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Authors: Cary McNeal

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1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (48 page)

BOOK: 1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader
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343

FACT :
In 2007,
forty-five people were struck and killed by lightning
in the United States, a quarter of them in or near water.
Better to be struck and killed than struck and not killed, don’t you agree? If you live through that, you’re probably going to be really skittish for a while. Your hair will never be right again either, I bet.

“Lightning Safety,” National Weather Service,
www.lightningsafety.noaa.gov
.

 

344

FACT :
Each year about fifty to seventy confirmed shark attacks and
five to fifteen sharkattack fatalities
occur around the world.
Numbers are on the rise. I’m wondering what makes for an unconfirmed shark attack. If a person has a huge chunk of meat ripped out of his ass, does anyone really suspect a sea bass?

Brian Handwerk, “Shark Facts: Attack Stats, Record Swims, More,” National Geographic News, June 13, 2005,
www.news.nationalgeographic.com
.

 

345

FACT :
Collisions with motor vehicles cause over
90 percent of deaths
from bicycle-related injuries.
And it’s not the people in the motor vehicles who die, in case you were wondering.

“Bicycle Injury: A Nationwide Problem,” Alaska Department of Transportation, August 2003,
www.dot.alaska.gov
.

 

346

FACT :
Over 400,000 children go to the emergency room for
bicycle-related injuries each year
; children account for 70 percent of all bike injuries treated.
Clowns, monkeys, Shriners, and village idiots account for the rest.

“Bicycle Injury: A Nationwide Problem,” Alaska Department of Transportation, August 2003,
www.dot.alaska.gov
.

 

347

FACT :
There were
850 hunting accidents
in this country in 2002, more than 10 percent of them fatal.
Beer + redneck + loaded weapon
‚ “accident.”

“IHEA Hunting Statistics,” Hunting for Tomorrow, December 10, 2005,
www.huntingfortomorrow.com
.

 

348

FACT :
In 2008, a seventeen-year-old boy was killed at Six Flags Over Georgia amusement park after
being decapitated by a roller coaster
. The teen and a friend had climbed over two well-marked six-foot security fences as a short-cut into the park when the victim was struck.
Six Flags’ “No cutting in line” policy is a bit more strict than most amusement parks.

“Boy Decapitated by Roller Coaster at Six Flags Over Georgia,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, June 29, 2008,
www.ajc.com
.

 

349

FACT :
At the Middle Tennessee District Fair in Lawrenceburg, a sixty-year-old woman was severely injured when she
fell thirty feet from the top of a ferris wheel
and landed on the spokes close to the center wheel axle. Witnesses told investigators that the woman was standing up and waving right before she fell from the gondola.
I bet she saw a guy selling cotton candy and was trying to get his attention.

“Woman, 60, in Critical Condition after Fall from Ferris Wheel,”
RideAccidents.com
, September 28, 2007,
www.rideaccidents.com
.

 

350

FACT :
A thirty-two-year-old woman fell from a roller coaster at Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari theme park in Santa Claus, Indiana in 2003 and was killed. The equipment
malfunctioned at the highest point of the roller coaster
, when riders feel the most “air time,” or zero-gravity feeling as a roller coaster train crests a hill. The victim fell from the last seat of the train car and plunged sixty to eighty feet to her death.
You’d think nothing bad could happen in a town called Santa Claus. You’d be wrong.

“Woman, 32, Killed in Fall from Roller Coaster at Holiday World,”
RideAccidents.com
, May 31, 2003,
www.rideaccidents.com
.

 

BOOK: 1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader
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