1 Dewitched (17 page)

“Jane, I’m going home tomorrow! Shrink and Grimm think I’m ready to start my post-rehab apprenticeship.” 

My heart sinks like a cannonball. I should feel happy for her. But I don’t. And, it’s not jealousy. It’s sadness. An awful eat-your-heart-up-alive sadness. First Elz. Now, Winnie. I’m losing another friend.

“That’s wonderful!” Finding my voice, I give her a perfunctory hug. “What will you be doing?” 

“Shrink won’t tell me until the very last minute.”

My eyes grow watery. “I’m going to miss you, Winnie.” 

“The same,” says Winnie, wiping away my tears. “You’ll be released soon too.”

The tears keep coming. I haven’t cried so much in one day since the loss of my child.

“Will you come to my birthday party after dinner?”

Birthday party?
That’s odd. She’s never mentioned an upcoming birthday.

“It’s not really a birthday party,” she continues. “It’s more of a going away party, but there’s a birthday cake because you’re starting your life anew.” 

 “Of course, I’ll be there.” I force a smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

***

After dinner, we all gather around a mammoth, candle-lit chocolate cake the Badass Fairies have baked in honor of Winnie and sing “Happy Birthday.” A big smile spreads across every face in the banquet hall, except Sasperilla’s

“I should be getting out here, not her!” she snivels.

The day she gets out of Faraway is the day I’m checking myself back in. That is, assuming I make it out of here.

“Make a wish, Winnie, and blow out the candles,” says Fanta.

 With a smile, Winnie closes her eyes for a few seconds. When she re-opens them, she inhales deeply and then extinguishes the candles with one big breath.

Cheers and applause. She’s radiant. I bet she wished for something good for her kids.

Fairweather cuts the cake and then hands out a slice to everyone.

 “No thank you,” says Winnie with all the will power she can muster.

 I notice how baggy her dress is. She’s lost a ton of weight since her husband’s visit.

“Winnie, you’ve got to try it!” I insist. “Have a bite of mine.” 

She caves in. “Okay, just one teeny weeny bite.” 

I feed her a forkful of my cake. Then I take a bite. The two of us moan in ecstasy. I’m reminded of the night she, Elz, and I devoured her secret stash of chocolate. The memory makes me smile wistfully.

Sasperilla loiters over to us. “Winifred, I have a going away present for you.”  Smirking, she thrusts her plate of cake at Winnie.

 “And I have one for you,” says Winnie.

Before I can blink an eye, she smooshes the cake plate into the hollows of skinny bitch’s smirking face.

Sasperilla shrieks, unable to get her chocolate-covered jaw to close.

“I’ve always wanted to do that!” grins Winnie.

God, I’m going to miss her.

CHAPTER 18

By breakfast, Winnie’s already gone. I’ve been spared a tear-fest.

“You look like you’ve lost your best friend,” says Pinocchio.

“I have.”
Two of them,
I add silently.

He takes my hands in his.

“Thanks for being there for me in group yesterday,” I say.

 “The same to you. That was a pretty heavy session. I’m glad I came out. Grimm told me I’ll be getting out of here pretty soon.” 

Now, my new best friend is on his way out? With a heavy heart, I wander through The Enchanted Garden, aimlessly gathering fruit. 

 “Yo, Ho, Ho!”

I whirl around and find Hook standing behind me. He stabs a cherry I’ve picked with the sharp tip of his hook, then licks it with his tongue. Disgust rises in my chest.

“I came clean about my drinking.” He swallows the cherry whole. “I’m going back to Lalaland at the end of the week.” 

What! He should be going straight to hell.

“So,
Jane
, what about it?” he says, moving closer to me.

“What about what?” I move away.

“You and me. It’s your last chance.” 

 “You and I belong in Neverland.”

Hooks smirks. What part of  “never” doesn’t he understand?

Before I can pivot away, he hooks me by my neck and yanks me toward him.

“You’re hurting me! Get that claw of yours off me!” I scream.

Hook releases me and edges away. “I get it. It’s my hand, isn’t it?” 

 I actually feel a tinge of pity for him.

“No, Hook, it’s not your hand,” I say, more gently. “It’s just that I’m not that into you.” 

 “You don’t need to explain.” He storms off.

Some men obviously can’t take rejection.

***

After morning meditation, I trudge up to Shrink’s office, feeling blue every step of the way. Shrink flies in, full of energy, and circles around me.

“I heard you had a major breakthrough in group yesterday,” she says brightly.

“I suppose. I admitted I was addicted to beauty.” 

“How do you feel?” 

Should I tell her depressed, lonely, or confused? Or all of the above?

“Winnie’s gone,” I find myself saying instead.

“How do you feel about that?” 

“I don’t know.” 

 “Do you feel jealous?” 

 “No, I’m happy for her. She deserves to go home to her family. She’s a good person.” 

“That’s a healthy reaction. I must say, however, that your look belies your happiness.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Jane, you seem sad.” 

“I am sad!” My voice rises. “I miss her. Is that okay?”

 “It’s more than okay. It’s excellent. You’ve connected to another person.” 

 She’s right. I’ve also connected to Elz, Pinocchio, Rump, and, in some way, Hook too.

“What’s special about Winifred?” asks Shrink.

“She cared about me. We had fun together.” 

“Did you care about her?” 

“Yes, of course, I cared about her.” I’m getting irritable. Where is she going with these stupid questions?

“Remember, that’s what friendship’s all about. Caring. Being there for each other in good times as well as bad.”

My mind flashes back to Winnie caring for me when I was sick. Other memories drift through my head…Elz fixing my bloody mess of a finger…Pinocchio standing up for me in group… Rump telling Sasperilla off.

Shrink hovers over me. “Jane, if I asked you today to write down the answer to this question--Do you have a best friend?--what would it be?” 

I’ve answered that question before. On that bogus admissions form.

“Can there be two answers?”

Shrink’s face tenses up. “Only if you have to.”

“Then, Winifred and Elzmerelda.” 

Shrink’s face relaxes. “That’s wonderful, Jane. I thought for a minute you were going to say Winifred and your ‘magic’ mirror.” 

It takes a moment for her words to sink in. My mirror, magic or not, is no longer my best friend. I hardly miss it.

“Will I ever get to see them again?” I ask.

“Yes, Jane.”

In my next life, I suppose.

“Start packing your bag. You’ll be going back to Lalaland tomorrow morning. Both Dr. Grimm and I believe you’ve made significant progress here and are ready to continue your recovery there.” 

 
I’m leaving Faraway?
Bolting up, I gaze at Shrink with a mixture of shock, disbelief, and pure joy.

 “But I still have evil thoughts.” Wait! Why am I telling her that when I’ve just gotten this great news? 

“Give me an example.”

 “Sometimes, I want to strangle Sasperilla.” I don’t dare tell her about my pixie juice fantasy.

“Many patients have said they’ve wanted to kill me.” So, I’m not alone. “But there’s a big difference between thinking evil and doing evil.” 

I listen intently.

“Everyone has evil thoughts. Even I do.” 

“Like what?”  I ask, intrigued.

“I’d love to put my show-off sister Tink to shame once and for all and…Enough about me! We’re here to talk about you.” 

She pauses reflectively. “Jane, do you think you’ve changed?”

 I’d better be careful how I answer her questions. The last thing I want to do is blow my chance of getting out of here. I nod. “Yes, I feel like I’ve turned a corner.” 

“No, Jane, you haven’t turned a corner.” 

Oh no! I’ve blown it.

“You’ve become a whole new person. Someone who has shown compassion and kindness; someone who has demonstrated the meaning of friendship; someone who has felt both joy and sadness; someone who has even saved a life.” 

Yes, hers! My skin tingles. I
have
done all these things!

Shrink smiles at me warmly. “Jane, you
are
ready.”

The chime sounds.

“Time’s up for today, Jane. I’ll see you here tomorrow. It’ll be our last session together.” 

Shrink zooms out of her office, covering me, as usual, in a pouf of fairy dust. But today, it feels magical. I can’t believe it! I’m going home! To my castle! At last!

***

On my way to group after lunch, Hook grabs me in the corridor and pins me against the wall. After I’ve rejected him a gazillion times--even a few hours ago--why won’t he give up? At least, I won’t have to put up with him much longer. I’m going home in less than twenty-four hours.

“Come on, Jane. You know you want me,” he says, pressing his chest hard against mine.

“Hook, the only thing I want is to go to group.  Don’t make me late for my last session.”

He flicks his tongue at me.

I’ve had it. With all I’ve got, I kick him in the shin. 

Wincing, he backs away.

“Why did you do that?” he asks, massaging the dent I’ve left on his shiny black boot.

“I hate you.” 

“You love me.” He winces again. 

 
Suffer, swineface!
I march down the hall to group with Hook hobbling behind me. I’m going to share again today. It’s time to tell everyone what a pompous asshole he is. They deserve to know.

When I get to group, the door’s closed. Damn! They’ve started without me.

Tentatively, I open the door.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Everyone’s there singing on top of their lungs. My fellow inmates, Grimm, Shrink, and the Badass Fairies. Even Gulliver and the two hair fairies. I never thought I’d ever be happy to see them again.

I feel bad I was so mean to Hook. He was just trying to bide time so I wouldn’t blow my surprise party.

“Hook, you’re okay,” I say with a humble smile.

He shoots a smile back at me. It’s not one of his smarmy smirks. This one’s genuine. Almost sentimental. Yes, we’ve been through a lot. I’ll miss him in some strange way.

I gape at my cake, perched on a chair in the middle of our circle. It’s a towering confection frosted in a bright yellow. For the first time, that color is beautiful to me. A dozen or so flickering candles--all colors of the rainbow--sit on the top layer.

“Dear, blow out your candles and make a wish,” says Flossie.

I behold the cake. No one has ever baked one in my honor. My heart swells with emotion. I want it to last forever. Finally, with one big breath, I extinguish the candles. A head-to-toe tingly sensation spreads through my body. I’ve been reborn.

Grimm slices the cake. “Who would like to share?” Ha! He’s trying to be funny.

For the remainder of the session, we feast on the scrumptious cake. We exchange hugs and “I’ll miss you’s.” How close we’ve all become in such a short time, old inmates and new ones alike. Everyone wishes me good luck, except Sasperilla.

“Can someone please tell me why she’s getting out and I’m not?” she sulks. No one’s listening.

Rump teeters over to me. “I-I made this for you.” 

It’s another woven name bracelet. This time it says “JANE.” He carefully puts it on my wrist.

Tears trickle down my face. “It’s beautiful, Rump. I’ll never take it off.” I bend down to hug my little hero. He blushes. 

I’m going to miss my Faraway family. I really am. I’ll let you in on a secret. I wished for everyone here to live happily ever after. Except maybe Sasperilla.

***

When I return to my room in the evening, giddy with happiness, I discover I have a new roommate. She’s lanky like me, with sinewy arms, intense violet eyes, and raven black hair that’s cropped as short as mine. Slumped on the edge of Elz’s bed, she looks glum.

 “Hi,” I say cheerfully. I’m not going to let anyone get me down, now that I’m going home. “I’m Jane. Who are you?” 

“Gothel.” Her voice is deep and husky, almost like a man’s. She runs a hand through her hair and grimaces.

“Lice?” I ask.

“Hell no,” she snarls. “Two frickin’ fairies butchered my hair like Rapunzel’s. They wanted to give me a dose of my own medicine.” 

I’m not up for hearing her life story. “Don’t worry. It’ll grow back.” 

She lets out a scathing snort.

“How’s your first day going otherwise?”

“It sucked.”

“Don’t worry. It gets better.”
Honestly.

“Dragon dung!”

I wonder if she knows I’m getting out of here tomorrow. I’ll break the news to her in the morning.

“Sweet dreams,” I say, climbing into bed.

“Fuck you.”

Whoof! She’s got a long road to recovery.

CHAPTER 19

 “Good morning, birdies,” I chirp as they pull down my covers. “I’m going home today!”

I don’t need caffeine to get me out of bed. I’m pumped up enough.

 “Lalalala,” I sing on top of my lungs. It’s my last day at Faraway.

“Shut up!” grumbles my new roommate Gothel. Her head is buried under her pillow. I don’t blame her. My singing is painful.

“Why are you so friggin’ cheerful?” she asks, finally getting out of bed.

It’s time to tell her. “It’s my last day here. I’m going back to Lalaland this morning.” 

“Go to hell.” She swats at the birds. “And take these freaks with beaks with you.”

I know just how she feels. Trapped and hopeless. “Don’t worry,” I say. “You’ll get out of here one day too.”