Your Body is Changing (22 page)

Thank you for the magnificent spread. The coffee was superlative. The tea was delicious. The water was cool. The punch was luxurious. The sandwiches were delightful. The stew was rich. The soup was memorable. The broth was invigorating. The chicken was wonderful. The beef was excellent. The pork was scrumptious. The goat was aromatic. The mutton was transcendent. The elk was tangy. The moose was tender. The duck was juicy. The ostrich was flavorful. The swan was terrific. The owl was stunning. The snake was unbelievable. The monkey brains were glorious. The tapioca was pleasing.

Many of you are here to get to know me better.

I am not the flashiest candidate. I am not the most eloquent candidate. I am not the most attractive candidate. I am not the most experienced candidate. I am not the smartest candidate.

I am not the candidate with the most teeth. I am not the candidate with the best skin. I am not the candidate with both kidneys.

I am not a generous sex partner.

I don’t know the proper way to work a handsaw or light a barbecue grill.

I don’t know what to say when someone dies.

Doctors tell me I am rotting from the inside out.

I’m no good with children.

I make people nervous.

I am timid.

I am vain.

But I will work for the iceman delivering the ice.

I will work for the milkman delivering the milk.

I will work for the playwright writing his plays.

I will work for the baseball player playing with his baseballs.

I will work for the housepainter painting the house.

I will work for the housekeeper keeping the house.

I will work for the bookkeeper keeping the books.

I will work for the beekeeper keeping the bees.

I will work for the shepherd herding the sheep.

I will work for the horseman manning the horse.

I will work for the dogcatcher catching the dogs.

I will work for the fisher fishing for fish.

I will work for the firefighter fighting the fire.

There is no limit to the work I will do. I love this country.

I love the mountains.

I love the rills.

I love the factories.

I love the choirs.

I love the community watch programs.

I love the self-help groups.

I love the suicide hotlines.

I love the chat rooms.

I love the escort services.

I love the rivers.

I love the rivulets.

I love the streams.

I love the trickles.

I love the raindrops.

I love the microbes.

I love the quarks.

We stand at a crossroads.

The choice is clear.

As for me, I believe in the future.

I believe in the flag.

I believe in the children.

I believe in lemon drops.

I believe in licorice whips.

I believe in rainbows.

I believe in ponies.

I believe in dreams.