-

Well, this is going brilliantly… The moment Samantha leaves the room I realize today won’t be as easy as I’d hoped it would be. I saw the look in her eyes when she saw me with Tyler and I know I was reflecting that look back to her, and for a brief moment, I thought everything might just fall back into place and be normal again. I should have known better. And while I’m trying to ignore Mark Reilly’s presence in my sister’s house, now that Samantha is out of the room, that’s becoming slightly more difficult.

Though I do have to admit the fact that he brought a date is rather comforting. Jessica Mills is one of my best employees. She’s been with the company almost from the beginning and I’ve never had a problem with her or her work. The way her mind works is similar to mine in that she sees the smaller details of a project before even beginning work on it and can usually identify any and all possible problems that might arise. With her bright red hair comes a feistiness I don’t see much in my line of work; most people are too afraid to challenge me as their boss on an issue, but that’s never been the case with Jessica. If she has a problem, she’s right there to call me on it.

And if her presence keeps Reilly away from Samantha, that’s just another plus for me.

Claire stands and heads into the kitchen, and I immediately follow her, waving dismissively at Bonnie’s request for more wine. I lean against the wall beside the pantry door behind which Claire is digging around for something. She closes the door, finds me standing behind it, and yelps. “What the fuck?” she hisses, hitting me with a spatula. I raise my eyebrow at her choice of weapon. “Why are you sneaking around?”

“A better question would be why didn’t you see fit to warn me that Dr. Dipshit would be in attendance today?” I retort evenly.

“Dr.
Dipshit
?” she repeats, laughing. I glare at her; she rolls her eyes. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, big brother, I’d say you were jealous.”

I want to argue that I’m no such thing, but even I have to admit the truth once in a while. “Anyone would be when they show up at their sister’s house and find the asshole who’s trying to move in on the love of their life,” I respond.

“The man brought his girlfriend, Matt. He’s not trying to move in on Samantha,” Claire tells me patiently. “They’ve barely talked from what I’ve seen. She’s been too busy stressing about you to bother with him.”