Zombies: The Recent Dead (21 page)

David Prill

Hey Jerry, there’s that new girl.

Oh yes. Her name’s Caroline May Ames. She’s a swell kid.

Why? Do you know her?

Not very well, Bud. I wish I did.

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about her you like.

Well, she always looks nice for one thing.

They all look nice, at first . . .

Jerry hadn’t had a date in an eternity. He didn’t know why. They had dressed him so stylishly. His black dress shoes had such a sheen to them. His wispy brown hair was trimmed and combed. His cheeks had a ruddy, outdoorsy hue. His fingernails had once been nicely manicured—now they had grown long. Too long. Maybe that was it. Maybe his uncut fingernails were turning off the girls.

No, it had to be more than that.

All in all, I look pretty sharp, he thought.

Then maybe it’s my personality or personal habits.

I’m soft-spoken—my breath would hardly fog a mirror.

Polite. To a fault.

Interesting experiences to share. Absolutely. My life review was a gripping melodrama.

Jerry didn’t want to face rejection again, but he did like that new girl, Caroline May Ames. They had exchanged small talk once before, the day she arrived. They were in the same row, after all. She was so pretty. Her white dress had ivory beads and lace. Her blond hair cascaded comfortably over her shoulders. She had such a peaceful look on her face.

He called for her.

Hi, Caroline. This is Jerry.

Oh hi, Jerry.

I was wondering, Caroline, if you want to go out with me tonight?

Tonight? I’m sorry, I can’t, Jerry. I already have a date for tonight. Why don’t you call some other time?

Oh, okay. Thanks anyway, Caroline. Bye.

Goodbye, Jerry.

Strike out, Jerry thought, feeling dejected. Didn’t she like him? She acted like she did. Then why didn’t she want to go out with him?

He decided to ask Bud about it. Bud had been around longer than Jerry, and always seemed to have good advice to share.

. . . so I don’t know what happened. I asked Caroline for a date, and she turned me down flat.

How long did the conversation last?

Not long. A minute or so.

That’s good. Your call shouldn’t go on for hours. That’s a pretty sensible attitude. When did you ask her to go out with you?

Tonight.

There’s your problem. Be sure not to wait until the last minute to ask a girl for a date. It’s no compliment to any girl to call her so late that she thinks she’s the last resort.

I never thought of that. Thanks a lot, Bud.

Glad to help, fella.

Jerry tried again the next day.

Hi, Caroline, this is Jerry.

Hi, Jerry.

Caroline, uh, I don’t suppose you’d want to go out with me sometime?

Oh, I suppose we could. Call me sometime.

That was better. A real step in the right direction.

He told Bud about his success.

That’s great, Jerry. When are you two going out, then?

Uh, we didn’t exactly set a day.

How did you ask her?

Jerry told him.

Don’t ask a girl out in a backhanded way that makes her feel uncomfortable. It’s a mark of your insecurity, too. And one other tip: Don’t ask a girl if she is busy on a certain night. That puts her on the spot.

Boy, this is more complicated than I thought, Jerry mused.
So how should I ask her then?

Think of something to do that she might like. Don’t leave it entirely up to her. Suggest two or three activities, and see how she responds. Perhaps go out with a group of friends.

There’s a skating party on Friday. Maybe Caroline would want to do that.

Now you’ve got the hang of it.

He called for Caroline again.

Hi, Jerry.

Hi, Caroline. Say, the gang is going to a skating party on Friday. I was wondering if you’d want to go with me. We’d have to leave early, but we’d get back by eleven. Or else we could spend the evening watching the flesh rot off our bones. We’d get back later if we did that.

Gee, Jerry, the skating party sounds like loads of fun. I’d love to go.

Great. I’ll come for you around six.

Jerry was smart. He kept a date calendar, and checked it before asking Caroline to the party. Not a bad idea.

Good boy!
Bud congratulated Jerry when told of his success with Caroline.
I wish I could go to the skating party but I told my folks I’d spend the evening with them. They don’t get out much anymore.

I really appreciate your help
, said Jerry.
I just wish I could take you with me!

Jerry was joshing Bud, but it was true. His friend knew the proper habit patterns, and what it took to be popular.

The days leading up to his date with Caroline seemed to crawl and creep. Throughout the week Jerry quizzed Bud on how he should behave on his date, what to say, what a girl expects. Finally, the weekend rolled in, and Jerry grew stiff with anticipation.

Wardrobe. Jerry decided to wear what he had on. His dark suit. It made him look more mature. A few holes, hardly noticeable, some mild staining in the crotch area, but Caroline would understand. She was that kind of girl.

A few minutes before six Jerry showed up where Caroline lived. He didn’t need Bud to tell him the importance of promptness. He wanted to make a good impression on her folks, too.

Her parents were side by side when he arrived.

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Ames. I’m Jerry Weathers, Caroline’s friend.

Even though they were Midwestern stoic, Jerry felt at ease with her mom and dad. There wasn’t enough left of them to make trouble.

Jerry, how nice to see you.

Caroline.

She looked wonderful. White dress. Beads. Blond hair. Shoulders. A portrayal of peace on her face.

Hi, Caroline. You look so natural.

Thanks. How nice of you to notice.
She addressed her parents.
We should be back from the skating party by eleven.

There is no magic formula about when to come home from a date. The hour Jerry and Caroline would return was decided by where they were going on their date, whether tomorrow is a school day, how many dates she has had recently, and so forth.

I’ll take good care of her, Mr. and Mrs. Ames,
said Jerry.
Good night.

’Night, Mom and Dad. Don’t wait up for us.

The skating party. It seemed unreal, that’s how entranced he was with Caroline.

He felt light on his feet, Dead Astaire, his skate blades cutting into the dark sheet on the pond. They skated in a long loop, hand in hand. Caroline’s hand was colder than Hell. He tried warming it up with his own, but it didn’t seem to help much.

As they skated beneath the festering full moon, they seemed to get into a rhythm with each other, carried away with the dance. Jerry would release Caroline, just the tips of their fingers touching, then he would draw her back in, and they would spin around, laughing inside, and skate on down the ice. Caroline seemed to be enjoying herself a lot. She was a good kid.

Jerry had been concentrating on Caroline so much that he was surprised when he looked away and saw that the whole gang was watching them waltz across the pond.

We’re a big hit,
he said, nodding to the onlookers.

When Caroline realized they had an audience, she self-consciously tried to stop, her blade catching a ridge on the ice. She lost her balance, and they fell in time, too.

The gang rushed over.

Are you guys all right?

I think so,
said Jerry.
Caroline, are you hurt?

I’m fine. Just a little bump.

We should probably sit and watch the others skate for awhile.

No, don’t stop,
the gang said.
You two were skating so beautifully.

Yes, how long have you been skating together?

Well, actually this is our first date,
Jerry explained.

You’re kidding! Wow. Talk about a perfect match.

Caroline got a blushing expression on her face, although no blood filled her cheeks. It was pretty cold out there on the pond.

I think we’ll catch our breaths,
Jerry said, helping Caroline back up onto her feet.

They skated carefully over to the edge of the pond, stepping through the snowbank to a concrete bench. A weather-worn angel watched over them, a dollop of snow on her nose.

Jerry tried to call up the advice Bud has passed on to him. What did he say to talk about? A popular movie, friends they have in common, anything that is of mutual interest.

Movies were out. He hadn’t seen one in ages. Friends? She was new in his neighborhood. Anything they were both interested in. That was the solution, but what did they share other than their place of residence? He didn’t know.

Say something . . .

Uh, Caroline . . .

Yes, Jerry?

That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing.

Why, thank you. You look very nice, too.

Do I really? I mean, it’s my only suit . . .

It looks fine.

And my skin. The flaking . . . the bugs . . .

She took both of his hands in hers.
Jerry, I like you. For yourself. I don’t care about the bugs. Forget about the bugs. You’d have to be looking for them to see them. You have a good heart. I’m glad you asked me out. I’m having a fun time. I really am.

Gosh, Caroline, you’re really a neat person.

Silence, and then Jerry began to feel awkward. Think of something.

Then it struck him. How could I have missed it? The perfect topic for first date small talk. He knew Bud would be proud.

I like the smell of . . . dirt. Do you?

I didn’t at first. But I think I’m getting used to it.

Me, too. I mean, I didn’t like it at first either. But after awhile, it kind of, you know, gets under your skin.

Yes, I suppose it does.

In the springtime, they bring flowers.

I love flowers.

Sometimes, you can smell the rain.

I always liked rain. Rain makes the whole world fresh and new.

Sometimes, there are leaks.

I suppose so.

They chatted for awhile longer, swapping death stories—she and her folks expiring in a car wreck on an ice-coated highway, he succumbing to an inoperable brain tumor—then returned to the pond. The skating party broke up as the moon went down. Things were going so well with Caroline that he didn’t want to break the spell.

Caroline’s mom and dad were inert when they got back. It was only a quarter to eleven.

I had a swell time tonight
, said Caroline.

I’m glad you enjoyed the skating,
Jerry said.
I’m glad you weren’t hurt when you fell on the ice.

I was more surprised than anything. All those people staring at us. It was like a dream.

They were having a good time together. But all good things, like life itself, must eventually come to an end.

Thank you for our date,
Jerry said.
I
had fun, too. I hope we can see each other again.

So do I
, Caroline said.
Please call for me anytime.

In many communities, a good night kiss is expected as the customary way of ending a date. It can mean any number of things. A token of friendship, a simple way of saying thank you for the evening, a sign of affection. What it means depends on the two people and their definition of their relationship and themselves.

Jerry took the safe route. When Caroline rose, he squeezed her hand and searched for a smile.

The look on her face said she had a smile inside her, too.

And the date was over.

The next day, he told Bud about his evening with Caroline. Not in too much detail, because he didn’t want to be one of those boys who doesn’t respect a girl’s privacy and reputation, and most importantly her personal feelings.

Your advice really helped me a lot,
he told Bud.

Glad to be of service, guy.

I’m not sure what to do next. Should I wait a few days before calling her again? I don’t feel like waiting. But I don’t want her to think I’m too pushy either.