1 Straight to Hell (21 page)

“Me neither,” I admitted.  “She’s very good at keeping secrets.  We’ll have to keep an eye on her.”  And I was so glad that I had someone else to help me keep watch.

He smiled.  “Can do.”  He glanced at his watch.  “Okay, time for work.  But before I go.”  He dug in his pocket for his wallet and took out some bills which he placed on the table.  “This is for food and rent and stuff.  I hope it’s enough.  I know I eat like a horse.”

“I can’t accept that!”  And just when I thought he couldn’t become any more wonderful.  “Seriously, Tommy.  I’m fine.”

He refused to take the money back.  “You’re not fine.  You haven’t worked since Christmas, am I right?  And Jas told me all about the fire, and the insurance company, and your ex-husband.  Then there was the washing machine, and I know that last week you needed to buy Grace a new winter coat.  Seriously, Lil, I don’t know how you do it.”

I used my demon, of course.  I’d sweet talked the clerk out of Grace’s coat, and I’d been ripping off the grocery store every week.  And, after I’d made a trip downtown to see a customer service representative, my electric and gas bills disappeared as well.  In fact, all of my bills were now covered thanks to my succubus.  The more I used my demon, the easier it was to depend on her.

But now, looking at Tommy’s earnest face, I was deeply ashamed of myself.  While I’d been stealing everything my succubus could lay her hands on, he’d been working hard to earn the money to pay for his room and board.  It actually caused me physical pain to think that he admired me even a little bit.

“I’m not taking that money back,” he said.  Then he winked at me and left me alone with my guilty conscience.

I decided the best way to deal with the previous night’s debacle was to meet with Miss Spry and admit my failure.  There was no use hiding since she’d learn about it soon enough.  If she didn’t know already.

I showered and dressed, did my hair, and even put on makeup.  Not because I wanted to impress Miss Spry, but because it allowed me to postpone the meeting that I dreaded so much.

I was slipping on my shoes when I felt a delicate tremor in the air.  Not a breeze, exactly, but a shifting of some kind.  This had to be an otherworldly visitor.  “Come on out,” I said.  “I know you’re here.”

I’d expected William, but instead, it was Mr. Clerk who materialized from next to the dresser.

“Are you spying on me?”

He straightened the knot in his paisley tie and refused to meet my eyes.  “Only because Miss Spry asked me to.  She wants to know what you’re up to.”  He frowned.  “And it’s a good thing I did because I saw you and William on the beach last night.”

I glared at him, embarrassed and angry.  “Well, if you were watching us that closely, then you’ll know that nothing happened.”  I grabbed my bag from the bed, ready to storm out of the room.  “Besides, I thought you were over him.”

“So did I,” Mr. Clerk admitted.  He sat on the edge of my bed.

“He’s a hard man to get over.”  I sat next to him.

“Impossible,” Mr. Clerk agreed.

We both sighed.

“So are we still friends,” I asked.

He looked offended.  “We were never friends.  There are no friends in Hell.”  Then he softened.  “But I would miss having someone to watch Real Housewives with.”

That was good enough for me.  I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.  “Wish me luck.  I’m going to go see Miss Spry.”

“I’m afraid it will take more than luck,” he said.  “She’s not happy about last night.  Not happy at all.”

This didn’t come as a surprise, but I’d certainly hoped for better news.

I paced back and forth in the hall outside of Miss Spry’s office for a few minutes, gathering my courage.  Then, I knocked.

“Come in.”

I entered and meekly stood in front of her desk where she was sitting and writing in a ledger with a fountain pen.  “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

She looked up sharply.  “Would that be for keeping company with William or ruining your assignment?”

I winced.  So Mr. Clerk had already filled her in.  “Both.  But on the bright side, I told William to get lost, and my assignment jumped out of the window.”  The thought of it pained me, but I was sure it must have thrilled her.  “That was what you wanted him to do, right?”

She slammed her pen down, leaving a dark ink blot on the pages of the ledger.  “Yes, he killed himself.  But I wanted him to do it in a state of regret, humiliation, and anger which would have landed him
here
with me.  Your little stunt, however, made him repent.  Moments before he jumped off that balcony, he gave himself to the other side.  So guess where he is right now?”  She jabbed the pen into its holder.  “You cost me a very good bookkeeper, Lilith.”

“I’m sorry.  I really am.”

Her thick eyebrows knitted together.  “No, you’re not.  Not really.”  She knew me so well.  “In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if you really do work for
Him.
”

“I swear I’m not doing that,” I said.  “Cross my heart and hope to, er…”

“I get the point,” she said drily.

“Give me another assignment,” I said.  “I swear I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Really?”  She leaned back in her chair and tugged on her pearls.  “All right, then.  Get rid of your family.”

I gaped at her, too surprised to speak.

“Turn your daughter over to your ex-husband, hand your niece back to her mother, and send your step-sister and that metal-faced boy packing.  All their love is poisoning  you.  It’s making you weak, and it’s why you can’t properly do your job.”

Although Miss Spry hadn’t invited me to sit, I sank down in a chair.  My stomach clenched and my mouth was dry.  “Give up my family?  My daughter?  I can’t do that!”

“You just said that you’d do anything I told you to.”  Her eyes were cruel.

“Yes, I know, but…”

“And you do want to do your job, don’t you?”

“Yes.”  Even I could hear how uncertain I sounded.

“I want you to be my succubus, Lilith Straight.”  She softened her expression.  “Technically, you’ve already broken your contract a number of times, so I have the right to move on to the next in line, but I want you.  Not only is your replacement not ready to take over the position, I have a feeling that you’ll make a fine temptress.  But that won’t happen unless you stop letting your human side trump your demon one.”

“How about anything
other
than that,” I said.  “I’ll tempt a senator, or try to start a war.”

“Those things generally happen without our help.”

“Please!  I can’t give up my daughter.”

Miss Spry picked up a little, silver bell from her desk and rang it.  Immediately, Mr. Clerk stuck his head into the office.  “Send in my next appointment.”

“Of course.”  He disappeared.

“Miss Spry, I’m not joking about this.  I’ll do anything you want other than leave my daughter.”

“I know you’re not joking, Lilith.  Which is why I am no longer going to waste my breath trying to convince you.”  The door behind me opened.  “Carrie,” she said stiffly.  “I have one last assignment before you’re released.”

Turning around, I saw my mother standing in the office.

She looked like she had the last time I’d seen her alive.  Unruly, naturally gray hair that hung to her waist, no makeup, and a henna tattoo of a butterfly on her chest.  She wore a red, hand-crocheted sweater in which the sleeves were too short and the waist too long, and a ruffled skirt that fell to her ankles.  Like always, she smelled of sandalwood.

I rubbed my face, like a child who can’t believe her eyes.  “Mom?”

“In the flesh, dear.  Or nearly so.”

I nearly tripped over the chair in my haste to reach her.  Not once in my life had I been as happy to see my mother as I was then.  I hugged her, bending over to press my cheek against hers.  She was reassuringly solid.

“Don’t cry,” she said, patting my shoulder.  “Whatever you do, you can’t cry.”

I nodded, sucking in my cheeks to keep my tears at bay.

“Carrie, you know what I expect of you,” Miss Spry said.  Her eyes were seconds away from going hot.

My mother straightened her spine, reaching her full five feet.  “I no longer work for you, Helen…” Miss Spry glowered “…but I’ll talk to Lilith just the same since I actually agree with you on this.”  My mother took my hand.  “Let’s you and me go for a walk.”

Mr. Clerk wheeled in a tea tray.  “I thought we could all use a cup.”

My mother took his hands in hers and leaned up to kiss his cheeks.  “Patrick, you always were such a dear.  I hope you’re treating my daughter well.”

He shot an anxious look at Miss Spry.  “I try.”

“See that you do,” my mother said.  She dropped his hands and together we walked out of the room.

Although we should have entered the hallway outside Miss Spry’s office, we were instead on an unpaved path that ran between a row of bare-limbed trees.  Dead leaves scuttled in front of us, and overhead, clouds clawed at the moon.  I looked around, confused.  “Where are we?”

“In the same place we were a moment ago, but this time you’re looking at it from my perspective.”  She took my arm.  “The otherworld is very malleable.  We can make it look any way we like.  I believe your influence is over there.”  She pointed, and in the distance, I saw the strange waiting room I’d ended up in the first time I’d come to Hell.  And sure enough, Tommy’s sister remained on the couch, wrapped in her silent grief.

I couldn’t bear the sight of her, so I guided my mother in the opposite direction.  “I missed you,” I said.

“I saw you crying at the funeral.”

She was a head shorter than me, and with our linked arms, walking was difficult.  Even so, I kept hold of her, afraid she’d leave if I didn’t.

“I also saw that awful little man from that dreadful band,” she said, considering.  “He even had the nerve to say he missed me. 
He
missed
me
!  As if he never even left me stranded in customs at the Belize airport with that box of exotic birds and that makeup case full of dirty pictures.”

I let the comment pass by.  Over the years, I’ve learned that it is simply not in my best interest to ask questions.

“And I watched you meet William, too.”  She gave me a devilish smile.  “Handsome man, isn’t he?  Certainly better looking than your Dr. Ted.”

My mother had never liked Ted.  Now, of course, I understood why.  “I don’t know what to think about William,” I confessed.  “One minute, I want to let him sweep me off my feet, and the next I want to beat his brains in.”

She laughed.  “He likes to keep women off balance.”

“Even you?”

She shook her head.  “We never had that kind of chemistry.  William and I were good friends, but that’s all.  No, I much preferred Simon.”

My stepdad over William Darcy?  I couldn’t imagine it.  I loved my dad and everything, but even thirty years younger, I couldn’t imagine him competing with an incubus.

As if reading my mind, my mother said, “Yes, Lilith, Simon was very handsome.  And kind and generous.”