Zoe Thanatos (8 page)

“I just need some time.”

“How much time do you think will
pass before the Queen grows impatient and sends someone after you? What do you
think will happen when they find you then? The whole of Terra may be under the
impression that we live with the Stratons as their guests, but you and I both
know that is not the case. We’re their prisoners, Evander; don’t forget that.”

“Give me a day. Go back to Terra
and tell Kyra and Owyn that I’m on my way back. Make sure they don’t send
anyone after me. The last thing I need is to see Hector or Alcander showing up
at my door.”

“Why do you need a day? To say
goodbye to this girl?”      

Evan rolled his eyes at his sister.
“Yes. She’ll want to know why I’m leaving.” At least, he hoped she would. He
thought back to her many questions and knew there would be more to follow. He
didn’t know how to explain Eva to her, nor did he want to say goodbye.

“Does it matter what you say? It’s
not like you can tell her the truth.”

He kept his eyes down and his mouth
shut, but could feel her glaring back at him, no doubt incredulous.

“What have you told her?”

“Enough for her to need more than
just a simple goodbye.” He looked at her defiantly, silently daring her to
challenge him.

“You’re unbelievable.” Her eyes
rolled to the ceiling as she shook her head, her forearms tightening as she
grabbed handfuls of the bedding beneath them and squeezed.

“I had no choice but to tell her
some truth, Eva. Something happened and I ended up exposing myself. I couldn’t
think of another explanation that would sound plausible enough so I told her
the truth.”

“
Plausible
,” she mocked him.
“How much does she know?” She was still visibly upset, but seemed genuinely
curious to hear how much of their world he had revealed to her. He hadn’t just
exposed himself, but his family as well. He opened his mouth to answer but was
interrupted by the ringing of a telephone. He expelled a held breath and walked
to the desk to pick up the receiver.

“Hello?” he asked briskly.

“Good morning, Sir. This is Angela
at the front desk. You have a guest in the lobby, a Miss Zoe Thanatos.”

His blood ran still at the sound of
her name. Eva was listening from across the room, staring at him expectantly.
Shit
.

“Hold for just a second?” he asked
before putting the receiver down to his chest and cupping the mouthpiece in his
hand. “Give me a day, please?” he asked.

“That’s her, isn’t it?”

“She’s downstairs at reception.”

“Great. I’d like to meet her.” There
was a small smile of satisfaction on her face that had annoyed him since
childhood. There was no point arguing with her; she was just as stubborn as he
was.

Evan put the receiver back to his
ear. “Hi. Please send her to my room. Thanks.” He replaced the handset on the
base and took a deep breath. “Please, Evadine, be on your best behavior,” he
pleaded with her.

She scowled and dismissed his words
with a wave of her hand. “You better hope she keeps your confidence, Evander.”

“Who would she tell?” It wasn’t as
if anyone would believe her if she did.

“How do you think the knowledge of
where you come from will sit with her once you’re gone? Did you really think
you could drop a bomb like that on someone you’ll likely never see again?” His
face darkened at the thought. A healthy knock at the door broke through the
tension between the two siblings. Evan looked to her once more before opening
the door.

The Zoe Thanatos who stood on the
other side was not the same girl from the boat. She was vibrant and radiant.
Dark hair fell in sleek waves over her shoulders and long, bare legs tucked
into a pair of blue shoes added at least four inches to her height. She looked
fresh faced, relaxed, and even more beautiful than he remembered.

“Hi,” she greeted quietly, her
right cheek picking up in what he thought was half of a shy smile. “I know it’s
only been a few hours since you left but it occurred to me that we never made
any official plans to hang out again. So I thought I’d ask you to brunch. Are
you busy?”

After what seemed like a long pause
he finally remembered how to breath and covered his surprise with what he hoped
was a charming smile. “Please, come in.” He opened the door wider and she
walked through. A perfumed curl of gardenia floated in with her, lightly
filling his senses. He closed the door and followed her into the room.

She looked back at him quickly
before noticing the third person in the room. Eva stood up from the bed and
extended her hand to Zoe. The brief smile she had managed was gone and her eyes
narrowed speculatively.

“Evadine Nero,” his sister introduced
as her hand met Zoe’s own. “Evander’s sister,” she clarified. There was a brief
flicker of confusion on Zoe’s face at the sound of his full name, but she
quickly recovered and seemed to relax.

“Zoe Thanatos. Very nice to meet
you, Evadine.”

Eva’s eyes flickered up to Evan’s,
a question in them she could not verbalize in the moment. She quickly recovered
and looked back to Zoe, smiling her friendliest smile.

“Call me Eva. So I hear you and my
brother just met yesterday? He mentioned something vague about meeting on a
boat?” she asked brightly. Whatever reservations she had about the little bit
of information Zoe knew about them, she kept them hidden well. She was polite
as ever, charming even.

Zoe glanced at Evan. His eyes
softened and he smiled kindly, trying to assure that her secret was safe.

“Yes,” he started. “In Ventura,
just south from here. Zoe was then kind enough to treat me to the best meatloaf
sandwich I’ve ever had.”

Eva smiled broadly at each of them.
“How quaint!” she chirped.

“I just came by to invite Evan to
brunch. There’s this beautiful little beach nearby with a great restaurant.
It’s a must for anyone who visits Santa Barbara. Eva, I’d love for you to join
us as well,” Zoe offered.

“Actually,” Evan stepped in before
Eva could speak. “My sister is on her way home. Aren’t you, Eva?”

“That can wait,” she shrugged while
smiling brightly at Zoe. “I’d love to join you.” She looked pointedly at Evan
and smiled.

“Or you could just go home like you
planned?” he fired back.

“You said yourself that could wait
a day. Besides, then you can come back with me and I won’t have to go alone.”

Zoe’s eyes volleyed between Evan
and Eva, finally resting on him with the most curious expression on her face.
“You’re going home?” she asked, disappointment evident.

“Not yet,” he replied, his gaze
still locked on Eva.

“I don’t know how much he’s told
you about our home,” Eva began, “but my brother is quite important and his
presence is being requested.”

“And an extra day won’t make a
difference.” His eyes trained on Zoe, wishing he knew what she was thinking.
 

“You know what?” Eva interrupted.
“I just remembered I have an important errand to run. Why don’t I meet up with
you later?”

“Are you sure?” Zoe asked.

“Yes, but I would absolutely love
to meet you later. Maybe you could show me and my brother around?”

“Sure,” Zoe smiled politely. “Evan,
shall we? It was nice to meet you, Eva.”

“You as well, Zoe Thanatos.”

Evan shot a look back to his sister
as he followed Zoe to the door.

“Shall we?” she asked sweetly.

Zoe sat on the couch for more than
an hour after Evan left. It had been a long time since she had watched the
changing colors of the morning light, so she sat on the couch, nibbling on
macarons and taking in the quiet splendor of her surroundings. She could feel
the last remnants of charged air from standing so close to Evan. For a brief
moment the thought crossed her mind that he might try to...
No.
She
forced the thought from her mind. It seemed pointless to dwell

Looking around the house she
realized she hadn’t properly appreciated it for quite some time. She pulled the
curtains back from each window and opened them to let the fresh air in. Nothing
smelled better than citrus blossoms and the ocean. She went from room to room
until the entire house was flooded with light and perfumed with the Santa
Barbara air. She followed her nose outside and found that the backyard had
overgrown from neglect. The dark planks of wood that made up the deck
surrounding the lagoon-shaped pool were weathered and in need of care. The
thick plastic chaise lounges were years past their prime. Only the pool itself
looked maintained; it was crystal clear, clean and inviting. 

Zoe walked to the deep end,
stripped off the ugly jeans and ratty old shirt she was still dressed in from
the previous day, and stood in nothing but her bra and underwear, welcoming the
feeling of the sun as it touched parts of her skin that hadn’t seen natural
light in far too long.

She dove in with arms stretched out
high above her head, spearing into the water in a perfect line. By the time she
surfaced she was chilled to the bone and couldn’t care less. The water carried
her effortlessly for what seemed like hours, gently pushing her around the pool
until every last thought escaped from her mind.

It was as if a reset button had
been pushed and she was starting over. For the first time in a year she had woken
up without the emptiness that had haunted her. It would take a while for
something to fill the space left behind by the emptiness, but she sensed
something small had already taken root. Zoe wasn’t all that different from her
backyard: barren and in need of nutrients. The small something she felt was a
seedling and with practiced care it could grow into something beautiful,
perhaps even worthwhile.

She emerged from the water hours
later, prune-skinned and completely relaxed. She headed straight for the shower
and stood beneath a stream of hot water, washing away the chlorine, the salty
air of Ventura harbor, and the last remnants of Santa Cruz Island. It was her
fresh start in every sense of the word.

Once clean, she headed straight to
the dresser in her bedroom with a towel wrapped securely around her torso. Out
of habit she opened the last drawer to pull out a pair of jeans, but stopped.
She’d worn the same clothes from the same dresser every day for a year, always
selecting the same sad uniform. In one of her earlier attempts to have fun, she
had splurged on expensive and stylish clothes in bright colors, patterns and
prints that every salesperson confirmed would make her look pretty/sexy/hot. But
when they produced nothing more than a hefty credit statement, she left them in
the closet, untouched and forgotten, and went back to wearing the same drab and
comfortable uniform of sadness.

In one quick motion Zoe scooped up
every pair of nondescript jeans, the tee shirts in the drawer above, and all
other offending apparel that made up her uniform of sadness. She dumped them
into garbage bags and set them by the front door with a mental note to donate
them somewhere. With the dresser empty, she walked to the closet doors and
dramatically opened them with two hands, imagining a flock of moths escaping in
formation above her head. The room was filled to the brim with apparel sorted
by type and color; an army of footwear meticulously placed along one wall,
another wall of shelves lined with colorful accessories. It was an embarrassing
display of wasted wealth that made her cringe. Clearly she had gone overboard
trying to obtain the shopping high that seemed to elude her.

No,
she thought.
I’m not
going to start the day feeling bad about myself.
She was determined to feed
the small seedling inside of her with positivity. Her fingers moved along the
different fabrics, trying to find one that felt the most comfortable. There was
a beautiful but simple silk tank, a pair of nicely tailored twill shorts, and a
cardigan that looked like it was spun in wild gold thread. It sparkled and
gleamed in her hand as she moved it around in the midmorning light. She decided
on a pair of simple sandals from the wall of shoes when her eyes fell on a pair
of blue suede wedge platforms that were as outlandish as they were striking.
She grabbed them and placed the sandals in the empty space, then laid each item
out on the bed before heading back to the bathroom.

After wiping the condensation on
the mirror from the shower she took a good look at her face. She barely
recognized the girl staring back at her. The perpetual sadness had left a
visible imprint on her face and drained her of color. She deliberately lifted
the muscles in the corners of her mouth and watched the disingenuous smile lift
up into her cheeks, shaking as if they didn’t have the necessary strength. She
would need to exercise her seventh cranial nerve more often if she wanted to
look like her old self again.

She brushed and dried her hair,
misted the scent of gardenia on her shoulders, and applied what little makeup
she owned to her face. The grooming made a subtle change and put back some of
the color she’d lost. She took her time with each garment as though she was observing
a ritual. When she finished she felt taller and more confident. When she looked
at her reflection again she still didn’t truly recognize herself, but felt she
came a little bit closer to the Zoe of the past.
Fake it until you make it
,
she chanted to herself.

 Upon returning to the living room
she noticed that it was as empty and neglected as the backyard. She scanned
around the modestly decorated home and made mental notes of changes she could
make, the life she could bring back into the empty spaces. She could vacate the
emptiness and fill it with something that would grow with her over time. If she
could remodel herself she could certainly remodel her home.