01_The Best Gift (15 page)

“Blake?”

He heard the breathlessness in her voice, knew that she’d been worried. “I’m okay, A.J. But my dad isn’t. When I called out there a few minutes ago to confirm some things about my visit next week, I found out my dad had a heart attack today.”

“Oh, Blake! How bad is it?”

“Apparently pretty mild. They weren’t even going to call me about it. They said they didn’t want me to worry, or to cancel my trip next week because he was sick. Listen, I need to go out there. Right away. I don’t know if they’re telling me the whole story, and if anything happened to my dad before…” His voice grew hoarse, and he stopped to clear his throat. “I just need to go.”

“Of course.”

“You’ll be shorthanded at the shop.”

“We’ll cope.”

“And the whole MacKenzie deal is still up in the air.”

“You said yourself there’s nothing we can do now but wait. And I’ll let you know if I hear any news. Just go. Don’t worry about anything here.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry about this, A.J.”

“Don’t be. This is what you do for family. You go when they need you. You support them. You show them you care. I’d be disappointed if you didn’t go.”

“Thanks. We’ll reschedule this when I get back. Okay?”

“Absolutely. Did you call the airline yet?”

“No. That’s next on my list.”

“Let me know when your flight is. I’ll drive you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. No arguments.”

He didn’t even try to dissuade her. She obviously wasn’t going to budge. Besides, he wanted to see her before he left.

He was on the cell phone most of the way to the airport, arranging for a rental car in Oregon, calling in regrets for a board meeting with Big Brothers, canceling an appointment he had with Reverend Matthews. She stole a few worried glances at him during the drive. He looked more harried than she’d ever seen him, and the deep creases in his brow told her just how upset he was about his father.

For safety’s sake, he insisted she leave him at the drop-off area instead of parking in the garage, and she didn’t argue. She stood quietly beside him as he took out his carry-on and glanced at his watch.

“You’d better go. This is cutting it pretty close already,” she said.

Blake reached over and gently stroked her cheek. “This wasn’t in my plans for tonight.”

“You’ve gotten better about changing plans on short notice.”

“I didn’t want to change these.” He studied her for a moment, as if memorizing her features, then reached over and pulled her close. For a long moment he just held her, drawing strength from her warm embrace. “I’ll be back soon,” he said, his voice muffled in her hair.

He backed up then, and she searched his face. The harsh overhead lights mercilessly highlighted the strain and tension in his features. Now it was her turn to touch his face.

“Take whatever time you need. I’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Is that a promise?”

There was more in his question than a mere confirmation that she would be physically there. And she knew it. But it didn’t alter her response. “Yes.”

His eyes darkened and he leaned toward her, his lips touching hers in a brief kiss.

“I—I’ll be thinking about you,” she whispered when he broke contact.

He took her hands in his, and his gaze locked with hers. “That’s good. Because a man always likes to know that he’s on the mind of the woman he loves.”

Then, before she could respond, he reached for his bag and strode away.

“We appreciate your coming out, son. But you could have waited until next week, like you planned. We’re sorry to inconvenience you.”

Blake looked at his father and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. He had gone directly to the hospital from the airport, mentally preparing himself for this scene along the way. But walking in and finding his robust father flat on his back and looking very frail and vulnerable had still shocked him. “It’s not an inconvenience, Dad.”

“Carl didn’t even want me to call. But I thought you’d want to know. We didn’t expect you to drop everything and come out, though.”

He looked at his mother, who was sitting on the other side of his father’s hospital bed, holding her husband’s hand.

“I wanted to be here.”

A look passed between Jan and Carl, and his mother’s eyes filled with tears. His father patted her hand, then turned to Blake. His own eyes were suspiciously moist.

“I’ll be fine, son. It will just take a little time.”

Blake had spoken with the doctors, and while his father’s prognosis was good, the heart attack had been more serious than his mother had led him to believe on the phone. Recovery would take more than a little time. Meaning that for the immediate future, his mother would be on her own to run the shops. Which he was confident she was perfectly capable of doing—under normal circumstances. But he wasn’t so sure about right now, when she was worried about her husband.

“Can you stay for a few days, Li…Blake?”

He nodded slowly. “I’d like to spend some time with you. And visit your shops. Maybe I can even help out a little, since you’ll be shorthanded.”

Carl frowned. “This was supposed to be a vacation for you.”

“We don’t want to put you to work the minute you get here,” his mother concurred.

He shrugged. “That’s what family’s for.”

His mother hesitated and glanced uncertainly at Carl. “Well, second quarter closing will need to be taken care of in the next couple of weeks. Carl’s always been our liaison with the accountants, but with your business background it might be helpful if you could look over their shoulder this one time.”

“I can do that, Jan,” Carl protested.

“I’ll do it, Dad. You need to concentrate on getting better.”

Jan swiped at her eyes, then impulsively reached across the bed with her free hand. Blake hesitated only a fraction of a second before he took it. And only a second more before he laid his other hand over his father’s.

“I know we haven’t been close,” he said, his voice strangely tight. “And I know a lot of that—maybe all of it—is my fault. You’ve reached out to me many times through the years. I just haven’t responded. And I’m sorry for that now.”

“It was our fault, too, Blake. Your dad and I didn’t do the best job raising you. We never realized how important stability is to a child. We thought that our lifestyle would expose you to new experiences and instill a sense of adventure in you. It was only years later, when I went back to school for nutrition and took some child psychology courses, that I realized how badly we’d failed. We never gave you the security you needed. But it was too late. You were already grown up.”

His mother’s voice broke, and Blake squeezed her hand.

“Mom, it’s okay,” he said, his own voice uneven. “I know you and Dad did your best.”

“It wasn’t good enough,” his father said.

Blake looked over at his father. The older man’s face was strained and pale, and he clearly wasn’t up to an emotional scene tonight. But Blake wanted his parents to at least know that he was willing to do his part to mend the rift.

“It
was
good enough, Dad, because at the time, you and Mom thought you were doing the right thing. And it’s not too late,” he said, echoing words A.J. had once spoken to him. “I’m willing to start over, if you are.”

Carl and Jan exchanged another look.

“It’s what we’ve prayed for,” she told Blake, dabbing at her eyes. “A second chance.”

“We’ll do better this time, son,” his father said. “Everything will be different.”

“Not everything,” Jan corrected.

Blake looked at her curiously. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve always loved you, Blake. Maybe we haven’t always shown it in the right way, or given you the things you needed, but you always had our love. You still do. That will never change.”

Blake gazed from his mother to his father. The unconditional love and acceptance in their eyes made his throat tighten with emotion. Perhaps it had always been there and he’d just never noticed. Perhaps, through all these years when he’d felt so alone and adrift, he’d had a family after all, just waiting to be rediscovered.

Blake knew that the rebuilding process wouldn’t happen overnight. He needed to learn how to relate to the two people across from him, who had clearly changed and grown through the years—just as he had. He needed to learn how to share his life with them. And he needed to learn how to say “I love you.”

But tonight, as they sat with hands clasped in a sterile hospital room that served as a vivid reminder that no material security in the world could guarantee tomorrow, he knew they were on the road to creating the kind of security that money couldn’t buy. A security that would transcend the constraints of time and space.

The security of a loving family.

And in his heart, Blake said a silent thank-you to the Lord for giving him the courage to take this first step toward forgiveness—and reconciliation.

He knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy. That they’d all make mistakes. After all, they were very different people. But so were he and A.J., and he’d fallen in love with her. So he knew he could make things work with his parents. That with love and commitment, they could create the kind of family that would sustain them in the years ahead.

And he also knew something else. Given how A.J. and his parents had hit it off, he’d never have to worry about his wife getting along with the in-laws!

If she said yes when he popped the question.

Which he intended to do as soon as possible.

“A.J.
! A.J.! Have you seen today’s paper?”

A.J. looked up from the sales report she was studying. George stood in the office doorway, grinning broadly.

“No. Why?”

“We won! It is over. Here. Read.” He thrust the newspaper at her and pointed to a small article in the metro section, which A.J. quickly scanned.

“The Maplewood Board of Aldermen has rejected a proposal by MacKenzie Properties, a prominent real estate development firm, to use Tax Increment Financing (TIF) as a basis for the construction of a new retail/residential complex in the 1200 block of Collier Avenue.

“‘The development was strongly opposed by area merchants and residents, who circulated petitions and collected thousands of signatures. They also staged a rally in front of city hall a few weeks ago, which generated significant media attention. Mayor Lawrence Russell said that this strong opposition was the key factor in the board’s decision.

“‘The development would certainly have been good for Maplewood from a financial perspective, but one of the reasons our town has enjoyed such a phenomenal rebirth is because we have always maintained our neighborhood feel and preserved the integrity and character of the area,’ Russell said. ‘We hope to work with Mr. MacKenzie on other projects in the future, but we did not feel that this particular one was in the best interest of Maplewood, nor was it endorsed by our constituency.’

“Following the ruling, MacKenzie Properties withdrew its proposal for the development.”

As she read, a smile spread over A.J.’s face. So David had triumphed over Goliath after all! She couldn’t wait to tell Blake!

“I think we should celebrate,” George said excitedly. “Tonight, we have a party at my restaurant. Come when you close. I tell the others.” He looked around. “Where is Blake?”

“His father became ill suddenly and he had to go to the West Coast. But I’ll call him right away.”

“I am sorry to hear that. But you will come tonight, yes?”

She grinned. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

Blake leaned back in his chair, giving his eyes a momentary rest from the computer screen. He’d been studying the books for his parents’ stores for the past several hours in preparation for the second-quarter closing, and he was impressed.

Big-time.

They didn’t just run a couple of stores. They ran a thriving enterprise that had been approached by a major corporation interested in buying them out and franchising.

Blake frowned. He was happy for his parents. They’d mentioned at A.J.’s the night she’d invited them to dinner that they’d been far more successful than they’d ever dreamed. But he’d had no idea they were
this
successful.

So successful, in fact, that it took both his mother and father working more than full-time just to keep up with the daily demands of the business. And his father was in no condition to resume that kind of work schedule. Nor would he be in the immediate future—if ever. He was home from the hospital and had started cardiac rehab, but the doctors had made it clear that he needed to permanently adopt a slower-paced lifestyle. And in light of the demands of their business, he knew that directive was weighing heavily on the minds of his parents.

And on his.

It was obvious to Blake that his parents needed more help than he could offer in a week or two. Not only because of the current crisis, but because the business was rapidly becoming more complex and growing beyond the scope of their expertise. They needed a full-time business manager. And they could certainly hire one. But Blake had the credentials, and no one would care more about the business than family. Or watch out for their interests with the same diligence. And that was important. Because as he’d looked through the books, it was obvious that while much had changed over the years, his parents still retained the sunny optimism of their youth and were always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. Which was not a bad thing—in theory. But it had cost them on a number of occasions when fly-by-night suppliers had disappeared with their money. Blake wouldn’t be such a soft touch. And unlike a hired business manager, he wouldn’t just take orders; he’d watch out for the best interests of his parents, even if that meant going head-to-head with them about financially unstable suppliers or unsound business arrangements.

Blake tried to ignore the sense of duty tugging on his conscience. After all, this wasn’t his business. It wasn’t his problem. But a little voice told him otherwise, reminded him that if he was trying to rebuild a family, he needed to be there for his parents. Even if what that required wasn’t in his plans.

And moving to Oregon to run a natural food business definitely wasn’t in his plans.

Blake reached back and massaged his neck with one hand. From a practical standpoint, his parents’ business was certainly more profitable than the bookshop and would provide him with more financial stability and security. But that no longer held the appeal it once had. It wasn’t even a factor in his decision.

Because of A.J.

The mere thought of her brought a smile to his lips. As they’d worked side by side over the past few months, he’d learned so much from her. About priorities, about letting go, and about what really counted. And along the way, he’d fallen in love with her. Deeply. Irrevocably. Forever. He loved her enthusiasm. Her energy. The way her eyes flashed with passion when she discussed her beliefs. Her eclectic taste in clothes. Her intelligence. Her courage. Her determination. Her deep faith. And the willingness she was beginning to exhibit to once again put down roots, make plans for the future and open herself to love.

And now this. If he decided to stay and help his parents, he’d have to ask her to change direction again, to leave the shop she had come to love. Just when its future had been secured.

It was ironic, really. In the beginning, he’d backed away from the MacKenzie fight. But gradually he’d been pulled into it, and by the end he’d been fighting as hard as anyone else to stop the development. Not only to protect Jo’s legacy and his own future, but because it seemed the right thing to do. He’d always figured their odds of winning were marginal, at best. That they could very well lose the shop, be forced to start over. He hadn’t wanted that to happen. Now, selfishly, he almost wished it had. Because it would make his decision about his parents’ situation much easier.

Blake knew that A.J. had been surprised by his somewhat subdued mood when she’d called to tell him the news. He’d tried to be enthusiastic, but his own dilemma was weighing heavily on his mind. He’d attributed his less-than-thrilled response to tiredness and concern over his father, and A.J. had seemed to buy that explanation. But it was more than that.

Because if he stayed to help his parents, he’d have to ask A.J. to leave St. Louis and start over once more. It would be a huge sacrifice on her part. And it would have to be motivated by a deep, abiding love.

Blake knew A.J. loved him. But he also knew she was still scared. Even under the best of circumstances, making a commitment to him would require her to take a huge leap of faith.

And these weren’t even close to the best of circumstances.

Lord, why does life have to be so complicated?
he lamented silently. His conscience called him to do one thing; his heart, another. If he went with the call of his conscience, he knew that it would put A.J.’s love for him to the test.

And he was scared to death he would fail.

“You’re offering to stay on as our business manager?”

His parents’ faces reflected shock, and Blake shifted uncomfortably in the wooden chair at their kitchen table. “Yes. The doctors say you’ll be fine, Dad, but it will take time. You’ll need some help in the meantime. And frankly, long-term as well. Because your business is getting incredibly complex. You two have done an impressive job, but I’ve reviewed the operation, looked at all the financials, and you’re at a point where you need a full-time business manager. You could hire a stranger, of course. Or I could step into the role. I’d be happy to give you a copy of my résumé if you want to review my qualifications.” He flashed them a grin, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. But they continued to stare at him, dumbfounded.

Finally Carl glanced at Jan, then turned back to Blake. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Blake, are you sure? What did A.J. say about this?”

Leave it to his mom to hone right in on the heart of his problem, he thought wryly. Over the past two weeks, as he’d reconnected with his parents, she’d quickly picked up on Blake’s interest in their dinner hostess. And been delighted for him, even though he’d never said exactly how serious he was about A.J.

It had taken Blake much prayer and soul-searching—and a phone call to Reverend Matthews—before he had decided to make this offer. He’d also considered talking with A.J., asking her advice, but he knew she’d tell him to go with his conscience—because she would never put selfish desires above family obligations. If there was a need, you met it. Period. So he’d made the decision on his own. He knew she would understand; he just prayed that she would find the courage to trust in their love despite the change in plans.

“Yes, I’m sure. And I haven’t spoken with A.J. about this.”

Jan frowned, but didn’t press him on the point. She looked at Carl and reached for his hand. “It’s too much to ask.” The comment was directed at her husband, not her son.

“I agree.” Carl turned to Blake. “You’re right about us needing help, son. With the way the business has grown, we’ve known for the past few months that we were starting to get in over our heads. But there’s no way we’d ask you to step in. We can manage.”

“You didn’t ask. I offered.”

“And we love you for it. But it’s not the right thing for you. You love the bookshop. You’ve fought hard to save it. And you’ve built a wonderful life in St. Louis,” Jan said. “This business was our dream, not yours. You need to follow your own path.”

Blake studied the two people seated across from him. He wanted to accept their answer. It would be the easy way out. But he knew their decision was based on consideration for him, not their own needs. So he couldn’t just walk away. Because with a little convincing, he was sure he could change their minds.

“I’ll tell you what. I need to make a quick trip back to St. Louis this weekend and take care of a few things. Why don’t you think it over and we can talk when I get back?”

“I doubt we’ll change our minds,” Carl said.

“All I ask is that you think about it.”

“We will. Just don’t worry about us while you’re gone. We’ll be fine,” Jan said. “And be sure to tell A.J. hello for us. She’s a very special young woman. “

Blake already knew that. What he didn’t know was her answer to the question he planned to ask her as soon as he returned.

“Have you heard from Blake lately?”

A.J. set down the stack of books she was carrying and glanced at Nancy. “A couple of days ago. Between helping his mom take care of his dad, plus trying to get a handle on their business, he’s been buried.”

“What’s the latest on his dad?”

“He’s doing better, but he won’t be back to full speed anytime soon.”

“Did Blake say when he was coming back?”

“No.”

A.J. turned away to help a customer, but her mind was on Blake. Though he called regularly, her conversations with him were generally brief and fairly impersonal. And he always sounded distracted and harried. Even the good news about the shop hadn’t seemed to perk him up much. And while he never failed to say that he missed her, there had been no more mention of the “L” word.

A man always likes to know that he’s on the mind of the woman he loves.

Blake’s parting words to her at the airport echoed again in her mind, as they had constantly for the past two weeks. In between customers at the shop, at the church picnic, lying in bed late at night, they kept replaying. He hadn’t had to worry. She’d thought of little but him. And the future.

A.J. was fairly certain that she and Blake were headed down a serious path. Serious enough to end in marriage. She also suspected that things would have moved more quickly in that direction if fear hadn’t held her back. She was immensely grateful for Blake’s patience as she dealt with her issues, and for his understanding that those issues had nothing to do with her feelings for him. They were born of trauma and tragedy and pain, and the overwhelming fear of loss. But she’d never forgotten the words Blake had once said to her when she’d talked of those fears. He’d simply asked, “Does it hurt any less to be alone?”

Slowly, as Blake had filled her life with warmth and laughter and caring, she’d found the answer to that question. The fear hadn’t gone away completely; she didn’t know if it ever would. But she did know that Blake had become an important part of her life. In fact, she could no longer imagine her life without him.

So she’d begun to think of the future they might share. And to make some tentative plans. And to eagerly wait for him to return.

The bell at the entrance jangled. A.J. looked up…and stopped breathing. Blake stood in the doorway, overnight case in hand, looking weary, worn—and utterly wonderful. She smiled at him, and his intimate answering smile warmed her all the way to her toes. And did funny things to her voice when she could finally find it. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.”

“Welcome back, Blake,” Nancy said.

With an obvious effort he dragged his gaze away from A.J. and looked at Nancy. “Thanks. How’s everything been here?”

“We missed you.”

“Did you?” He looked back at A.J., and his eyes darkened. Suddenly her heart lurched into a staccato beat.

Nancy nodded. “Yeah. We’ve been taking on extra hours, but I’ll be glad to get back to a more normal schedule. Eileen will be glad, too. She misses her mom.”

Blake took a closer look at A.J. There were fine lines at the corners of her eyes, and dark circles underneath. Obviously his absence had put a strain on everyone.