39 Weeks (39 page)

Shelley followed me home and helped me get Tricia out of the car and upstairs
, and then to the bedroom, my bedroom, where she straight away fell onto the bed
and
into a dead sleep.
  

Shelley and I had a cuppa and dissected the events of the afternoon
,
with Tricia
in the starring role of course
and Short Fran as the hero of the hour. Then Shelley had to go but said sh
e’d call me later to see how
Tricia was fairing and if I was coping alright.

Course I did cope alright, I mean there was no coping to be done really as Tricia slept straight through until the next morning. Marsha lent me their blow up bed for the night and Rob helped me set it up, and I spent the night on it in the living room.

By the next morning when she woke up, Tricia was more her usual self albeit with the mother of all hangover’s that meant we were practically whispering to each other to spare her head from any excessive noise. But after a coffee, some toast
,
and two paracetamol she said she felt almost normal. Of course she was mortified at her behaviour, well she would be wouldn’t she, and vowed she’d not only never drink again, and that she was having nothing to do with men, at all, ever, but also that she’d never go back to Chicago’s again.

But that last about vowing never going back to Chicago’s was short lived as I had to give her a lift there later that morning to pick up her car. But we didn’t go inside so I
suppose i
t doesn’t really count
.

On the way back home I stopped off at Sainsbury’s and stocked up a bit, I didn’t need to go too mad as I was spending Christmas day with Dad this year. Since Mum and Dad had split up I
’d
had to alternate Christmas days between my parents, and as last year
I
had been at Mum
’s
this year it was Dad’s turn.

W
hen I got back
from Sainsbury’s
who should be waiting for me but James.
He’d come round, he said, to say happy Christmas and give me a card and a present. He was waiting in his car but jumped out as I pulled in to my usual parking spot, and helped me carry the shopping upstairs.
He’d already knocked for me but evidently Rob had told him none too politely that I was out, so he
’d
waited
for me
in his car.

It had been a couple of weeks since I’d heard from him, and to tell the truth I was relieved and
had begu
n to think he’d finally got fed up and moved on with his life, but now I didn’t know what to think. After dumping the shopping I opened his present, it was a pair of earring’s that I knew I’d never wear, not only because they were from James but because
. .
well to tell the truth they were hideous and not my sort of thing at all, but of course I enthused getting into the true spirit of Christmas, that being the giving and receiving of stuff that you wouldn’t normally give house room to but pretending it’s the best gift you’ve ever chosen or received.

I felt I ought to reiterate
to James
that I was still going out with Rob and that not
hing had changed, and said
I was sorry I hadn’t got him anything for Christmas, and he said it was okay and that he understood. He still had that lost puppy
dog
look about him and I felt guilty all over again, but it wasn’t really my fault was it? I mean he was the one who . . oh okay it was my fault a bit, what I should have done was stop seeing him as soon as I knew we were never going to be an item, which was probably the day after I first met him, but I hadn’t had I? So it was my fault a bit. Anyway he didn’t stay long as he said he had stuff to do.

Rob came up as soon as James drove away and was all nonchalant as if his dropping in on me had nothing whatsoever to do with James’s visit, and I played right along letting him think I believed his casual demeanour, but secretly I was buzzing at the thought that Rob was bothered
by James’s visit
.

I made a late lunch for us both and Rob stayed for the rest of the afternoon
. At teatime Mac arrived, home for the
holidays
, so that put a stop to any idea’s I might have
had for a cosy Christmas eve
on our own as we spent the evening with Marsha and Mac
,
and Harry and Flora
were as full of Christmas hyperactivity as you might
have
expect
ed
and
were allowed to stay
up late.

Mac and Marsha were having Mac’s parents over for Christmas day, and I was going to Dad’s so one way and another I didn’t see much of Rob yesterday, both of us doing our family duty and all on the big day. We planned that we’d have our own Christmas on boxing day, and now it was boxing day, and I was so nervous I couldn’t sit still.

At eleven on the dot, the prearranged hour, Rob knocked on the door.
I’d barely got the door open before he engulfed me in a bear hug, and for a minute or two we stood just holding each other.

‘Happy Christmas.’ He whispered in my ear.

‘Shouldn’t that be happy Boxing Day?’ I said.

‘Well technically I guess,’ he said breaking away but leaving his arm round my shoulders as we walked into the living room. ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘What since yesterday?’
I’d seen him briefly in the morning
as I went out
the front door on my way to Dad’s.
 

‘Yes, but it feels more like I haven’t seen you properly for a couple of weeks
.’

‘I know what you mean, but there was nothing I could do
,
Tricia was so . .’

‘I know. I
s she alright now?’

‘Well as alright as she can be, but she’ll get over it, I hope anyway.’

‘I got you a present.’ Rob said, clearly he wasn’t that interested in Tricia’s well being, and to tell the truth right at that moment neither was I, in fact Tricia was pretty much the last thing on my mind.

‘I got you one too.’

‘Shall we do it now or wait till later?’

‘No now, let’s do it now.’ I said. I was desperate to know what he’d got me, not out of any
motivation
of greed
but
just to find out
if it was a ‘serious’ present or not.

We sat down on the settee and I handed over the jumper I’d bought, and he handed over his present that I knew straight away wasn’t going to be serious. I mean it was too big for jewellery, but too small for anything mega, in fact it looked like it was a book. I ripped the paper off and it was, it was a book. A book
for god’s sake
!

It was call
ed Starting Your Own Business, a
nd was full of useful information about cash flow and bank loans and self employment tax. Great. Just what I need, I’d spent years learning about finance and taken exam after exam, and now I had a book about it.
And
what did that say in the whole present exchanging league
scheme of things
?
I suppose he had put some thought into it
,
I mean it was sort of personal with me
just starting out working for myself and everything, but it was hardly the declaration of undying love I’d been hoping for was it?

‘I thought with you
going
to work for yourself and everything . .’
R
ob said all eager and excited.

‘It’s great, really great.’ I lied. ‘This’ll be really useful.’

‘You’re sure?’ Obviously I wasn’t being enthusiastic enough and now he sensed my ambiguity.

‘Yeah course I’m sure. Thanks Rob. Open yours now.’
I said trying to inject some passion into my response.

I held my br
eath while he opened his jumper
but I needn’t have worried
,
he liked it, well he seemed to, and straight away pulled his current sweatshirt off to be able to put his new jumper on. It fitted thank God, and I breathed again.

‘Thanks Judy. I love it.’

He bent down and kissed me, but I needed more than just a thank you kiss
, so I pulled him down beside me
. He didn’t resist, not at all in fact, and I would have happily stayed locked in his arms for the rest of the day, but dinner called
my attention away from this
heavenly scenario
.

I’d decided it would be just too much to have
a traditional Christmas dinner,
for one thing I wasn’
t sure I was up to cooking roast turkey with all the trimmings, my cooking wasn’t too bad as long as I stuck to
the
simple straight forward stuff, you know like scrambled eggs or a ready prepared quiche and all you had to do was warm it up. But even aside from that I figured firstly that we’d both probably have had
a
Christmas dinner the day before, and also the last thing I wanted was to have to spend half the day in the kitchen stressing about whether I’d basted the turkey
often enough, or what time I should put the potatoes on.
 
 

After much consideration, I’d decided on a pork and apple casserole, with a side salad. It was a bit ambitious for me
as these things go
but on the other hand almost impossible to ruin as once you’d done all the preparation, which I had first thing this morning, you could leave it on a low heat for an hour or so and forget about it, and there was no timing of any other stuff to worry about as it was all in the same pot
and
all cooking at the same time.

We wandered out to the
kitchen and I checked the oven as if
I knew what I was doing and that
any
not checking
on my part
might have ruined something
, and
Rob opened the bottle of wine he’d bought with him and poured us a glass each.

I sipped mine slowly relishing each mouthful. It wasn’t particularly high in alcohol content but this was the first taste
I’d had of anything even vaguely alcoholic
for months
, and I wanted to make it last. Of course alcohol was strictly taboo, but hey it was Christmas and a glass or two of wine wasn’t going to bend the rules too much. Was it?

Ella didn’t think so anyway, she wriggled around and had a stretch, at least that’s what it felt like, and I paused
mid-sip enjoying the sensation
. I was feeling her moving around everyday now, usually at about
mid-day and again sometimes late at night, so she was right on cue. I took Rob’s hand and held it on my bump. As if prearranged
she obligingly pushed a foot against me
, or it
might have been a
hand, anyway the look on Rob’s face as he felt her move was one of absolute wonder, and I s
miled as if it was all my doing
and look
at
how clever I was.

We stayed very still with Rob’s hand resting on my bump, looking like we were playing a weird game of statues
, both smiling our heads off
for almost
ten minutes, and then she got tired and went back to sleep.

‘It’s amazing to think . . .’

‘Isn’t it.’

‘Can you feel that all the time?’

‘No not all the time, just a couple of times a day usually.’

‘Amazing. Does it hurt?’

‘No it doesn’t hurt at all.’

‘What d’you think she’s doing in there?’

‘Just stretching probably.’

‘Amazing.’

We sipped our wine and I snuggled into the crook of his arm.

‘Are you looking forward to it?’ Rob asked not looking at me and deep in thought.

‘The birth you mean? Yes . . sort of. I’m looking forward to having Ella and being able to hold her, but I’m not looking forward to the actual labour bit, not at all.’

‘No I guess that’ll be pretty painful.’

‘I’m trying not to think about it too much.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be alright, I mean women have babies all the time don’t they, so it can’t be that bad.’

‘Only a man would say that.’

‘No think about it, loads of women go on and have ano
ther one, or two, or more maybe
. So it can’t be . . .’

‘Can we change the subject?’

‘I’m sure it’ll be alright Judy. I can understand you being worried, a bit scared even, but really it can’t . .’

‘A bit scared! Tell you what next time you’re having a baby let’s see if you think it’s not that bad, and how ‘alright’ it is.’
I said breaking away from him.

‘I was just trying to help, you know
to stop you worrying too much.’