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Authors: Cary McNeal

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433

FACT :
The National Institute on Drug Abuse’s Community Epidemiology Work Group (CEWG) reported heroin as
the primary drug of abuse for those seeking treatment admissions
in Boston, Baltimore, Los Angeles, Detroit, Newark, New York, and San Francisco in December 2003.
If you lived in Detroit or Newark, you’d shoot up, too.

“Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008,
www.nida.nih.gov
.

 

434

FACT : Heroin withdrawal symptoms
include muscle and bone pain, restlessness, insomnia, vomiting, diarrhea, cold flashes with goose bumps (hence the term, “cold turkey”), and involuntary leg movements.
That’s nine good reasons not to stop.

“Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008,
www.nida.nih.gov
.

 

435

FACT :
Withdrawal symptoms from heroin
peak twenty-four to forty-eight hours after last use
and usually subside within about a week, though some users endure them for many months.
The involuntary leg movements include kicking yourself repeatedly in the ass for ever trying the drug in the first place. But involuntarily.

“Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008,
www.nida.nih.gov
.

 

436

FACT :
A 2007 survey found that among young adults eighteen to twenty-five,
the nonmedical use of prescription pain killers
increased sharply (12 percent) from the previous year.
“Nonmedical” sounds like they used pills as slingshot ammo or something, but that’s not what it means. In case you were wondering.

“New National Survey Reveals Cocaine, Methamphet-amine Use Drop among Young Adults; Prescription Drug Abuse Increases,” News Release, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, September 4, 2008,
www.oas.samhsa.gov
.

 

437

FACT :
The same survey found that levels of illicit drug use among the fifty-five- to fifty-nine-year-old set
more than doubled over the previous year
, confirming concerns that baby boomers have continued to use as they age.
This just in: getting old sucks. Grandma needs something to ease the pain.

“New National Survey Reveals Cocaine, Methamphet-amine Use Drop among Young Adults; Prescription Drug Abuse Increases,” News Release, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, September 4, 2008,
www.oas.samhsa.gov
.

 

438

FACT :
Caffeine is
more addictive than marijuana
.
But you can drink coffee in your office without turning off the lights and putting on “Dark Side Of The Moon.”

“The Most Addictive Drugs,” Teen Drug Rehab Treatment Centers—Alcohol and Drug Rehabs for Young Adults— Addiction Treatment,
www.drugrehabtreatment.com
.

 

439

FACT : Excessive caffeine intake
can lead to nausea, heartburn, vomiting, increased heart rate, dehydration, depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, and tremors.
Child’s play compared to the symptoms that lack of caffeine intake can cause.

“The Most Addictive Drugs,”

 

Teen Drug Rehab Treatment Centers—Alcohol and Drug Rehabs for Young Adults— Addiction Treatment,
www.drugrehabtreatment.com
.

 

440

FACT :
In severe cases, caffeine overdose
can result in death
from convulsions or an irregular heartbeat.
Caffeine underdose—i.e., not getting your morning coffee—has similar results: anxiety, depression, convulsions. It can also result in a swift and severe death to anyone who pisses you off.

“Quick Facts: Caffeine,” CNN Food Central,
www.cnn.com
.

 

David Zieve, Greg Juhn, and David R. Eltz, “Caffeine Overdose,” Medline Plus, U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, January 23, 2008,
www.nlm.nih.gov
.
BOOK: 1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader
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