03 - Sworn (26 page)

We stopped at a bend in the ravine, as close as we could get to the town without revealing ourselves. The road met the curve of the forest there, giving us a good view in both directions and allowing us to watch the town, which sat on the downslope of a slight rise in the land.

“Do we have any more food?” Patience asked.

“Later,” Aren replied.

She sighed and sat on the ground with her knees tucked up against her chest.

I crouched beside her and offered a sympathetic smile. “Were you expecting this to be fun when you decided to follow us?”

Her mouth opened and closed, and her gaze flicked to the side. “Not exactly. I’m not that hungry, really.”

Aren glanced at her with narrowed eyes.

I mouthed,
What?

He shook his head and turned back to the town.

I gave Patience’s knee a reassuring squeeze and went back to stand with Aren. I found myself distracted, but managed to limit myself to only sneaking glances at him every few minutes. He didn’t seem to notice. If he had anything other than our mission on his mind, it was well hidden.

A flash of movement caught my eye far up the road, but when I turned to look, it was gone. A moment later it came again, a blotch of red and white coming over a rise in the road. I nudged Aren with my elbow and pointed. When they came into view a third time, he pulled me back into the trees until a thin screen of leaves covered us.

Six riders in red uniforms on white horses, coming quickly but not riding as though it were any sort of emergency. They passed by close enough that I picked out the flame insignia branded on their horses’ hindquarters.

“What do you think?” I asked after they passed.

Aren frowned. “I didn’t get much. There was no sense of urgency among them, so I doubt they’re here because someone spotted and recognized us. They’re here on Severn’s business, but I don’t think any of them were focusing on that. I couldn’t get anything else.”

“That’s plenty.”

He expected so much of himself. The fact that he’d caught anything while they were riding past and paying him no attention was impressive, but it would never be enough for him.

“I suppose we should eat now,” he said. “Wait until dark to get closer to town.” He pointed at a weather-beaten barn that stood a short distance from a newer, larger, red-painted one. “We can take shelter there. I haven’t seen anyone go near it yet.”

Patience grabbed my bag and dug through it, pulling out anything remotely edible she found. It wasn’t much. A little bread, dried apples, a cube of cheese that needed to have the mold scraped off. She looked up at me. “That’s it?”

“I couldn’t take more than that,” Aren answered. “And I wasn’t expecting another mouth to feed.” Patience flinched at his short tone. “We can’t risk a fire to cook meat, but I can hunt and eat as an eagle. You two share what’s there, and we’ll figure something else out for breakfast.”

And then he was gone, transformed and flapping toward the tops of the trees.

“Be careful,” I said, but it was too late for him to hear me. I supposed an eagle wouldn’t be a strange sight this close to the mountains, but local farmers wouldn’t be pleased to see one.

He can take care of himself.

Still, I couldn’t help watching the sky instead of the town and the road.

Patience ate without speaking, and we went our separate ways to take care of other business in the woods. I thought she’d have something to say when we came back to our lookout spot, but she remained silent.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yes. I am sorry for causing trouble, though. Aren’s mad, right?”

I hesitated. “He’s not pleased, but he’ll get past it. You have nothing to worry about. I’m going to take a better look at the town, if that’s all right with you.”

She nodded and picked at the cuffs of her sweater.

I climbed a sturdy oak tree that offered a decent view into the village. I watched as four of the soldiers, red dots at that distance, walked through the square, occasionally stopping to speak to people.

I climbed back down.

“Patience,” I said, “you might be exactly what we need.”

She perked up at that. “Really?”

“Absolutely. There are soldiers in town, and Aren can’t go and ask questions with them there. If Severn is taking an interest in these Darmish people, he probably knows we might be here. I shouldn’t risk it, either. They’ll know what I look like. But you...”

Patience chewed her lower lip for a moment, then smiled. “I’ll do it.”

I smiled back, but my stomach tightened. This was a dangerous mission for someone so young. “Can you think of a good story as to why you’re there?”

She looked insulted. “Please. Did I not grow up with actors? Am I not one myself?”

I laughed quietly. “Just be careful. We have no idea what’s actually going on down there.”

Aren emerged from the trees, buttoning his shirt as he walked. I tried not to stare. The distance between us, real or imagined, only made me want him more.

I explained the plan.

“Good enough,” he said. “We should get closer first, and wait for morning. If there’s trouble, we need to be able to get her out of there.”

Patience seemed pleased that he was concerned about her safety, but I noticed that Aren wasn’t speaking directly to her.

We waited until after dark, then crept toward the old barn. The sky had clouded over in patches, providing occasional cover from the moonlight, but the near-total darkness and unfamiliar terrain made for slow going. By the time we reached the decrepit structure it felt like we’d been moving for hours.

We slipped in through the half-open double doors and climbed straight up to the loft, though my legs screamed in protest. The barn was empty save for a few bats nesting among the rafters. I suspected there would be more returning by morning, and shuddered. We found a relatively clean corner and set our things down.

I had a hard time containing a groan as I sat and stretched my legs out in front of me.

“You all right?” Aren asked, and sat beside me.

“Just sore from trying not to fall off a flying horse.”

“Anything I can do?”

Patience mumbled something, and I looked to the corner where she’d already set her bed up in a patch of faint moonlight. She yawned and rolled over, turning her back to us.

I spread my blankets out and lay on my back. “My legs are really stiff.”

Aren moved through the darkness, and a moment later his hands were on my thighs, pressing hard. I gasped. “Ouch.”

“You want me to go easier on you?” The slight challenge in his voice made me shiver.

“No. It’s fine.”

He worked in silence, pressing and kneading. I gritted my teeth through the sore spots, and my muscles relaxed even as my heartbeat insisted on doing the opposite. He bent my knee and pressed it to my chest, stretching out the stiffness in my backside, first on one side and then the other.

“Better?”

I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see that in the dark. “Yes. Thank you. Anything I can do for you?”

He chuckled, and the sound made my heart jump. He lay down beside me and ran his fingers over the outside of my jacket, then opened the buttons and slipped his hand inside. I bit back a gasp.

“Nothing I’d want Patience to wake up in the middle of.”

I shifted to face him and ran my fingertips lightly over his face, picturing every beautiful feature in my mind. I moved closer, placing my mouth next to his ear. “I wish we were alone.”

“It’s no accident that we’re not.”

“What do you mean?”

He pushed himself up on his elbow and leaned toward Patience’s corner, where she snored softly. “It doesn’t make sense that she just decided to follow us.”

“Have you... you know. Peeked?”

He laid his head down again, and I tucked my head under his chin. Though human now, he still carried the scent of the sky with him, and I inhaled deeply. “I’ve been struggling with that,” he admitted. “She’s no enemy, and I said I wouldn’t use my skills against allies. But I couldn’t help thinking that there was more to this than she’d said. I tried earlier, just to see if she was telling the truth.”

“And?”

“You’re not angry?”

“I trust your judgment.”

He squeezed me tight. “Thank you. And to answer your question, I couldn’t tell.”

“What do you mean? It’s not magic. She doesn’t have any.” If she had, she might not have suffered such permanent effects from Wardrel’s attack. No magic that I knew of could have regenerated a missing eye, but her burns would have healed better. Magic would have interfered with Aren’s ability to see her thoughts, but otherwise...

“Someone told her to guard her mind against me, and I have a good idea who. I could break through the wall if I tried, and easily, but I don’t want to do that to her without good reason.”

I kissed the stubbled skin at his jaw. “Thank you for that. So who would have—oh. Your father.”

“Right. And if Patience is working for him now...”

“You make it sound like she’s a traitor. She would never do that.” But when I thought back on how badly she wanted to be useful and save the world, and how gullible I’d been at her age, I felt less certain.

He didn’t answer.

“Aren, she’s only a child.”

He sighed. “I know. And she seems to mean well. But if he’s using her against us, against me, what am I supposed to do? She’s lying to us. Spying on us. That is betrayal, Rowan, especially when she’s supposed to be your friend. She’s a child, but that doesn’t mean she’s innocent.”

My heart went cold. “You wouldn’t hurt her, right?”

“I don’t want to. She deserves it, or at least to have the fear of the gods put into her. It’s far less punishment than I’d have had for betraying my family at her age. I’ve seen people beaten within an inch of their lives for less and thrown into a cell to rot after they gave up their secrets.” He was silent for a few moments, then sighed. “We’ll see what happens when she comes back tomorrow. One way or another, I’ll have the truth from her.”

Anger radiated from him, evident in his tense muscles and overly-controlled breathing.

“Are you more angry with her, or your father?”

His breath came out in a long, slow rush. “My father. I wish I knew why he did this. It might be a test to see what I’ll do with her, to find out how soft I’ve become. It may also be to keep me on a leash. He doesn’t want me wandering too far.”

“Not with me, right?”

Aren’s fingers traced circles over my back beneath my jacket. “No. Not with you.”

My eyes had already fallen closed, though I wanted nothing more than to stay awake with him while I had the chance. I wanted to ask whether he was thinking about following his father, accepting the life that was being offered to him. I wanted to voice my objection to him marrying and having children with a bunch of other women, and found I couldn’t. Thinking it was bad enough. I was too tired to speak it, and too afraid to hear the answer.

We’d sworn we would do everything in our power to be together, that nothing would separate us. But perhaps fate or the gods didn’t care what we wanted. What were the promises of two people when compared with the needs of the entire world?

He sat up. “I should change so I can keep my ears open tonight.”

That meant no shared dreams, and no conversation in them.
Probably for the best,
I decided. I never got much rest when we dreamed together, and I did need it. I just hoped I wouldn’t be interrupted by nightmares again.

I woke every time Patience snorted or rolled over, every time returning bats scrambled in through the cracks in the walls, every time the wind whistled. Half-way through the night it started to rain, just a soft pattering of droplets on the roof. The sound lulled me into a deeper sleep, but only until the roof sprung a leak that soaked my head. I dragged my damp bedding to a drier spot, but didn’t get much sleep after that.

By sunrise, such as it was in the cloudy sky, I was more exhausted than I’d been when I laid down.

Patience woke before me, and made her way slowly down the ladder. She returned a few minutes later. “I’ll go now,” she said. “Sneak out, get some distance, come back to town by the road. Let them think I was walking all night. That way nobody will come poking around here. I’ll see if I can bring anything back for you to eat later.”

I watched through a crack in the wall as she made her way through the fields, occasionally bending over and then touching her hand to her mouth.

“Berries,” Aren said. I hadn’t heard him land, or change and dress. “You could go out and get some.”

“Probably best if I don’t risk it,” I said. “If she’s spotted, she can come up with a story. If someone sees me and figures out who I am, it won’t be good for any of us.” My stomach objected with a loud grumble, but I ignored it. I’d been hungry before and survived it. “What are you going to do?”

He looked out at the gray sky. “I don’t know. I could scout, keep an eye on things, but they might be watching for me. I think we’re stuck.”

“Good.” I took a deep breath and prepared myself to ask the questions I couldn’t put off any longer. “Tell me everything your father doesn’t want me to know. No holding back this time. Everything about your laws, about exactly what your father fears from me and from our relationship, how bad things are for him, and for you now that he can’t hold the throne. All of it. No secrets.”

Deep lines creased his forehead. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. If he knew you knew everything, it would be dangerous for you. It’s bad enough that I’ve told you a little.”

“Would he believe you if you claimed we hadn’t talked about it after you disobeyed his orders and stole off into the sunrise with me?”

“True enough.”

So he told me. It was worse than I had suspected, and went far beyond me getting in the way of Aren taking his place in his family or a small concern over my loyalties. He told me what Ulric had said about me aspiring to take the throne to protect my people. It sounded ridiculous when Aren said it, but I imagined the words coming from Ulric’s mouth, the conviction with which he always spoke, and heard how believable it could be. I also remembered the look in the king’s eyes when he’d thought I might scheme against him with Griselda, and how he’d dissuaded me from practicing my skills since we crossed the border.