12 Borrowing Trouble (24 page)

“Every damned thing in my body, but mostly my left shoulder,” he replied with a groan.

“Isn’t your right shoulder your problem?” Carrie asked.

His voice was raw and tortured, when he said, “Looks like it’s both of them now.
  I guess the release in my pocket doesn’t mean shit now.  It’ll be a long time, before I can go back now.  If ever.”  He moaned again and gripped his arm tighter.  “Because I was trying to show off for a fucking kid.  Make him love the sport like I do,” he whispered hoarsely.

“He loves
you
,” Carrie replied.  It was more than obvious her son did love and respect Dylan.  Looked up to him.  And that was too damned bad, really.  He needed that male connection in his life more than anything, but she just wished he’d have picked a better role model.  This one was just too damaged to love anyone, even himself.

“I don’t want to fucking be loved.
I want to go back to the rodeo,” Dylan growled.

Carrie sat down in the dirt to hug her knees to her chest.  “See
, here’s the thing about love.  You don’t have to invite it in for it to happen.  Sometimes people are so good to you, they help you and pretend to care about you, and it just comes whether you want it or not.”

That was her situation.  No matter how hard she fought it, she loved Dylan Thomas.  Wanted him to love her. 
To fulfill the secret little fantasy in her mind of him being hers.  Yeah, even though she’d said she wasn’t going to do it, and she was still pissed at him, her heart had other ideas.  She was sure her son and Izzy felt the same way.  But this man was more damaged emotionally than he was physically.  It was pointless to keep pounding her head and wishing things were different. 

But if he wasn’t leaving this ranch, she would have to.  There was no way she was going to be able to stay here if he was here.  Letting her kids continue to be around him, get deeper in with him emotionally, wa
s not good for any of them. 

“I’m leaving, going back to my
parents’ ranch.  They’re moving to Arizona.”  That wasn’t the decision she wanted to make, but the one she had to make now.

His head swung and his hot eyes met hers.  “You need to stay here.  There are people here
to help you.  You have a good job and good friends here.”

“I could say the same to you.  I know as soon as that new injury heals, you’ll be out of here, before they can blink
,” she replied with a shake of her head.  “We’re moving back to the ranch.  I think that’s the best thing for the kids right now.  They need roots, and so do I.  If my parents sell the ranch, we won’t have any.”

They sat there in brooding silence for a few minutes, then Carrie wondered why her son and Terri hadn’t come to check on Dylan.  “I’ll go find Terri.  I guess Chris got lost.”

“I’ll just walk to the medic shack,” Dylan grumbled as he pushed to his feet.  He released his arm for a second to swoop his hat off the ground.  He dusted it off and slammed it down on his head.  “Later,” he said walking toward the fence.

Carrie stared at his back
,
and folded her arms over her chest
,
wondering how the hell he thought he was going to get over that fence.  He would have to ask for help, so she just waited.  When he put his boot on the bottom rung,
and balanced then sat, before throwing his long leg over the top rail, without hands, she figured out quickly Dylan was used to doing things himself.  He’d rather die than ask for help from anyone.  Stubborn ass.

Maybe that’s the attitude she needed to adopt to
o.  Having faith that she was strong enough to be independent, solve her own problems.  Not rely on other people to help her solve them, or count on them being there when things went south.  With her parents leaving, the only one she was going to have to rely on from here on out was herself.  She would be alone in the fight for survival.  She needed to be a survivor instead of a victim.

Sean dying had uprooted her life, and set her adrift on a sea of circumstances.  S
he’d been alone, but she hadn’t been independent.  She’d been taking the waves of bad news and bad luck, and rolling with them, but she hadn’t been in control of her life. Maybe it was time she took control.  She’d file for bankruptcy, something she’d been fighting for almost ten years now.  Something she and Sean said they would never do.  Then she’d take over her parents’ ranch and start fresh.  A new beginning for her and her children. 

Carrie
could be a rancher, a good one. Her daddy had taught her how it was done.  Yeah, she’d been a kid and didn’t know all of the ins and outs, but she could learn just like she’d taught herself to bake a cake from scratch.  Stiffening her shoulders and her resolve, she unfolded her arms and walked to the fence too, and scaled it. 

She walked around the corner of the barn and stopped when she heard raised voices, one
of them very clearly Australian, and the other Dylan’s.  She sighed, and started walking again.  Evidently even an injury couldn’t prevent the two testosterone-soaked cowboys from arguing.  Most times over nothing.  There was so much tension between the two of them, she could definitely see them coming to blows often if Dylan stayed here.

But when she rounded the corner, she
realized it wasn’t Zane and Dylan arguing this time.  A very rough-looking cowboy was arguing with Zane, and Dylan was standing in front of the big Aussie with his right hand in the center of his chest, as if holding him back.  Another smaller, much younger, thuggish teenager stood beside the rough cowboy.  The two strangers didn’t look like they fit together at all.  One was obviously country to the core, and the other urban tough.

“Get your bloody
arse off this ranch, or I’ll take a bite out of it, mate,” Zane growled, baring his teeth, as he pushed against Dylan’s hold.  Dylan stumbled back, but put his right shoulder into holding the cowboy back.  “I told you my mouth is zipped.  I don’t know nothing, don’t want to know.”

“Well, Ray is worried you will.  He sent me out here to make sure you know what
’ll happen if you talk to the feds.  If the other branch goes, the whole tree goes and it falls right on you.  Got that?”

The feds?  Carrie wondered what the hell was going on.  Was Zane in trouble with the law?  Were they after him?  And who the hell was this man threatening him?
  Branches?  Trees? None of it made sense to her. 

A door slammed loudly, and she saw Chris running hell-bent-for-leather across the yard toward the barn.  His hat flew off, but he didn’t stop, until he got to the barn.  “Dylan, I’m sorry.  I couldn’t find Terri,” he said, heaving for breaths, then his eyes locked with the younger thug and
they widened.

“So this is where the fuck you went.  I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” the teenager said, grinning widely.  “Where the hell is my money?”

Chris’s face paled as he walked backwards toward the door of the barn, where he pirouetted then took off running.  With a glance after Chris, then a hard look at the teenager, the cowboy grabbed the kid’s arm to drag him toward the bent up pickup parked under the tree.  They got in fast, and Carrie tried to make out the dirty, bent up license plate on the front of the truck, then looked again at the one on the back, as the truck spun to speed away.  Neither was legible.  She couldn’t help but think that was on purpose. 

Those were not good guys.  And one of them knew her son.

Carrie’s stomach lurched as she staggered toward Zane and Dylan.  She had to find Chris, find out what was going on here.  It was something bad, she knew.  Money?  Was that the money she’d found under his mattress?  Had her son lied to her about where it had come from?

She was an idiot for not asking more questions.
  At the barn door, a hand clamped down on her shoulder.  “Carrie, wait…I need to talk to you.” 

The serious tone in Dylan’s voice almost made her ask him about what, but right now she had other, more important things to deal with.  Besides, she didn’t really want to hear anything Dylan had to say to her.  Their time in the sun was gone.  His short chapter in her book was written, finished.  No more words were needed.

“Mommy, Chris wouldn’t help me put my new saddle on my pony,” Izzy said petulantly as she folded her arms across her chest.  “Dylan gave me a new saddle for Snowy, and I want to ride her.  Rocky isn’t here.”

“Where did Chris go, Izzy
?” Carrie grated, filing away the fact that Dylan had given her daughter another gift.  Maybe she had a few more words for him after all. 

Later, before she left this ranch, s
he was going to have a Come-to-Jesus talk with him about making people love him by his actions, making them form attachments he had no intention of returning.  Obviously the asshole didn’t have a clue how he hurt people when he did that. 

But first, her son was going to tell her
where the hell he’d really gotten that money she found under his mattress.  The money she’d used up to move them to her parents’ ranch.  The money she didn’t have to pay back the thugs he obviously owed a great deal of money.

Carrie had been a blind sheep.  But she wasn’t anymore.  When she got done with him, her son would definitely know she wasn’t a woman to be messed with.  He would well remember never to lie to her.  No matter what.

“He ran toward the creek,” Izzy said.  “I’ll get Snowy saddled, and go get him,” she said with excitement.

“You go into the house and find Terri.  Stay put until I come back to get you,” Carrie said holding her daughter’s gaze.  “I’m going to find your brother.”

“I’ll come with you,” Dylan said darkly, his hand falling off of her shoulder.

“No thank you,” Carrie replied tersely, walking into the barn.  She opened Diamond’s stall door and grabbed her halter.  “Zane
, would you mind getting the saddle and bridle for me out of the tack room?”

“Sure thing, love,” he said, as he headed down the aisle.

Dylan growled behind her, but she ignored him.  She walked out of the stall and led Diamond to the fence surrounding the indoor arena.  Zane came back and dropped the saddle.  She took the blanket from him and threw it over the horse’s back, then picked up the saddle and with a grunt swung it onto the mare’s back.

“Carrie, let him help you do that,” Dylan growled.  “You’re not going to get it tight enough.”

“I’ve got this, Dylan.  This isn’t my first rodeo, I can saddle a fricking horse.  Go get your arm looked at.  I don’t need help.”

“I can help you, love,” Zane offered, grabbing the saddle
horn to shift the saddle to a better position.  Carrie elbowed him out of the way, and grabbed the girth strap.

“Carrie, let him help you!” Dylan grated, then he looked at Zane.  “And stop fucking calling her
love
, asshole!”

Carrie tightened the cinch, tested the saddle then slapped the mare’s gut to make sure she wasn’t holding wind.  She spun around to face Dylan.  “Mind your own business, Dylan.  Go get your damned shoulder looked at.  I don’t need or want your help.  I’ll deal with you later.
  Right now, I need to talk to my son.” 

Carrie grabbed the bridle and stood in front of the mare to slide it on her face, then grabbed the reins.  Dylan was still standing there, but she ignored him as she bent and tightened the strap more, then tested the saddle again, before she put her left foot in the saddle to hoist herself up on Diamond’s back.  The mare nickered and her ears perked up.  Carrie kneed her and left him standing there.

She rode toward the creek, toward Terri’s house, scanning the pasture for any sign of movement.  This afternoon ride had taken on a new purpose.  Instead of unwinding, the closer to the creek she got, the tighter the band around her chest became.  Carrie didn’t want to know what Chris was involved with, but she had to know.  Whatever it was had to be bad. 

I
f that was the case, it could mean he was in more trouble.  That could affect the pending charges against him, affect his proof to the judge that he had indeed made a change to become a good kid out at the New Hope Ranch.  Billy and Sharon might kick him out when they found out. 

Her heart squeezed a
s fear clawed at her insides.  If that happened, the hanging judge might decide to give him the maximum sentence possible to teach him a lesson.  To keep him off the street to keep him out of trouble.  If he was behind bars, he wouldn’t be able to cause more trouble.  At least on the outside.  At the rate he was going, Carrie had a bad feeling that trouble would always follow her son, hover like a black cloud over his head for his entire life.

Not if she had anything to do with it.  It was time for her to get her own head out of the clouds so she could help him find his way back to the right path.
 

She would remove him from the New Hope Ranch before Sharon and Billy found out
about this, before they had no choice but to tell the court.  They would move back to her parents’ ranch, and she would work his ass off there.  Carrie wouldn’t be alone trying to run that ranch, her son was going to help her. She wasn’t a man herself, but she felt for sure she could teach her son how to become a good man.  She’d had a good teacher, her father was a good man.

She would home school him herself to keep him away from any temptation to get into mischief
, from the temptation of getting involved with a bad crowd who could lead him into trouble again.  And get him into church.  There were youth groups there, and plenty of good examples for him to follow.  The volunteer activities there would keep him busy in his free time.  He wouldn’t have any free time if she had anything to do with it.