Zombie Pink (24 page)

Roger had
raced over to her, so happy she wasn't dead....so thrilled...overjoyed....there were no words....but then, she'd come after him...

Tried to attack him
!

She started growling and snarling, and somehow, she'd even managed to put some of that damn zombie make-up on herself... that ugly reddish pink rash on her face... the weird milky white eyes...

When did she even do that
?

The only answer was that his wife was part of it, too...
part of this crazy zombie cult
!

That's why Mimi had stalked out of their house right when she did, knowing full well that Roger would follow her...she had it all planned out...

This really killed him to admit.

HIS OWN WIFE
!

He didn't deserve this.

Mimi had been acting so fucking weird lately....and she'd always been so damn insecure....someone like that was easy to recruit...easy to brainwash.....

Whenever they watched the news or any sort of documentary, Mimi would immediately agree with whatever the person on TV was saying. That
redneck with one tooth left in his mouth who claimed BigFoot walked through his kitchen while he was sucking down his morning oatmeal
? Mimi believed him!

His wife was exactly the sort of person who always got recruited into cults...

Roger forced himself off the damn couch. He was so confused. Should he call the local police?

Then his wife would be arrested.

Shit. What should he do?

Had any of this crap made the news?

Roger turned on Fox news.
Meghan Kelly, a blonde news woman Roger had
always admired and enjoyed listening to, was actually talking about....he couldn't believe it.....A ZOMBIE LIKE VIRUS?

"Oh come on!" Roger said in disbelief.

Not Fox News!

Weren't they the ones known for seeing through all the phony bullshit?

"Oh screw you, Fox!" Roger declared, switching over to MSNBC.

There he saw some young Hispanic woman jabbering on about the CDC and mosquito bites and brain altering viruses... sudden outbreak ... pinkish purple rash... everyone advised to stay indoors... National Guard is on the way......

”
You've got to be kidding!" Roger exclaimed.

Roger tried all the channels, and they were all basically running the same exact story, except for Cartoon Network, which showed SpongeBob flipping burgers at the Krusty Krab.

Not one of the news channels floated the possibility that this sick outbreak might be fake? That meant the crazies had won!

What was this....
The Purge
?

The worst part of all, was that his wife was one of them.

What the hell should he do?

He had to find her.

He had to help her.

Despite the fact she had done this, Roger refused to blame her. She was an easy target.

The National Guard...was that for real? She'd be taken away. Maybe she would be shot! Or some overly-panicked neighbor would shoot her.

He had heard that rifle go off. He'd also heard a siren, which sounded like the siren the town used for a tornado warning. And sure as shit, there was no tornado coming.

Or was there?

Hell, that's all he needed!

What the hell was wrong with the news running a scare tactic report like this?

Were they insane?

He had to find Mimi before anyone else did. Hopefully, he wasn't too late
.

Roger wished he had a handgun
. Truthfully, he hadn't felt much need for one before. However, being an avid turkey hunter, he did own a shotgun, which he removed from the safe in the dining
room.

He loaded the gun, took another giant swig of Arizona Tea, and headed out the door to find his wife. She would respect the gun.

Hopefully, he wouldn't have to use it on anyone else.

After Roger stalked out into the driveway, however, he was pissed as hell to discover that the tires of his trusty Kia Sorento had all been slashed.

"Fuck!" he swore.

Did Mimi slash the tires?

Roger just stood there, shaking his head
. This night was total madness.

Nothing would surprise him anymore.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

WHOMP!

There it was
again.
Another loud thump on the basement window.

"I'm calling 9-1-1!" Andrea announced, immediately reaching for her
phone.

Andrea saw a text from her mom.
T
he subject line was
URGENT!

She would read it
later.
Right now, there was some creepy shit happening right outside the basement window that was just a little more urgent than her mom reminding her to wash her dinner dishes.

Thunder boomed all around, causing the whole house to vibrate
.
There was also a siren shrieking through the neighborhood which added to the apocalyptic atmosphere. Andrea was so glad she wasn't home alone when all this happened, despite how irritating and obnoxious Lisa was.

"Wait a minute, people!" Drew commanded
. "What if it's just an animal or something?"

"What's the "
or something
" part?" I Andrea asked
. "Frankenweenie?"

”
Maybe it's Tyra Banks!" Lisa chimed in, giggling.

"It would have to be a pretty big animal to make noise like that," Andrea pointed out
, ignoring Lisa. "Like what...
a grizzly bear
? Or maybe a moose in heat? It sound
s angry, whatever it is."

"No, not a grizzly bear or a moose, silly!" Drew replied
. "I mean like a possum or a skunk or a raccoon or..."

"A coyote with rabies?" Patty suggested.

"That’s it! A coyote with rabies!" Drew exclaim
ed
.

"Well, that's still pretty creepy..." Andrea said.

“I once had a dream about possums,” Patty added, in her typical dizzy fashion
. “They were all dropping through the ceiling...”

"What if it's some crazy guy with a gun or a meat cleaver or something?" Andrea asked, cutting Patty off. "What if it's terrorists? I feel like a sitting duck just waiting around down here!"

Andrea had no clue why the term "sitting duck" popped into her head. She had never used that term before in her
life. It sound
ed
like some cheesy line from an old movie. But that's exactly how
she felt
. Like
she was a
sitting duck about to be ...what? Raped?
Executed?
Burned alive?

Her eyes
took a quick scan of the basement. If she needed to grab a weapon, what should it be?

The broom?

The guitar that was coated in dust since no one ever played it?

A vase?

The sharp end of a paint brush?

The stapler?

Admittedly, none of these items would
do a whole lot of good. Maybe there
were some scissors in the desk, but they probably weren't
very sharp.

I’ve got it
!
Andrea thought triumphantly
.
I’ll toss a whole bunch of nicotine into the killer's eyes.
That should do the trick
!

"Let's just wait a few minutes and see if we can get a good look at what it is,” Drew suggested.

So they waited for whatever "it" was to "show itself," staring intently at the narrow window in Andrea's basement
. Except for Patty, who for some reason
, kept staring at the basement
wall.

"What if we don't see anything?" Andrea finally asked after a few moments had passed. with no more thumping or signs of bears, possums or coyotes. "What if it's some evil ax-wielding lumberjack discovering a way to break into this house, right this very second?"

"Yea...maybe this is stupid..." Drew agreed.

"Oh God! I think it's EXCITING!" Lisa shriek
ed. "I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A MOVIE!"

"Yea, and maybe in that movie everyone gets killed," Andrea pointed out, sarcastically
. "Wouldn’t
that
be exciting?"

“See? Andrea’s no fun!” Lisa
whined, with what was supposed to be a sexy pout.

Lisa was one of those women who never seemed to grasp th
e fact that calculated sexy pouts just don't work on other women.

"Maybe we’re about to be raped by some guy with aids!" Drew put
in.

“Oh thanks, Drew,” Andrea told her friend
. “I feel much better now.”

“Well they do have those pills you can take,” Lisa said.

“That is so not funny,” Andrea informed her.

Andrea thought that Lisa really needed to work on her terrible sense of humor.

Just then, another loud clap of thunder echoed through the basement.

"How timely," Drew remarked.

"The prettiest girl always gets killed first!" Lisa exclaimed excitedly
. "I guess that would be me!"

"Or maybe Andrea," Drew said.

"Shut up, Drew!" Lisa sang out.

Andrea did have to agree with Lisa's comment about feeling like they were in a movie though.

It would be one of those bad slasher movies from the eighties that involved a group of young people having fun....young people with blow-dried hair and preppy clothes drinking out of red Solo cups and flirting... until someone like Jason or Freddy Kreuger crashes the party and slays a few of them, leaving the others running away shrieking in horror.

Then it happened again.

WHOMP!

Only this time, someone really was there behind the window.
Only it wasn't Freddy Krueger or Jason or the Chainsaw Massacre guy
. O
r even a coyote with rabies.

It was
a woman.

"What the hell...." Lisa exclaimed.

Andrea dropped her cell phone onto the couch.

OH MY GOD…
she thought.
I KNOW WHO THAT IS!

Only, she couldn't believe it.

It was way too freaky a coincidence....

Andrea honestly believed she would be less shocked to see Freddy Krueger behind that window.

"I know who that is!" Andrea informed her friends
, staring at the sick looking face on the other side of the glass. "I mean, I'm pretty sure..."

IT’S HER!
Andrea's brain screamed.
MR. SEXY JOGGER’S WIFE!

She was positive.

What the hell is she doing at my basement window in the middle of the night
?
Andrea couldn't help but wonder.
AND WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH HER
?

Andrea was convinced this was some kind of curse brought on by her fantasizing about the woman's
husband.

Holy shit
!
she thought unreasonably
.
This is it
!
She’s come to get me
!
And not only has she come to get me, she's turned into a monster
!

"She looks really sick" Drew commented, moving in to get a closer look.

The woman's purplish pink face was
pressed up against the glass. Her eyes
were a milky white color and her mouth was
distorted into a gruesome twisted grimace.

The woman appeared to have a giant wound on one side of her face and her ear was mostly torn off. There was a fair share of bright red blood dripping from her face and ear, along with some dark caked-up blood around the wounds.

Suddenly, the woman backed
up, leaving the basement window smeared with sticky blood.

Then she proceeded to bang on the glass in a steady rhythm as though she was in some kind of trance.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Oh shit!" Drew gasped
. "Andrea! Remember
Dead Heads last night?"

"Stop!" Andrea said
. "There's no such thing as zombies!"

"I don't know about that," Lisa chimed
in. "She sure looks like one to me
."

"Be serious, you guys!" Andrea warned, wondering where the woman's husband, aka Mr. Sexy Jogger, was.

He couldn't have done this to her...could he
?
she pondered.
No, of course not.
He look
s like such a nice guy
!