Yours Unfaithfully (16 page)

At the flat, Sophie’s preparations for Saturday’s clubbing night with her mates were in full swing. Ben watched with interest as she pranced about in a seemingly endless ritual of painting her face and swapping clothes. Each change of outfit resulted in Sophie wearing less than before, until she finally appeared satisfied with her choice. Could you call a small piece of white cotton which barely covered her breasts and a nine inch lime green mini skirt an outfit? Ben calculated that they covered no more of her than her shoes and handbag. He was shocked that Sophie could contemplate going out so uncovered, but she talked endlessly about her friends, who she was sure would be wearing even less than her. This aroused him sufficiently to tag along as she suggested. Given that his only other option was to sit in the flat all night with only the television for company, it wasn’t a difficult choice.

His worry was that once inside the club she would disappear with her friends, leaving him to drink alchopops for hours on his own. Sophie assured him that her friends would want to meet him and that he’d have a fabulous time, but she expressed horror at his Levi jeans and Umbro top. “We need to make you a bit more dressy”, she said, and with her kitchen scissors proceeded to cut holes in his clothes. She ripped the cuts so that his knees and chest were exposed. Ben watched in shocked silence as she destroyed his clothes. He was experiencing a subdued and scary detachment from reality. She justified her actions by explaining that they probably wouldn’t let him in looking like he did before she’d smartened him up, making him look like a regular clubber.

Feeling more like a scarecrow than a clubber, Ben followed her to the bus stop praying that he wouldn’t see anyone who knew him. As the bus neared town, two of Sophie’s girl friends got on and she introduced him. They looked him up and down briefly before proceeding to ignore him. His forebodings of a dreadful night to come were already materialising.

Standing in the queue for Ramps night club was a humiliating experience made worse by yet more of Sophie’s friends effervescing around her, saying little or nothing to him as they chattered incessantly about people they knew and events that had occurred since last Saturday. Ben barely understood their jargon, but he translated occasional glances in his direction as astonishment at his appearance. They were probably wondering why he was here, but then so was he. He sidled along beside them, anxious to get into the darkness of the night club, where hopefully he would be invisible. He could then prop himself up at the bar and watch them dance.

The next two hours were pretty much as he’d expected, alternating between the bar and a balcony table where he sat alone watching his new friends gyrating wildly to deafeningly loud music. At midnight he squinted at his watch in the gloom of his corner. Minutes later one of Sophie’s friends slumped down beside him without warning.

“I’m Beckie,” she announced, before going on to explain that after eight hours on her feet at the sandwich shop she couldn’t dance any more. To Ben’s immense surprise their conversation lasted for over an hour. He mentioned in passing that he was crashing out at Sophie’s place, taking great care to avoid any mention of the mess that was his marriage. Sophie appeared several times in an effort to get Beckie back on the dance floor, but to no avail. Having exhausted their small talk, Beckie asked Ben a question for which he was completely unprepared; “Ben, do you want to come back to my place?”

Not wanting his new friendship to end as suddenly as it had begun he readily agreed and in seconds they were outside waiting for a taxi. Throughout the journey she clung to him as if they knew each other. She found the key and led him up the communal staircase to her flat. Once inside she kicked off her shoes and it was soon evident that her invitation extended to her bed as well as to her flat.

As the morning light shone in through the bedroom window, Ben lay there reflecting on how he’d come to be here. Steadily climbing out of bed, he stood up to his full height and stared at the attractive body lying naked except for the sheet pulled up to her waist. Either she hadn’t noticed, or maybe she didn’t mind, that he was fifteen years older than her and when he woke her with a coffee she was every bit as friendly as the night before. Had she been so drunk that she couldn’t see him for what he was? Standing there in his ridiculous ripped jeans and with his t-shirt in shreds, he resembled a shipwrecked mariner. He certainly felt all at sea; he was to all intents and purposes shipwrecked... from a life which just weeks before had been orderly and predictable. He’d just spent two nights in two different flats with two different girls. This was a lifestyle he’d dreamt about in his late teens, a dream denied him then. Now, married and with three children, the dream was being fulfilled, but was it honestly a dream or was it a nightmare?

What should he do? Should he leave now or should he stay long enough to say sorry to Beckie for taking advantage of her when he knew she’d had too much to drink. Before he could reach a decision she sat up smiling and announced that they would be heading into town this evening for a concert on the Quayside, where one of her favourite bands was on stage. Not wanting to face Sophie and having no other options, he decided to go along with her plans. After a lazy day spent lounging around in the flat he once again prepared for a night out in his ‘clubbing gear’.

Some of her friends from last night were there but thankfully Sophie didn’t show. Beckie introduced him as if they were a couple and so gradually he began to believe that they were. After feasting on chicken and chips from a cardboard box they headed back to her flat for a second night. In the taxi Beckie decided Ben couldn’t go any longer without a change of clothes. A quick instruction to the driver and they were off in the direction of Sophie’s flat. “We’ll get your stuff,” she explained, “and then we’ll go back to mine and have a DVD and a few cans.”

He liked the way she organised him, she obviously didn’t see any need for consultation. He’d never been a decision maker anyway, so that suited him perfectly. Sophie was surprised to see them together on her doorstep, but she offered no objection when Beckie explained the purpose of their visit. She watched with amusement as they gathered Ben’s few possessions into his travel bag and left holding hands, convinced that neither of them had thought beyond the next twelve hours, but perhaps that was for the best. Back in Beckie’s flat, Ben chose a DVD in preparation for a relaxing night but Beckie had changed her mind.

“Ben, what happened to your marriage?”

“How do you mean?”

“Look Ben, whatever you may think, I’m not stupid, OK? Even without the white mark on your third finger any woman would know you’re married. I don’t mind that but I think you should tell me what happened, especially as how I’ve taken on her role in bed.”

“Say what you mean Beckie, why don’t you...”

“Right Ben, if you want to share my bed again tonight you’d better start talking, OK? Did she throw you out because you hit her or did you screw her best mate?”

“I didn’t do anything. Actually that was precisely what she accused me of, not doing anything. She’s got this stupid idea in her head that I’m lazy, can you believe that? I mean, I’m creative, and that’s my trouble, creative people often get mistaken for lazy.”

“So what have you created?”

“What d’yu mean ... d’yu want a list or something?”

“No, just tell me one thing that you created.”

Seeing no logical way out of this Ben decided to humour her. “Well I created a right balls up at the laundry when I delivered the towels to the wrong hotel” he quipped.

“Beckie laughed at his ineptitude but seemed satisfied. Secretly, she decided his wife was probably right, he probably was lazy, but he was good fun to be with and that was all she wanted.”

Once in bed both of them forgot everything else until the alarm went off at seven the next morning. Over a coffee Beckie asked him if he was coming back after work.

“I guess so,” he said, “I’d rather be here than with Nina – that’s her name by the way.”

“But what about your kids? Don’t you miss them?”

“Not really, Nina took them everywhere, did everything with them, it’ll be weeks before they even notice I’m not there.”

“So you were a lazy husband
and
a shit father? What have I landed here Ben? Not much of a bargain, that’s for certain.”

“Not true, Beckie. For you I could work my ass off and I could even pay my share of the rent.”

“Is that some kind of a proposal Ben?”

“Yea, I propose we shack up until we get fed up with each other.”

“OK, Ben, but no messing about. If I find you’re screwing your wife or anyone else you’re out of here so fast your feet won’t touch the stairs on the way down.”

“No sweat, Beckie, I’m a one woman man. You’ll see.”

The strange thing was, he meant it. He was enjoying Beckie, both in bed and out of it. She was full of life, full of fun, she didn’t expect miracles from him and she took care to organise everything. She was very young, not long out of her teens, great for his ego, not that Ben ever lacked self-esteem.

After dropping Beckie at the sandwich shop on route to work, he had time to think about the job Tim had arranged for him as storeman. Stuff that, he decided, I’m happy working for Mick and now I don’t have to please Nina I can do what I want. Mick had given him his own patch so he didn’t get to call at Tim’s place any more, which was a shame. He wasn’t likely to be in the Globe for a while with Beckie planning his evenings. He’d miss seeing Tim, but Beckie more than compensated. In fact he couldn’t remember a time when he’d been happier.

He thought back to when Nina had given birth to their first child ...wasn’t that the happiest moment of his life? Supposedly it should have been, but he could barely remember it now. Was he even there? Funny how time softens the memory, even of important things. Guilt consumed him momentarily as he thought about other things he couldn’t recall, like their wedding day, what her dress was like, what colour the bridesmaids dresses were. Surely most men wouldn’t remember these things, so was he any different?

A nagging doubt crept in as he thought of Tim, he’d remember every detail of his wedding day. He’d have been with Mel through every minute of the births of their three children. The voice inside Ben’s head refused to leave him alone, forcing him to argue fiercely in an attempt to defend himself. Why should I beat myself up over things that took place years ago? After all it was Nina who chucked me out, it isn’t my fault I had to sleep at Sophie’s place, and if I hadn’t been there I wouldn’t have met Beckie. No, this is all Nina’s fault, he reasoned, she’s got no one to blame but herself. Feeling better now he’d shifted the cloud of guilt to his errant wife he turned on the radio and sang along with it. His life was on the up, he’d landed on his feet with Beckie. As long as he didn’t muck her about, they had a steady relationship, which suited him fine. There was a perverse pleasure in the knowledge that Nina had done him a favour when she’d sentenced him to the miserable fate of a lonely existence without her. It was mid morning when Tim called him.

“Ben, where the hell have you been? You haven’t been in the Globe for days and your mobile’s been on answerphone. Nina’s going mad. You’ve got some serious explaining to do matey, I’ve tried to keep her calm but you need to get round there and grovel a bit... but ... the good news is... she’ll have you back provided you say you’re sorry and promise not to mess her about again. Let me know what time tonight you’ll be there, I’ll go round first to warn her so she’s expecting you... all right?”

“Can’t make it tonight, Tim, sorry, in fact I can’t make it any night. Nina threw
me
out Tim, if you recall... well, I’m doing all right, in fact I’m very happy and I think Beckie is more to my style than Nina.”

“Ben, what the hell are you going on about? Who’s Beckie?”

“She’s a friend of mine Tim, in fact we live together and we’ve got big plans for the future, well... Beckie has and I’m happy to go along with whatever she wants.”

“Ben, have you had an accident? Are you suffering memory loss or something? There’s a woman called Nina who lives next door to me and she’s got three kids ... your kids. Stop being a prat and get round there tonight and sort this out before she comes looking for you, because if she does, you really will have an accident. Where did this Beckie spring from anyway, I’ve never heard you mention her before?”

“Met her when I was out clubbing the other night. We’re living at her place in town until we can find something better. Tim, can you tell your boss thanks, but no thanks? I won’t be needing that storeman’s job now. Beckie’s fine with me working for Mick and Sophie’s her mate so she’s OK with her as well. How are things with you Tim? Hello... Tim, can you hear me? Hello... sod him, he’s hung up on me.”

When Tim got home from work he was still angry with Ben.

“Do you know what he’s done, Mel? He’s only gone and shacked up with some friend of Sophie’s, a girl called Beckie... reckons he’s not coming back... what am I going to tell Nina? She thinks I’m sorting him out with a job and that he’s coming home with his tail between his legs.”

Mel was every bit as scornful as he’d expected, “Sound’s to me like he’s got his tail between
her
legs, whoever Beckie is. You’d better get round there after you’ve eaten and explain to Nina that you’ve cocked it up”.

“What do you mean,
I’ve
cocked it up? It’s Ben who’s screwed it up, not me. I’ve had to go in to my boss and explain that Ben isn’t taking that storeman’s job... that made me look pretty stupid. I don’t need this any more than Nina does. She’ll go berserk when I tell her what he said. Do you think I should leave it for a few days? Maybe it’ll all blow over with this Beckie and he’ll come running back.”

“And what if it doesn’t, how are you going to explain that you forgot to tell her that you knew he was living with this Beckie and that he told you he wasn’t coming back? You don’t have a choice Tim, but you’re right about one thing, she’ll go mad when you tell her.”