3 Heads & a Tail (3 page)

“
What
'
s so funny?
”
asked Kay.

“
Nothing,
”
said Josie
, biting her lip
.

“
Well
, do you want to meet Glen
,
our fourth housemate
?
”
asked Ben, winking at Josie.

“
Sure do,
”
said Kay.
“
I want to see this
big
,
hairy guy
. I bet he doesn
'
t snore
!
”

Josie laughed. David looked confused, but managed to flick his hair back neatly anyway.
She
noticed how the guy didn
'
t have a singl
e flaw or wrinkle on his face
. Maybe he was some kind of beautiful android
that had travelled back in time. Some crazy old scientist somewhe
re was now
looking for
his long-
lost dream project...

“
Hey
,
dreamer!
”
called David
.
“
Are you
coming?
”

“
Oops, yes,
”
said Jos
ie.
“
Daydreaming is my
favourite pastime. Y
ou
'
ll get used to it!
”

Josie
swept out of the room
behind
David and up the stairs. Ben and Kay were waiting. Kay adjusted her skirt and pouted her lips. Josie smiled. That ef
fort was sure going to be wasted on Glen!
Her
friend was so m
an crazy
all of a sudden. The
brave
explorer
of Testosterone M
ountain – never
to be defeated
,
she would climb every...

“
T
his is Glen!
”
announced Ben, opening the door to his room
. It swung
back
, revealing
two big brown eyes, two soft and erect ears,
and
a
goofy
grin
. Glen didn
'
t need to be announced twice. He bounced out of the room and straight into Kay. Up he went on his hind legs and out
popped
his
glistening
tongue in a friendly attempt to lick
her
face.

Josie grinned.
“
Hope you put your best lippy on!
”

“
Oo
h
,
you trickster!
”
sighed Kay.

David
emitted
a deep-throated
,
sexy laugh. Josie tried to ignore it and focused on strok
ing the animal – that
animal
! S
tro
ke it
, she told herself,
and
don
'
t even think about
the sexiness of
his laugh. She didn
'
t dare lo
ok at Kay because she knew her friend
was thinking
the exact same thing
and she would
go as red as a beetroot.

“
I think he really likes you
too
!
”
said Ben
, unaware of the sparks of sexual electricity pinging round the room
.
“
Sometimes
Glen
'
s
a bit too
friendly and
he
can be
a bit much for some people. H
e
'
s
just enthusiastic.
”

“
He
'
s lovely!
”
said Josie, and
this time she
really
was
focusing on
Glen.

“
Right,
”
said David.
“
It was n
ice to meet you
two
.
I
'
m off to make some music, so I
'
ll catch you later.
”

I
f only he was making music
with me, thought Kay, w
atching
the departure of David
'
s
perfect bum in
his perfect jeans. She had goose
bumps.

“
Bye,
”
said Josie, not looking up from the dog. He was so soft. His
big
eyes were really brown and dreamy.

“
Think you
'
ve found a new friend,
”
said Ben.

Josie was pretty sure she ha
d found two new ones. She had a feeling that she was going to be really good mates with Ben. He seemed really easy to
talk to
.

Humpf!
I thought he wa
s never going to open that door!
I thought I was going to be locked in there all night, running ar
ound and chasing my tail. That ge
t
s
boring after ten minutes
. If only he
'
d left a stick and his room was the size of a football ground – now that would have been a fun
-packed afternoon.

Josie seems
nice. She
was stroking me for a long time. T
hough I thought my eyes were going to pop
out
when Kay kept patting my head
over and over again.
Something tells me she was not expecting a four-legged fellow. But it was voofing funny seeing
the look on
her face
when I tried to lick it!

I
bet
Ben
like
s
Josie
.
He always likes the sweet, pretty girl
s. But why has she got red hair?
It doesn
'
t look real. I like her
big
green eyes. She looks like a
dreamer and Ben is definitely one of those
. He dre
ams too much for his own good, b
ut he
'
s a good soul.
Ah
,
I could see that
Josie
didn
'
t want to turn roun
d when David said goodbye. M
aybe
that
'
s not so good.
Voofing not good.
If she
likes h
im, that
'
s n
ot good at all. Anyone but h
i
m!
“
Voof!
”

Right, that
'
s my dinner finished. I al
ways have my big thoughts when I
'
m eating. Be
n says he thinks in the shower –
I
wonder what that
'
s like. A
big doggy bath
,
maybe? Water from the
sky!
Think I
'
d prefer the river. It smells better. And you g
et to shake it, really shake it –
s
hake that water off, baby.
“
Voof, v
oof.
”

“
Are you still hungry
,
Glen?
”

Ben
'
s staring at me. He
'
s always worrying if I
'
m eating enough.
“
Voof
”
, I say. I try to smile, but it probably doesn
'
t look like one. Probably makes me look a bit goofy and weird.
“
Voof,
”
y
ep
,
I
'
m ok
ay
. I
'
m doggy ok
ay
. I wag my tail.
Ben likes that. N
ow he
'
s smiling. I
'
ll just wag it again. W
hoa
, I like it too. Waggy
,
waggy
,
waggy.
Look at my bum go!

“
Ready for
walkies?
”
he asks.

Ah
,
the magic word
!
Now I
'
ve g
ot to muster up as much enthusiasm as possible for this so he doesn
'
t change his mind.
“
Voof voof voof!
”
Now for
a quick chase around of my tail
and that
should do it
. Wooosh. Wooosh.
“
Voof voof.
”
Oops, now
I feel a
bit
dizzy. Dizzy doggy.
“
Voof.
”

“
Come on
,
you old thing,
”
he
says
, b
ending down so his face is right in front of mine
. I don
'
t mind. Ben is great and I seem to make him really happy by doing the smallest things.
“
Voof.
”
He grins. See what I mean? But
,
less of the old,
I
'
m not old. I
'
m six. That
'
s ok
ay
for a doggy. I
'
m still fit. I think. I hope.

“
Come on, let
'
s go to the park,
”
says
Ben, opening the front door.

Ah, the magic words!
I speed down the steps, my ears flapping in the breeze, all of t
he lady doggies looking my way – in
my head. In reality, I walk slowly down the steps, side by side
with
Ben, who is gripping on to the lead like I
'
m going to rush off and send us flying into a tree like I
'
m riding some magical skateboard. There was one in that film
,
Back to the Future. Now I know I
'
m just a dog, but I really fancy myself ridi
ng one of those – w
hoo
s
h
I
'
d go,
and I definitely wouldn
'
t hit that tree.

Pad, pad, pad down the street, avoiding the small piles of other doggy doo doo. Yikes.
“
Voof.
”
Some dogs like the smell
of it
, but not me.
Does that make me a strange doggy?
Am I weird? Ben,
I
really don
'
t wa
nna sniff
it
! T
oo
close, too close, too
oo
close! A
h
, a near miss!
I
just avoided that
one
. B
ut the smell,
yikes! D
oggie
, what are you
eating to do doo doo like
you do
?

“
Come on boy, what a lovely day,
”
says
Ben, looking down at me.

“
Voof.
”
I look up and smile. Well, you know the score
by
now,
I do a goofy kind of smile. Don
'
t know what I look like when I
'
m doing this because I
'
ve never seen myself doing
it in one of those mirrors...
they really scar
e me, m
irrors. Like
,
is that
really
me?
I know it
'
s meant to be me, but are you sure it
'
s not
just
a
nother dog? A big dog – one
with some crazy
,
problem
atic grinning action going on! It b
eats me
. Who invented mirrors anyway? They
'
re j
ust c
onfusing.