You're the One I Want (17 page)

“Who the fuck is that?” I heard someone ask. It sounded like Eldridge's voice.

I rested my hand on the butt of the gun, ready for whatever. As soon as the door flew open, I aimed the semiautomatic in the face of this meaty-ass, dark-skinned, African bastard, wearing a white tank top, black baggy shorts, and white socks with black Nike flip-flops. A gold grill capped his teeth. His cigarette dropped from his lips when he found himself staring down the barrel of my gun.

“What the fuck?” Eldridge mouthed.

I couldn't hear what he was saying through the loud music. The front room reeked of dank. There was a bucket of chicken, forties, and money on the table. I loved N.W.A., but that shit was getting on my nerves, so I shot at the large sound system that was sitting in one of the corners of the room.

“Whoa, whoa, damn, girl, you crazy?” Eldridge asked, shielding his face with his hand.

“Where Taniesha at?”

“How the fuck should I know. I haven't seen that bitch in days.”

“Stop lying. I know she's here.”

“You need to turn around and walk yo' ass back out that door before I forget you're Taniesha lil' sister.”

“I'm not doin' shit until I walk out of here with Taniesha.”

“Bitch, he told you—” Before Tank Top could finish his sentence, I shot him in his right foot. “AAAGGGHHH!” He fell to the floor, holding his foot. Eldridge gave me this sinister look, knowing that I wasn't fucking around. “Bitch fuckin' shot me! Man, shutcho ass up!”

I held the gun directly at Eldridge's face, itching to pop the next bullet between his bloodshot eyes. “Where the fuck is my sister?”

“She's in the room in the back,” Tank Top yelled.

“Man, shut up, damn.”

“Walk,” I told Eldridge.

“Bitch, walk where?”

“To the room. If you did something to Taniesha, there won't be a hole deep enough to throw your ass in. Now move.”

Eldridge led the way down the hall to the bedroom. Taniesha was lying unconscious on the bed, naked.

“Taniesha, it's me Tangela.” When I tried to wake her up, she moaned in protest. I was happy to see that she was alive. Barely, but alive. “What the hell did you do to her?”

“Nothin' she wasn't begging me for.”

“Why won't she open her eyes?”

“She's high, that's all. You got what you came for, now why don't you and your ho-ass sister get the fuck out of my crib.”

As I struggled to get Taniesha dressed, I noticed a needle and a small bag of heroin on the bedside table. “You the one who got her hooked on this nasty shit.”

“I didn't do nothing to her she didn't want to happen.”

“Fuck that. If she hadn't have met you, none of this would be happening to her.” I walked up to Eldridge and held the barrel of the gun directly in the center of his forehead.

“Girl, you need to donate your brain to science, 'cause you obviously ain't using it.”

“Fuck you.”

“You think you the only female that has pointed a burner at me?”

“I should do everyone a favor and splatter your head all over these fuckin' walls.”

“You better, 'cause I'm comin' for you if you don't. You, Taniesha, and your damn mama, bitch.”

“Tangela, what the fuck are you doing here?” Taniesha asked.

“Girl. I'm here to take you home.”

“This is home.”

“This place ain't your home. This bastard don't care about you. He just wants to keep you messed up on junk and then turn you out on the street when he's done with you.”

“That ain't true. Eldridge loves me.”

“That's right. I love you, baby. You my girl.”

“Shut up! Don'tchu talk to her.”

“You heard her. She
is
home. So why don't you get out of here and maybe I'll forget this shit happened.”

“I'm not leaving here without her.”

Taniesha barely had her clothes on, but she was decent enough to go out in public. With the gun aimed at Eldridge, I lifted Taniesha up off the bed and dragged her out of the room, down the hall, past Tank Top, who was unconscious, his foot a bleeding mess.

“If I see your head peek out of this door, I will shoot it off.”

I eased Taniesha into the passenger's side before I rushed around
to the driver's side. When Eldridge peeked his head out, I let off a shot.

“Bitch, this ain't over.”

I ignored his empty threats and hauled ass out of there.

•  •  •

On the way home, Taniesha was hunched over, holding her stomach. I thought she was going to throw up, so I rolled the window down. “Tangela, I'm sick.”

“Don't worry, sis. You'll feel a lot better when I get you back to the house. You need some food in you, that's all.”

I drove home as fast as Mama's PT Cruiser would take us, flying past stop signs and red lights, and surprisingly not getting stopped once by the cops.

“Okay, Taniesha, we're home.” She wasn't saying anything. I shook her to try to get her to wake up, but she wouldn't. “Taniesha, stop playin', wake up.” I couldn't tell if she was breathing, so I felt for a pulse. There wasn't one. “Taniesha, wake up! Please, sis, wake up!” I got out of the car and rushed to her side and pulled open the door. I shook her repeatedly, but she wouldn't open her eyes. “Taniesha, please wake up, Please!” I took my sister into my arms, dragging her out of the car. I screamed, begging her to open her eyes. She felt cold. There was no life in her once pretty face. My big sister was dead.

Taniesha was buried on Saturday, March 12, 2011, at Southwood Cemetery. The day of the funeral, I could barely hold it together. The church was so full, there weren't enough seats for everyone. Family and close friends, including Akeila and Milan, were at the funeral. People spoke so well of my big sis, about how nice and generous she was to everyone she met. Before we'd even arrived at the church, I could smell gin on Mama's breath. I couldn't stomach
to look at her because I blamed her partly for what had happened to Taniesha. Had she not been so fucking selfish and in denial about what was up, Tanieshaa might have been alive today.

After her death, Mama's drinking spiraled out of control to where I couldn't take it anymore. I had already lost one person I loved to addiction and couldn't bear to see Mama go down that same road of self-destruction. I left Fort Lauderdale. I left her a note explaining that I wasn't going to stick around and watch her destroy herself. I moved to Tallahassee where I later enrolled in some beauty and cosmetology classes at Lively Technical Institute. After six months, I got my license to do hair. I wasn't just doing it for myself, but for my beautiful big sister, who taught me everything I knew.

I
had been counting down to the second of Kashawn's homecoming. Jayson had given him a clean bill of health and I was happy knowing that I wouldn't have to spend another night in the house alone, to roll over to find Kashawn's side of the bed empty and cold to the touch. I got the idea to throw him a homecoming party, inviting all his close friends, along with Tyrique, Lathan, and Maleek. I could have done without Mama Liz, though. She thought I didn't notice her cutting me these nasty looks every time I so much as breathed in her direction. At that point, I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. Once she got something in her head, it was hard to convince the old bitch otherwise. But whatever. I was married to Kashawn, not her. Ever since the night Kashawn was brought in, she'd been up under him like some damn lioness fighting to protect her cub from danger. I guessed that danger being me. I was done with her. Maybe Kashawn could get through her plate of armor.

Deanthony had really been there for me since that whole fucked-up night. He had spent the last few weeks even getting the house clean and ready for Kashawn's homecoming. I didn't know what I would do if it wasn't for him. The day of the party when Kashawn was supposed to come home, Mama Liz volunteered to go pick him up from the hospital. Uncle Ray-Ray was out on the deck, manning the grill, cooking up a mess of barbecue ribs, chicken,
hot dogs, and sausages for the guests. That man had the whole neighborhood smelling good. Guests kept bugging him about wanting to get his secret barbecue sauce recipe, but he stayed tight-lipped about it.

“I'm taking it to my grave,” he said. He don't know 'til this day that Kashawn let me in on the secret ingredient that had everyone's mouths watering and stomachs growling for his famous barbecue. Uncle Ray-Ray had told me something about brown sugar and lemon juice. Uncle Ray-Ray would cut Kashawn a new asshole if he knew he told me of the secret ingredient.

I was anxious to see my husband, to feel him in my arms again, but Mama Liz insisted on going to pick him up. I didn't push it and let her do her thing. She probably thought I was going to drive Kashawn off a damn cliff or something. I held back and entertained our family and friends. I made sure that everything was perfect. I was his wife and it was about damn time I acted like it. I made sure there was plenty of booze and beer, especially Heineken, Kashawn's favorite. I remembered he told me once that, if he had a choice out of blood or beer running through his veins, he would choose beer, and it would be Heineken. Every crack and crevice of the house was stuffed to the ceiling with people. Hell, you would have thought it was Kashawn's wake. The hors d'oeuvres I had prepared flew off the tray before I could even set them down on the table.

“So what time are they supposed to be releasing Kashawn?” Ebonya asked, sucking Corona from the bottle through a straw.

“His doctor told me around two-ish. Mama Liz went to go get him.”

“Girl, what did you do, invite the whole neighborhood?”

“Child, I know, right? Half of these people I don't even know.”

“That's what I was telling Tyrique.”

“Some of these people are from the neighborhood, and I only invited a few. Girl, I can't stand party crashers.”

“That only goes to show that Uncle Ray-Ray's barbecue has a way of bringing black folks together,” Ebonya said. Tyrique walked over and joined in the conversation.

“Ty, do you know who all of these people are?” I asked.

“Some of them I recognize, yeah. Most of them are from the hospital, I think. I guess they heard about 'Shawn being in the hospital and wanted to show their respects.”

“I guess it doesn't matter. We got plenty of food. It isn't like I can tell all these people to leave,” I said, sipping beer from a red Dixie cup. I should have gone with Mama Liz's idea to have a simple intimate dinner with family and close friends instead of stuffing the house with a bunch of people.

“So how are you holding up?” Deanthony startled me, standing over my shoulder.

“I'm anxious as hell. I should have gone myself to go pick him up. I hope he won't be mad that I didn't go with your mama to get him. I love your mama, but you know that I can't be in a confined space with that woman for too long.”

Deanthony chuckled, knowing exactly what I was talking about. “You had to keep shit running around here. I know ‘Shawn, and I think he'll understand.”

“Mama Liz is back,” Jayson announced.

I checked my hair and makeup in one of the hallway mirrors. I looked sickening in my red Michael Kors pencil dress newly purchased from Macy's that I struggled to stuff my booty and hips into. Lathan, Maleek, and Jayson had been checking me out all day. I even caught Tyrique stealing a few glances when he thought Ebonya wasn't watching him like a hawk. I was serving it, giving red carpet realness. I got Kashawn's dick brick when I wore tight clothes.

“Come on here, girl, they're on their way,” Ebonya said.

“Do I have any lipstick on my teeth?” I turned to her and asked.

“No, you good.”

“Okay,” I said, rubbing my palms together. “Damn, I feel like a mail-order bride meeting her husband for the first time.”

“You so silly, girl, come on.”

The nine-inch fuchsia pumps I had on were killing me, but, damn it, beauty is pain. Everyone was standing around, sipping from the containers of their chosen drinks, waiting anxiously for Kashawn to walk through the door.

“Hush, y'all quiet down,” I said. My heart was pounding like a percussion drum that sank at the floor of my stomach when Mama Liz walked in without Kashawn in tow. “Mama Liz, where's Kashawn?”

“When I got there, they told me at the nurse's station that someone picked him up already.”

“Who?”

“A nurse said it was some woman.”

Damn, lady, you never ask the important questions.

“What woman?”

“They didn't tell me. They just said that she said he was a friend of the family.”

They didn't tell you? You didn't bother to ask?

“Let me call his cell, see what's going on.”

Just as I was dialing Kashawn's number, Tangela and Kashawn walked in.

“Surprise!” everyone yelled.

Kashawn beamed, smiling from ear to ear, as family, friends, and party-crashing neighbors clapped to his arrival. “What's all this?” he asked.

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Welcome home, baby,” I said, roping
my arms around his neck in one of the biggest hugs I had ever given him. I knew something was up when he gave a kind of half-embrace instead of the big grizzly-bear hugs I had gotten used to. “How you feelin'?”

“Good. I'm just glad to finally be up out of that death house,” he announced.

A synchronization of laughter filled the living room.

“Welcome home, bro.”

When Deanthony embraced Kashawn, he acted like Deanthony had cooties or something. Doubt Deanthony even noticed how shady Kashawn was being. When Uncle Ray-Ray walked in from the deck, Kashawn broke past the both of us to greet him.