39 Weeks (41 page)

‘Later. I’m having a shower.’ I said laughing.

‘Damm I knew it was too good to be true, a woman who liked being told what to do.’

‘Later, you can tell me what to do later.’

‘Promise?’

‘Cross my heart.’

I went to the bathroom and Rob laid in bed day dreaming about exactly what he was going to be telling me to do later. As I turned on the shower he shouted through to me ‘
I’m considering whipped cream, lots of whipped cream, have we got any?’

‘Pervert.’ I shouted back, to which he laughed.

As I stood under the cascading water soaping myself I mused over how amazingly wonderful everything was, and how just when you thought there was no such thing as ‘the one’ there he was. Rob was definitely my one.

I washed my hair and was lingering longer than I really needed to under the water
rinsing out the shampoo, luxuriating in the sensation. Suddenly my body wasn’t so gross, it was big alright but since Rob I felt alive, sensuous, sexy even.

‘I’m just going downstairs to see Mac and Marsh
a, let them know I’m still
alive
, I think Mac goes back tomorrow
morning
so I want to see him before he goes.’
Rob shouted through to me.

‘Okay.’ I shouted back.

I reluctantly turned the water off and grabbed a towel wrapping it round myself as I walked back into the bedroom.
I towel dried my hair and combed it through, then ru
bbed the anti stretch mark lotion
all over my bump that I’d bought and had been applying every day since the end
of the summer, so far it didn’t seem to be
working at all, but I contented myself with the thought of how much worse it might have been if I hadn’t been applying it.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and dried between my toes, an area that was becoming more and more difficu
lt to reach as each week passed,
I pulled on some pants,
wrestled into
my old ladies bra and looked at myself in the mirror.
Rob must be out of his mind if he fancied me looking like this I thought, maybe he was, maybe I’d nabbed myself a weirdo of the first order. But I didn’t care, I loved this weirdo.

As I heard Rob returning from downstairs
I pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed
his
sweatshirt that he’d left on the bed, and was huge eno
ugh to completely cover my bump
.

‘H
ow is everyone down there?’ I shouted
out
to him.

‘Everyone down where?’ My mother shouted back.

Oh hellfire and damnation, just when everything was just about perfect my mother has to turn up and ruin it.

‘Mum.’ I said coming out of the bedroom. ‘I didn’t know you were coming today.’

‘Everyone down where?’ She asked again.

‘I thought you were Rob.’

‘He’s here then. I was beginning to think he didn’t exist.’

‘Course he exists. He’s gone downstairs to see his sister. I thought you were him.’

‘How are things?’
She said surveying the room that was to say the least
,
looking
as if
. .
well I believe the polite term is lived in, and no doubt preparing herself for this visits housekeeping lecture.

‘Things are fine. I thought it was next weekend you were coming?’

‘Surely I can drop in to see my daughter without a special invite can’t I?’

‘Course you can I just meant . . is everything alright Mum?’

‘Everything’s fine’ s
he said looking decidedly un-fine. ‘Well aren’t you going to put the kettle on and make some tea?
And what on earth are you wearing?’

‘It’s one of Rob’s old sweatshirts.’ I said walking through to the kitchen that was even more ‘lived in’ than the living room.

She followed me out to the kitchen. Something was definitely up. She
’d
been here two minutes already and hadn’t even mentioned the mess everywhere, and I know she’d noticed it, she always notices everything. I filled the kettle and flicked it on, then made a start on washing up last night’s dinner things that were stacked up in the sink.

‘So how’s your father?’ She asked
casually. But I wasn’t fooled she was never casual when it came to Dad, so whatever it was had something to do with him.

‘Dad’
s okay
, he was when I saw him on Christmas day anyway
. Why has something happened?’

‘Yes something’s happened. He’s been seeing someone else that’s what’s happened.’

‘Oh.’ I concentrated on the job in hand and didn’t dare look at her.

‘You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?’ She said indignantly.

‘I . . it was . . well I didn’t know exactly . . I sort of guessed.’

‘You should have said something.
I was mortified when Jean next door said she’d seen him and
that
Stella Frankham in Starbucks on the
weekend sharing a slice of
apple cake, and making a complete fool of himself by the sound of it. Apparently he was all over her, so Jean said.’

‘Oh . . well I suppose . .’

‘Now don’t you go defending him. He should know better at his age. And anyway
I thought Stella Frankham
was supposed to be
devastated when her husband died,
at least that’s what she told everyone,
so what’s she doing with my Alan.’

I gave up on the washing up, grabbed a tea towel to dry my hands and turned to face her
‘Mum he’s not your Alan, you got divorced remember.’

‘I know that
, you think I don’t know that? It doesn’t mean he should just take up with any passing floozy that takes his fancy does it?’

‘You don’t know that he’s taken up with anyone, maybe they just met in town and went for a coffee.’

‘You don’t share a slice of cake with someone you just happened to meet in town do you? And anyway Jean said they were laughing and carrying on, it was obvious she said that they were  . . well
had a bit of a thing
going on
was the way she described it.’

‘Well what if he is having a bit of a thing, it’s not hurting anyone is it?’

‘It’s hurting me
. I
t makes me look
so
stupid.’

‘It doesn’t make you look stupid at all. You got divorced
from Dad and now he’s seeing other people that’s all. Maybe you should start seeing other people, you’re still young, what about that bloke that came to service the boiler didn’t you say he was nice and was dropping hints about the two of you going out somewhere?’

‘Colin Stoddard are you serious?’

‘Well why not?’

‘Because it’s Colin Stoddard that’s why not. And anyway I don’t want to start seeing other people, any other people, and especially not Colin Stoddard.’

‘Alright not Colin Stoddard then, but there must be someone you . .’

‘No Judy. I don’t want to ‘see’ anyone and your father shouldn’t
want to
either, divorced or not.’

I could see there was no talking to my Mum while she was in this mood
so
I
mentally
crossed my fingers and lied. ‘I’m sure it was nothing and
that
Dad and Stella Frankham are just
friends.
Jean was
probably just
exagg
erating a bit, you know how much she
likes to gossip.’
You owe me one Dad, I thought.

‘Mm maybe
.’

I made the tea
while Mum stared into space, a vacant expression on her face. ‘Here, drink your tea and stop worrying about Dad.’

‘Do you think I ought to phone him?’

‘And say what?’

‘Well I could just say I’d phoned to see how he was, and then casually drop in that Jean had seen him and that Stella Frankham in Starbucks, and see what he says.’

‘Mum you never phone him to see how he is, he’d see through it straight away.’

‘Yes I suppose you’re right.’

We sipped our tea in silence, Mum lost in her thoughts
about Dad and Stella Frankham
, and me thinking
about
how I was going to
explain to
her the truth about Rob and me
in the next ten minutes,
before she met him properly and put her foot in it.
  

She must have read my thoughts or something, becaus
e the next thing she said was ‘s
o how are things going between you and Rob, have you set a date yet?’

‘No Mum we haven’t set a date. I’ve told you and told you
,
we’re not going to
get married
.’

‘Well has he at least asked you?’

‘No he hasn’t. The thing is . . well . . I really need to talk to you about Rob, you see when I said .
.
.’

‘
No! What do you mean no?
If a man get’s you pregnant then
he has . . an obligation
to propose marriage.’

‘An obligation! He doesn’t have any obligation. Well maybe he has an obligation to help support the baby, but not even that, not always, depends on the circumstances. You
’ve heard of
the sixties? Yes well that’s when everything changed, and nowadays men don’t have to feel obliged to marry you if you get pregnant
, although there was probably quite a few who didn’t even before that
.’

‘Oh I know it’
s not the fashion anymore
to get married
just because you’re having a baby
, but still
there’s something to be said for children having two parents. You owe it to the baby Judy. Anyway I thought you loved each other, so I don’t see what the problem is.’

‘This is not about
what’s best for the baby is it? This is all about what you want, y
ou just want me to get married so you’re not embarrassed
by your
daughter
being a single parent. And you’ve been pushing me to get married for as long as I can remember anyway, even before I got pregnant. Sometimes I think you’d like it if I just married anyone, no matter who it is, just as long as I marry someone.’ I was so angry with her I could have cheerfully strangled her.

‘What are you talking about?
I do want you to get married
of course,
but only bec
ause I want you to be happy,
I certainly haven’t been pushing you.’

‘Mum
let’s be honest
shall we,
it’s all you’ve thought about since I was about thirteen, admit it, you want me to have the long white dress, and the flowers, and the church, and all the neighbours watching, and the big fancy reception, and . . and now I’m pregnant it’s even more important that I get married.’

‘And what about you
, don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it
?’

‘Oh yes, it’s all I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl, I can’t wait to walk down the aisle.’ I said sarcastically. ‘My big wedding day with all the trimmings, and you in a posh
suit and a big hat. And then I can give up work and let someone else support me for the rest of my natural, me and the baby. Mmm can’t wait for that.’ I was really getting into it now and let
ting
her have it with both barrels.

All this extra adrenalin pumping round my body had woken Ella up
and I felt her move. My quarrel with Mum temporarily forgotten for the minute, I grabbed Mum’s hand and held it on my bump.

Mum stood still feeling Ella’s foot pressing against my stomach. ‘You have to give this baby a father.’ Mum said all gooey, but none the less pressing home her point. And suddenly I wasn’t angry anymore. I mean I still didn’t agree with her but in Mum’s world she just wanted me to have the
whole picture, of course some of it was for her own benefit so she could satisfy herself she’
d done her job
, and show off to everyone, but mostly it was because in her head anyway that’s what it was all about, you grow up, you get married, and you have children of your own.

The
sound of the front door slamming downstairs
shook me out of my reverie
,
enough
anyway
to realise I still hadn’t explained t
o Mum about Rob and me
.

‘Mum, about Rob . . he isn’t the father.’

‘Isn’
t?
’ Mum said taking her hand away from my bump.