Yours for the Taking (20 page)

“What happened?”

“Papa sold Rafael for drug money.”

Tina crossed herself. “Oh God. No. How? People just don’t sell babies.”

Gina stared at the wall and rocked. “Yeah, they do.” She stopped for a moment and tried to get the image of Papa ripping Rafael from her arms out of her head. “I did my best to take care of him, I really did. I fed and changed him when there was food and diapers. I tried to keep him quiet so Papa wouldn’t get mad. A week or two after Mama came home with Rafael, Papa got you and me dressed up in our best clothes. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I wore this little red dress Mama bought at the Salvation Army. It still had the tags on it from Macy’s. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. You had on a frilly pink dress you hated because the lace was scratchy.”

She took a deep breath and held Tina’s hand. She was shaking. “He had us stand next to the door when a man and a woman came in. They gave Papa a stack of hundred dollar bills and took Rafael from me. That’s when Papa tried to sell us too.”

The tears started again and she swallowed hard. “I hit him and kicked him. I couldn’t let him take you too. I tried to get Rafael, but Papa threw me into the wall. My head was bleeding, my ears were ringing, and I couldn’t see straight, but I was able to grab you, run into the bathroom, and lock the door. I heard them say they didn’t want us because we were too old. When Papa came after us, he told me we were worthless, he couldn’t even give us away. He took the money and left. Mama just kept drinking. She never stopped after that.”

“I can’t believe you never told me.”

“I couldn’t. Don’t you see, this was all my fault?”

“Gina, you were six.”

“Maybe if I’d taken better care of him—”

“There was nothing you could have done. You’ve been carrying this around all your life? You were a child. You never should have had to take care of anyone, not me or Rafael. Papa probably did him a favor, so stop blaming yourself. There was nothing you could have done.”

“I never wanted you to feel like I did, like I do. I let him down. I couldn’t take care of him. I need to find him.”

Tina rocked her, holding on tight. “Gina, I understand why you didn’t tell me when I was young, but you should have once Sam and I were together. He could have helped us find Rafael.”

“I lost Rafael and I need to find him.” She grabbed another handful of tissues and wiped the tears away. “That’s why I married Ben. I knew that with the money, I’d be able to hire someone to find our brother. I just have to know he’s okay.”

“We’ll find him together.”

Gina heard Ben’s voice and wanted to throw up. She probably would have if she’d had anything in her stomach.

***

Gina and Tina both turned white.

Ben ignored Tina who ran into Sam’s arms and they backed out of the door. Of course, Gina wasn’t that easy. “You didn’t think I’d stay downstairs when you were so upset, did you? Sweetheart, I love you. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”

He wanted to pick her up and hold her. Ben was so mad he was shaking. He hoped her father was dead because if Ben ever found the bastard, he’d make it his life’s mission to string him up and watch him die a slow and painful death.

Ben sat beside her on their bed. “I’ll do whatever you need. We can hire a team of investigators. I promise I’ll find him.”

“The only thing I want from you is a divorce.” Gina was deadly calm, almost emotionless. “You can have your money back. Sam, Tina, and I can be out of the house tomorrow. Just let me sign the ranch over to you and end this.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Gina looked him in the eye. “I do. Now go. I’ll call my lawyer in the morning, have her transfer the deed to you, and send you a check. I don’t want your money, the house, any of it. I just want you to leave and forget you ever knew me.”

Ben didn’t know what hit him. She couldn’t mean this. God, but she looked him in the eye and said it. “Gina, please don’t do this to us.”

“There is no us. There never was, not really. Please, just leave.”

“No.” He shook his head and he wondered if he’d imagined everything they had together. “We can work this out.”

“There’s nothing to work out. You’ll get the ranch and I’ll get a divorce. That was the deal. Please, for once, live up to your end of the bargain.”

Ben knew he’d lost her, if he ever had her in the first place. He couldn’t give a shit about the damn ranch, the house, and the money. All he wanted was Gina, and nothing he said would change her stubborn mind. The only person who could do that was Gina.

“Fine, I’ll live up to my end if you live up to yours. You keep the money and the house. They’re yours. I won’t take them back.” He got up and took one last look at his wife. “I’ll have my lawyer draw up the papers.”

Tears streamed down Gina’s face and every one hit him like a bullet to the heart.

“I love you. That’s not going to change. Not ever. I might walk out that door, and since you’re insisting, I’ll give you a divorce, but I’ll never stop loving you.”

The last time Ben had felt pain this bad was when his grandfather told him his parents were dead. He never thought anything could beat that. This was too close to call. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs when he saw Sam. “She wants a divorce. Tell her if she moves out of this house and sends me the money, I’ll hold up the divorce for all eternity. I don’t want her to ever worry about money. Do you understand me?”

Sam nodded. “Maybe she’ll change her mind.”

Ben shook his head in defeat. “Have you ever known Gina to change her mind?” When Sam didn’t answer, he nodded. “I didn’t think so. Take care of her for me, Sam. You have my number. If you or Gina ever need anything, all you have to do is call.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Ben, the phone works both ways. If you need anything—”

“The only thing I need is Gina. But thanks, Sam.” He turned and walked out before he did something embarrassing like start crying.

Gina watched Ben walk out for the last time. He closed the door softly behind him and she pulled a pillow to her chest and cried. Letting him go was the hardest thing she’d ever done, even harder than telling Tina about Rafael. It was the right thing to do. Ben deserved better than her. He was probably thanking his lucky stars, and even if he wasn’t, he’d forget her soon enough. They all did.

Tina knocked. Gina couldn’t take any more talking, she just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. “Please, just leave me alone.”

Tina pushed open the door. “Good luck with that. Ben left and said if we move out, he won’t divorce you. I say we start packing.”

“No, we’ll do what he wants for now. Once the divorce is final, I’ll sell the house, take all the proceeds and everything else he’s given me, and send it to Joe. He’ll make sure Ben gets it. I’ll figure out another way to find Rafael. Maybe I can get a second job.”

“Gina, why are you doing this? I know you’re in love with him. He’s in love with you, which, in my book, is a minor miracle since we both know you’re not an easy woman to love. He’s got it all, girlfriend, and he’s definitely not gay. Why are you divorcing the man?”

“I don’t love him. Do me a favor, take care of Jasmine for me, and go. I just want to be left alone.”

“Gina—”

“Tina, please. Just leave me alone.”

“I don’t do dogs. Jasmine is your problem. Sam and I will be downstairs if you need us.”

“I don’t need anyone, why can’t anyone understand that? Please, just go.”

She heard the click of the door closing; she picked Jasmine up, lay in her bed, and cried. She felt as if she’d been beaten. Everything hurt.

***

Ben drove back to the city. He walked into his apartment and looked around maybe for the first time since returning to New York and wondered how he’d ever lived here. It looked sterile.

“It’s about time you got here. I’ve been waitin’ for you, boy.”

When Ben heard his grandfather’s voice, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Who let you in?”

“That nice little partner of yours, Annabelle. It’s nice to know one woman still likes me.” Joe walked past him headed toward the kitchen. “I sure as hell hope you have something to eat in this house. I haven’t had a decent meal since Gina left.”

“You flew all the way out here to eat? I know there are great restaurants right in Boise. You even own a few of them.”

“Kate’s on strike. She wouldn’t feed me or do anything except tell me what an ass I am. She had no problem doing that, and I won’t mention what she said about you. She wouldn’t even give me the tree-bark muffins and rabbit food she’s always trying to push on me. I had to come here to get away from her.”

“Lucky me.”

“What do you want me to do? Hell, I’ve been eatin’ beans for a week—they’re the only thing I know how to cook—and let me just say, they ain’t agreein’ with me. It’s gettin’ ugly, boy, and I’m down to my last pair of shorts. I went to Humpin’ Hannah’s yesterday to get a hamburger, and Karma wouldn’t even serve me. It’s just not fittin’.”

Ben went to the bar and fixed himself a drink. “It serves you right. That stunt you pulled wrecked my marriage.”

Joe came out of the kitchen with a box of leftover Chinese food and a fork. “You can’t blame me for that. You wrecked your marriage all by your lonesome. I was just trying to keep you two together and you threw a monkey wrench in my plans. How was I to know you would do something as stupid as accusing your wife of using me? As if she could even if she wanted to, which she didn’t. That little girl doesn’t have a dishonest bone in her body, and if you think she does, you don’t deserve her or the ranch.”

Ben took a swig of his scotch. “Do me a favor, Gramps, just leave me the hell alone. I don’t need you coming down on me too.” He took the bottle and his glass and headed to his room. He hoped his grandfather wouldn’t follow him in.

“You know where the guest room is, Gramps. The washer and dryer is in the hall closet. The directions are on the detergent. Since you’re so smart, you should have no problem figuring out how to use it.”

“Oh, are you gonna lock yourself in your room again and sulk? What you need to do is stop drinking yourself into a stupor and figure out a way to get your wife back.”

Ben shut the door and stared at his big empty room. He thought about going back to the ranch. Gina wouldn’t kick him out of there. Besides, it wasn’t as if she’d know or even care where he was. But the thought of being at the ranch without her just made him feel worse. At least here there weren’t many memories of her.

Ben’s cell phone rang as he sat on the bed. He looked to see who it was. “Yeah, Trapper, what do you need?”

“I was wondering how things were going, and I wanted to tell you that Grandpa Joe is missing.”

“No he’s not. He’s here. Thank Kate for me, would you? Like I really needed Gramps camping at my place telling me what an idiot I am. As if I’m not doing a good enough job of it on my own. Gina wants a divorce.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“What can I do? I’m afraid if I fight her on it she’ll move out of the house and throw the money back in my face.”

“That’s not a problem for most men when they’re talking divorce.”

Ben lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. “I don’t want a divorce, and I don’t want her struggling either. She needs the money, and the last thing I want is for her to be hurting any more than she already is. I fucked up royally.”

“Yeah, that’s what I heard. It’s over? You’re giving up?”

“I don’t have a choice, Trap. It’s killing me, but it’s what she wants.”

“Are you coming home and heading to the ranch?”

“No. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing except maybe getting drunk.”

Trapper laughed. “Oh, well that will definitely help matters.”

“You have a better idea?”

“You need to give Gina what she wants.”

“I just did. All she wants is a divorce and never to see me again.”

“Man, that’s harsh. Okay, drink and wallow for a few days. When you get sick of that and yourself, sober up and give me a call. We’ll put our heads together and see if there’s any way to get you and your wife back together.”

“I wish there was a way, but it’s over. She looked me in the eye and told me. She wasn’t lying about that, Trap. Now all I have to do is figure out how to live without her.”

“You will, eventually. It might take five years, but you will.”

Ben couldn’t help but wonder how Trapper seemed to know so much about surviving a breakup. “Thanks for the pep talk. It’s a good thing you’re a judge and not a psychologist.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. Facts are a whole lot easier to deal with than feelings. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“You can talk to Kate and see if she’ll get Gramps to go back home.”

“I’ll do anything but that. I’m one of the few men not on Mom’s shit list. I love you like a brother, but when it comes to Mom and Grandpa Joe, you’re on your own.”

“Well, damn, what good are you then?”

“Mom and Karma have been keeping in touch with Gina. If they let anything slip, I’ll give you a heads up, but that’s about the best I can do.”

“I guess that’s something. I have to go. All this talking is keeping me from drinking.”

Ben flipped his phone shut and poured another glass of scotch.

Gina rolled over in bed and pulled her eye mask up to check the time when Jasmine whimpered at the door. It read 12:20 but for the life of her, she didn’t know if it was day or night. She pressed the button beside her bed to raise the window shades. It was noon. She’d been asleep for a long time. Picking up the phone, she tried to remember what day it was. She hoped it was Monday, Tina’s day off. She used the intercom and buzzed the kitchen. “Tina, are you there?”

“Yeah, are you going to get your ass out of bed today?”

“Could you take Jasmine out for me?”

“No, but you can. Get the hell out of bed. You’ve been in there almost a week. Don’t you need to get back to work?”

“I still have a week’s vacation and no, I don’t want to get out of bed. Just come and take Jasmine out for me and feed her, please?”

“Do it yourself. She’s your dog. I’m your sister, not your maid.”

The intercom beeped off and Gina groaned, pulling herself out of bed. She looked around for something to wear; everything was still in her suitcase. Great. She rummaged through it as Jasmine danced around her feet. She found a pair of jeans, tugged on them to get them out of the bag, and something hard fell on her foot. It was the copy of
Pride and Prejudice
from the cabin—Ben’s mother’s book. She wasn’t sure how it got there. She sure as heck didn’t pack it or steal it.

Jasmine whined again so Gina tossed the book on her bed and got dressed. Unfortunately for both her and Jasmine, the puppy couldn’t hold it any longer and had an accident in front of the door. She cowered there, shaking.

“It’s okay, sweetie. It’s not your fault. I’m just a crappy mom.” Gina retrieved a towel from the bathroom and tossed it on the carpet, stepping on it to sop up some of the mess. “I’ll clean it up later. Come on, Jazzie, let’s go out and then we’ll feed you.”

Gina grabbed her sunglasses and a clean-up bag from the table and headed across the street to the park with Jasmine. It was a gorgeous spring day. The sun shone, the birds chirped, but she couldn’t care less. All she wanted to do was go back to her room, pull the shades, and sleep.

After a very short walk, she and Jasmine returned to the house and went straight to the kitchen where Tina was banging around. The noise did nothing to help the headache Gina had from crying and sleeping and crying some more. She rubbed her forehead. She hadn’t cried that much since Rafael had been taken away. She’d learned her lesson then. She’d cried until her father had told her to stop or he’d give her something to cry about. After one beating with his belt, he left her and Tina alone with their mother in the apartment until he’d spent all the money on drugs and booze. She hadn’t cried again until she’d met Ben.

While Tina ignored her, Gina retrieved the dog food. She was almost out. The thought of going shopping was enough to make her consider calling that expensive grocery store Ben had used, because from the look on Tina’s face, Gina didn’t think her sister would be willing to make a dog food run, and the store delivered. Until now, she would have never considered spending the extra money, but then, she’d never felt this way before either. Maybe she was sick.

Tina slammed a pan on the stove, drawing Gina’s attention away from her own troubles. Tina looked pissed.

“Are you and Sam fighting?”

“No.”

“Then what is your problem? I’d prefer it if you didn’t break the stove. As soon as the divorce is final, I want to be able to sell this place.”

“My problem? If you want to know what my problem is, go look in the mirror.”

Gina stopped and stared. Tina had never spoken to her like that. Ignoring the comment because it would take too much energy to argue, Gina filled Jasmine’s food bowl and set it down beside the water bowl, she thought about giving Jasmine fresh water, but it seemed like an awful lot of trouble.

Tina took two slices out of the breadbox and slathered one with butter before pointing the knife at Gina. “You haven’t gotten out of bed for more than ten minutes in the last week. You’re like a zombie. You come down and eat our leftovers in the middle of the night, you sleep all day, and you’re not taking care of your dog. What is wrong with you?” She tossed the buttered bread in the frying pan and went to the refrigerator and took out the Swiss cheese, closed the door with her hip, and placed a few slices on the bread.

“I just want to be left alone.”

Tina buttered the other slice. “Well, tough shit. I’ve been biting my tongue all week and I’m done. I’m so angry with you, Gina, I can’t stand it.” She slapped the bread down on top of the sandwich and stared.

Gina leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “What the heck did I do to you?”

Tina pulled a spatula out of the drawer and slammed it shut before pointing the spatula at her. “You have some nerve asking me that. You’ve kept me in the dark for the last twenty-two years and I’ve spent the last week processing it. You didn’t tell me about Rafael until you were forced to, and if it hadn’t been for Ben and Sam, I still wouldn’t know I have a brother walking this earth. You kept my brother from me.”

Gina stepped toward her sister. “I was trying to—”

Tina held the spatula up, cutting her off and stopping her dead in her tracks. “Protect me. I know, I heard you the first thousand times. You had no right!” She slammed the spatula on the counter.

Gina stepped away, shocked by Tina’s fury.

“Can you imagine how I felt? Oh, no. You’re so busy running everyone’s lives and making yourself out to be a martyr, you never think of anyone else. All this time, Sam and I could have helped look for Rafael. But no, you had to do it yourself. Well, sister, I don’t remember giving you permission to run my life.” She picked up the spatula and flipped the sandwich. “Maybe I let you take care of me too long. I admit to being guilty of that, but it ends now. Things are going to change, and if you don’t get with the program, Sam and I will move out. Maybe that’s what you need to get your head on straight.” She took a plate from the cabinet and slapped it down on the granite countertop.

It was a good thing it was Corelle because if it were the regular china, it would be in a thousand pieces.

Tina didn’t seem to notice. “I have a life. I’m happy. You’re the one who needs someone to take care of you. Look at yourself. You’re alone. Sure, you can date any guy you want, but no matter how great he is, you use him until he gets too close and then kick him to the curb.”

“I do not.”

“Oh yes you do.” Tina flipped the sandwich onto the plate and stabbed it with the spatula, cutting it in half. “You threw Ben out, and you’ve been moping around ever since. You’re in love with him, but you’re too proud or too stupid to do anything about it.”

“What?”

“He made one mistake and you cut him off. He’s a man. If I left Sam over every stupid thing he did or said, we wouldn’t have made it a week. If you’re looking for perfection, Gina, you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone.”

“I’m not looking for perfection.”

“Oh yeah? I have news for you, you aren’t perfect and no one else is either. I think you’re lucky to have someone as kind and caring as Ben willing to put up with your shit because I’m sick to death of it. I’m sick of you and I’m sick of this weeklong pity party. You’re miserable and I’m not going to sit around and watch you ruin your life.”

“I’m not ruining my life. I’m taking a damn vacation.”

“Right. You listen to me, you might be a lot older than me—”

Gina raised her hand. “Hold on, I’m only four years older than you. I’m not ancient.”

“If anyone makes you sound ancient it’s you. What I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted was that you might be older, but I’m the one who has had a successful four-year relationship, almost two of which were spent happily married. You’ve never had a relationship last longer than…” She stopped and tapped her chin with her pointer finger. “How long have you and Ben been married? Two months? Yeah, you’ve never had a relationship last longer than two months. Who do you think knows more about relationships—you or me?”

“It doesn’t matter. Ben and I don’t have a relationship. We have an agreement. He got what he wanted—”

“Gina, you may have begun this mess with an agreement, but it turned into what looked to me like a real marriage until you went off and wigged out on him.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh yeah, I’m completely clueless. You slept with him, you went to his ranch for a week and played house, and when he got too close for comfort, you found any excuse you could to terminate it. You’re so afraid of needing and loving someone that you broke your own heart and put the blame on him. If it were just you that you were hurting, I’d say you deserved it. But you hurt Ben too. You used him. How could you do that to him after all he’s given you?”

“I’m going to return every red cent.”

Tina shook her head. “It’s not the money, Gina. Ben gave you his love, and you threw it back in his face. If you can do that to him, you’re not the person I thought you were.” Tina took her sandwich, grabbed a soda from the refrigerator, and left Gina standing in the kitchen alone. Well, alone except for Jasmine who had curled up next to her food bowl and was fast asleep.

Tina had it all wrong, or did she? Gina didn’t know, and the way she felt, she couldn’t summon the energy to examine it. She removed a bottle of spray cleaner for the carpet from beneath the sink, grabbed a roll of paper towels, and picked Jasmine up off the floor. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s go upstairs where we can be alone, just you and me. We’ll clean up and go back to bed until the next time you have to go out.”

Gina knelt on the carpet as Jasmine helped her clean and wash the spot, chasing the paper towel to and fro. Gina sat and tried to get the towel out of Jasmine’s mouth and remembered she’d forgotten to pack the toy she and Ben had made Jasmine. They’d taken a ball of rubber bands, stuffed it in one of Ben’s old socks, and tied a knot in the end.

She shook her head and caught herself smiling. They’d spent the day picnicking in the meadow, tossing Jasmine’s toy for her to fetch, playing tug-of-war—Jazzie and Gina against Ben; the three of them wrestling on a picnic blanket, and napping after lunch. Jasmine had been so worn out, Ben had carried her the whole way home. Not that he seemed to mind. He never minded anything, even when Gina picked fights, teased him, or when Jasmine cried to go out in the middle of the night. She couldn’t remember one time when Ben hadn’t been smiling. He made everything fun, even doing nothing wasn’t boring if Ben was there. God, she missed him.

Gina just needed to get Ben Walsh out of her head. She took a quick shower and dressed in loose shorts and a T-shirt before crawling into the unmade bed. She picked up the copy of
Pride and Prejudice
that had somehow ended up in her luggage. She’d have to return it to Ben. It was his mother’s book, and it didn’t look as if Joe saved many of her things for Ben. Maybe she’d stick it in the mail because, as far as she was concerned, she never wanted to see Ben again. It would hurt too much. She wondered how anything could hurt more than it did right now.

Opening the book, she saw Ben’s mother’s inscription and was shocked to see
Gina Reyez-Walsh
written below Elizabeth Walsh’s name. A note fell out and landed on her leg. She unfolded the paper and bit her lip.

Gina~

You’ve made the ranch a home again and filled my life with laughter. I’m so glad the ranch was where we started our family—you, Jasmine, and me.

It’s only right that this is passed down to you, and maybe someday, our daughter.

You have all my love~

Ben

She put the note back in the book, held it close to her chest, and cried into her pillow. How could he know just what to say to inflict the most pain?

***

Ben rolled out of bed when he heard his grandfather stomping around and growling. Damn it. He pulled on a pair of jeans and opened his door. “What’s wrong now?” He’d had just about enough of his grandfather. He thought that after a week, Gramps would be on his way home, but he showed no signs of leaving.

“It’s about time you got up. It’s after noon. You’re as bad as Kate; you won’t cook a damn thing. I would have stayed home if I knew all I’d have to eat were beans.”

“There are thousands of restaurants. Get takeout if you’re not happy with the food.”

“What food? All you have left in your refrigerator is ketchup. When was the last time you went grocery shopping?”

“Before I left for Idaho. Call the market if you want, they deliver. Just leave me alone.”

Gramps turned and walked toward him. Ben took a step back. He hadn’t seen Gramps that mad since he was a kid.

“You have done nothing for the last week. If you’re so broken up about losing your wife, why don’t you get off your ass and do something about it? You’re not going to get her back pacing your room and drinking yourself into oblivion.”

Ben had had enough. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

“If it weren’t for me, you never would have married Gina in the first place or spent enough time with her to fall in love. You should be thanking me instead of blaming me for your failure. I can’t believe you’re giving up on Gina and your marriage. I thought I raised you to be a better man.”

Ben shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

Gramps looked even madder now. “Boy, I’ve been walking this earth for eighty years. I understand more than you’ll ever know. I understand you’ll get nowhere in this world burying yourself in a bottle. I understand if you love Gina, really love her, you’d never give up on her or your relationship. I understand the only thing that counts in the end is the love you’ve shared through your life. I don’t want to die knowing you and Gina are both alone. I love that little lady. You need to go and get your wife. Do whatever it takes to make her see she can’t live without you.”

Ben sat down on his bed. “That’s the thing, Gramps, Gina has no problem living without me.”

Gramps sat beside Ben on his unmade bed. “Right, I’d bet everything I own that Gina is having as hard a time living without you as you are living without her. That girl is in love with you, Ben. You’re just too stupid to see beyond your own nose right now.”