Authors: Michelle Hughes,Amp,Karl Jones
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
He was sure if he could
just get her to calm down she would realize he would never have hurt her; that
it was meant to be something she would enjoy.
Leah slipped her dress
over her head, not taking her eyes off Rhett for any longer than was absolutely
necessary as she fumbled for her shoes and pulled them on, without bothering to
locate her socks. She didn’t trust him, didn’t think she’d ever be able to
again; anyone who could do what he had was not someone she wanted to be around.
Grabbing up her purse
she made for the door, skirting the room and staying as far away from him as
she could. She kept her eyes on him the whole way so she ended up backing
toward the door. “Don’t fucking call me, or ever try to get in touch with me
again,” she told him. “I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again, you
fucking freak!” She finally turned her back on him when she reached the doorway
and stepped through it. Her heart was broken beyond repair and she wished she
had the strength to kick his ass like he deserved.
“Leah, sweetheart, be
reasonable, you can’t drive like this.” He caught up with her just before the
stairs and took her by the arm, turning her back to face him. He couldn’t
believe how horribly wrong the night had gone and the thought of her walking
out of his life was tearing him up.
“Don’t you dare call me
sweetheart, you sick son of a bitch.” Pulling her arm from his grasp Leah poked
him in the chest with her finger. “You seriously need some fucking help, you’re
mental, Rhett Hammond.”
Turning away she took
off running as tears streamed down her face, nearly falling in her haste to
descend the stairs. If he tried to stop her she swore she’d grab the nearest
object she could find and smash it over his demented head.
Rhett followed, but
didn’t try to stop her again. He was terrified she was going to hurt herself in
her current emotional state. She didn’t look back and he could only assume she
didn’t know he was following her. He wanted to beg her to let him drive her
home, but realized she was past any rational thought.
When he saw her get
behind the wheel of the canary yellow sports car he had given her and speed off
he did the only thing he could think of, he hurried to the garage and got into
one of his own cars to give chase. He slowed down once he caught up to her and
from that point he merely kept her in sight, wanting to make sure she made it
safely to wherever she was going.
Leah knew she shouldn’t
be driving the way she was, it was reckless and dangerous, but she didn’t care,
all she could think about just then was getting home. The clock on the
dashboard told her it was past three in the morning, idly she realized that
meant the streets would be emptier, making her reckless driving a little less
dangerous.
Turning on the radio
she cranked up the volume, attempting to drive away thoughts of how Rhett had
betrayed her in the worst way possible. Blinking away the tears that blurred
her vision she did her best to focus on the road ahead.
How she made it to the
condo building without crashing she would never know, but she did, and parking
the car she ran inside. Wishing that Janie was there she let herself into the
condo, locked the door behind her and dropped to the floor, where she cried
helplessly.
Seeing that Leah had
arrived home safely, for which he was grateful given the way she had been
driving, Rhett turned his car around and left the parking lot of her new condo
complex. He had kicked himself mentally for what he had put her through the
whole time he had been following her, and he continued to do so during the
drive home.
He had played through
the scenario with other women in the past, but only after being very sure that
they would be alright with it. He had debated whether to go through with the
faux rape all evening before heading home, and several times he had decided to
abandon it. In the end though something had made him continue with his plan,
and until then he hadn’t known why he did.
After thinking about it
during the drive there he thought he had figured it out. A part of him had
wanted to punish Leah for the feelings she had stirred within him, feelings
that threatened to turn his world upside down, feelings that he was unprepared
to deal with.
Now he realized that
what he had done was stupid, more than that, it was the single stupidest thing
he had ever done, or was ever likely to do. Worse than that, he now knew that
he loved Leah, and all he could think was that the knowledge had come to him
too late to stop him pushing things so far that he might never see her again.
“Stupid ass stubborn son
of a bitch!” he swore aloud, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel. “I
wouldn’t blame her if she called the police.” Expecting the worse as a result
of his foolishness he headed home to prepare himself should Leah decide to do
as he feared.
21
Nights of sorrow
Leah remained curled up
on the floor just inside the condo, weeping; she didn’t have the strength of
will to get up. As tears streamed down her face to spill onto the carpet
beneath her she found herself replaying each night with Rhett in her mind, it
was like watching a horror movie when she couldn’t find the remote control to
stop it.
Her heart ached as she
realized that Rhett had never truly given a damn about her, he’d made her
believe he did but Janie had been right, he didn’t. She’d never been a violent
person, right then though she wanted to rip his balls off and shove them down
his throat. At the same time she wanted to run back to him and beg him to take
away the horrible emptiness that made her feel like nothing would ever be right
in her life again.
Why did she have to
fall in love with the one man in this world that was so screwed up he could
never give her what she needed? Was she so fucked up that she could only find
passion with a demented asshole whose idea of a good time was to hurt people,
and who only knew how to show affection by destroying her mentally?
Lost in her own mental
hell she didn’t notice the arrival of her best friend, she was aware of nothing
as she sobbed, attempting to wash away the misery that filled her.
Janie and David walked
into the condo laughing, having had a great evening, only to be silenced by the
sight of Leah curled up on the floor, sobbing. She was so absorbed in her
misery she didn’t hear them come in; she didn’t even hear them when they asked
her what was wrong.
Leah didn’t react to
their presence until David lifted her into his arms; when he did that she fought
him like a wild animal, desperate to be free. Finally he had to set her down
again, just where he had picked her up from. She didn’t calm down, even
slightly, until Janie slid to the floor next to her and laid her friend’s head
in her lap, stroking her hair gently.
David had no idea what
had caused Leah’s misery, but he knew she had been at Rhett’s so he rang his
friend to find out what the hell had happened between them. It didn’t take
Rhett long to recount his foolishness, though he was initially reluctant to do
so.
Always before David had
considered his partner and friend a sensible person, if a little extreme in his
application of the Dom/Sub lifestyle, but what he heard just then left him
wondering about his mental state.
When he was told the
state his stunt had left Leah in Rhett insisted on coming over, despite David’s
insistence that he stay away, that his presence could only make things worse.
David knew Rhett was not one to be ordered around, and even after all the years
they had known each other he wasn’t inclined to listen to advice, no matter how
sensible.
Eventually David had to
threaten his friend with the police in order to convince him to stay away. He
was half tempted to call them anyway, seeing the state Leah was in, but decided
to wait.
Disgusted with the
situation, but satisfied that his friend wasn’t going to turn up unexpectedly,
David hung up on Rhett and immediately dialed another number. Knowing what had
happened he realized that the best thing he could do for Leah was call a friend
from the dungeon scene.
His friend was a
psychiatrist, which made her the obvious choice to call for help.
Sylvia, the
psychiatrist, made it to the condo in just under an hour, responding hastily to
David’s urgent plea for assistance. She had seen many things in her profession,
but the state of the young woman she had been called to see shocked her.
“I think someone needs
to start talking,” she said, infuriated by Leah’s state. Not only was she
infuriated she was perplexed, especially after listening to David recount the
scene as Rhett had explained it to him.
As a psychiatrist she
had seen rape victims respond as Leah was during her emergency room visits, but
she had never known a lifestyle person to respond with such psychosis. “I have
to admit I am mystified by her response. Wasn’t this scene discussed in
contracts?” Sylvia asked.
Janie, who was still
holding Leah in her arms and stroking her hair like a child, spoke up. “She was
new to the lifestyle. She was actually a virgin until she and Rhett first met.
They had decided to use safe words instead of a contract until Leah knew more
about what her limits were.”
“So am I to assume he
took a complete innocent, not just an innocent in our lifestyle, but one with
no sexual experience whatsoever, and threw her straight into something like
this?” She couldn’t believe that someone as experienced in the lifestyle as
Rhett Hammond would do something like that, it was beyond her understanding.
She had thought he had more sense than to do something so stupid, and more
importantly she’d thought he only got involved with people who were already
part of the lifestyle.
Janie nodded; it was
only the need to remain calm as she soothed her friend that kept her temper at
bay. If it hadn’t been for Leah’s presence she would have let loose and given
vent to what she thought of Rhett Hammond and his stupidity, which he had
demonstrated repeatedly during his ten nights with Leah.
“It doesn’t take a
professional to see your friend is in shock.” Sylvia shook her head, attempting
to maintain her professionalism. She resolved to have a long discussion with
Rhett about his decision to involve an innocent in such an extreme example of
the lifestyle, just as soon as she had an opportunity to do so.
Opening her eyes Leah
looked around; seeing the people surrounding her she closed her eyes and sighed
deeply. She hadn’t meant to lose it so badly, though it was clear she had from
the way Janie was holding her like a child and David and some strange lady was
looking at her with concern in their eyes. “What happened?” she asked. She kept
her eyes closed for a moment longer before willing them open.
“You had us scared to
death, honey.” Janie hugged her tight before letting her go.
“How are you feeling
now, Leah?” Sylvia squatted alongside the young woman, smiling reassuringly at
her.
“Um, I’m sorry, who are
you?” Leah wanted to know, she had no idea who the lady next to her was, and
wasn’t about to talk to her until she did.
“My name is Sylvia, I’m
a friend of David and Janie; I’m also a psychiatrist.” She smiled again,
wanting to put Leah at ease. “Don’t worry, I’m just here to help; David thought
I might be of some assistance when he saw how upset you were by what happened.”
Groaning softly Leah
sat up. “Look, I’m sorry for the inconvenience, I just freaked out. Seriously,
I’m fine now,” she said, seeing the skeptical look on Sylvia’s face.
“You’ve been catatonic
for the past two hours, my dear,” Sylvia said gently. “I don’t think you’re
fine, not yet.”
Leah couldn’t believe
she had been out of it for that long, it only felt like a few minutes since she
entered the condo and collapsed to the floor. Her face burned with embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry, Janie, I just lost it.” She was mortified at having David and a
stranger as witnesses to her meltdown, especially since, given the look on her
friend’s face, it had been bad.
“Don’t you dare worry
about anything, honey,” Janie told her, continuing to hold her friend’s hand.
“I’m just sorry I ever introduced you to him.” She felt like shit; as far as
she was concerned everything that had happened to Leah was her fault, if she
hadn’t taken her friend to that party she would never have met Rhett, and
everything would still be alright with her.
“Janie, stop, this
isn’t your fault.” Pulling her friend into an embrace Leah held her tight. “I
just freaked out, I’m fine, honestly.” Her heart may have been broken, but no
one had ever died from a broken heart, had they?
“Listen, Leah, my name
is Sylvia Lawrence.” She pulled a card from her purse. “As I told you, I am a
psychiatrist. If you need to talk about this, or about anything, anything at
all, just call me, okay? Any time of the day or night, it doesn’t matter.” She
wasn’t entirely convinced that the young woman before her was actually okay,
but she did seem improved and Sylvia felt it would be okay to leave her with
her friends.
“It’s nice to meet you,
Sylvia.” Leah was tremendously embarrassed by everything; she couldn’t believe
she had caused such a scene that her friend’s boyfriend had felt it necessary
to call a psychiatrist. In her opinion people should be able to work things out
for themselves, or with their friends, they shouldn’t need to speak to a
stranger about their problems. “You won’t report this or anything will you?” As
pissed off as she was she didn’t really want to get Rhett in trouble.
“I have to admit, Leah,
I am in a very tough position here. David has told me that you agreed to spend
ten nights with Rhett, nights which you knew would contain a sexual element.”
Leah nodded, reluctant
to discuss those ten nights with the psychiatrist.
“See that would make it
difficult to do anything if I were to report what happened; I know from
experience, both as a psychiatrist and a submissive, that when it comes to
people involved in the lifestyle, the police are reluctant to get involved.” It
was a reluctance that Sylvia was very much at odds with. “On the other hand,
Rhett’s appalling decision tonight, when he was very much aware that you are
inexperienced, both in the lifestyle and in sexual matters in general, could
result in tremendous emotional and psychological damage to you. Damage that we
are not yet able to assess the extent of.”
“I really have to take
at least part of the blame,” Leah said, she felt a little better knowing the
lady before her was part of the lifestyle as well, at least it meant she wasn’t
likely to judge anything she said negatively. “I agreed to spend the ten nights
with Rhett without finding out more about what I was getting into.
“Besides, I think it
was a first for him as well as for me.”
“No, Leah.” David shook
his head from where he was leaning against the kitchen island. “He’s done it
before. It’s always been with people experienced in the lifestyle though.”
“The truth is, whether
it was his first time doing it or not, he knew what he was doing,” Sylvia said
firmly. “While what he did may not be illegal, in the strictest sense, it
certainly wasn’t a well thought out act.
“I have known Rhett for
fifteen years now, and I have never seen him act so irresponsibly.” She was
dumbfounded that he had allowed things to get so out of control. Rhett Hammond
was known in their community as a leader, and the person a Dominant could turn
to for help and advice.
“I just wasn’t ready.”
Leah found herself fighting back tears again. “Maybe if he’d waited a while
before doing it I would have been ready, it wouldn’t have been such a shock to
me.” Her voice wavered as she spoke.
“I don’t want you
internalizing this, Leah, Rhett is much more to blame than you could ever be;
he knew what he was doing.” Sylvia was truly worried about the long lasting
effects of the training Rhett had subjected her to. “It doesn’t matter if you
might have been ready for what he wanted to do in time, the fact remains that
you weren’t ready for it, and as much experience as he has in the lifestyle it
is impossible that he didn’t know that.
“I have a small group
that meets twice a week to demonstrate the basics of our lifestyle, and to
discuss any problems or questions that the members might have. I’d like you to
come and sit in.”
“To be honest, I’m not
sure I want to think about this lifestyle again.” She knew that for the rest of
her life, when she thought about BDSM, or indeed anything to do with the
culture, she would think about Rhett, and being constantly reminded of him was
not going to help her forget, either him or the things he had done to her.
“I think you should at
least consider the classes, Leah,” Sylvia told her. “Even if you decide you do
not wish to continue with this lifestyle I think it will help you heal. It may
also show you a side of the life that Rhett has not yet demonstrated.” Seeing
that she wasn’t convinced she continued. “Please, Leah, if nothing else it
would help me sleep better at night.”
Leah wasn’t sure why
she nodded, but the thought of the psychiatrist having come to take care of her
in the early hours of the morning meant a lot to her. “I’ll check out a class,
okay?”
“Wonderful, and if you
need me before then, just call me. As I said, I am available any time of the
day or night.” She pulled a second card from her purse and handed it to Leah.
“The next class is in two days, at six p.m. Just follow the direction on the
back of the card.” Standing up she gave quick goodbyes to David and Janie
before leaving them.
“Leah, I’d like you and
Janie to come stay at my place tonight. We were on our way there when we
stopped in to pick up a change of clothes for Janie.” David hoped that she
would accept his offer. He didn’t entirely trust Rhett to stay away, despite
his threats to involve the police.