39 Weeks (21 page)

I abandon the jig-saw Olympics mid jig
,
and opened my front door to be confronted
by a huge pile of box’s, stacked
high enough to hide the
face of the person carrying them
, all I could see were his legs
.

‘Hi Marsha sent me up with this lot,’ a disembodied and somewhat breathless voice said from behind the pile of boxes that we
re threatening to topple over
any minute. ‘She said you were expecting it.’

‘Yes come in.’ Of course this must be Mac.

‘Um if you could just . . ‘ he said as the pile leaned sideways even more precariously.

I grabbed the top two boxes just as they were about to fall
and looked up into th
e eyes not of Mac but of Rob, the Rob, my
Rob.

‘Thanks,’ he murmured automatically while staring at me as dumbfounded as I was.

‘Rob!’

‘Judy!’

The conversation might not have been riveting, but discovering Rob
hiding
behind a stack
of baby stuff from the downstairs flat certainly was. We both continued to stare at each other while holding a pile of boxes each, both rooted to the spot in fr
ozen silence.

Hold on
, Marsha had said ‘I’ll volunteer Mac to bring it all up when he gets back’, and now here was Rob. My pregnant
brain-cell-
dying head couldn’t work it out for a second, then like a neon flashing sign it became all too clear, crystal clear. Rob was Mac. He was married to Marsha.

All this time I’d been feeling guilty about not telling him I was pregnant, and then seeing him in town with James I was worried he’d think I was a tart of the first order, and
all the time
t
he
scum bag
had a wife
. . he was
married . . . and had two children. And worse still he lived downstairs.

What a lying cheating bastard. I wonder if Marsha knew what he got up to whe
n he went out with his mates
. Was she the naïve little wife at home totally oblivious, or did she know and turn a blind eye, or were they both at it, you know an open marriage? Somehow I knew it had to be one of the first two options,
and most probably the first one, that
she hadn’t got a clue. I couldn’t see Marsha indulging in a bit of
extracurricular herself, or knowingly even if unwillingly pretending she didn’t know what he was up to. No it had to be that she didn’t ha
ve any idea. And he worked away
for days at a time
, he was probably at it non-stop
. Poor Marsha. Thank God I hadn’t . . I mean I’d never be able to look her in the face again
.

All this had occurred to me at the speed of light while we stood just staring at each o
ther, until eventually I said ‘y
ou
’d
better put that lot down somewhere’.

‘Right.’ He said still not moving. ‘Um . . there’s more downstairs, the cot and
several other
. . what are you doing here Judy?’

‘I live here.’

‘Yes I can see that, but how . . I mean . .
’

‘I work with Gill, the girl who used to live here . .’

‘Yes Gill, I know Gill she moved to . .’

‘Yes she moved, and I . . well when she told me . . I thought it sounded . . so I . . . and here I am.’ I garbled.

‘But . .’

‘Well obviously I didn’t know you’d . . or I’d never have . .’

‘No . . obviously.’

‘So where’s the Chippendale.’

‘The what?’

‘The
buff guy I saw you with the other day.’

‘You mean James?’

‘Yeah him, if that’s his name
.’

‘He’s . .’

But I didn’t get a chance to answer because the buff Chippendale came bounding up the stairs in person.

‘Hi Judy,’ he said all chirpy, then sensing the strained atmospher
e said somewhat less chirpily ‘e
verything alright?’

‘Everything’s fine.’ I said stoically
,
feeling anything but fine. ‘Rob was just leaving.’

James did a bit of a double take as it suddenly dawned on him that this was the guy I’d seen in town that day and said I didn’t really know, but had gone a bit gaga over anyway, and now here he was in my flat.

‘So?’ James said
meaningfully
looking straight at Rob
with undisguised dislike.

Of course this just emphasised the mistaken idea Rob had, that I was actually with James, you know as in we were together. He flung a sneer in James’s dir
ection and said to me tersely ‘s
hall I bring the cot up now or would later be better?’

‘Oh . . um . . maybe . .’

‘Why don’t you
just
leave it
out
in the hall and I’ll bring it up, save you the bother.’ James growled with fake politeness.

‘Fine, I’ll do that then.’

Rob practically shoved the boxes he was still holding into James’s arms, turned on the spot and went back downstairs.

‘I thought you said you didn’t know him, just met him once?’
James challenged.

‘I did just meet him once, I don’t . .’

‘So what was he doing here?’ James said with undisguised jealousy.

‘He lives in the flat downstairs, and Marsha, I told you about Marsha didn’t I, said she’d give me all her old baby stuff and he was just . .’

‘He lives downstairs?’

‘Yes, he’s Marsha’s husband.’
I said to which James smiled.

‘Husband . . so he’s married. And she’s got kids, two of them, didn’t you say?’ James said smiling even more.

‘Can you just stop smiling. This isn’t at all funny.’

‘No you’re right, sorry.’

But James didn’t stop smiling.
In fact he smirked away silently to himself for the next half an hour while he went up and down the stair
s bringing up the cot and then the
baby bath and the car seat, and
then
the rest of the baby toys. He piled it all up in the smaller bedroom, while I made
tea for us both.

When he’d finished he ca
me out to the kitchen and lounged
comf
ortably against one of the cupboards
as if he belonged there, and
looking altogether
too smug for my liking.

‘Would you like me to put the cot together?’ he said all testosterone’d up.

‘No.’

‘It’s no trouble.’

‘No it’s fine, just leave it.’

‘Are you annoyed with me about something?’

‘No.’

‘You seem annoyed.’

‘I’m not . . okay
then
I am.’

‘
Why?
I didn’t do anything
.’

‘I suppose you think this moves you up a notch, the guy she liked is married s
o that makes me a better option, i
sn’t that what you’re thinking?’

‘No . . but it is sort of funny don’t you think?’

‘No I don’t think it’s funny at all. And whether he’s married or not, or even if he turns out to be Jack The Ripper, it doesn’t mean I like you any more than before.’ Huh, that wiped the smile off his face.

‘D’you want me to go?’

‘No you don’t have to go, but I did warn you I’m not looking for a relationship, we’re friends that’s all. In fact it was you who said . .’

‘Yeah I know.’ James said solemnly, but at least he’d stopped smirking.

‘Look if you want to change your mind it’s okay I understand.’
I said.

‘Do you think you might . . ever . .’

‘I don’t know
, I don
’t think so.’ I said trying my best
to let him down gently.

‘But you might?’

‘Maybe, b
ut you shouldn’t hang around thinking it’s only a matter of time, because I really don’t think I’m ever going to feel any different.’

‘I’ll risk it.’

‘You really shouldn’t, I wouldn’t want you to think . .’

‘It’s up to me isn’t it, you’ve made it quite clear how you feel and if I choose to carry on trying, then that’s my business.’

‘Oh James, what am I going to do with you.’

‘Well I have one or two idea’s about that, care to hear them?’
James said suggestively and back to
the
smirking again.

I had to smile, I mean you had to give the bloke bonus points for persistence. But seriously what was I going to do
? T
he guy I liked
was a married lying arse, but
I wasn’t interested in
the one that liked me.
How bloody typical, for me anyway.

11
th
October – week 19 + 2
D
ay
s

I’d
reluctantly
adjusted to the fact that Rob lived downstairs, I still wasn’t happy about it but there was nothing I could do. My treasured memory of our one night in Zee Zee’s that I’d stored away
so carefully
had morphed into something else, and was now consigned to the ever growing pile of losers, liars and scum bags that had come into my life.
Nowadays t
op of the list
was Matt the twonk of course, but Rob was a close second.

I
avoided vis
iting Marsha for the rest of that
weekend, but on
the following
Wednesday
morning when I was getting ready for work I’d seen Rob load a largish sports bag in the back of his car and drive off
so I assumed, correctly it later turned out,
that he was working away again,
and that
evening when I got home from work I stopped off at Marsha’s on my way upstairs.

I needed to suss out if Marsha knew the sort of bloke she was married too.
Surely s
he couldn’t be so naïve that she didn’t know, I mean all women know in their heart of hearts when their partner
’
s a bit of a player, even if they don’t admit it to anyone. Even if they don’t admit it to themselves
. S
omewhere deep inside they know
, or at least suspect. Of course I couldn’t just ask her, but I liked her, she was already a friend, and a bit of me stupidly wanted to make sure she was alright. Daft really, I mean she’d probably been living with the situation for years, so even though it had all been a bit of a revelation to me, it was probably old news to her. St
ill though I needed to get confirmation of some sort from her
as best I could
that she was okay
,
without
of course
actually letting the cat out of the bag that I knew
, and especially
not
how I knew.

‘Hi Judy, come on in.’ She said
as soon as she’d opened the door wide enough to see it was me.

‘Is this a good time? I can come back later if it’s . .’

‘No it’s fine. The gruesome twosome have had their bath and are just having their last energy surge before crashing out for the night, at least I hope it’s their last.’

Harry and Flora were engrossed watching the telly, In The Midnight Garden was on and they were acting out all the parts
. I
t
all looked a bit weird to me as I’d barely
even heard of it
never mind seen it, and
Marsha
had to explain
to me what
exactly
In The Midnight Garden was and how it was a ‘must see’ at bedtime
for all pre-schoolers
.
Both wanted the prime spot immediately in front of the screen and
were arguing over who should get it, with a lot of pushing and shoving going on while their mother was distracted by her visitor, me, at the front door.
Marsha
masterfull
y put two cushions on the floor
side by side, then firmly placed two bottoms on them effectively calling a temporary
cease
fire to all hostilities. I watched
her expertise in awe.

‘Come through to the kitchen, we’ve probably got about ten minutes peace before w
orld war three breaks out again,’ s
he said to me,
and
adding
sternly
‘I’m watching you even though I’m in the kitchen’, to Harry and Flora.