You're Still the One (7 page)

Luke leaned back against the booth. “Sure. I always figured I'd end up here at some point.” He smiled. “I just keep getting jobs in Cali.”

Cam wiped his fingers on a napkin as he looked at Hayden. “The question is, would
you
?”

“Sure, if the timing was right.” Which it wasn't just now. Give him two more years in France then he could come home. Bex would probably be gone by then, and he could settle back in. Wait, this was all about Bex? No, it was more than that. It was him following his dreams and not caving in to his family's desire for him to come home. This was
his
time.

“So, uh, we saw Bex at breakfast the other morning after you left,” Jamie said. “How's that going?”

Cam had texted Hayden as soon as he'd seen her—three simple letters:
WTF
. Hayden had responded that it had been a surprise, but they hadn't talked about it in depth.

Hayden shrugged. “Fine, I guess. I've barely seen her.” He'd expected to run into Bex at the family dinner last night since she was staying in the house, but had learned that she'd gone back to Eugene first thing Sunday morning to finish moving out of her apartment. She'd been due back today to start at the brewery, but something had tripped her up and she wouldn't be back until tomorrow.

Cam sat back and blinked. “No shit?” He looked over at Hayden. “I can't believe you're cool with that.”

“Kind of have to be, don't I?” Hayden took a drink of beer, feeling a bit uncomfortable discussing this, but refusing to acknowledge the sensation. He wasn't going to let Bex get under his skin. Not after he'd worked so hard to finally move past her. “It's cool, really.”

Luke finished his beer and poured another. “You were hooked on her for a long time.”

“Hooked as in past tense,” Hayden pointed out. “Her being here is . . . weird, sure. But it doesn't affect me. I'm only here a few weeks anyway.”

Cam exhaled, and Hayden could hear the disappointment in the vocalization. “Right.”

“I guess that means the winery plan is just a pipe dream.” Jamie also sounded disappointed.

Hayden couldn't really blame them. The entire scenario was not only possible, but damn enticing. Could he consider it? He'd rushed into telling his family he was staying in France, but acknowledged—to himself—that it had been a knee-jerk reaction to their underhandedness in hiring Bex. If that hadn't happened, he'd be seriously thinking about this plan.

But it
had
happened, and Bex was here. For good. Or at least for as long as she could stand it. He gave her a year. Two, tops. He could put up with her for that long, couldn't he? Ribbon Ridge was a small town, but surely it was big enough for both of them.

Oh, he was being stupid. This wasn't some Hallmark Channel movie that his mom and sisters liked to watch at Christmastime. Maybe he could think about the winery for a few days at least. He figured he could tell Antoine he was taking the job after the wedding next weekend—he knew Hayden wanted to think about it for at least a week. In the meantime, he'd see how things felt.

The winery idea could be postponed anyway. Luke was tied to his job in Napa for the short term at least, and Hayden wouldn't be gone forever. Unless this job turned into something even more phenomenal. Could he turn his back on Ribbon Ridge?

He wanted to say no, but realized he'd somehow come to learn that nothing was certain. No matter how badly you wanted it to be.

B
EX LET HERSELF
into the back door of the Archer house on Tuesday night. Even though she'd done it hundreds of times, it still felt strange to be doing it now. Things were different.
She
was different.

But how? More guarded and more tentative, she realized. When she'd been younger, she'd jumped into life here in Ribbon Ridge, into the Archer family really, and she'd been in way over her head. They shared things she'd never dream of sharing with her parents. There was a closeness she just hadn't understood, and it had made her uncomfortable. Oh, she supposed they'd tried to include her, but she hadn't wanted it. She hadn't wanted that level of intimacy. Did she want it now?

It didn't matter. She wasn't a part of this family just because she worked for them. And was staying in their house. Good grief, she needed to find a place of her own, stat.

She trudged toward the kitchen, exhausted after driving up from Eugene that morning and working all day in the brewery. She'd stopped here briefly to drop the last of her stuff off this morning, but she'd been anxious to get to work, especially since she'd missed yesterday due to a mix-up with the storage containers.

As she rounded the corner into the kitchen, she stopped short. Emily was dishing up ice cream next to the fridge. She looked up at Bex with a warm smile. “Hi there, are you just getting in?” She glanced at the clock, which said it was after nine.

“Yes, long day. I'm wiped out.”

“I bet. Are you hungry?”

Bex's stomach growled, answering for her.

Emily laughed softly. “There's some leftover pasta salad and a chicken breast if you're interested.”

Bex would've settled for well-seasoned cardboard. “Sounds great. But, I'll get it. You need to eat your ice cream before it melts.”

Emily put the container back in the freezer. “I suppose I do. You want some company?”

It was a casual, simple question, but complicated just the same. Bex could say no, that she was too tired and would eat in her room. That would establish some necessary distance between her and the Archers.

But
was
it necessary? She wasn't in danger of anything. She was a houseguest, nothing more. Okay, and an employee. Though, not of this woman.

“Sure.” What would be the harm? Besides, Bex liked Emily. She just didn't know what to do with this family's . . .
inclusiveness
, for lack of a better word. Bex opened the fridge and found the chicken breast and salad. She considered whether to heat the chicken up and decided she'd rather just chop it and eat it with the pasta salad. Easy and fast.

Emily sat down on the other side of the counter at the bar. “There's some fresh lemonade in there, too.”

Of course there was. “You are the only mother in the world who could have fresh lemonade on hand four days before your daughter is getting married.”

Emily chuckled. “It's important for everyone to stay hydrated. It's been so hot. I hope it cools off a little before Saturday. The wedding and reception are both outside.” She ate a bite of ice cream while Bex prepped her salad and asked, “How's your mom? Is she still in Seattle?”

Emily had never met Bex's mother, and Bex had shared the bare minimum. She hadn't wanted to talk about her parents' inattention and self-absorption. Looking back, she realized she'd been embarrassed. And she still was to a certain extent.

“Yes, still in Seattle and still shilling big pharma.” Bex's mother lived in a high-rise condo with her eight-years-younger boyfriend. “I lived up there for about eighteen months before I moved to Eugene.”

Bex had taken a job at a brewpub in Seattle thinking she and her mother might have a better relationship as adults. She'd been wrong.

“And how'd that go?” Emily's question wasn't just polite. There was a genuine note of concern and interest. It had taken Bex a little while to figure that out because in her experience it was a mother's job to instruct, expect, and ignore. And even then, the instructions and expectations were pretty minimal.

“It was fine.”

“I hope you don't mind my saying this, but I've always wondered why your parents never visited you here, particularly after you and Hayden moved in together.”

It wasn't a question, but Bex couldn't ignore the statement. She could, however, deflect and rely on the same excuse she'd given for her parents her entire life. “They're both really busy.”

Emily spooned another bite of ice cream. “That's too bad. And how's your dad?”

Bex finished making her salad and poured a glass of lemonade. “He's good.”

Her relationship with him was far better, despite his general anxiety and being a workaholic who depended on alcohol and other medicinal supplements to help him “relax.” She'd gone to live with him after her parents had divorced when she was twelve. That her mother had given full custody to her father had been upsetting at first, but every time Bex had visited her mom in Seattle, she'd seen how much better off she was in Bend. Dad ignored her too—when they'd been married they'd both ignored her, so it made sense that they would continue—but he at least made sure she had food and clothes and whatever else she needed. “He's still working at the ER.”

Emily's eyes flickered with surprise. “Really? I would think he'd want to take it a bit easier at some point, maybe go into private practice.”

That would require him to establish lasting relationships with patients. Bex nearly laughed. He and his girlfriend didn't even live together, and they'd been dating for nearly a decade.

Emily shook her head. “Sorry. I don't mean to butt in. You've always been very private about your family.” She gave Bex a meek smile and went back to her ice cream.

Bex stood there for a moment, her hands full with the salad bowl and the glass of lemonade. She sensed Emily felt bad for her, and she'd always hated it when people pitied her—teachers, coaches, her friends' parents. They'd seen how alone she was and either made “supportive” comments or outright tried to intervene by including Bex in their events. It wasn't that Bex hadn't appreciated their efforts. She just didn't know how not to be alone. She
liked
being alone. Except for the first time she wondered if being alone had somehow, somewhere become feeling lonely instead.

She'd thought about retreating upstairs with her dinner but found herself circling the bar and sitting down next to Emily. “My family is pretty messed up.”

Emily turned on the stool and looked at her. “What do you mean by ‘messed up'?”

“Well, let's see. My mom never took me school shopping, taught me to make my own dinners when I was seven, and attended exactly one parent-teacher conference.”

Emily stared at her, but her gaze was sympathetic. “I don't know what to say. What about your dad?”

“He was marginally better. He made sure I had school supplies and clothes to wear, even if they weren't the most stylish.” She laughed, which she could do now. “When I was eleven, I begged him to just drop me off at the mall for a few hours so I could buy my own clothes.”

“And he let you?” Emily looked horrified.

Bex smiled at her. “It's okay. I grew up pretty fast. I had to. And I turned out okay.” She hoped she'd turned out okay.

Emily finished her ice cream and shook her head. “I had no idea.”

Bex looked down at her food and thought she maybe should've eaten upstairs after all. “Yeah, I didn't like to talk about them much. I still don't.”

In fact, the only person she'd ever told these things to had been Hayden. He'd actually met both of her parents, accompanying her on a few trips during their relationship. It had seemed necessary to prep him for their narcissism, since his family experience was completely different. His reaction, particularly upon meeting them in person, was much the same as Emily's.

“You turned out just fine,” Emily said firmly. “But who knows if that's a credit to them or to you. I would venture to say it's the latter. I was always impressed with your independence. You reminded me a lot of Tori. Not that you're just like her,” she clarified. “There are differences.”

Yeah, Bex lacked the nurturing instinct that Tori seemed to have. Bex could take perfectly good care of herself, but that was about it. Once, she'd been alone here at the house with Alex, and he'd needed help changing his oxygen tank. He'd walked her through it, but she'd felt awkward and nervous and had accidentally let a lot of oxygen out of the tank. In the end, he'd laughed, but she'd sensed his frustration along the way. Probably because it hadn't been the first time she'd botched something to do with him. On another occasion, she'd taken him to a doctor appointment, and she'd caught his oxygen tube in the door, creating a hole. She supposed that made her seem more klutzy than anything, but in her mind, it reinforced the idea she'd cultivated since childhood—alone was easier, better.

Bex stuffed a bite of salad in her mouth before she decided to keep oversharing.

Emily exhaled. “I'm always surprised when offspring turn out so different from their parents, but I shouldn't be. Kyle isn't really like either one of us, and for a while there, we wondered if we'd lost him for good.”

Bex briefly compared herself with her parents and was surprised to find she wasn't that different. She cringed. Maybe she'd never opened herself up to the Archers because she was too self-involved. She'd been incredibly focused on chasing her own dreams, but maybe deep down she hadn't wanted to connect with these people.

Emily smiled at her and rested her elbow on the counter. “How was today at the brewhouse?”

Grateful for the change of topic, Bex swallowed the bite of salad she'd just taken. “Great. I spent the day getting organized so I can start brewing tomorrow.”

“You must be so excited. Like Hayden when he went to France. I was there with him last summer for a couple of months. After Alex, things were difficult.”

Bex had seen Emily at Alex's funeral. She'd been pale and withdrawn, a shell of the vibrant woman Bex had known before and nothing like the woman who was sitting here now. “Was it good for you to get away?”

Emily nodded. “Spending that time with Hayden might have saved me, actually. Watching him immerse himself in his dream was very cathartic.”

Bex felt a mixture of emotions—happiness that it must have been a good respite for both of them and discomfort because here again was the family intimacy she wasn't used to. This was when she'd typically change the subject or leave the room. But she found she didn't want to. The awkwardness she was feeling didn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe it was a challenge worth fighting.