31 Days of Winter (49 page)

‘Nairne, I don’t mind at all, though I can’t make
any promises, but take my email address, send me your draft manuscript and I
promise to give it my personal attention,’ I smiled at the teenager, who’d
excitedly explained an illustrated children’s book she’d drawn and written when
she found out what I did. She screamed with delight and clapped her hands,
making me laugh, and skipped off to tell her mum and dad.

‘You’re so sweet,’ Dan advised. I looked around at
him and smiled. He was leaning back in his chair, with his arm draped over the
back of mine, his fingers stroking my shoulder as we recovered from a massive
feast.

‘Well, what chance will she have up here without
any connections? Besides, that’s part of my job, looking out for new talent and
helping them shape their manuscript into something that will hopefully become a
bestseller.’

‘You really love your work?’

‘I do. Books just contain such magic and poetry.
Your friend must think so too with that library in the house, he has pretty
much all my favourites and then some. You’re not a big reader?’

‘No. I prefer code to words.’

‘You can’t still do your IT design work from up
here?’

‘You’ve already had more than your fill of
personal questions for tonight, Miss Baxter,’ he smiled.

‘Does anyone know the real you?’ I asked with a
sigh.

‘My parents.’

‘Do you not think that’s sad? What about your best
friend, doesn’t he know the real you?’

‘I guess, I forgot to include him. Anyway this
isn’t a grill Dan night, we need to help move the tables to make way for the Céilidh
band,’ he advised with a nod to where everyone was starting to clear up.

‘I’ve never been to a Céilidh before, I won’t know
what to do.’

‘They do an introduction for beginners before it
gets going.’

We helped clear the room as the band set up and
Nairne came to take my hand.

‘Come on Ellie, I’ll help show you how it’s done.’

‘Ok, thank you.’ I smiled at Dan as Nairne led me
away and he went to lean on the bar with a whiskey as the cheerful music
started, and everyone watched as I appeared to be the only one who didn’t know
what they were doing. A load of the young girls came to join us. When a ruddy
chap in his early twenties came to dance with me I saw Dan bristle at the bar
as he watched. He was such a contradiction, but I liked that he was jealous. I
laughed as we twirled around and more people joined us. The noise was insane,
most people were merry, me included, and as I was swirling and jigging around
and around I felt light headed and wobbled as I spun into a wall of muscle.

‘Miss Baxter, I think it’s my turn,’ advised Dan
as he supported my waist with his strong arm tightly around me.

‘You dance?’ I giggled.

‘I have many talents that you’re unaware of,’ he
smiled as he lifted me straight up, my feet leaving the floor as he moved us
around the dance floor.

‘You can dance,’ I nodded.

‘So can you, I’ve been watching you.’

‘I know you have.’

‘Now who’s cocky?’

‘Stating facts, you were jealous when that guy
came to dance with me.’

‘I was. I’ve been reconsidering my insistence of
no sex again. How do you feel about us being friends with benefits tonight?’

‘Are you
serious?
’ I gasped as I slapped
his shoulder.

‘Yes, why?’

‘You’re so out of order,’ I hissed as I struggled
to put my feet on the floor and get out of his grasp. ‘We had sex the other
night and I woke up to find you were back to your usual horrible self, if you
think I want to go through that again you can dream on. Put. Me. Down.’ I hit
his shoulder again.

‘It’s just sex, why do emotions and feelings have
to come into it?’

‘For me they do. Obviously you’re more than
capable of fucking and disconnecting, I’m not, but I’d really like to
disconnect
right now
. Let me go,’ I ordered. He set me down and I
stalked off, furious with him. Furious and turned on. The thought of another
night of incredible sex with him was over riding my righteous anger. I noticed
a few people filtering outside, it was nearly midnight and the French doors had
been thrown open and the patio heaters were on full blast. I tucked up in the
corner of the decking, leaning over the railing to get a good view of the
fireworks and smiled as I took in the peaceful water in front of me. I was
going to miss the quiet when I went back to London, I’d been a city girl all my
life, but I’d always dreamed of escaping to the country, with the fresh air, long
walks, and beautiful views. It would be a much nicer place to bring up a
family. I smiled as I saw a toddler racing around the decking, under the
watchful eye of his mother. I was desperate to have children, Brooke was right,
I loved taking care of people and liked having someone to love and spoil. Maybe
I could look into adoption if I couldn’t find a guy to settle down with. I sent
Brooke a quick text.

Happy New Year to my best friend in the world.
I hope it brings you much health, wealth and happiness and that it’s the start
of a new life with Molly. Can’t wait to see you Saturday to celebrate together.
LYMY xxx

I heard the strains of Auld Lang Syne starting
behind me and took a moment to think about the last twelve months and let go of
the life I’d planned with Zac. The most exciting twelve months of my life were
ahead of me. I kissed my locket as I remembered Mum and Dad and felt my eyes
well up just as a pair of hands grabbed my waist and spun me around.

‘What’s wrong?’ he frowned as he looked down at
me.

‘Just missing my parents and Brooke,’ I sighed.
‘You’re missing New Year in there.’

‘I’d rather be out here with you. I do have
emotions you know, I didn’t disconnect when we had sex, I care about you Ellie,
and it’s those feelings I have that confuse me when reality reminds me that we
can’t be together in the way that you want. I don’t want you having unrealistic
expectations of me when it’s time for you to leave.’

‘I have no expectations of you Dan, other than
being the nice human being I know you can be after we’ve had an intimate
moment. I thought we were going to spend the rest of the week enjoying each
other and you cut me off again.’

‘I’m so confused,’ he sighed as he wiped away my
tears.

‘Well join the damn club. So leave me alone until
you know what you want.’ I pushed on his firm chest, but he didn’t even wobble.

‘It’s seconds from midnight and all I know is that
I want you in my arms, kissing me back when I kiss you. I’ve never wanted
anyone more, Ellie.’

‘
Dan
… I don’t know if …’

‘I told you that you talk too much,’ he
interrupted. ‘Don’t overthink it, kiss me,’ he ordered. I hated the fact that I
was so weak when it came to him, and despite his behaviour I wasn’t about to
pass up another moment with him. I tipped my head back and my lips parted and
swelled as his mouth moved towards mine and shivers of excitement exploded as
our lips met. There was a long bang as fireworks exploded behind me, while the
bagpipes played as everyone indoors cheered. I clutched the back of his neck as
our tongues duelled, his fighting for supremacy, making me submit to the pace
he was setting. One of his hands cupped the back of my head, the other held the
small of my back firmly pressing me against him. I blocked out everything going
on around us as I lost myself in the most perfect kiss I’d ever experienced as
he deepened the intensity. He sometimes had a way of making me feel so special,
so wanted, so
needed.
He suddenly broke away as people started to stream
out on the decking as the fireworks continued behind me. I gazed at him
slightly dazed. ‘Happy New Year, Ellie, I want nothing but the best for you.
Believe me.’

‘Happy New Year, Dan,’ I managed to get out with
an attempt at a smile. He turned me around and pressed up behind me, his
erection in my lower back, one hand around my waist with his hand on my stomach
as we marvelled at the display in front of us, reflecting in the still loch
water. I looked down as the toddler started crying because his view was blocked.
Dan surprised me by letting me go, picking him up and sitting him on his broad
shoulders so he had the best view of everyone. I looked up at him talking to
the boy as he held his hands and fell even more in love with him in that moment.
I quickly looked back at the fireworks as I blinked the tears from my eyes. Why
was he the way he was? He could be so happy, he could make any woman so happy, he
could make
me
so happy. I wished I could let it go, just forget these
feelings I had for him, forget the burning desire that screamed at me to take
him up on his offer of another night of passion that would be followed by a day
of inevitable heartache.

As soon as the fireworks finished, I quickly
squeezed through the crowds and headed to the bar and ordered a double whiskey,
knocked it back and ordered another.

‘Are you having a good time, Miss Ellie?’ asked
Pete as he poured it for me.

‘Excellent, everyone’s so happy and lively and
they’re showing no signs of slowing down.’

‘No, midnight is the real start of our
celebrations up here, not the end.’

‘That sort of makes sense, celebrating the New
Year ahead and not the old one that’s being left behind,’ I nodded.

‘It will be a shame for you to go home. I know Dan
will miss you.’

‘You think?’

‘I’m probably the closest he has to a friend up
here Miss Ellie, and I’ve never seen him so animated as he is around you. Plus,
he hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.’

‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ I protested, though
inside I was chuffed to bits. ‘When I’m gone he’ll soon be looking at one of
the pretty girls here.’

‘I’d lay money that he won’t. He’s resisted them
before. There’s something about you that’s stirred something in him. You’re an
easy lass to fall for, I think.’

‘Well he’s an easy guy to fall for too Pete, but
I’m heading back to London and he’s staying up here,’ I sighed.

‘You’ll make it work if it’s meant to be,’ he
nodded and pushed the whiskey my way. I smiled and let him go to serve someone
else. As I finished my second double whiskey, after a belly full of wine with
the meal, I felt very tipsy and giggled as Dan found me again, grabbed my hand
and led me back onto the dance floor where the party was in full swing. I
laughed as he spun me around and smiled at my enthusiasm.

‘I’ve reconsidered your offer,’ I advised.

‘You have?’ he looked at me surprised.

‘Yes. Take me back and fuck me,’ I ordered as I
held his gaze and watched the fire in his eyes ignite.

Fuelled by the alcohol, as soon as we were shut in
the small cabin of Conn’s boat I shoved Dan down onto the seat, hitched up my
dress, straddled his lap, grasped the edges of his hair and started to kiss him
passionately. He responded with his hands in their usual possessive places and
let out a grunt of surprise when I reached down and undid his button and zip on
his jeans.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’ve never had sex on a boat before.’

‘It’s a short ride,’ he responded with another
grunt as I wrestled him through the gap in his boxers.

‘Trust me, with you I don’t need long to come,’ I
nodded as I pulled my already damp knickers to the side and held him in
position as he supported my hips. ‘Just promise me we get to have sex in the
bed again, as I really want to feel your tongue working on my clit one more
time.’

‘As long as I get to feel your tongue on my cock
again. I want you on your knees in front of me, swallowing me again.’

‘You have a deal,’ I nodded with a wide smile and
kissed him again to muffle my cries as I sank down his shaft and felt my
muscles scream in protest.

‘Fuck,’ he mumbled in my mouth.

‘Hmmm,’ I whimpered as he clutched my hips and I
started to rise and fall on him as we kissed and I stroked the back of his neck
with my thumb. He growled again and flexed his pelvis back and forth as I rode
him. I had an overwhelming desire to get him completely naked as soon as we got
back, to run my hands and lips over every inch of his body, to commit it all to
memory to see me through the months that were going to be so hard while I tried
to get over him. I felt my climax building within a minute of him being inside
me, my reaction to him was unprecedented. ‘I’m coming,’ I gasped as I released
his mouth and gazed at him adoringly.

‘I know, I’m right there with you, you completely
wreck me, Ellie,’ he groaned. He pulled my mouth back onto his to silence our joint
release as I quaked on him and he gripped my backside as he thrust into me one
final time. I dropped my forehead onto his as our lips separated and we panted.
‘I want to spread you on that big bed in the house, suck your nipples to stiff
peaks, and lick you out while you’re still dripping with me, making you come so
hard you’ll draw blood as you claw at my skin. I want you kneeling in front of
me while I fuck you from behind as you scream for me to go harder and faster. You
will
remember sex with me, I will be the guy that you compare everyone
to, Ellie. But most of all, for one night I want to be the centre of your
universe, for you to want me the way you’ll never want anyone ever again. I’m
the guy you were meant to be with. Understood?’

‘Yes,’ I whimpered as my stomach did somersaults.
I just instinctively knew he
was
the guy I was meant to be with and
blocked out any depressing thoughts of saying goodbye to him as I kissed him
again. He carefully lifted me off him and I immediately sank to my knees and
sucked him clean, groaning at the taste of us both on his skin. He pulled me
back up and adjusted my knickers and dress, before tucking himself back in and
pulling me onto his lap and kissing me again, tenderly. We broke apart when the
engine noise slowed and the boat turned.