01_The Best Gift (13 page)

“You’re doing great. But don’t lose all your good qualities along the way, too, okay?”

“Such as?”

“Well, let’s see.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “You’re dependable. Kind. Hardworking. Practical. Thoughtful. Smart.”

“You forgot good-looking,” he teased.

“Let’s not get carried away,” she replied with a grin.

“Ouch! You sure know how to hurt a guy.” He turned into the park, made the loop to the lake and pulled into a parking space. “I just discovered this park. Rose told me about it a few days ago, so I checked it out. I can’t believe I’ve lived here for three years and never even knew this place existed. But then, there were a lot of things I never noticed.”

A.J. stepped out of the car and looked at the lake. A pavilion stood off to one side, and there was a large deck that went right up to the water. Built-in benches and picnic tables were scattered around the planked surface. “Well, I’m glad you noticed this,” she said, smiling appreciatively at the peaceful, quiet scene.

“Yeah, and it’s all ours today,” he said, nodding toward the deserted pavilion.

Once again he reached for her hand, as he had at the shop. A.J. didn’t protest. She liked the way his strong fingers held hers firmly, protectively.

He led her to a picnic table on the deck, near the water’s edge. “How does this look?”

“Perfect.”

“Okay. Let’s see what Rose has packed.” He opened the hamper and handed A.J. a checkered cloth. “Hmm. I see she expects us to do this in style. A tablecloth, no less.” As A.J. spread the cloth, he rummaged around in the hamper, then began handing her the food. “Chicken salad on croissants. Pasta salad. Fresh fruit. Cheese and crackers. Double fudge brownies. Bottled water. I’d say we have a feast here.”

“Seems like it.”

A.J. unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite. She closed her eyes as she chewed, savoring the warm spring sun on her back and this stolen afternoon. “This is great!”

“So you don’t mind playing hooky after all?” Blake teased, spearing a forkful of pasta salad.

“That’s the trouble. I could do this every day. You’re going to instill bad habits in me.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“You might be surprised. You could turn me into a world-class loafer with no problem.”

“Sorry. Don’t buy it. There’s not a lazy bone in your body.”

“Mmm. I don’t know. I feel pretty lazy today.”

“That’s probably because you need a day off.”

“I’m off every Sunday. And every other Saturday.”

“I mean a real vacation day.”

She shrugged. “There’s been a lot to learn at the shop. And things have been hopping with MacKenzie. Besides, who are you to talk? You don’t take much time off. And I saw your calendar in the den when I spent the night at your house. Even on your free Saturdays you’re busy.” She turned to look at him. “I didn’t know about the homeless shelter or Big Brothers until then. I’m impressed, Blake.”

He dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand. “My paltry efforts pale in comparison to what you did in Afghanistan.”

A troubled frown creased her brow. “Actually, I’m not sure I can take a lot of credit for that. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching. In some ways, I think I was running away.”

“You could have run to a safer, more comfortable place,” he said skeptically.

“Maybe. But I wanted to go somewhere that didn’t even remotely remind me of home.”

“You picked a good place, then. And frankly, you had a lot to run away from.”

She picked at her pasta salad with the tines of her fork. “Yeah, but running isn’t the answer. Not in the long term,” she said quietly, a touch of melancholy in her tone. She speared a forkful of noodles, and when she spoke again, her voice was more normal. “I’m not sorry I went to Afghanistan, though. We did some great work there. But I realize now that you don’t have to go to the remote corners of the world to help others. You can do good work a lot closer to home. Like you do, with those two organizations.”

“I’m just glad that another trip to Afghanistan isn’t in your plans. Do you want a brownie?”

She grinned. “Are you kidding?”

He handed one over, then unwrapped his own. “By the way, I wanted to thank you for dragging me along to church that Sunday after the snowstorm.”

“I don’t recall dragging you. In fact, I think it was your idea.”

“Well, maybe. But not for the most noble reasons.” He hurried on before she could ask what he meant. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I took your advice and had a theological discussion with Reverend Matthews. In fact, more than one discussion.”

She looked at him in surprise. “When did you do that?”

“The week after the storm. He was very approachable. And very informative.”

“He’s a great guy.”

“Anyway, after that I called my parents.”

She gave him a radiant smile. “Oh, Blake, I’m so glad! I bet they were delighted!”

He crumpled the plastic wrap from his brownie self-consciously. “Yeah, they were. We had a long talk. They want me to come and visit.”

“Are you going to go?”

“Probably. I didn’t commit, but I think it makes sense. It’s hard to really connect by phone. We made a good start, though.”

She reached over impulsively and laid her hand on his. “I’m so happy for you, Blake. And proud of you. It’s not easy to forgive, to let go of resentment that goes so deep. Especially when you’ve felt that way for such a long time. But at least you’ve taken the first step. Started the healing process. The rest will be easier.”

Blake looked down at A.J.’s hand resting on his, her slender fingers pale against his darker skin. Then he glanced at her face. Her earnest eyes reflected absolute happiness for him and her lips were turned up softly into a tender smile that tugged at his heart. The sun lit up the red highlights in her hair, and Blake drew an unsteady breath. He hadn’t asked A.J. on this picnic for romantic reasons. At least not consciously. He’d simply wanted to get away from worries about MacKenzie for a few hours, and to share the beautiful day with her—as well as the news of the first steps he’d taken with his faith and with his parents. But now he realized that without her, he wouldn’t even have appreciated the beauty of this day. Or considered going to church. Or initiated contact with his parents. Or found himself on a picket line. Or planned an impromptu picnic.

After meeting A.J., Blake had quickly realized that she was going to make changes. In the shop, and in his life. He’d resisted those changes every step of the way. Had feared them. But now he realized that the changes she’d made breathed new life into his mind—and his heart. And he also realized something else.

He was a goner.

His gaze returned to her face. Her smile had faded, and there was uncertainty in her eyes as she sensed the shift in his mood. He also saw fear. Which he understood. Giving your heart to someone special, then losing that person, would breed fear. And he was afraid, too. Of trusting. Of putting his welfare in someone else’s hands. Perhaps that was why he’d never married. Why he’d never even gotten serious about any of the women he’d dated.

Until now.

Blake stared at A.J., a woman he had once considered the most unlikely possible candidate for a wife. Just a few months ago he had wanted to wring her neck. When had his feelings grown so serious? All he knew was that thanks to Jo—and maybe to an even higher power—this special woman had come into his life. Yes, they were different. Yes, they had disagreements. Yes, they were bound to clash. But they were both changing. They were beginning to recognize and value the unique qualities they each brought to their relationship. And they absolutely could not deny the chemistry between them. They’d certainly tried to. But it was growing stronger every day. And they needed to deal with it.

Slowly Blake turned to straddle the bench, his gaze never leaving her face. He saw the sudden rush of fear in her eyes. But he also saw the yearning.

“Blake, I…”

His fingers on her lips instantly silenced her, and she went absolutely still. “I know. You’re scared. So am I,” he said huskily. “I never planned this, never in a million years expected it. But there’s something between us, A.J. I know you feel it, too. I see it in your eyes.”

“Th-that doesn’t mean we should do anything about it.”

He reached over and gently brushed a stray tendril of hair off her face. “Do we have a choice?”

She didn’t respond immediately. When she did speak, her voice was choked. “I c-can’t take the chance. It h-hurts too much to l-lose someone you love. I wouldn’t survive…again.”

With his free hand he reached for hers and comfortingly stroked the back with his thumb. “Does it hurt any less to be alone?” he asked gently.

When she didn’t respond, he reached over and rested his hands on her stiff shoulders. He could feel her quivering, and he kneaded her taut muscles, realizing his own hands were none too steady.

“You know I would never hurt you, don’t you?” he said softly.

“Not on purpose. Eric wouldn’t have, either. That doesn’t make it hurt any less when someone is gone. And life doesn’t come with guarantees.”

He had no response to that. Because it was true.

“Besides, w-we’re too different,” she said unevenly.

That was something he
could
respond to. “What’s that old saying about opposites attracting?”

“I—I’m not sure I ever believed that.”

“Me neither. Until now. Besides, I don’t think we’re as different as we once thought. And the differences we do have seem to complement each other. That’s not a bad thing, is it?”

“I guess not.”

“Besides, after one kiss the attraction might fizzle anyway. Then our problem is solved.”

She managed the ghost of a smile. “This is sure an odd conversation.”

His own lips quirked up wryly. “Well, our relationship hasn’t exactly developed along conventional lines. Why start following the norm now?”

He felt the tension in her shoulders ease slightly.

“I’m not even sure I remember how to do this,” she said with disarming honesty. “It’s been a long time. You’ll probably be disappointed.”

He lifted one hand from her shoulder and traced the outline of her face with a gentle finger. “I doubt that.” When he touched her lips, she drew in a sharp breath. “Come here. Let me hold you for a minute.” Without waiting for her to respond, he closed the distance between them and pulled her close, cradling her head against his shoulder. It was an embrace of comfort and reassurance—but unlike the other times he’d held her, it was also an embrace of anticipation.

He stayed like that for what seemed to be a long time, stroking her back, communicating to her by his gentle but strong touch that she had nothing to fear from him. That he understood her apprehensions, and the need to take things slowly. For both their sakes. But that it was also time to begin exploring the attraction between them.

Blake wasn’t sure if her trembling actually subsided, or if he only imagined it had. But finally he turned his head and let his lips make contact with her temple, then slowly travel across her forehead. When he felt her hands lightly, tentatively, touch his back, he moved slightly away and cradled her head with one hand, resting the other lightly on her shoulder. He was careful to communicate through his posture that she could move away at any time. If she kissed him back, he wanted it to be freely given.

He waited a moment, until her eyelids flickered open and he saw what he needed to see. Then, his gaze never leaving hers, he slowly closed the distance between them until their lips connected. He brushed his lips across hers, once, twice, three times, light as a summer breeze. Waiting for a reaction. Giving her a chance to pull back.

But she didn’t. Instead, she pulled him closer. And Blake needed no more encouragement. Telling himself to move slowly, he tenderly claimed A.J.’s sweet lips.

After an interlude in which time seemed to stand still, Blake finally broke contact. He backed off slightly and gazed down at her, gripping her upper arms. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to steady himself or her. No matter. They both needed to regain their balance.

“Wow!” A.J. whispered, her eyes wide.

“Yeah. Wow!”

She took a deep breath. “So what do we do now?”

When his eyes darkened in response and he leaned toward her, she put a restraining hand on his chest. “Not a good idea.”

He sighed and backed off, flashing her a grin. “Yeah. You’re right. But we can’t ignore this, you know.”

“I know. It’s just that…” Her voice trailed off.

“You need to move slowly,” he finished for her.

She nodded. “I still have issues to work through. In spite of what just happened, I’m still scared.”

“I understand. I’ve never been a fast mover, either. Remember, I’m just starting to dabble in spontaneity. We both need time to sort things out. We’ll take it slow and easy. Okay?” He reached for her hands.

She looked at him skeptically. “Do you think we’ll be able to manage that?”

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “We’re both disciplined people. We can make this work.”

“So…no more kissing?” she said wistfully.

He smiled. “I wouldn’t go that far. Let’s try this.”

He leaned toward her, keeping her hands in his, and kissed her tenderly. It was a kiss that spoke of honor and caring and attraction.

“How’s that?” he asked when he finally moved away.

She drew an unsteady breath. “This isn’t going to be easy.”

“I know. But we can do this, A.J. Trust me.”

She gazed into his eyes and smiled. “I do.”

But as they gathered up the remnants of their picnic, he hoped her confidence wasn’t misplaced. Because he knew his self-discipline was about to be mightily tested. So Blake did something he’d never done in his life. He asked for help from a higher power.

Lord, I know I’m new to the fold. I don’t even know how to pray yet. But I hope You’ll listen to my request anyway. I’m not sure where this thing with A.J. is headed. But I know I’m falling in love with her. I don’t honestly know whether that’s in either of our best interests. So we need to give this time, and not get so caught up in the chemistry between us that we’re blind to more important considerations. You know I’ve always been good at self-control. Probably too good. But I need it now. Big-time.