Zamani (7 page)

“Damn, woman.
 
You don’t need a wingman.”
 
Caleb opened a fresh beer and left them
alone.
 

Steph grinned at Sasha
before setting down her glass and reaching for the fresh drink Sasha brought
her.
 
“Thanks.
 
I have a feeling I’ll be getting pretty
drunk tonight.
 
I’m recovering from
a recent break up, so I’m looking for a little diversion.”
 
As Sasha handed her the drink, their
hands barely touched. The attraction she felt for Steph was so powerful it made
Sasha take a step back.

It took her a minute to
speak, and when she did, Sasha’s voice seemed lower and huskier than
normal.
 
“I’d love to distract you
for awhile.” Steph took a sip from her drink and took Sasha’s free hand in her
own.
 
“That sounds like a wonderful
plan to me.
 
And you make a hell of
a gin and tonic.”

They stayed at the party for
a couple of hours, mingling with others while Caleb and Steph introduced Sasha
to different donors.
 
At some point
in the evening, Sasha realized that Lucy and Caleb were actually a bit of an
item, which made her feel more secure in her ability to ignore the feelings of
desire from him.
 
She could tell by
the way he and Lucy looked at each other that there was a strong bond there,
and she made a note to ask Lucy how they navigated the whole entanglement with
vamps as a couple.
 

As the party was hitting
it’s height and the donors were well in their cups, Steph pulled Sasha to her,
kissing her.
 
Lucy was right; Sasha
could not only feel the desire that Steph felt for her--it was magnified. As
Steph pulled back a bit, Sasha moved her lips to the hollow of Steph’s neck,
feeling the steady pulse against her mouth.
 
“Please, let’s go inside” was all she
managed to whisper.
 
Steph took her
by the hand and led her into the carriage house.

As soon as the door closed
behind them, Sasha grabbed the bottom of Steph’s t-shirt and pulled it over her
head.
 
Steph’s hands scrambled for
the buckle of Sasha’s belt, unclasping it first, then unbuttoning and unzipping
her jeans and sliding her hands around Sasha’s hips, loosening her shirt.
 
As her hands slipped under the cotton,
Sasha felt her skin on fire wherever Steph touched her.
 
She helped her lift the shirt off, and
they both kicked their shoes off before Sasha led Steph up the stairs to her
bedroom.
 
Sasha pushed Steph back on
the bed and first pulled off Steph’s jeans and her own before sliding on top of
her, her right thigh between Steph’s.
 
She was dizzy with desire as she felt Steph wiggle beneath her.
 
Steph chuckled and pushed Sasha over on
her back, straddling her.

“Let me drive, ok? As much
as I want you, I’m afraid that you’ll be overwhelmed.”
 
Sasha didn’t object, in part because she
was already so far in the deep that she couldn’t.
 
She surrendered herself to Steph
completely.
 

In the wee hours of Saturday
morning, Sasha watched Steph sleep, realizing that the initial resemblance to
Liz had been partially imagined.
 
Their
coloring and body shapes were similar, but the similarities ended there.
 
Steph’s confidence and assertiveness were
traits Liz never had. Sasha wondered how old Steph was; if Lucy looked so
young, there was no way to know how old any of the donors were.

Steph smiled in her sleep
and Sasha leaned over her, barely touching her lips to Steph’s forehead for a
second, then dipping her head lower, tasting her mouth. Steph responded,
kissing her back and sliding her hands up Sasha’s back, dragging her nails
across Sasha’s skin.
 
As Sasha
kissed her neck, Steph stopped her just long enough to reach to the night
stand.
 
She’d placed her necklace
there, and she grabbed the pendant now and Sasha saw that it was really a small
blade.
 
Steph looked Sasha in the
eye as she drew the blade across her shoulder, opening a small line where the
blood beaded up.
 
She drew the blade
across her own lips and pulled Sasha’s face to her own, kissing her hard before
turning her face to her ear.
 
“Please.”
 
Sasha teased her,
her lips hovering over the wound as she slid her hand between Steph’s legs. Sliding
her fingers inside, she lost herself all over again.

Chapter
Ten

Sasha and Steph spent most
of their Saturday in bed.
 
“We
really should get dressed and rejoin the world.” Steph slid her jeans on and
pulled her shirt over her head.
 
“I
know you’re probably not interested in eating regular food, but I’m starving.”

Sasha watched her run her
fingers through her bed-tousled hair. She wanted to pull her back into bed, but
she realized that would be incredibly selfish. “I think that Lucy stocked the
kitchen. We could have breakfast.” She reluctantly slid out of the warm bed and
got dressed.

Steph went to the kitchen
and after scrambling some eggs and making toast, she and Sasha ate and lingered
over their plates.

“So, this break up you
mentioned last night. . . was it with a vampire or a donor?”

“Neither, actually.
 
She was just an ordinary girl.
 
That was part of what I loved about her.
But, as you can imagine, the life of a donor isn’t exactly easy to hide. In
order to stay in such great shape, I have to allow vampires to feed on me,
Emily was jealous of the close friendships I had with other donors and
vampires, but I couldn’t tell her the truth.” She popped her last bite of toast
in her mouth and chewed in silence for a moment. “I wasn’t going to be the one
who invited her into the family. I don’t want that kind of heartache again.”

Sasha watched her, wondering
if she would explain without more prodding.
 
She did. “A few years ago, I was
involved with someone who wasn’t a donor or vampire, and she eventually had the
same jealousy. So, I told her the truth. She chose to become a donor, too, and
later dumped me and ran off with someone else. I know break ups happen, but I
hoped she wanted immortality so she could be with me forever. So, now I don’t
tell if I’m dating a regular girl.”

Sasha put her cup down. “I
don’t want to lead you on, Steph. I really like you, but I can’t make you any
promises.”

Steph laughed. “I’m not
looking for any. Vampire and donor relationships are a completely different
dynamic. Let’s just see where this goes, ok?”

Before Steph left she kissed
Sasha sweetly and put her number in the cell phone that had been in the basket
of gifts that the donors put together for her.
 
Sasha was overwhelmed and humbled by how
they welcomed her into the family.
 
As she thumbed through her new contacts list to find Steph’s number, she
realized that Lucy, Caleb, and a few others had entered their numbers, too. She
sighed in relief as she realized she wasn’t alone after all.
 

The weekend with Steph was a
good distraction for her; even though she knew she should feel guilty, the need
for closeness with someone overpowered her sense of duty to Liz. Maybe once
she’d dealt with it herself she could find some way to contact Liz and let her
know she was still here, just as Sasha.
 
She had too much to learn before she could hope to reveal herself,
though, and she needed to establish relationships now in order to get to that
point.
 

Lucy arranged for the
mentor, someone named Zofia, to come see Sasha early Sunday evening. She had
written the name down for Sasha to ensure she got that it was Zofia with a Z,
not Sofia. Apparently, incorrect spelling of her name was a sore spot.

As the afternoon turned to
evening, Sasha fiddled with her new laptop setting up her new email and other
accounts under her new identity. The party had been a huge help in terms of
building her confidence, and it felt good--it was normal. She fought the
impulse to call Steph and try to convince her to come over. As tempting as that
was, she was ready and anxious to start training.

She sensed her before Zofia
knocked. She felt the fine hairs on the back of her neck and on her arms stand
up, as if she was chilled.
 
She also
felt butterflies in her stomach as if something she’d anticipated for a long
time was finally happening. She moved toward the door and had her hand on it
just as Zofia knocked. Startled, she pulled the door open quickly. “Zofia?”

The woman on her doorstep
smiled.
 
“Sasha! I’ve heard so much
about you.”
 
She stood perfectly
still, waiting for Sasha to welcome her.
 
Sasha stepped back, opening the door wide.
 
“Please, come in.
 
I’m excited about working with you.
 
I swear I knew you were here before you
knocked.”

Zofia was tiny--smaller than
either Lucy or Sasha.
 
She was probably
only just five feet tall and looked like she weighed maybe 100 pounds.
 
Her hair was cut short, which added to
her youthfulness.
 
Sasha wondered
how this woman who looked like a tiny teenager would be able to help her.
 
As she shut the door, she heard Zofia
say softly, “I only look like a teenager.
 
I have more to teach you than you can imagine.”

Sasha turned and stared at
Zofia silently, unsure if it was a lucky guess or if she’d actually read her
thoughts. They hadn’t even touched; she’d gotten used to the idea that her
touch allowed her to read thoughts of donors, but having her own thoughts read
made her a bit uncomfortable and she felt vulnerable.

“Let’s sit.
 
I brought a bottle of wine to
share.
 
I know where the corkscrew
and glasses are.
 
This is an
especially good bottle of Cabernet.
 
I think you’ll like it.”
 
She
drifted out of the room and then back in, carrying two glasses and a
corkscrew.
 

Sasha reached for a
cigarette, but Zofia shook her head.
 
“That’s one of the first things you need to stop doing.”

“It’s not like it’s going to
kill me.”
 
Sasha defiantly shook a
cigarette from the pack and brought it to her lips.
 
She reached for her lighter on the
coffee table only to watch it leap into Zofia’s hands.

“Don’t be a child. Smoking
kills your ability to taste the wine. It dulls all of your senses. While you’re
learning, you need to be able to taste and smell.
 
I’ve never been able to talk Lucy into
quitting altogether.
 
You can have a
cigarette after you taste the wine, if you still want one, but not before.”

Sasha wondered if all
vampires could use telekinesis.

Zofia sat the two glasses on
the coffee table and poured for both of them.
 
The wine was dark, almost black and
opaque.
 
Sasha watched as Zofia
swirled it in her glass and she imitated her.
 
She’d always enjoyed wine, but she was
now mesmerized by Zofia’s movements and felt the desire to look like she knew
what she was doing.
 
As she sniffed
the wine, she realized that she’d never really smelled wine carefully.

“Let me guess, this is your
first glass of wine since your awakening.
 
Glad it is a good one.
 
Imagine once you hone your sense of smell
and taste to hunt effectively how great this will taste.”

Sasha brought the glass to
her lips and tilted it enough for the wine to touch her lips.
 
It was cooler than her mouth, but not
cold. She wasn’t sure if it was the wine or her tongue that was different; she
tasted the different levels of flavor in a way she never had before.

Zofia smiled as Sasha closed
her eyes and paid attention to the wine.
 
“I hear you had quite the birthday party the other night. So, things
won’t be so bad after all, young one.
 
You’ll find that the benefits are many.”
 
Zofia leaned back and crossed her
legs.
 
“To start, yes, I can read
your mind.
 
One of the first things
you must learn is to close yourself off.
 
If you don’t, you’ll be a sitting duck.
 
Besides, you don’t want the one who
turned you to know about you if she doesn’t already.”

Sasha laughed.
 
“Oh, I’m not worried about her.
 
She’s been arrested and isn’t likely to
be listened to.
 
Everyone thinks
she’s a psychopathic murderer.
 
She’s all over the news.”

Zofia shook her head. “It’s
not that easy.
 
I’ve seen footage of
Wren; I don’t think she is aware she turned you.
 
She gives off the vibe of someone who is
completely untrained. Once you’ve worked with me for awhile, you’ll see it,
too.
 
I don’t like the word ‘aura’
but it is as close a fit as I’ve found.
 
You’ll be better able to see that she is a complete mess once you’re
more attuned to reading people.
 
Besides,
if she was aware she turned you, she wouldn’t have been caught.”

Sasha frowned.
 
“Can you train me so I can go to her and
kill her?”
 

“No. I understand the desire
to do so, but killing Wren and escaping undetected will only alert Olivia that
you exist. We can deal with the Wren situation later if it is even necessary.
 
Right now, though, it is more important
that you know how to shield yourself. The longer we can keep your identity
secret, the better for all of us.”
 
Zofia freshened their glasses.
 
“If you want me to teach you, you must listen to me and trust that I
know what is best for you.” She paused.
 
“Will you trust me?”

Sasha nodded. Zofia began
with:
 
“The first thing you have to
realize is that you can’t go to Liz and reveal you’re still alive.
 
I know you think that’s a solution, but
it’s not.
 
Trust me; going to her
right now can only cause more chaos and pain for both of you.
 
She’s not in a psychological state where
she could accept any of this. Let her grieve.”

Sasha said nothing for a
moment. “Will there be a time when that can change? For instance, once she’s
grieved and I understand more about who and what I am, is there a chance?”

Zofia shook her head.
 
“For now, consider going to Liz off
limits. Going to her will create more complications than killing Wren would, I
suspect.” She poured more wine in their glasses and raised her eyes to Sasha’s.

Before Sasha could ask,
Zofia continued.
 
“When I was turned
it was similar to your situation; I was turned to be an offering to a man I
knew.
 
It wasn’t my choice, nor was
it his. I resisted going to him at first. My family rejected me when they
recognized what I had become. I then had to turn to others of my kind.”

“How did you find others?
Who turned you?”

“The man realized that I was
no more at fault than he was. He helped me. He trained me. As for who turned
me, it was Olivia.”

Sasha was stunned into
silence. Zofia continued, shifting her attention back to Sasha’s situation and
the reasons she couldn’t contact Liz.

“I know that part of what
you are feeling is guilt over your weekend with Steph, and I’m sensing guilt
over Wren as well.
 
That’s exactly
why revealing yourself now will lead to a bad outcome.
 
Not only is it difficult for one who is
not turned to understand how it is even possible, but once you start the story
with how Wren turned you and you indicate that this was partially your own
doing because you didn’t reject her, think about how Liz would react to
that.
 
If you feel guilty, think
about how crushed she would be.”

“I do feel guilty for both
instances—Wren more so than Steph.”

“Surely you realize you had
little choice.
 
Wren, as your ex
girlfriend, already had a hold on you. The additional additional attraction vampires
also have for their prey meant you didn’t stand a chance.
 
So, get over that one. I’m not saying
you were completely helpless, but you’ve got to let yourself off the hook.
 
Until someone experiences being turned,
they can’t speak to how irresistible the attraction is. You surely already realize
how your own attraction draws others in.
 
It’s how Lucy sensed you were kindred and why the connection with Steph
was more than either of you could resist this weekend.” She noticed Sasha blush
at the mention of Steph.
 

“Don’t feel guilty about
that, either. I’m sure you’ve also noticed your own feelings are turned down.
It’s a survival instinct. Feeding is an intimate act; in comparison to other
intimacy, feeding takes priority. The normal rules of monogamy don’t tend to
work among our kind.”

 
“You have three choices at this stage,
Sasha. You can end it all, you can be miserable, or you can move of from your
life as Alex and truly embrace who you are.”

Sasha emptied her
glass.
 
“I think I’ve already made
that choice.
 
I’m not ready to end
it. I need to make sense of what’s happened and find some way to make it right
with Liz. I’m apparently not into misery, so I guess that leaves only one
option.”