1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (67 page)

Richard Rapaport, “Jonestown and City Hall Slayings Eerily Linked in Time and Memory,” San Francisco Chronicle, November 16, 2003,
www.sfgate.com
.

495

FACT :
By law,
all citizens must take a bath
at least once a year in Kentucky.
Whether they need it or not.

“Ky Law Mandates Bathing Once A Year,”
redOrbit.com
, November 23, 2003,
www.redorbit.com
.

496

FACT :
After pleading guilty to theft and vandalism in 1994, Michael Fay, an American teenager living in Singapore, was caned—a punishment in which
criminals are given blows to the bare buttocks with a bamboo cane
. Americans were outraged, and the U.S. government tried to stop the punishment, but failed.
The only outrage is that they didn’t put it on TV for everyone to see. Even pay-per-view. I would’ve paid.

Cyndi Banks, Punishment in America: A Reference Handbook (ABC-CLIO, 2005).

497

FACT :
Two Domino’s Pizza employees in North Carolina were arrested in 2009 after a video surfaced on the Internet that
showed one of them putting cheese up his nose while preparing sandwiches
, farting on salami slices, and blowing his nose on the food, as the second employee filmed it and boasted about giving the tainted food to customers.
Farting on salami seems a little redundant.

“Domino’s Prankster A Sex Offender,” The Smoking Gun, April 16, 2009,
www.thesmokinggun.com
.

498

FACT :
In 2009, a mother in North Dakota faced child neglect charges for
drunkenly breast-feeding her infant
. Police witnessed the incident while responding to a domestic abuse call at her home, saying she was “extremely intoxicated.” She was arrested because alcohol can pass from mother to child via breast milk.
Local headlines: “Loaded Boob Charged With Loaded Boob” and “Lit Twit Hit For Unfit Tit.”

“Mother Faces BWI Charge,” The Smoking Gun, April 28, 2009,
www.thesmokinggun.com
.

499

FACT :
A fifty-one-year-old Cape Coral, Florida man was arrested in 2009 for having a “threesome” in his car in a grocery store parking lot—
with two inflatable sex dolls
.
“They just laid there,” the man later complained.

“Sex Doll Threesome Gets Man Off,”
MSNBC.com
, May 4, 2009,
www.msnbc.msn.com
.

500

FACT :
Two Florida women were arrested for theft in 2009 after taking nearly $200 worth of merchandise from a Wal-Mart in Port St. Lucie. They were caught a short time later after inadvertently
leaving behind a packet of recently developed pictures
—including some of themselves—in an envelope that listed one’s name and phone number.
Like their photos, the two were finished in less than an hour.

“Shoplifting Suspects Caught After Forgetting Photos in Wal-Mart Cart,”
FoxNews.com
, April 11, 2009,
www.foxnews.com
.

CHAPTER 11
When It
Rains,
It Pours
A S#*tstorm
of Scary Facts
about the
Weather

501

FACT :
New research predicts that the Earth’s temperature could rise by 3°–6°C (37.4°–42.8°F) by the close of the twenty-first century,
enough to have a serious impact on human life
through rising sea levels, flooding, widespread drought, and more.
I plan to be long gone by then, so good luck with that, kids.

Michael D. Lemonick, “Global Warming: Beyond the Tipping Point,” Scientific American, October 2008,
www.sciam.com
.

502

FACT :
Scholars estimate that up
to 50 million people worldwide will be displaced by 2010
due to serious weather-related environmental changes caused by global warming.
I wonder how many of them ever said, “Change is good.”

Larry West, “Scholars Predict 50 Million Environmental Refugees by 2010,”
About.com
,
www.about.com
.