Your Next Breath (21 page)

“So you can go away? So you can go running back to Trevor? That’s not going to happen. He doesn’t want you, Jane.”

“You’re lying. He does want me.”

“Not now. I’m not worried about him. He’ll be on my side.”

“He loves me.”

“As much as he can love you. As much as you can love him. But there are all kinds of love, and you haven’t tasted more than a sip. Trevor would want you to drain the cup. You know that, Jane.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t want to know.”

“Too bad. Because I don’t really care what Trevor wants. It’s what I want that’s important.” His voice was velvet soft, insistent as a haunting melody. “And I want you to live, Jane. Not only will you live, but you’ll reach out and embrace life. I won’t have it any other way.”

“You don’t have anything to say about it. I’m dying.”

“But you’re better. I’ve been working, mending, helping you to mend yourself. I’m not there yet, but I’m closer. You’re having trouble not being aware of me all the time. I’m behind you, pushing. Soon I’ll be in front, leading.”

“No.”

“Yes.” He smiled. “Give it up. I won’t let you go. I’ll sit here and work on that mending. And now it’s time for you to think about something besides Trevor. So I’ll slip in a few memories to blur him…”

She tensed. “Of you?”

“No, we’ve not really had that kind of relationship yet. Close, but not quite there. I’m looking forward to it.” He chuckled. “No, I’ll make those memories pure as the driven snow. Not at all what you’d expect of me.”

“I don’t expect anything of you.”

“Then you should. You should expect everything from me. Because that’s what you’ll get.”

“Certainly not anything pure or without—”

“Shh, what’s more pure than the love of a puppy? Remember the day Eve gave you Toby? You were only a kid, weren’t you? Remember the excitement, the pure joy of living? And all the time he’s been with you, he’s given you that same joy. But we’ll start when he was a puppy and let you start reliving there. You were at the lake cottage, and it was only a little while after Eve and Joe took you into their home…”

*   *   *

“He’s mine, Eve? He’s really mine?” Jane hugged the half-golden retriever, half-wolf bundle of fur closer to her chest. “Sarah sent him to me to keep forever?”

“As close to forever as it gets.” Eve smiled. “She doesn’t want him back if that’s what you mean. She knew how much you loved her Monty and wanted you to have his and Maggie’s firstborn. What are you going to call him?”

“I’ll have to think. Maybe … Toby? He’s so beautiful.” Her eyes flew to meet Eve’s. “I don’t deserve him. I loved Sarah’s dog so much that I wanted him to love me instead of her. That was bad, wasn’t it, Eve? It was selfish. But I’d never had anything that was really mine to love. And now she’s given me this wonderful puppy of Monty’s to be my own. Should I call her and tell her how bad I was? Maybe she’d want him back.”

“I don’t think that’s likely,” Eve said gently. “Sarah knows what a good home you’ll give him. Because you’ve never had a home all these years, you know its value. And she’d understand that you’d need a dog of your own. Having something to love is very important.”

Jane nodded. “And when you do, you should hold on tight and never let go.” Her arms hugged the puppy closer. “That’s what I’m going to do. Never, never, let go…”

CHAPTER

9

RAIN FOREST
GUATEMALA

“Who are you?”

Catherine’s gaze went to where Montez was lying, across the fire from where she was sitting. “Awake at last? I didn’t think you’d be out that long.” She could see his muscles tense, and said quickly, “Don’t try anything. Your wrists and ankles are tied. We thought it was a wise precaution considering that you decided to sock me.”

“Who are you?” he repeated. “And who are ‘we’?”

“I’m Catherine Ling.” She reached in her jacket and pulled out her ID. “CIA. I know you’re on the run from Santos. I don’t have anything to do with him.”

“Yes, you do. I know better than that.”

“Do you?” Her eyes were narrowed on his face. “I’d like to know just how.” She jerked her head to the right. “And ‘we’ includes Richard Cameron, who is leaning against that pine over there. He’s responsible for finding some vines to tie you up so that you couldn’t sock me again. He covered some strands of wire he had with him to keep them from cutting you. Not an entirely MacGyver-like solution, but I took what I could get.”

“He’s CIA, too?”

“No, a sort of civilian.”

“Sort of?” Montez’s eyes were wide with suspicion as he gazed at Cameron. “I’ve been around too many ‘civilians’ bought off by Santos. How do I know that he’s—”

“You don’t.” Cameron strolled forward into the firelight. “You’ll have to trust Catherine to keep me in line. I’m totally terrified of her.”

“Shut up, Cameron,” Catherine said. “You’re not making it any easier for him.”

“I don’t intend to do that. I’m still a little pissed off that he clipped that lovely jaw of yours. You want to put him at ease? You do it.”

“I’m finding it difficult trusting either one of you with my hands and feet tied like this,” Montez said. “Was it you who were asking questions of Marco at the restaurant and sent Father Gabriel into a panic?”

Catherine shook her head. “No.”

He inhaled sharply. “Not CIA? I was hoping—” He stopped. “Then why did you come after me? How did you know I was on the run?”

“The world didn’t stop when you decided to hide away with Father Gabriel,” Catherine said. “Santos didn’t stop. He went after me, and when I became curious about your connection with him, it revived his interest in you.”

“It didn’t need reviving,” he said bitterly. “I knew it was only a matter of time. I just hoped that they’d keep Santos in that prison for the rest of his life. Not likely. Even when they first arrested him, he was making deals and hatching schemes.”

“Making deals?” Catherine repeated slowly. “What deals? I didn’t hear about any deals.”

“Forget it,” Montez said shortly. “Why should I talk to you? I’m better off on my own. Santos hates you. Dorgal told me how much Santos hated you.”

“Better off?” Catherine said. “I don’t think you’re doing so well, Montez.”

“Or maybe he is,” Cameron said. “It’s the people around him that are suffering.” His lips tightened. “The count is mounting. Tell him about the priest.”

“Priest?” Montez stiffened. “Father Gabriel?” He inhaled sharply. “Is he all right? He told me he was going to hide in the village.”

“He didn’t make it,” Catherine said gently. “He was dead when Cameron and I reached the church. Shot. We managed to take down the two men who did it, but it was too late for Father Gabriel.”

“God in Heaven.” Montez’s eyes closed. “My fault. I told him that it wasn’t safe for him to let me stay at the church. He wouldn’t let me leave. He said that life gives second chances, and no one should know that better than I.” He opened eyes glittering with moisture. “But he didn’t have a second chance, did he?”

“And neither did your sister, Lena,” Cameron said quietly.

“Lena?”

“Dorgal needed information. He thought she might be able to give it to him.”

Montez turned pale. “She didn’t know anything except that I was heading for this area. Nothing definite. And I was careful not to communicate with anyone after Santos killed my brother. She didn’t
know.
” He paused. “He killed her?”

“Yes,” Catherine said. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“But being sorry won’t replace her,” Cameron said. “Or get revenge for her death. Only you can do that, Montez. Talk to us. Tell us why Santos is so interested in keeping you alive. Tell us why you and Dorgal had a chat about Catherine. That must have been about the time that Santos ordered your brother’s death. Significant connection?”

Montez was silent.

“Listen, Montez,” Catherine said. “Do I feel sorry for you? Yes. I believe you tried to break with Santos. I think you may be a victim. But I have victims of my own to avenge and protect. I’ve had three friends who have died, another is hanging on by a thread. My son’s life may be on the line if I don’t find Santos. I want to know everything you know about him.” She held his gaze. “I will know it. I’ll give you a little while to absorb your own personal tragedy, but one way or the other, you’ll tell me what I need to know.”

“You’re threatening me?” His lips twisted. “I gave in to threats once, and where did it get me? I’m tired of threats. Look at you. You’re such a beautiful woman. But you’re probably as much a monster as Delores Santos.”

“Catherine’s not a monster,” Cameron said softly. “And I’m irritated that you’d call her that. You don’t want to irritate me, Montez.”

“Drop it, Cameron. We’ve thrown some pretty rough flak at him.” Catherine turned and pulled out the well-thumbed book with the yellow cover she’d taken out of Montez’s knapsack. She pointed to the title
Maggi.
“What is this, Montez?”

He tensed. “What do you think it is?”

“I can’t make heads or tails of it or I wouldn’t be asking you. It looks like a bunch of chemical formulas.”

“Give it to me. It’s mine.”

“What is it?” she repeated.

“You might as well give it to me. No one would understand it but me.”

“I have a friend who might. Hu Chang would find it interesting.”

“
Give
it to me.”

“After we have a talk about Santos and how you can help me save the people I care about.” She put the book back in her jacket. “And after I’m sure that it’s of no value to Santos. I’m not giving him anything that he wants.”

“I wouldn’t give him anything he wants if I can help it,” Montez said desperately. “I’ll disappear. I’ll dig down so deep, no one will be able to find me. All I want is to keep him from killing any more of my family. Let me go.”

“I might be able to do that if I was sure that you couldn’t help me find Santos. But I’m not sure that’s true.” She paused, her gaze on his face, waiting for any flicker of expression. “Have you ever been to the place where Santos has set up his new headquarters?”

Montez stared her in the eye. “No, I have not. I dealt only with Dorgal. I talked to Santos on the phone several times years ago, but that was before you managed to topple him and send him to prison.”

“He didn’t communicate with you while he was in prison?”

“No, everything was through Dorgal after that. Nor has Dorgal ever given me a hint as to where Santos’s new compound is located. I knew that Dorgal was setting up a safe haven for Santos somewhere, but I hoped that Santos would stay in prison and not be able to use it.”

“Safe haven,” Cameron repeated. “How would you know what Dorgal was doing for Santos? It had to be top secret. Why would you know, Montez?”

Montez didn’t answer.

Cameron’s voice turned stinging hard. “Why?”

“Because I
had
to know. Satisfied?” A muscle was jerking in Montez’s cheek, and his dark eyes held panic. “But I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to know anything more. I could see where it was headed. That’s why I ran away.” His gaze flew back to Catherine. “And they let me go, but they gave me a warning.”

“Your brother’s death.”

He nodded.

“But can’t you see that it will just keep on? Your brother, your sister, Father Gabriel? How many deaths will you accept before you fight back?”

“I can see that if I don’t take that warning, Santos will kill another one of my family. My mother is still alive, and so is my little nephew, Nathaniel.”

“Everything you do is a danger to your family. You ran away, and your brother died. You stayed hidden, and they wanted to find you, so your sister died.” Her voice was shaking with passion. “Do you think I don’t know how that feels? Santos is threatening everyone I love, and it seems everything I do is the wrong thing. But your choice is to be a slave to that son of a bitch or fight him. You
must
know something, or Santos wouldn’t have been afraid of having me find you.”

“I don’t know where he is,” Montez repeated. “I can’t help it if you won’t believe me.”

She did believe him. “Okay, but I think you can help us to find him. Will you try to do that? Look, we could set a trap for him if you’d consent to be the bait. Let Dorgal capture you and take you to Santos. We’ll find a way to track you. We’ll protect you and your family, and we’ll make sure Santos never troubles you again.”

“You’re crazy. You expect me to trust you that much?”

“I hope you will.” She held his gaze. “I’m telling you the truth. Can’t you see it?”

He looked away from her.

“I know it’s dangerous, but so is being on the run from Santos when any moment he might decide he doesn’t need you.
Help
us, Montez.”

He shook his head.

“I could persuade him,” Cameron offered.

“No, it’s not that simple. Didn’t you hear me? I believe him. I don’t want him hurt. We’ll just stay here, and I’ll try to convince him that—”

“I could do that, too.” Cameron tilted his head. “Or go inside and attempt to find out why Santos wants him kept alive. Though he’s so stubborn, there might be minor damage.”

“Go inside,” Montez repeated warily.

“Not unless there’s no other way,” Catherine said. “I told you, I don’t want him hurt. He’s suffered enough. We just need to make it clear to him what—”

Cameron’s cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and put it on speaker. “Dario.”

“I hope you’re moving very fast, Cameron,” Dario said. “Because you may have company soon.”

“What kind of company?”

“Dorgal. He must have been on his way to San Esposito and sent those two men who killed the priest on ahead.”

“He’s alone?”

“He was alone when he flew into the airport. He checked out the situation at the church, made a few phone calls, and two hours later he got reinforcements from over the border and a few local villages. By the time he started tracking you into that rain forest, he had twenty-two men.”

Catherine muttered a curse.

“Is that our lovely Catherine?” Dario asked. “You won’t be totally alone. I gathered together five of my own men, who are far superior to Dorgal’s, and we’re only fifteen, twenty minutes behind him. However, he has to be fairly close to you.”