39 Weeks (23 page)

‘Have they seen many people while I was gone?’ He said beginning to breathe normally again.

‘None that I noticed.’

‘None?’

‘Not one.’

‘Oh.
Well h
ow is it?’ He asked looking at my foot.

‘Throbbing, and I really need the loo.’

‘Right.’ He said worriedly looking round to see if he could see one.

Miraculously there was a loo, so we
shuffle hopped to the door and Rob stood looking helpless as I groaned and winced my way through the door and into the toilet on my own. It certainly wasn’t easy doing the necessary on one leg, but I managed and winced my way back out to the waiting area where Rob was still waiting and looking very uncomfortable at having to loiter outside the women’s
toilet
. We shuffle hopped back to our seats in time to see one of the other injured finall
y being moved to one of the cubicle’s down the corridor where they could be
attended to.

‘Looks like the queue might be moving a bit now.’ He said trying to be cheerfully positive.

‘Mm.’ I answered
pessimistically negative
.

We sat silently for a while watching the total lack of activity going on around us, and
then out of the blue he said ‘y
ou never said you were pregnant.’

‘Well I didn’t think I’d have to, I’d have thought it was pretty obvious.’

‘No I mean . . that night.’

‘No well we’d only just met
,
and I
was still getting used to the idea myself.’

‘Was that why you left in such a hurry?’

‘Yes. Shelley thought I shouldn’t get too . . she thought I should leave before . . that I shouldn’t stay out too late under the circumstances.’

‘You could have told me you know.’
He said with an edge of bitterness
.

Well doesn’t that beat all. I mean here he was ticking me off for not telling him I was pregnant, oh yeah like I was going to tell some gorgeous stranger who look
ed like he was falling for me ‘o
h and by the way I’m knocked up’, when all the time he was
married with kids
of his own
and
giving me all that bullshit about
his last relationship ending a couple of years ago, and coming on to me like I was ‘the one’. Yeah ‘the one’ stupid enough to fall for it
all
.

‘So is this James
bloke
the father?’

‘I don’t think that’s any of your business, do you?’
Like hell was I going to tell him anything, let him think what he wanted, I should care if he got it all wrong.

‘No you’re right it’s not.’ He said looking a bit hurt, which was incongruous given that he was the lying arse and not me. ‘I just wondered why he wasn’t . . why you
and he
weren’t living together if . .’

I didn’t bother answering I just stared at him, hard.

‘Okay, it’s none of my business. When’s the baby due
anyway
?’

‘The beginning of March, now can we change the subject please.’

We sat in uncomfortable silence
for a few minutes, while I fumed. Then regaining control of my composure
a little
I asked him ‘t
aken any good pictures lately, or was that another lie?’ Yeah
I thought,
let him be on the answering end for a change, see how he likes it.

‘Um . . one or two. I don’t get what you mean, another lie?’

What! How stupid does he think I am for God’s sake. ‘I mean
t
. .
was it all lies, the who
le thing, or just selected bits?
’ I said sarcastically.

‘Still not with you. What whole thing?’

‘The whole thing . . the story about leaving your job and . . oh forget it.’

‘I did leave my job.’

‘Look just forget it. I don’t really care anyway.’

‘Okay, but I really did leave my job, it wasn’t a story.’ He said looking bewildered.

‘Fine.’

‘No really I did.’

‘Yeah okay, you really did leave your job.’
Obviously he was just going to deny the whole thing as if we’d met and got chatting one night, end of. No attraction, no come on, no electric frisson when we danced, no kiss, no nothing. Well if that’s the way he wanted to play it fine, I could play that game. In fact that
game
suited me right down to the ground.

After another uncomfortable silence, well I was uncomfortable anyway, he just looked confused
for some reason
I really
didn’t understand or
care about,
he said ‘Nick tells me he and Shelley are moving in together’.

‘Yes they are.’

‘That’s good. It’s funny to think I sort of introduced them, well I pushed him to go and talk to her.’

‘Yes funny. Ha ha.’ I said, the sarcasm oozing out of me.

The next person to be seen by a doctor got up to go to one of the cubicles and accidently knocked m
y broken foot as he passed
, which made me groan loudly all over again.

‘Oh God I’m so sorry
.’ Rob said
back to being
all remorseful
again
.

‘It’s okay,
’ I said through gritted teeth.
‘
I know i
t was an accident
, I’m sure you didn’t do it on purpose.’

‘We probably should
’ve
packed it in ice.’

‘Probably.’

‘I’m really sorry Judy.’

‘Okay, you
don’t have to keep saying it
, I get it.’

‘I know but I feel really bad, I mean you’re not going to be able to drive for a bit even if it isn’t broken, and going up and down stairs is going to be
. .’

I hadn’t even thought of that, how am I going to drive,
how was I going to get to work?

‘I’ll drive you to work in the mornings
, and pick you up again. It’s the least I can do.’
He must have read my mind
, or did I say it out loud?

‘No
it’s alright
you don’t have to do that.’

Oh wonderful. Here I was doing my bes
t to stay out of his way and he was planning that
I’d have to see him
twice a day to and from work.
I
definitely
couldn’t handle that.

‘Well how are you going to manage? No I’ll drive you
. I haven’t got anything lined up
work-wise
for the next
couple of weeks
so I’ll take you
wherever you want to go
, at least let me try and help will you, I feel bad enough without . .
’

‘Well let’s just see what the doctor says first
shall we?
’

We both sat silent
after that and
e
ventually it was my turn to
get seen, it felt like we’d waited for weeks rather than the hour or so it actually took, but it finally happened and an actual doctor
finally
looked at my foot.
It wasn’t easy getting on the examining table, I had trouble getting on and off those things even with two feet never mind one, so Rob had to practically lift me on
, which was vaguely erotic and
I blushed, but
I don’t think Rob noticed, or if he did he probably just thought I was in pain.
I hope that’s what he thought anyway. I was mortified at my weak female body reacting this way
but it was out of my control.
Then I blushed all o
ver again embarrassed at my blush
ing the first time
, and I’m pretty sure he noticed then, but he didn’t say anything.

I was dreading the doctor
telling me
I’
d have to have my foot
x-rayed because that would mean waiting around for another few
hours, or
weeks, but after he’d prodded and pressed my foot in all directions he said he didn’t think anything was broken. The doctor called in a nurse who strapped up my foot so tight I’m sure it stopped all
the
circulation
, and then she
velcro’d on top of the bandage a bright blue pr
otective shoe come sandal thing for me to hobble about on, telling me I was to keep my weight off it as much as possible.

Brilliant, absolutely bloody brilliant. I suppose it could have been worse, I mean it was only my foot
,
and it wasn’t actually
broken, just
severely squashed and a bit bruised. But for the next few weeks my foot would take to heal, I wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere much or drive, and they’d given me a crutch to use s
o I could keep my weight off it, so now I was
the actual walking wounded. Like I didn’t feel gormless enough in my fat clothes, and becoming more pudding like every day, now I had a crutch
and a huge useless bright blue foot
.

Fan-bloody-tastic. 
  

1
2
th
October – Week
19 + 3
D
ays

The next morning my foot was throbbing like mad and I’m sure had swollen to twice it’s normal size, it was difficult to tell under all the mass of bandages the nurse had
strapped me up with
, and I felt terrible. The shock probably had set in. It’s a funny thing when you have an accident, you’d think wouldn’t you that the shock would hit you the very second you have the accident, but it doesn’t work like that
. It’s
the adrenalin or something,
some protective survival thing anyway keeps you functioning fairly normally through the pain, and the shock doesn’t hit until few hours later when everything’s calmed down again. Anyway between hobbling about on one foot and trying without much success to use the crutch to get about, those things are really difficult to get the hang of and kill your underarm, and feeling faintly sick, I phoned in work and said I wouldn’t be in.
 

When the doorbell went at about eight I knew it was Rob. I’d wanted to tell him beforehand that I wouldn’t be going to work, but that would have meant going downstairs and I was struggling just getting from the bedroom to the kitchen so stairs were out of the question, and all I could do was wait until he showed up. I shouted through the door that I wouldn’t be g
oing to work today, and he shouted back
asking
was
I
alri
ght, to which I said ‘y
es, just not up to work that’s all’,
and he said okay but if I needed anything to bang on the floor with my crutch.

I made a cup of tea for myself, which was a bit like being on some game show
. W
hat was t
hat one years ago
The Krypton Factor I think it was called
,
where you had to
combine manual dexterity and skill with logic and mental ability, anyway I really wasn’t very good at it, and if it had been The Krypton Factor I’d have been knocked out in the first round or disqualified. The thing with using a crutch is, not only is it extremely uncomfortable but you’re only left with one hand you can use for everything else. So you’ve already only got one foot you can use and now you’ve only got one hand, and trying to get a tea bag out of the packet
with one hand
was difficult enough
,
but pouring boiling water into a cup while balancing on one foot was downright dangerous. 

I managed it though, somehow, and carried my cuppa through to the living room, then had to peg leg it back to the kitchen again for the pain killers the hospital had given me. I was a bit dubious about taking them what with the baby and everything and all my baby bibles categorically stipulating how you shouldn’t
ever
take any drugs
, medicinal or otherwise,
when you’re pregna
nt.
I’d resisted last night but the nurse had said these tablets were safe to take, and this morning my foot
was hurting so much I took one. Then spent the next hour feeling really guilty about it. And
to make it worse
they didn’t kill any of the pain anyway.
 

It had taken a good deal of aerobics to get myself undressed last night
, trying to get my fat bandaged foot out of my trousers without pressing on the bruises was shall we say challenging, and I wasn’t up for the reverse procedure this morning so
I
didn’t bo
ther even trying to get dressed and
I couldn’
t
take a shower, God knows how I was going to manage that, but obviously I was going to have to sooner or later. I just slobb
ed about in my dressing gown fee
ling sorry for myself and thanking God or Sainsbury’
s for micro-waved
meals, and that at least I wouldn’t
have to
starve to death if I ever stopped feeling queasy for long enough to have something to eat.